There are many ways men think about picking up women. Many of these ways are not helpful, though.
Once you're in this long enough, you start to notice a lot of the same mindsets again and again among learners.
Some of these mindsets help the mindset holders succeed with women.
A lot of them do not.
You should not talk about game with most people. It might be tempting to (especially when it's a major point of interest of yours)… but mum's the word.This is a sort of public service announcement, mostly for new guys, but really also for any guy who gets a little 'game obsessed' and starts to spout off about game and girls.
In your day-to-day life, you will have ample opportunity to talk about women.
I suggest that, unless you are on a seduction forum or with a group of men whom you know are very much into game, you don't mention it.
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That can be trying at times, especially when seduction is your passion.
However, you really are better off not doing it.
The simple fact is that discussing the art of picking up girls is alienating to 99.97831% of men out there, including many other men who like to pick up girls.
We talk about it here on this site, and if you read here often it might feel like a normal conversation subject, even. Nevertheless, for most people, this is a subject they do not ever talk about, and don't feel comfortable talking about.
So you need some rules around discussing it.
The best rule is, "For most people, don't discuss this subject at all."
A sound corollary to that best rule is, "For those you do discuss it with, tread lightly."
Are you tuned out while out? If you notice a beautiful woman, is it a surprise you were unprepared for? Here's how to tune IN (in 5 simple steps).In my article on scouting for 'meet girls' spots, a reader named Kevin comments
Hey Chase,
From the articles such as this one where you talk about your observations of other people when you're out on the street, I'm always struck by how aware and tuned-in you are to other people. Myself, for various reasons, I got into the habit of being totally in my head and tuned-out whenever I'm out on the street; I'm also very eye-contact averse, with everybody. I don't look, or I break off immediately. The only exception to those would be when I take very long walks or do day game sessions. And since those feel so much better because I'm really tuned-in, this ability to really absorb your environment and be totally present in it is one I very much want to automate. My question is about your eye-contact. Do you shamelessly observe everybody around you, holding eye-contact with anyone who gives it to you? Do you use the overhead eye-contact tactic from the 'Elite EC' article where you only look at people who look at you? Could you please give me some tips on how to emulate your own tuned-inness to the people around you when out on the streets? Somehow, probably because of social control, I'm really shy about just looking at people and observing them shamelessly!
Many thanks in advance,
Kev
It's a good topic for discussion. Attunement can be a fleeting thing. It's also by no means assured just because, for instance, you went out to approach women.
I observed in that article that the vast majority of people you pass by in life are tuned out. They're lost in their thoughts, thinking about what they need to do that day, absorbed in messages or notifications on their phones -- their heads are anywhere but present.
The attuned man enjoys some distinctive benefits. One is that women notice him much more. Attuned people are in it; they gaze around, their eyes are wider, they're noticeably taking in their environment. Attuned people look for other attuned people, and a woman who's attuned will tend to very quickly notice an attuned man (and you'll notice her). Which women are most likely to be attuned? Those who have a reason to pay attention. Much of the time this means women who are looking to meet someone.
Attuned men are also more risk-aware and better able to present as hard targets to avoid dangerous situations. Very useful if you live in dangerous places (or venture into them from time to time).
There's only one challenge: how do you tune yourself in?
Because for most people, being tuned in is merely a thing that happens to them, on rare occasions, when the mood strikes, or when they chance into the right state.
But that doesn't have to be the case for you.
You can attune yourself directly and consciously, if you know how.
If you want something in life, like a woman to love (or 50 women to love), you're just going to have to figure out how you'll make that happen.
Long before I was a dating coach, I was in a sort of “factotum,” or a state of bouncing through many different jobs. I quit most and was fired from a few. I just didn’t find many jobs rewarding for anything other than paying rent.
At one of these jobs, I was a low-voltage electrician. During the plasma TV boom, every rich person in Vancouver wanted one on their wall. So my job was to install these big, heavy televisions.
I hated it, but the pay was good. It was a hard job that required a lot of problem-solving. How do you get these wires across this house or apartment and into an electronics equipment panel without them being visible? We had to go into the wall, through the attic, or into the crawl space. Then we had to mount these 50-pound beasts (pre-LCD TV) onto these awkward wall brackets.
Some days I’d look at what was involved for an install, and it seemed impossible. I’d want to tear my hair out, quit, and live on welfare. So I’d call my boss and say, “I don’t see how this is possible. It’s too difficult.”
And my boss always gave me the most powerful and vague advice:
“Make it happen, Tony.”
And he’d hang up.
Serious success requires serious commitment. And if you want to be a runaway success as a seducer, you will need to throw yourself in, in these 5 ways.
When you are looking to improve with women, there are a few things to keep in mind.
If you don’t get them in order, things won’t work the way they should, and you will find yourself stumbling around without knowing what to do.
So today, I‘ll outline what you should be doing to help make it easier. I’ll set out some easy-to-follow steps to organize your progress as you go through your journey.
You can use phone calls (yes, phone calls!) to reward women for good behavior – like good vibes and happy dates… but don't call when she's been naughty…Phone calls are totally old school and no one ever uses them anymore. Right?
Well, the truth is men have always avoided phone calls as much as and wherever possible.
Back when texting wasn't all that popular and no one had messenger apps on his phone, guys still didn't like to make phone calls. They're nerve-wracking, higher pressure, and you can't sit and think about what you want to say -- it's all happening in real time.
Yet men who learned to use them then discovered phone calls were an almost magical way to bolster good connections with girls, repair frayed ones, and get out onto dates women who wouldn't otherwise have come.
And believe it or not, in the age of furious thumbs tapping out multitudinous messages, they still do.
On the forums, guys have repeatedly noted they tried calling girls (despite thinking it was out-of-date) and were amazed how well it went. Young women whom nobody ever calls, ever, get calls from guys and the calls go great and they lead to dates and hookups.
But this article isn't about whether to use phone calls or not use phone calls.
Instead, it's for that elite subset of men among you who already use them.
And the focus here is on how to reward with phone calls... or punish with their lack.
Just because you use boyfriend disqualifiers doesn't mean you're totally out of the running as a boyfriend. Many guys still act like boyfriends… yet don't even realize it.An issue I've noticed guys have over the years is they stumble upon Girls Chase, they read about not coming across as a boyfriend, and then they try to present themselves as 'not boyfriends' without actually changing their vibes.
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Typically what they do is they add certain things to their conversations that they've read will push them out of boyfriend contention.
But then they don't actually revise the rest of their conversation to take out boyfriend-y topics and remarks. And they don't change their presentation or delivery style any, so they still seem like boyfriend candidates -- except now they're candidates who also say some slightly un-boyfriend-y things.
So let's talk about things men do (without even realizing it) that make them come across as boyfriend candidates to the women they meet... even while these men think (in error) that they are "coming across like the ultimate lovers."
If nightclubs are open in your area, yet subject to social distancing restrictions, can you still meet women at them? Or are your nightlife prospects… LOCKED DOWN?
Hey guys.
Welcome back. This will likely be one of my last articles on COVID-19 for a while. I’ve shared all I know for now. Of course, if I make any mind-blowing discoveries or find something worth discussing, I will cover it for you.
Today I’ll discuss a topic I know many have been waiting for: clubbing during the pandemic.
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I apologize for bringing this up so late. I prioritized this series of articles since not everyone has been able to go clubbing because of differing levels of lockdowns and restrictions. I preferred to cover themes that a larger audience could resonate with first.
Also, I did not cover this earlier because I believe clubbing with social distancing outright sucks. So much so that even a night gamer like me tends to favor other game types for now.
Hopefully, we will open up to something closer to normal soon. If all we have to do is wash hands, wear a mask, and “be careful” (not impose social distancing) when entering clubs, I will reconsider. But for the time being, I do not see clubbing as a good way to meet women, even though I have had some success.
Where I live, clubs are closed. However, I went to visit my homeland during the summer, and clubs were open. I spent some nights out there with my fellow wing, Halvor Jannicke. The observations I share here are mine and his. So he deserves some credit.
But even Halvor, as a fellow night gamer, is not very motivated in clubbing lately.
To be clear, we are talking about clubs where social distancing is required, and your freedom to move around and mingle is limited:
You will be led to a table with your social circle.
You are not always allowed to go to the bar to order. You must do so when seated at your table.
You can usually only get up from your table to use the restroom.
Some places have smoking areas; others don’t. So you have to step outside the club to smoke.
Can you mingle? Some places are stricter than others, but generally, it is forbidden.
In other words, the club experience has become quite crappy. So as you can probably already see, there is not much you can do.
But there are a few things you can do, and that’s what I will cover here.
However, it is looking grim for nightlife so far. I will share my solutions, although I’ll admit, they are not that good, and you will still be limited. If you are looking for ways to meet women during the pandemic, read my recent articles. I cover better ways to live out your sex life during this crisis.
Most women may like taller men. Yet if you know what traits to look for, you can spot the women who are open to dating shorter men… or who even prefer them.Where are the women who like short men?
I used to watch this cartoon called “Invader Zim.” It’s about a jerk alien who’s one of the shortest in a society that places high status on the tallest members. The leaders of the race are actually called “The Tallest.”
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The joke is obviously aimed at us, the human race, and our predisposition to give status to the big and tall. It’s tied to our DNA, I suppose. Men like women with thin waists, wide hips, and big breasts for baby-rearing. Women like big, tall, strong men to protect them from wild beasties in the night. We haven’t evolved all that much.
Does that mean if you’re under five feet tall, you’re doomed to dating other Hobbits? Are you going to be stuck traveling the yellow brick road, forever limited to other Oompa Loompas? Don’t fret little one.
Today I’m going to alleviate the insecurities of the countless vertically-challenged men seeking confirmation that they’re not doomed to a life of AI sex dolls and Cheetos. There's plenty of hope for your dating as a short man.
Yes, there are women who like dating short men. It’s not a niche you’ll find on porn sites (I’ve never looked), but thanks to something we call having “game,” any man can rise above (snicker) the competition.
You'll see a lot of cute women on their ways to work in the morning. Have you ever tried to pick one of them up? Know how it's done?Recently a friend of mine arrived in a new city and went out for day game on a weekday afternoon. He felt disappointed to find few attractive women. Yet we talked about that, and I noted that most of the good-looking women are not walking around town during the day... most of them are at work (or they might be in their classes).
I suggested he try going out during evening rush hour, when all the women get out of work. This has long been one of my preferred times to day game. There are a lot of great advantages to it:
Women are out en masse from work, all crowded onto the streets at the same time. You have a high density of approachable women
Because they're coming from work, they're typically not in as much of a rush as if you meet them on their lunch breaks or on their morning commute
Having spilled out from work, some of them are happy to meet a sociable guy who isn't as ground-down by a day in the office as the people they've been around all day; others are high on endorphins themselves after their 'escape' and are feeling good and happy to meet anyone friendly
I personally very much like professional women, and a beautiful girl in her cute little business attire is extremely fetching to me. It's easy to get excited about women dressed this way in my opinion (she might dress sloppy off work, but she has to look nice on the job)
Today's article though isn't about evening rush hour, which in many ways is the easier of the two rush hours to approach during. I'll probably do an article on that as well.
Instead, this article's on morning rush hour -- a go-to guide for meeting girls on your way to work... or, if you are like me, a sometimes morning-rush-hour tourist.
