Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

10 Reasons You Procrastinate Going Out to Approach Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

approach procrastinationCAPTION

We’ve all heard of approach anxiety, but what about approach procrastination?

Approach procrastination is delaying, avoiding, or putting off the act of going out to practice approaching women.

Approach procrastinators say they want to learn pickup, but only get out on the weekend for a short day or night session, then go home to procrastinate for another week, or four.

These chronic approach procrastinators often hang out on forums, or WhatsApp groups, where they are eager to discuss and argue their seduction and self-improvement philosophies. I see them on the streets, or in the malls when I’m running bootcamps, walking in circles for hours, occasionally mustering the courage to do an approach. By that time, their busy wingmen have already tried ten or more times, and are ready to go home and play Xbox.

Because these men never put in the real effort required to meet available and eager women, they become discouraged, which further disincentivizes them to try again. This leads to feelings of missed opportunities, guilt, stress, depression and resentment.

How do I know this? Because I, Tony D, am a serial procrastinator. Over the years I’ve developed a toolset to keep me moving forward and keep me from falling into a torpid state of apathy and sloth. So, I’ll do my best to help you chronic procrastinators in your quest to be awesome with women.

Let’s look at the main causes of approach procrastination

The Problem with Direct Game, Pt 1: Does Direct Game Work?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

direct gameDirect game (where you never conceal your interest in a girl) gets a good wrap in men's circles. Yet it never works nearly as well as its proponents advertise…

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I attempted to debunk the perceived inequality between the sexes and their power on the dating market. It is easy for men to perceive women as more powerful because they get more attention, and therefore are more in control.

After all, men chase women for sex; they can say “yes” or “no” to their requests. Demand is high when it comes to sex with beautiful women.

Although both men and women seek validation, male and female sex drives differ in the source of validation.

Men get validation through sex, and women receive it through attention—more precisely, sexual attention—knowing that men find them desirable.

Both can enjoy sex and desire sex equally on a PHYSICAL and even EMOTIONAL level.

However, men are not only led by their drive toward sexual satisfaction but by their ego—their feeling of power and attractiveness from “conquering” a woman through sex.

Hence, men have two motivations to seek sexual encounters:

  • Their sex drive, which they share with women

  • Their ego drive

Females get satisfaction by having someone desiring them, which does not involve a need to put out.

We know that “putting out” and having sex left and right with men can lead to social consequences for women. Women fear the slut label, so they have fewer incentives to put out.

Seduction School: Escalating Despite Objections

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

escalating past women's objectionsWomen will resist you and object to what you say. Yet you must be able to escalate things with them anyway. Once you can, success with girls gets simpler.

I've been seeing a bit more lately of guys scratching their heads and asking, "How do I do XYZ thing?" and not really getting it.

So I wanted to start an ongoing series (like Tactics Tuesdays and Secrets to Getting Girls) that gives basic advice on how to develop uncommon-but-useful skills and abilities.

Today the focus is on moving things along (escalating) despite women's objections.

If a woman objects to things you say you want her to come do with you, will you still find a way to do them, or will you give up?

Backing off, redirecting, or biding your time can be an okay strategy sometimes. But other times, it's a seduction death knell.

A good seducer knows when to push as well as when to back off and let the woman come to him.

And right now, we'll take a close look at the former.

Strong Men Get Cucked Too

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

strong men get cucked"Be strong" and no woman can whip or cuckold you, right? Well, the truth is, no matter how strong a man is, if he picks the wrong woman, she still may.

There's this myth in male corners of the Internet that to not end up whipped, walked on, and cuckolded by women you've just got to be 'strong'.

If you can be strong enough, women will respect your strength and not cuck you.

And while strength of frame is one of the most important elements in a man's character (and thus, his ability to retain his women), this alone is not nearly enough.

The unpleasant fact is this: every day, in every part of the world, women are cuckolding strong men.

Many a man, overconfident in his strength, walks into relationships where wily women gain the upper hand over him, whip him (also called 'betaizing' him), or cuckold him.

Hubris, the downfall of many a hero in the old Greek tragedies, causes the fall of these men too.

Yet the fate of these men is avoidable for you.

All it takes is a little humility... a little more self-awareness... and a healthy dose of self-control.

Dating in Your Thirties is Even Better (If You're a Guy)

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

dating in your thirtiesAfter 30, is it time to hang up your dating spurs? Not quite (well, unless you're married). In fact, if you're a guy, your thirties are the best time to date you'll get.

Dating in your thirties: if you learn cold approach and seduction, it’s absolutely the best time you’ll have in your dating life.

That’s considering you’re still single and not married with kids yet.

If you are, I’m sorry. ;)

Many of my clients in their late thirties are already divorced. They’ve spent a good chunk of their life in a monogamous relationship, and now they’re single again, lacking that skill that most young men develop: game.

Every time I go to a men’s forum, a pickup or seduction group, or Reddit, some dude is asking if it’s “too late” for him.

“I’m 27, is it too late to learn game?”

“I’m 25, is it over?”

“I’m 32, am I done?”

Let me share an anecdote about age.

All through my teens and twenties, I was horribly shy around women. I wanted to have a hot girlfriend, but if I managed to weasel my way sideways into a conversation with one, I’d have a panic attack.

I don’t mean a little bit of shyness or nerves. I’d have a full-blown, huff and puff, blow my house down, panic attack. It was absurd, embarrassing, and I hated it.

Anyone who suffers from social anxiety knows it’s not a logical process. Being told to “just be confident” or “just be yourself” doesn’t work, not when the mere thought of talking to a girl sends your heart racing. Yeah, I’ll just be myself, a quaking mess that can’t form vowels and consonants.

Tactics Tuesdays: Negative Compliance Busters

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

no bustersAnother technique to break past "no"s when girls give them. And not just break past them… but make it seem like you're the one who gave the "no"!

Otherwise known as 'no busters'.

What do you do when you ask a girl to do something and she gives a firm 'no'?

Well, you can just give up and move on completely. And sometimes that's the right call.

On Pick Up Artist "What Works Better?" Debates

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pick up debatesWhat's the best way to pick up girls? Is it tactic A or tactic B? Is Method M superior to Methods S and C? Here's the true exposé on what works best and why.

Wanna know one thing that will definitely never help you do better with girls?

Boasting about how your way to get girls is better than other guys' ways to get girls.

There was an old mASF discussion, back in '04 or '05, where the tired old, "What works better, indirect or direct?" debate got dredged up from the crypt and infused with new life.

I recall reading it in the archives.

Two of the participants were Style (Neil Strauss), the guy who wrote the best seller pick up artist book The Game, and Dimitri (Sebastian Drake), founder of the pick up artist training company theApproach, and a guy who served in a mentor role for me for many years.

Style's point was that you could not ever pick up a girl who was an "8 or better" with direct game. You could only use indirect for this.

Dimitri's point was that he had the most luck picking up girls who were "8s or better" with direct game.

I've never rolled with Style, but I spent a fair bit of time rolling with Dimitri, and I watched him pick up some of the most beautiful women I've witnessed any guy I've rolled with pick up, in the single fastest pickups I've seen guys I've rolled with pull off. A stunning young French stewardess he same-day laid off the beach right after we'd swum the Mediterranean (turned out we'd accidentally switched hotel keys, so he shagged her in my room and used my condoms. I had to call the cleaning service after, my room was so destroyed...). A pair of beautiful, flashy, and shapely Japanese girls we picked up off the street outside an L.A. club. Many others. All with direct openers.

I was a pure indirect guy at the beginning (more because I lacked the balls to go direct then, than that I didn't know how to do it). Dimitri urged me to try direct, so I did. And I found it worked very well for me.

I also found it worked better in some situations than in others. Some of the most beautiful, incredible girls I've been with I picked up I picked up with direct. Others of them I picked up with indirect.

I say all this to preface this post, which is not about direct vs. indirect, but instead something else: getting into stupid debates where you tell other guys that stuff they do that is working for them DOESN'T work is stupid.

What Power Men (Really) Have in the Dating Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

power in the dating gameWhat power do men have in dating? It may seem like women hold all the cards. Yet men have one special thing at their fingertips that women desperately crave…

Are men totally without power in the current dating game?

It could seem so to many.  Today I would like to discuss this subject while discussing what gives women that “power” and whether or not this ends up creating a skewed dating game.

Many of you will start seeing this article as some rant – but truth is, it is not. It will start of with the typical “the dating game is unfair” type of narrative – usually shared by the manosphere. However, I invite you to read the whole article, since I believe things are not as one-sided (and if you came here to get a confirmation for your flawed “the world is unfair” type of belief – you may leave disappointed).

As a matter of fact I will later in this article move on to discuss what power men actually have.

No, we are not talking about the typical “men have economical and political power” which is the argument most feminist would give.

Whether true or not (most likely some truth in it) is completely irrelevant to our discuss because whether there are more men making up the elite (political and economic) has very little impact on normal men’s dating lives.

In fact, when discussing the subject of equality (and inequalities) between the sexes, the subject is always surrounding political and economical power. Yet, we rarely see “legal” inequalities being discussed, most likely because the results of such discussion would be contrary to the current narrative (men are usually disfavoured in courts of law – especially in cases regarding parenting, etc.).

Although kind of relevant to pick up and seduction, political/economical/legal power will not be the subject of today's discussion, because it has little impact on actual dating strategies and the mating process.

You Must Brave Looking Stupid to Get Skilled in Seduction

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

get out what you put inMost men will never excel with women for one simple reason: they're too scared of looking stupid.

I’ve met many guys who are trying to get good with girls.

And I’ve noticed a common theme: guys just spinning their wheels, putting in the effort but not seeing progress.

Much of this comes down to expecting certain results and not looking for the right progression markers.

However, some guys do not know what to expect and are unprepared for how deep seduction truly is.

5 Good and 3 Bad Things About Dating a Married Woman

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

dating a married womanIf the morals aren't a problem for you, there are some serious upsides to dating a married woman. Yet it isn't all sunshine… there are things to be wary of, too…

Today I want to talk about the good and bad things about dating a married woman.

I’ve got a bit of experience with married women. I use the term “dating” lightly because the definition of “dating” is: a form of romantic courtship with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner, in an intimate relationship, or as a spouse.

I’ll assume that you’re not looking for a long-term relationship or marriage if you’re dating a married woman. If you are, then you’ve got one hell of a journey ahead.