In Part 1 of this series, we discussed the
fundamentals of certainty – The Triumvirate of Certainty.
The Triumvirate goes like this:
Certainty of Knowledge
Certainty of Desire
Certainty of Morality
If any of these pillars are missing from your mind, your certainty will be imperfect. You will be uncertain. This article is dedicated to managing these uncertainties.
Let’s get to it.
If you get your hackles up, or start to feel defensive, it’s easy
to turn adversarial on dates and in conversations. Yet do this, and you
will quick run into walls with women...
Here’s an insidious problem it’s easy to overlook.
Sometimes if you hit the bars, or the street, or a party, and your first few approaches don’t go well, and you pick up a couple rejections, you can start to sour on the whole ‘chat up new girls’ thing.
Contents
1. The Problem with ‘Adversarial’
2. Being Less Adversarial with Girls
Or sometimes if you have a history of rejection... or you’ve been reading too much anger-inducing content on the Internet... or you’ve just had a terrible day in general... this can happen.
Basically: you start to expect the worst, and either bristle for it, go in adversarially, or both.
And when a woman talks to you, she can feel it: you’re defensive, guarding against rudeness, insult, or dismissal. And/or you’re aggressive, treating her like an opponent whose defenses and objections you must ‘beat’, instead of as a friend you’d like to help lead around those objections (and into bed).
Yet the more adversarial you let your approach become, the worse it will usually do.
You need to not do this to make things work better with girls.
There are 8 kinds of orgasm a woman can experience. And with this
routine, you can communicate your sexual expertise to her – and leave
her dripping to hook up with you.
Contents
Hey, guys! Today I will post a technique that I have been using since 2009! And it is probably my most successful technique. It’s a real gem, folks! Not only that, but many other skilled seducers I know of have gotten laid with this exact technique over the past year. It truly is a powerhouse.
This will be a long post, but not because there’s too much to remember. I really want to give you every detail and cover the theoretical background and potential pitfalls (and how to avoid them). I’ve also included some good examples as well as good sex talk transitions you can use. Do not get freaked out. That said, this post is best fit for intermediate to advanced seducers. Depending on your level, I will share variations of this technique. I will also suggest, for those of you who are truly advanced, ways you can further spice it up.
Not too long ago, I shared a very detailed report on the forums.
In that thread, a poster named “yash” made the following request:
“Could you go more in detail on The 8 Types of Orgasms? I don't think I've seen an article on that ever on the main site, plus I haven't seen it in the boards, but I would love to know the process for how to pull each one of them off.”
Yash is right. I haven’t shared it on the main site, which is why I will do it now. Last time I posted it was on mASF in 2010 (the pickup forum back in the day where all the legends were made – a place that no longer exists). So yeah, a revisited version is in order.
The routine (or gambit) was one of my first sex-talk routines, and it is still one of my favorites. When I discovered and wrote down my theory on sexual prizing, I had to make a routine based on it. That was the “8 Types of Orgasm” routine. I have of course made many gambits based on the concept of sexual prizing, but this is the classic version.
Even though I made it when I was 16, it truly rocked my world. Girls would go easily from orange to green… and not just green… I mean they’d go straight luck-o’-the-Irish chartreuse! I used it 2 weekends ago, first on Thursday with a super-hot, introverted, 20-year-old girl who did not show me much attention at first. But she lighted right up after this routine. I used it again Saturday as a 1-shot-1-kill on a 21-year-old chick who literally asked me to take her home right away.
I am about to share something juicy.
First things first. I do not consider this technique super advanced, as I pulled it off successfully when I was intermediate (still with a few failures, which you will not experience that much if you are an advanced player – but again, failures are what transform you into a calibrated seduction master).
With that in mind, let us get on with it.
What women say they want and what they actually choose often
doesn’t line up. Why is so much of what women really want unconscious?
One of the most challenging aspects of psychological science is how
often people say they want one thing, only to choose something else.
I saw this routinely back in my tire salesman days. A customer would come in and say he wanted the cheapest set of tires we had. I’d ask him about what he wanted his driving experience to be like; I’d discover he wanted great road traction and a comfortable ride; and he’d proceed to purchase a premium set of tires with excellent traction and ride comfort instead.
Contents
This “what you say you want vs. what you actually want” issue manifests in all sorts of ways in psychological science, too. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel’s 2008 speed dating study “Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner?” found no matter how strong someone insisted a preference was (e.g., “I will only date a girl if she is beautiful” “I won’t date a guy unless he makes a lot of money”), that person was no more likely to pick someone who matched the preference in a live event than average.
In his chapter in The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary Psychology
and the Generation of Culture, on how women evaluate mate
prospects, Bruce J. Ellis unfurls a host of items on how women select
their mates. One of the most important things Ellis talks about,
though, is some of the paradoxes in mate selection. For instance, much
research finds women are drawn to men who are socially dominant:
men who dominate their social environments. These men tend to be
cooler, more aloof, and more detached. Yet a lot of other research
finds women are drawn to men who are warm, personal, and caring. How do
those two connect?
We’ll talk about Ellis’s solutions to the warmth-dominance paradox below. But first we need to pose a question: do people actually know what they want?
You never want to explain yourself to a woman’s tough questions.
Yet to brush them off, you need the right tactics – and the right
mentality.
We’ve talked about tough questions (which fall under the umbrella of ‘tests’) before. I’ve given you some ways to answer these well, as well as a formula to know how to respond to such challenges (i.e., status and respect). And, perhaps most importantly of all, I cautioned you never to explain yourself to women.
Contents
Today we’ll talk about a few specific varieties of challenging questions you can receive (from both men and women... though we’ll focus mainly on questions from women today). That variety is tough questions; questions that put you on the spot, in a not-so-helpful-to-your-cause sort of way.
We’ll talk about brushing these questions off. But there’s going to be a twist to how we do this; we don’t want to do a brush off in a way that looks like we are trying not to answer. That’s because if you evade someone’s questions (for too long), it seems like you’re frightened, or have something to hide.
So instead, we want to brush tough questions off in a way that either blows up the question, or lets us answer it on more favorable terms.
To be able to lead – whether men, women, or both – you must be
certain. And to be certain, you must have three (3) elements in place.
Two candidates are about to give their speeches for president of the Interfraternity Council. The IFC is the board that governs all the fraternities on campus. It controls how and when rush proceeds (the process by which fraternities and sororities recruit members) and deals with disciplinary action.
It's not that important of a position, since at this school, they're quite liberal with control, but it's still a position. And men, well, they like titles. It makes them feel important. They respect them. Women? They yearn for men with position. It gets them wet.
So these two men want it.
The first candidate is the former vice president and has been given the opportunity to speak first.
“Hey guys! As you know, I was vice president for the past year and hopefully have lived up to the duties given to that position. As you saw, I tried to reestablish the philanthropic duties of vice president and actually held a fundraiser, something no vice president in recent memory has done. Also, I oversaw a judicial board hearing and carried it out quickly and efficiently, another duty of vice president that hasn’t been fulfilled in recent years. I’ve seen how the executive board works. I’ve worked with the president closely, helped him facilitate almost every duty of the council, seen how all the paperwork gets dealt with, and have even met with administrators in an effort to better understand what the school wants from us.
I hope that you’ve noticed my hard work and dedication and will do me the honor of voting me in as president of the council. Thank you very much!”
Jealousy is a green-eyed monster. But to overcome it, you must
adjust both your focus, and steer your partner’s worst behavior.
Sometimes you’ve got a girlfriend who’s a bit of a flirt and keeps guys around her on a hook. Sometimes you’ve got a girlfriend who’s a little oblivious (or at least, presents herself that way)... and keeps men around whose intentions with her are more than platonic, yet she acts like she doesn’t see it. Sometimes she doesn’t do any of that, but you’re nervous anyway. Maybe a girl’s burned you in the past, or you’re just a little short on trust in general. Regardless the reason, you know jealousy’s an issue for you... and it’s time to rein it in a bit.
Contents
This article is not about how to prevent cheating. If you need that, read my article on it: “How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend.” Nor is this article about how to screen for girls less likely to cause problems or cheat; for that, check out the list of resources in this article: “Her Raw Material or Your Relationship Skills: Which Matters More?”
Instead, this article is a reframe of normal male jealousy. For this article, we’ll assume you’re in a fairly healthy, fairly safe relationship where cheating is not that big of a real issue. If infidelity is a big issue, of course, you shouldn’t read an article on how to get rid of jealousy. You should, rather, probably read about how to get rid of a troublesome partner and replace her with someone less heartache-inducing.
We’re going to walk a bit of a fine line here. Because the goal is not to totally and completely erase jealousy altogether. Think of jealousy as a warning sign. It’s your canary in the coalmine. If the canary flips out and starts to chirp and squawk every time somebody comes down the mine elevator, it’s obviously not doing its job so well. But you don’t want to completely take the canary out of the mine either; otherwise you’ll receive no warning when the roof is about to collapse.
So, in this article, we will seek to get jealousy focused on only the right signals – and train it to ignore that which is not as much of a threat (or at least, that which is less of a threat).
You may think you only like girls of this personality, that look,
or this background. Yet to truly know women, you must experience them
in all their variety.
Contents
Hey, guys. I hope you enjoyed my latest series on calibration. This post is not about calibration per se, but the advice shared in this post will benefit your calibration as well as provide a lot of other benefits.
This post is more a reflection on life choices in regards to women, and how those choices can affect your future. I’ll cover why I believe meeting a huge diversity of women is beneficial to you. And we’ll tackle some biases men tend to have with women, why biases can be detrimental, and how to overcome them. Additionally, we will discuss the benefits of meeting a large variety of women, some of which include:
Rewiring triggers so you can enjoy new women (sometimes even better women)
Becoming more calibrated and skilled as a seducer
Removing biases caused by observations made from an unrepresentative selection of women
You might tell yourself “I’ll show her!” when a girl is resistant
to or uninterested in you. Is there a better way to respond to a
resistant or disinterested woman?
There’s a mentality I see a lot from guys. I’ve been guilty of it too, so I won’t claim innocence.
It goes like this: some girl doesn’t give you what you want, or she puts up walls to you, or does something else you do not like. In defiance, you tell yourself, “I’ll show her!” and you end the courtship. She’ll miss you when you’re gone – but now it’s too late for her; her chance with you is blown.
This mentality does indeed have its uses. We’ll talk about them below.
However, much of the time guys use it, it is just puffery. The girl moves on, doesn’t spend more than a few thoughts on you, and meets someone else. You, meanwhile, get to be alone with all your “I sure showed her!” thoughts.
If you do it, should you never do it? And if you don’t do it, what ought you do instead?
Your body positioning says a lot about you… and it even tells the people who see you and talk to you how to feel about you. Here’s how to position yourself in nightclubs.
Contents
1. Why Pay Attention to Positioning?
2. Positioning Entering a Club
3. Positioning Entering a Group
Hey guys, I wanted to cover a part of the seduction process that has not been thoroughly explained and is crucial for having good results when picking up girls at bars and clubs. This article is meant for those of you who practice night game.
Alek Rolstad and I were talking the other day, and we slipped onto the topic of positioning. We were amazed how much we used it but didn’t discuss it. We have actually been using a lot of deliberate techniques we never talked about.
After a while of doing seduction, some learned tools become ingrained and you stop reflecting on them. What I’m about to cover I learned from thousands of interactions. Over the years, I have been adjusting my methods of positioning, and I will now share some simple tips about when and why to position yourself in certain ways in clubs to reach the maximal result – the pull.
