Style

I previously said (in this post) my next article would be “How to Be an Alpha Provider”... however, I’m going to switch things up today. Today’s article is about sex symbols: those of the past and those of today. And we’ll get back to the alpha providers again next week. Onwards, then.

Today’s article comes in response to a question from Byron on my article about self-cultivation regarding my preference for older male sex symbols over the more current ones Hollywood has to offer. Here’s what Byron had to say:

“Hey,
I’ve recently come across several comments where you reference Sean Connery and Harrison ford as the epitome of raw sexiness. I was wondering if you could elaborate on this and why not the plethora of modern sex symbols, ie what makes them so different? Or if you could write an article on their appeal or a series on famous seducers/ role models I think that would be very interesting and relevant. Again just suggestions, I realize you are very busy. Thank you for this site!”

That’s a fantastic question. Why do I recommend the older guys more than the newer guys? I had a few reasons, but part of me kind of wondered if maybe I just had some kind of nostalgia-bias when this subject’s come up in the past... maybe I’m simply guilty of thinking older is better.

Fortunately, this article’s forced me to really get down to nuts and bolts, and in the process of writing it, I learned a lot. Let’s dive in.

Think about your old school, old fashioned male sex symbols. Men like:

• Gary Cooper
• Cary Grant
• James Garner
  
• Sean Connery
• James Dean
  
• Harrison Ford
  

Compare them to the sex symbols of modern cinema. Men like:

• Brad Pitt
• Ryan Gosling
• George Clooney
• Ian Somerhalder
  

Do you notice anything?

I like all the guys in both of these lists. All are masters of their crafts, and there are buckets you can learn from watching the facial expressions, body language, and little nonverbal tics of each, as well as studying the way each man uses his voice and his overall demeanor.

However, there’s a clear difference between these two groups of men (that span about two generations each)... a large enough difference that while I personally suggest you take the time to study all of these men, when it comes to my own preferences, the only ones I ever find myself wanting to model outright are the ones from before.

And I sat down today and the one question on my mind was, “How do I best explain this difference?”

One of the most powerful drives a man has – perhaps, arguably, the most powerful drive he has – is his sex drive.

Your sex drive is a complicated piece of physiological machinery. It’s partly controlled by your hormones (testosterone is its primary driver in men), though also partly controlled by, of all things, your social status and sexual experience (or at least, this is the case in rhesus macaques, not too far distant from us on the primate family tree).

Various things impact your testosterone and can lower it; a messy sleep cycle, certain diets, even emotionally supportive relationships can bring it down (so you may have to choose between a raging sex drive and fulfilling relationships). See my article on the winner effect if you want to read more about testosterone.

However, the male sex drive is good for more than just sex.

Your sex drive also powers your aggression, your ambition, and your motivation.

And the more you tap into and learn to channel it, to access the power of sexual transmutation, the more you can turn yourself into whatever man you aspire to be.

I got to say – I love spring and early autumn. This is the time when it’s really the easiest to look your best: guys with great physiques can still wear thin, tight jackets or coats over a tee to make sure they “put the goods on display”, while skinnier or chubbier guys can use colors and layers to visually compensate for what their physique is lacking.

Some time ago I created a guide to dressing sexy in summer. Today, I’d like to do the same for colder weather – whether that’s late autumn or winter.

In this article we’ll cover the basics of how to dress in colder weather and look attractive and then go into specifics on what to look for in upper body wear, trousers, outerwear, accessories, and shoes to stay warm AND look attractive doing that.

One thing that’s important to remember before we begin is that we all have different tolerances for heat and cold – for someone who’s used to 20-30+ C warmth most of the year, even going as low as 0-10 C can feel stressful and they will be pulling out their sweaters and warm jackets, while I’m sure that most of you seen the joke that Canadians and Scandinavians only stop sunbathing at -10 C (I really hope it’s only a joke…).

Now let’s get going.

My first “real” job was an entry level position in a contact center – I was one of a few dozen young people who sat in a large office floor taking calls. It was a thankless job but a fun experience overall.

You might be wondering – what does this have to do with first impressions?

You see, I was still rather inexperienced at the time, and after hearing stories from buddies in similar jobs/positions I figured that I might as well use this opportunity to meet women too.

Office romances... great idea right? Well, not really, but that’s another story.

Before my first day I went out shopping for clothes. Because this was my first job with a dress code (no jeans and stuff), I didn’t own anything remotely passable that wasn’t a suit, and this was by no means a job worth wearing a suit for.

Even though my dressing sexy skills were far from what they are today, I was already grasping the basic concepts:

• The clothes need to be cut close to the body to emphasize physique.
• I can subtly use colors to avoid looking boring.
• Showing some skin is a great way to spike sex appeal.
• Grooming matters.

The result,

I got myself slim cut grey dress pants, purple buttoned shirt, black dress shoes, and a black leather belt – solid, professional look. Because I had that ulterior motive of getting with my new sexy coworkers, I wore my buttoned shirt with an extra button open and had my medium length hair styled to something similar to this picture.

Given my agenda, I also tried to have a sexy walk going when passing the floor to get my coffee.

Considering that most other guys did the bare minimum just to pass the dress code requirements, I naturally stood out.

For the first week (or was it two weeks...) we, newbies, were trained separately and only passed the floor where everyone was working a couple of times a day to get coffee and have lunch.

By the end of the training a few funny things happened:

• Most guys who were working there already didn’t like me.

• Some of the female co-workers were already calling “dibs” on me (it was shared with me later in the job).

Both of these things happened despite me saying probably less than five words (“Good morning”, “Hi”) to people who were working there.

Unsurprisingly, by the end of my first week actually working there, a cute co-worker approached me during the break to ask for my number and later asked me out. And during my short time before getting promoted to another department there been a few other pleasurable encounters like that.

I’m sharing this to show you how truly powerful first impression and your image can be. Now, as I got wiser, I usually advise against office romances, but we can reap the benefits of the right first impression in nearly every social situation.

And with this article, I’d like to show you how you can use specifically clothes and grooming to achieve the first impression of a sexy man.

Darius Belejevas joins us today for the fifth installment of the Girls Chase Podcast. Darius is a regular contributor to GirlsChase.com on the subject of fashion and style (you can read his articles here), and today he weighs in with more on these and other topics.

In today’s podcast, Darius and host Varoon Raja discuss:

Recently I wrote an article called “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” where we discussed the strategy of using “projects” to improve different areas of our lives.

That article looked at our lives from a macro level, but the fascinating thing about this approach is that we can apply it to specific areas of our life too. For example, appearance (the article “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” should be your first prerequisite read for context on this piece.).

If you’ve been following my articles, you probably know that for the last six or so months I’ve been focusing heavily on improving my own appearance with the goal of seeing how much one can improve his looks during such a short time given enough focus on effort BUT still while living a normal life (which of course means going out, meeting women, and an occasional drunken debauch).

During this time I focused on the following:

• Movements and posture

• Physique

• Skin care

• Grooming

• Style

And even though I haven’t managed to reach my goal just yet (to become, on average, a 9+ in terms of appearance, which of course is a very lofty goal) the strides in the right direction were significant enough that I feel I can consider it a success and share it with you.

But before we begin…

When I was seventeen I overdosed on cocaine. I weighed 107 pounds and was 5'9" - needless to say, I was skinny. It's been eight years since that event and I now weigh 165 pounds and am around 7-8% body fat. I have been asked to be a fitness model and to competitively powerlift. My journey from being a skinny kid to a muscular bro was motivated almost entirely by my goal of bedding more women.

And although putting on a lot of muscle didn't give me the results I had fantasized about, the journey helped transform my character and turned me into a guy who does in fact bed a lot of women. I'm writing this post because there are a lot of misconceptions about how being muscular helps you with women, so here is the truth about how being muscular will help you get laid.