Style

5 Limiting Beliefs that are Stopping You from Improving Your Appearance


“So, you’re still single?”

“Yeah, you know, I just haven’t found the one yet…”

This is an excerpt from an exchange that happened years ago with a girl I somewhat had a crush on. This happened before I learned that there was such a thing as seduction and started out on the path of improvement.

limiting beliefs

The funny thing is, even though now I can imagine her rolling her eyes at this answer and thinking “yeah, right, that’s why you’re single…” at the time, in my mind it made perfect sense – I had a socially acceptable explanation; an excuse that made my non-existent romantic life “okay”.

And the saddest part was that I truly believed that if only I found “the right girl”, I wouldn’t need to put in any effort, better myself, become attractive, and everything would just happen naturally and I’d live happily ever after.

As romantic as it sounds, this pervasive fairytale-like fantasy was actually a limiting belief in disguise, and a common one at that.

But limiting beliefs are in effect not only in relationships and seduction – tell me what you’re struggling with and I’ll tell you in which life area you have the most limiting beliefs.

With this article, I’d like to discuss some of the more common limiting beliefs that are haunting an area very closely related to seduction – your appearance.

The reason why I’m focusing on this area in particular is that, even though all of us know that it’s a great freaking idea to work on becoming better with women – approaching, isolating, escalating, closing, managing relationships, etc. – many men, especially those who struggle and seem to have very little real success with women, still have trouble grasping the role of appearance in seduction and how to work on it.

Just like I did with my “I just haven’t found the one yet” excuse, they are telling themselves socially acceptable stories why they are not sexy men but expect sexy women to fall head over heels for them.

And so, let’s discuss some of those stories.

How to Look Photogenic in Online Dating Photos: 6 Steps


A sexy photo is without a doubt the Holy Grail of online dating, and I’m not even close to overstating it. Regardless how sophisticated your online dating profile or how cool your byline in Tinder is, regardless how intriguing and innovative your opening message or how smooth your text game is, if you don’t have at least decent photos, you’ll be fighting with one hand tied behind your back.

photogenic

On the other hand, if you do have great photos (a single great one can be enough), you can piggy-back on it and get results despite major flaws in your profile, text game, etc.

For example, when experimenting with OkCupid a couple of years ago, at one time I had a profile that said:

On A Typical Friday Night: “Cover myself in paint, confetti, and perform ancient shaman rituals while “Highway to Hell” is blasting in the background.”

Followed by a “Do NOT under any circumstances message me…”

And I would still get unsolicited messages from women. Admittedly, those weren’t the most beautiful women in the world (usually not too shabby either though), but nonetheless, it does say a lot about how powerful great photos are.

Oh, and the first time I’ve experimented with Tinder I was pretty sure that the app was broken or something, because after a ~10 – 15 minute blitz that I did while waiting for my buddy to pick me up from the train station, I had the phone buzzing the whole day from being matched with someone (and several messages too).

I’m sure at this point you’re really keen to see the photo that’s been so freakishly effective and here it is:

photogenic

As you can see, statistically this photo should be a flop:

  • Looking straight into the camera (in reality I was looking just above the lens).

  • Smiling.

  • No pets / cool activities / cropped-out women.

  • Even clothes are not that impressive (other than noticeably good fit that emphasizes shoulders and color contrast to match with my natural features).

Despite that, it worked like magic. Which is to say two things:

  1. A solid photographer & looking photogenic is enough to get great results from online dating.

  2. My results were quite a ways from being optimal. Imagine if I knew any better then and stacked the odds further by using other strategies…

Easy Nutritional Tracking for Six-Pack Abs


Howdy, gents!

Pardon the hiatus, as I have been busy working very diligently on a series of articles on the subject of modern marriage that you will see here very soon. But with summer fast approaching, I figured this one needed to be written sooner rather than later.

One of our forum members recently posted some pretty astonishing before and after photos of a recent body transformation. He had purchased a fairly simple workout program, and went from “gut to cut” in a little over three months’ time.

six pack abs

It was very inspiring.

When I first started studying seduction, I too decided to put myself through the same type of physical transformation. In addition to eating a healthy diet, which is what we’re going to examine in detail in this article, I decided to start working out five days per week and get myself in tip-top shape.

So yes, you definitely do want to follow some type of fitness plan. So if you haven’t happened across Ross Leon’s article “How to Build a Male Body That Drives Women Crazy” quite yet, you should probably go ahead and give that one a read.

Having six-pack abs is most certainly not an absolute requirement to seduce women. But it definitely helps, and if you’re one of the many guys out there who want the triple-B’s (Bleach Blonde Bombshells), then it is important for you to know that having a guy with great abs is definitely at or near the top of their wish list.

Many guys work out furiously five or six or even seven days per week and still cannot trim enough fat off of their bodies, and usually the reason for this is that they aren’t paying attention to what they are eating!

Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 4: Styling Your Hair


Welcome to the last part of our article series on sexy man’s grooming. In this series we’ve already covered:

This last piece will expand further on dealing with our hair and will cover the daily realities of looking our best, because, as you’ll soon realize, no matter how stylish the hairdresser made your haircut and no matter how great it looked after you left the salon, it’s your ability to make it presentable in the morning or before a night out that will make the actual difference of whether you look stylish and sexy or as if someone drove over a raccoon on your head.

men's hair styling

The process is actually quite simple when we know what we’re doing, but because there’s a lot of misinformation and limiting beliefs about men’s hair styling (no, conditioner is not something that only women should use) it’s a little problematic for most guys to figure out where to start.

I’m sure, like me, at least once in your life you found yourself in a store’s hair care section, looking at the countless options of shampoos, conditioners, and styling products available, wondering what the hell are they all supposed to do, whether you should get one that says “Epic Shine”, “Massive Volume”, “Instant Repair”, or “Now With Extra Fairy Dust!”, just to get frustrated and get something that sounds manly, like “Fusion”, “V8”, or “Turbo Mega Ice Energy SPORT”, ignoring the fact that those names have nothing to do with hair.

So with this article I’d like to help make your hair care routine effective, practical, and simple, which means focusing on the essentials that will lead to the best results instead of trying to learn everything there is to know about hair care.

We’ll start with figuring out what our hair care routine should look like, discuss the most popular styling products and which ones and when you should use them, and lastly we’ll discuss some of the miscellaneous questions that you might have.

Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 3: Choosing a Hairstyle


Continued from “Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 2: Manscaping.”


What the… whose hand is in my hair?

I look up and over my shoulder trying to appear nonchalant. Hmm, well, at least she’s cute… Talk about the perks and hassles of sitting close to the bar with your back turned – this is the second time this happened just this evening. Wait, or was it the third… I’m not even sure anymore.

Manscaping

Over the years I’ve tried A LOT of different hairstyles. At various points I’ve had shoulder length hair and very short hair; I wore it sexy-messy (or on some days just simply messy), slick, neat, and professional; I went for trendy undercuts (when they were still trendy) and for timeless classical cuts. I’ve had my hair dyed with blonde highlights and I’ve had it in black. Haven’t tried bald yet, but probably will after adding more muscle to my physique.

And of course, I’ve tried combining those haircuts with various styles of facial hair (or lack thereof). Well, at least the styles that my genetics have allowed me to try.

Some of the combinations worked very well, others… not so much. A few things I’ve learned from my experimentation:

  • There’s no such thing as a perfect hairstyle or facial hair style. A style that suits one guy can look terrible on another.

  • In the short term, the way you style your hair matters more than the cut itself. In the long term, the quality of the cut is what makes all the difference.

  • “Flavor of the month” hairstyles are not suitable for everyone. But when they work, they work.

  • The way you groom your hair and facial hair is part of your overall image; it’s important to keep the big picture in mind.

  • Experimenting is essential: with the haircuts and facial hair styles you’re going for, the products you’re using, and the professional you’re going to for these procedures.

But most importantly:

The visual proportions created by your hairstyle, facial hair, and your natural features is by far the most impactful aspect of a great looking style.

How you maintain and take care of your hair is a very close second, but that’s something we’ll cover in next week’s article.

Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 2: Manscaping


Welcome to Part 2 of our Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide (you can find part one here: “Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 1: Skin Care”).

Time to cover the topic that I consider to be the “accounting” of men’s grooming – not that sexy, but a job needs to be done or else you’re in trouble – manscaping.

Manscaping

For most guys, dealing with body hair is simply not an urgent topic, and because it usually comes into play after the clothes come off and the deal is mostly done, there’s little pressure to figure it out. Furthermore, you don’t really get that many extra “sexy” points for doing it right.

But beware – let it become a noticeable problem and it will be more impactful than any haircut or facial hair style you could rock, so much so that with some women it can be an instant deal-breaker and a major turn off.

In practice this can mean a woman politely (or not so politely) refuses to go down on you because it looks like you’re packing a personal rainforest down there, or she tries to avoid touching you because it looks like you have more hair on your back than on your head.

So to prevent such situations in the first place, we’ll today cover how to deal with body hair. I know that some of the parts we’ll be covering might seem common sense, but nonetheless, it needs to be said (and applied).

But before we get into the practicalities of dealing with body hair, we need to figure out how much body hair a sexy modern man should have.

Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 1: Skin Care


As promised in my previous article, “How to Deal with Your Physical Insecurities”, I will be starting a series of articles dedicated to helping you make the most out of your looks and become “that hot guy”.

We’ll begin with the Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, which in itself will be split into several parts to make it easier to read without getting overwhelmed. In this grooming manual we won’t be focusing on the issues themselves, like why some men have thinning hair or what causes acne, but instead on the practical, actionable solutions.

As you read through please understand that if right now you have the grooming habits of a lazy chimpanzee (and, hey, no judgment here – I’ve been there myself!) that’s fine, and you don’t need to start doing everything you just read starting tomorrow all at once.

Take your time and implement each strategy one by one so that they become habitual. Do this, and very soon you’ll realize that pick-up begins to get easier, with people in general being friendlier, and life itself somehow just becoming more pleasant.

Grooming Handbook

We’ll start our Seducer’s Grooming Handbook with skin care because, as you’ll see in a moment, it just might be one of the most important physical aspects we can improve.

How to Deal With Your Physical Insecurities


A few friends and I were sitting at a table, careless fluff talk and barely appropriate jokes going all around, when someone made a joke that had everyone cracking up. Too bad I can’t recall the joke. But the point is that we were having a good time. After all, as most people, I love laughing and smiling (that goofy photo next to my name is there to prove it).

Then one of the friends commented – “Why do you cover your mouth with your hand when you’re laughing?”

“I do? Didn’t even notice it.”

I then got noticeably embarrassed and attempted to change the subject.

In truth, I was actually aware I was doing it and the fact that this friend, I’m sure without any bad intentions, drew attention to it made me both angry and uncomfortable.

Body Image

Here’s the deal: at the time I had properly crooked teeth, something I’d been very insecure about; and covering my mouth with my hand (or any other object I might be holding in my hands) was my way of masking this insecurity. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as nonchalant as I imagined and my friend’s comment made it painfully obvious.

And even though I didn’t want to admit it at the time, this seemingly insignificant insecurity was impacting my life in more ways than just trying to hold in a laugh or a smile before I can cover it up with an awkward gesture.

Indeed, in my mind I felt flawed; I imagined how life would be so much better if only I had a beautiful smile – I would instantly become so much more confident and surely all my female classmates would find me incredibly more attractive.

Also, if I saw a woman I liked and then it turned out that she had a great smile, in my mind this would instantly make her “out of my league” because there’s no way any woman with great teeth would find me attractive. Silly, I know.

5 Outfits to Help Make Your Holidays Extra Special


Hey guys,

Have you’ve been naughty this year? I hope you were... and if not we still have a few days to help you find someone to be naughty with.

holiday outfits

Fortunately, the upcoming holidays tend to be very seduction friendly; I’d go as far as to say even more so than the week before Valentine’s Day. All those pretty ladies going out to party their minds out and find someone to cuddle under a warm blanket with a glass of wine the day after.

The moods are cheerful, full of excitement, and sexual energy is in the air the moment you enter the venue. The guys are out to get laid and so are the ladies. And you can tell that by the way they all dress – the moment those heavy coats and sweaters come off, you see skimpy, provocative, and very seductive outfits.

And so it would be very unfortunate not to cash in when it seems that everything is playing in our favor.

How to Get Started Improving Your Looks


This article is inspired by a superb piece Chase wrote recently: “How to Get Started at Picking Up Girls”.

Indeed, just like with pick up, it is quite easy to get overwhelmed by the amount of information that is supposed to help you improve your looks.

You will read advice like “make sure your clothes fit right”, “wear monochromatic colors”, “wear bolder colors”, “add contrast”, “avoid contrast”, “choose colors based on your skin tone”, “invest in a good pair of shoes”.

And if you’re brave enough to step into online communities that focus solely on men’s style you’ll find an even more confusing situation of names dropping and brand obsessing that for an outsider might seem even a bit snobbish (and indeed it sometimes is).

The funny thing is, such advice (even if it seems contradictory) is often technically correct and can lead to great results in certain situations.

improving your looks

But the problem is that unless you had some positive and style-savvy influences in your life – friends, women, etc. – who can show you what actually looks good on you, how proper fit should feel like, what colors go well together it is a very daunting journey to start on. This is especially true for guys who live outside fashionable cities, in locations where wearing basketball shorts and flip flops is considered an “okay casual look”.

I tried to address this issue in the last article “6 Outfits That Will Help You Look Sexy” and Chase wrote a superb primer for men’s style that covers most important points.

Today, I’d like to fill one more gap in the knowledge – the part that goes before you go out shopping or decide what you’ll be wearing on a night out. We’ll cover mindsets and healthy habits that should be developed.

But don’t be fooled, this won’t be a feel-good article that you will read and forget the next day; I will invite you to do some hard thinking every step of the way, so that by the end of this guide you will clearly know what needs to be done in your unique situation.

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