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If you do what ‘they’ do, you get what ‘they’ get – but it may not be what you want. If you want more than conventional, you have to get unconventional.

I was just having coffee with an old friend of mine who recently moved back to town. We were talking about his experiences with dating in a city on the US west coast where he didn’t find the quality of girls that attractive or interesting – for the last couple of years, he’s been longing to move to New York City and start a new journey with more attractive girls. I knew he worked many hours each week and spent little time learning “socially unconventional” paths to meet women.

Learning seduction, game, and pickup is one of those unconventional paths that people dream about but few implement, usually out of fear of social repercussion and shame. Yet, my friend did tell me that he attends meet-up groups, speed dating events, and social mixers to meet women – and didn’t like any of the women he met. He tried to enter new social circles and join activities with like-minded people, and he still didn’t meet a girl he liked.

Conventional dating advice that he followed told him that he should look in these places to find single women he clicked with. Much to his disappointment, after attending many events, he was puzzled as to why he didn’t meet any women he clicked with.

Why did so many people tell him to go to these events to try and find women, he asked? My response to him was pretty straightforward – conventional ideas and solutions lead to conventional results. And that clicked with him immediately.

Recently we had a poster on the Girls Chase forums discussing cold approach pickup – namely, his lack of experience with it. This poster does quite well for himself as it is – he uses a calibrated, sexy, don’t-give-a-damn, alpha guy approach in dating apps such as Tinder.

After spending years working on his profile, pictures, message style, and portraying himself as an attractive man on the apps, he tells us that sex with girls who are 6-8s on the scale and who are his type come pretty easy to him.

At this point it’s so easy, he doesn’t even find the desire to pursue these women at times. He’s so good at this game that it started to get boring, and he feels that it’s netted him the highest ROI when coupled with the good pictures and profile he’s put together. He noted that he can go out with and bang an above average looking girl at least every other week – because, according to him, on dating apps the intentions are super clear.

“I was in the school of thought that cold approaching was dead or just an overall low return on investment. Lately, I have incorporated so much into my life in regards to dating and women that I don't really have that urge and killer instinct to want to cold approach hot girls. Online dating has spoiled the crap out of me, my hobbies provide opportunities, and social circle game is starting to slowly take off for me. In many ways, I don't need cold approach…”

Yet, he also acknowledges that cold approaching is one of the few ways to realistically get the most attractive women on the higher end of the looks scale outside of his lifestyle and social circle game – and that is one of the ceilings in online dating, even though it’s comfortable and men are happy with screwing 7s.

“In the past months, I realized that I was getting girls who were solidly above average and cute. Due to hobbies, dating apps, and a host of other things, I noticed that I got quality, but it was not top tier like I wanted. The closer I approached to an 8, the more I realized that only two things were going to give me opportunities: social circle and cold approach.”

To my surprise, he used this perspective to justify his lack of effort in learning cold approach, calling it a lottery without the opportunity to get a suitable ROI, and that the apps seemed superior to cold approaching as a result. The argument here was that cold approaching is so out of touch with what other people around us do, that you’d have to be completely clueless socially to only use that method to meet women.

Well, then you have my story. I’ve spent the last 6-8 years (depending on perspective) focusing on learning cold approach dating methods – specifically, day game and approaching women in any environment in New York City, especially on the street, in subways, and coffee shops. I’m consistently able to get several phone numbers a day, several dates a week, and theoretically sleep with almost all the women I go on a date with. The numbers at the moment are quite fascinating – I’ll have more to share on this soon.

From my own perspective, the ROI of cold approaching has far exceeded what I have ever achieved through any other method I’ve tried – whether through social circles, dating apps, online dating, and more. In fact, a couple of years ago I relied heavily on dating apps to meet women – and quit because it was making me lazy about learning cold approach to get the girls of quality I truly wanted. Part of this was about finding a system that works well for what I want; the other part has just been about truly following an unconventional idea.

Guys who do pickup and seduction often over-game women; she’s ready to smash, but they keep spitting game. Here are some tips to avoid falling into that trap.

Are you making success with women more complicated than it needs to be?

Most likely you are. I know – because been there, done that.

In seduction, true beauty is found by taking something rough, disorganized, and raw, then whittling it down into its most pure, functional form. You strip away the excess until all that’s left are results. Or, at least, a sharpened tool, or polished art form.

That’s the idea anyway.

Back when I was a noob, there was this cute barista I wanted to bang. I didn’t realize at the time that I could have had her simply by saying “Hey, what are you up to tonight?” Instead, I’d go in there, order a coffee and practice my game on her.

I’d use push-pull, making fun of the way she wiggled her nose when she talked, or how her lips curled upwards when she was annoyed. I’d show her new gambits, like palm reading, or the horsey flowers routine. I’d do everything except pull the trigger and ask her out.

One day she’d had enough. In the middle of one of my jokes, she said, “Tony, why don’t you just get real with me?”

“Just get real.” Uggh. She was right. I’d been over-gaming. Trying way too hard. Practicing rather than seducing.

Taking something incredibly complex and skill-based seems as if it’s natural, easy – even effortless, as if you were born gifted. That’s the law of Sprezzatura. But to get to Sprezzatura, you’ll have to earn it.

It’s the process of earning your skill that leads you through the land of try-hard, where over-gaming rules the experience.

Rather than focusing on hundreds of theories and tactics, focus on maximizing your strengths and minimizing your weaknesses. Simplify your game.

If you’re good on the dance floor, girls will assume you’re also good in bed. Don’t know how to dance? No problem. Classes are also a great place to meet sexy girls!

Women love a man who can dance. Basically, you’re communicating with your bodies. Sounds a lot like sex, right? When on the dance floor, the way you express your body is imperative for attracting women to you. If it looks like you have two left feet, chances are women will think your sex game is also whack.

However, if your dance game is up to spec, it shows her you’ve got rhythm and that your stroke game is above average. If dance is an intimate language and one that many women listen to, why not learn it?

It’s amazing to see what people turn into when the beat drops. First off, understand that the club attracts those who can’t be themselves during the day. Women go to the club to let loose and be gawked at by every breathing man they pass, while men go to the club to hunt. It’s as if the music makes people undergo some sort of transformation, accompanied by courage juice, of course (aka alcohol).

All the ass grabbing, grinding, twerking, and small talk is part of the scene. Unfortunately, some people overdo it when it comes to getting attention, and some don’t know how to handle the attention.

Too many times I have seen men suffer horrible rejections because they couldn’t stop themselves from creeping up on that booty unsuspectingly. Have you ever mustered up the courage to ask a girl to dance, and soon enough realize your infamous two-step just won’t cut it? If you think you’re not a very good dancer, fear not, because there are ways around this.

Looks are important, but even stunners can be unattractive at times. Here are the variables that, if properly addressed, can make practically anyone attractive to women.

Hey, guys.

Last week I shared a post about how “attractive guys” can pick up girls by maximizing the positive effects of their strengths while minimizing the negative effects of their weaknesses.

Today’s post is a follow-up for those guys who may not be considered attractive. However, you are not that worse off. The way you look is not the only factor that determines attractiveness and unattractiveness.

Many factors that define a man’s attractiveness are not static. This means that a good-looking, hot guy, or a high-value guy may at some point be very attractive, only to fade into a huge loser depending on the circumstances (we will get into that). This post is also for guys who are good-looking and perhaps have high social value – because any guy can go from being super hot to unattractive. I will get into why that is, but the quick answer is that hot guys also have down times when their mojo is low.

Because these variables are fluid, there is room for all guys to become more attractive. Let’s discuss these variables first.

Casting directors look for certain traits to fill roles for alluring characters. These same traits happen to be effective for building intrigue and attracting women.

Ever noticed a relationship between performing arts, show business, and getting girls? Sure, we’re all aware that some men in the entertainment industry enjoy lots of success with women. It’s been like this for most of modern history.

Celebrities, rock stars, actors, and leading men in Hollywood have been bedding beautiful women for decades. Passionate fans have been tossing their bras and panties at stages and music festivals for years.

Fame and worldwide recognition are incredibly potent aphrodisiacs. It’s worth mentioning that there’s more than what initially meets the eye when it comes to the nuts and bolts of what makes some of these men attractive and desired by absurd quantities of women than just simply being famous.

It’s called glamour.

Glamour is something distinguishable from fame.

Some famous people and celebrities are glamorous. Others not so much. For example, some actors we’ve seen in movies and TV shows just seem to have a special something. A certain, impressive, je-nais-ce-quoi which distinguishes them from their colleagues and fellow celebrities – even celebrities just as famous as themselves. And it’s not uncommon for a new, glamorous and thus sexually-exciting young actor to appear in a breakout movie or TV show, propelling forward from a position close to obscurity, becoming more and more famous until he’s a household name.

And these celebrities who happen to be both exceedingly glamorous as well as very famous are often regarded as sex symbols in popular culture.

Now, since we’ve established glamour as a quality that exists independent of one’s level of fame, it’s also worth mentioning that glamour and its thrilling effect on the women you meet can equally exist without any fame or recognition. You can become a seducer with an element of glamour.

So no, you don’t really have to be on the cover of a magazine or star in a blockbuster movie to be glamorous. Glamour is a learned quality, and you can definitely develop it, too. After all, there’s a reason why studying the mannerisms, facial expressions, and body language of certain actors and leading men in their movie and TV show seductions is a common practice here on Girls Chase.

Let’s see how these leading men seduce the objects of their desire on screen. Let’s pick apart, learn, and even adopt these attractive and exciting qualities which enable them to go beyond that and even seduce the camera as well as steal the hearts of millions of female fans.

As always, I like to go a step further – so in this article, you’re going to get an inside scoop. I’m going to share specific tips and tweaks I’ve learned from my time in show business – things you can do and add to your repertoire.

Good-looking men face particular challenges in pickup. How do you compensate when a woman acts weird around you or thinks you’re too cocky or out of her league?

Hey guys! Welcome back.

So, my two previous articles have been focused on debunking the idea that looks are the primary factor in success with women.

• Do You Need Good Looks to Get Laid?
• Does Having Good Looks Come with Disadvantages?

I have presented many different arguments for why looks are not that important. I’ve also given examples on how good looks can backfire, referring to the pitfalls and difficulties good-looking guys face.

And I think this was a good subject to cover. It is helpful for not-so-good-looking guys to understand the effects of looks and the place they have in pickup and seduction – and that looks are NOT everything.

The pitfalls good-looking men face is something VERY rarely discussed, and I believe it was a beneficial discussion. Admittedly, however, I have realized that in my last post where I covered the pitfalls and the difficulties good-looking men face, there was more of a pessimistic tone. As a matter of fact, it was far less than optimistic, and at the cost of convincing less-good-looking guys that being is was not always a good thing, I have probably left the good-looking guys feeling bad. The previous posts may in fact have generated negative beliefs about good-looking guys.

The truth is, being good looking has its benefits, but also its pitfalls. And like everything else in pickup, it is all a matter of calibration. If you are good looking, or even more importantly, good looking to her, you must calibrate accordingly.

So, to enjoy these benefits, you will have to know how to play properly, and this is what this post is about. Now, pickup in general is the same for everyone, and you mostly will have to calibrate according to the girl. However, this post can help you adjust your game to who you are.

It’s a misconception that women are not attracted to aggressive men. The truth: women go nuts for aggressive men who show their sexual desire in the right way.

Have you ever noticed how well some guys do with women? If you’re a nice guy, you might see these dudes and wonder what makes them so special, and why women like them so much. Maybe you’ve seen them at nightclubs with a stunner in heels, or maybe you’ve seen your natural friend pull girls over and over again.

The chances are that – even though I’m not talking about one specific man – you can still picture the kind of dominant, masculine, and ultimately aggressive guy that I’m talking about.

A key reason these guys get women is because they show their desire. At a very basic level, any guy who wants a girl must show his desire towards her. A girl may throw indicators of interest and other signals towards a guy, but if he doesn’t show his desire, girls often move on.

There’s another key facet here that separates the average guy from the guy who actually succeeds often. Naturals, players, and men who know how the game works understand that it is actually their aggressiveness that distinguishes them from most men. That aggressiveness – their willingness to take risks with women and go after what they want – draws women into their world.

Aggressive guys get girls more often. If you’re gaming and you want women, you must show the women around you aggressive desire, and go after them aggressively.