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Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

Girls Adore Homoerotic Men

Hector Castillo's picture

homoerotic
Homoerotic humor is a turn-on for women. How far must you take it (and must you be gay yourself) to reap its benefits?

As I recently caught up with a friend over the phone, he told me about a recent break-up with a girl. Apparently, he “accidentally” got into a relationship with her. This girl was quite hot and probably the prize in many a man’s eye. The entire time he told me about how it happened and how it ended, neither of us could stop laughing.

Why?

Because he’s gay.

Like, very, very gay. Nipple-piercings level gay.

You wouldn’t think it when you first met him. He’s a very dominant, tall, and muscular black guy who would give almost any natural or pickup artist I know a good run for his money. His social skills come from a variety of backgrounds. He was a college athlete who grew up and went to school in a very conservative, Southern town in the United States. Being black, he endured some racial tensions that minorities can pretty exclusively call their troubles. He’s had guns pulled on him by cops for no reason and gotten into quite a few fights over the color of his skin.

Experiences like that will toughen you. Moreover, he had to hide the fact that he was gay and play it straight for most of his life. Being black was tough enough where he’s from; if he’d come out of the closet, he would have found himself in a ridiculously difficult situation. So he put up the act, but being removed from genuine pleasure, his adversity was doubled.

Ironically, his emotional distance from his identity made him quite desirable to women. He didn’t want to bang the girls he’d hit on and approached, and he’d often rebuff the advances of women. Not knowing he was gay, these women would wonder why he didn’t want them.

So, they’d chase. They’d chase hard.

Girls waiting for him naked in his room, girls begging for him to impregnate them, groups of girls trying to gangbang him, etc.

He was truly unattainable, even with girlfriends that he eventually took to keep up his act. And even those girls would be left wondering why he didn’t want to have sex with them.

For the women, his standards seemed so high, they couldn’t even see the ceiling. This intrigued them.

So his skills with women grew, even though he didn’t want them to. He learned how to make friends, seduce women, be the center of attention, all while he played in quite a decent athletic league (he was invited by a professional team of his sport to try out for a spot).

Dominant, competitive, socially attuned, friendly, fun…

But still gay.

He eventually did jump out of the closet and move to the city I met him in. We became the closest of friends and would often go out together, either in the straight parts of town or at the homo-hangouts.

And women were always drawn to him, especially when he told them he was gay.

Now, you may be wondering how he got this girlfriend?

He met her through one of his party social circles. She would always flirt with him, but being gay, he never took any of it too seriously. They’d party together and even sleep in the same bed together. Over time, he got the sense that maybe she wanted some of his chocolate. But, he wasn’t too attracted… cuz, well, he likes dick.

Then one night, he got super drunk while out with her. When they returned to his apartment, they jumped into the bed together. While lying there and feeling a bit roused up but without any guys to fulfill himself with, he casually asked her if she wanted to fool around. She excitedly said yes. She then gave him the best head of his life (even better than any other guy, too, allegedly; he told me how ridiculous that is, because guys know what feels good, and therefore give epic blowjobs), and he, surprisingly, got hard. So, he smashed.

Strangely enough, he liked it. They kept smashing. Multiple times a day, multiple times a week.

He told her that this was only a fun, casual thing, because, uh, he’s gay.

She agreed. All in good fun.

Of course, we know how that went, don’t we? He lays the good dick, isn’t emotionally needy in any way, and is having fun? The perfect concoction for cock addiction.

She got hella addicted. She would incessantly text him. They’d hangout all the time. Shag all the time. While out together, she would hold his hand and hang over him like a girlfriend. And once, when he inadvertently – and totally unintentionally – made her feel unloved, she tried to make him jealous by grinding on some other guy (which he found funny because he was more jealous of her grinding on the guy, not the guy for dry humping her).

That’s when he finally realized how far he’d accidentally fallen into a relationship.

He eventually had to cut her off when she pushed for a relationship (and even had to swat off her attempts at reconciliation; e.g., “We can go back to just fucking, that’s fine!”).

Like I said, hilarious. I mean, I feel for the girl, but still funny as hell.

He went back to dudes and realized that he was still definitely gay.

But after hearing this story, I knew I had to finally write this article. Too good of a story.

What I’ll cover here is why women find gay men attractive and how you can apply these traits and homoeroticism in general to your interactions with women… and men. (There was a somewhat relevant article posted way back in the day by a guest poster, Sarah Williams, that everyone hated for no reason at all. It was accurate and insightful. I call bitterness. Hopefully this goes better.)

Note: no, I’m not saying you should consider shagging dudes or becoming bisexual in any way. I’m just going to explain what’s attractive about being flirty with other men (or intimate, if you choose to explore). And yes, while the increased acceptance and quantity of homosexuality in a society has been correlated with looser morals and, eventually, the fall of civilizations, it has been a part of successful and powerful human histories as well. From heroes like King David and Hercules to conquerors like Alexander the Great, male-to-male intimacy has been shown not to diminish one man’s ambition or prowess. Even baller guys like James Dean were suspected of being bisexual. In many societies, homoeroticism (not necessarily speaking of male-to-male penetration) was largely accepted (e.g., Athens, Sparta, etc.) It didn’t stop them from kicking ass on a spectacular scale. That said, I don’t exactly expect the Manosphere-boys to pour through this one without a cringe or two.

So let me clarify: I am not promoting homosexuality (though neither am I condemning it), but I am lauding the seductive power of homoeroticism.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

How to Answer Her When She Asks "Why Do You Want to Date Me?"

Davi Diluna's picture

why do you want to date me?
When a girl asks you why you want to date her… what should you say? You *could* just tell her… But don’t do this if you actually want her.

Once you enter into the dance of gaming girls, you instantly notice the avalanche of tests come rolling down at high speed to crush your lay of the day. Girls with at least some experience will throw them at you. The question in the title is one of those big snowballs that you either avoid like a pro... or suffocate under like a noob.

You’ll especially face this test when you start to go fast with girls and come across as more of a sexual man.

Let’s first talk about the game situations that lead to this question and what it tells you about the girl, then we’ll see the underlying psychology of this question before giving you all the knowledge to answer it in the best possible way.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Her on Touchy Topics

Chase Amante's picture

touchy topics
Women conceal the past. So how do you get the skinny on them on touchy topics… Without them shutting down or blowing up?

A reader named Eric writes in:

Hey, just wondering how do you screen a girl for topics that she might not want to talk about or for things that wouldn’t be in her best interest to tell you like daddy issues or if she has ever cheated in a relationship without coming off as too insecure or too aggressive?

This is a pretty fun topic. How do you get girls to be straight with you on stuff they’d rather not be?

Two days ago, I published “Why Won’t Women Just Say What They Want?”, which is all about women’s tendency toward the vague and ambiguous. This can make it hard to nail a girl down on some topics... Especially the topics she doesn’t want you to nail her down on.

Further, women usually cloak the less marketable parts of their pasts in secrecy (and even go so far as to discourage investigation into their pasts: “Why does it matter?” “The past is irrelevant!”). Men do this too, but the female version of the murky past is the big leagues; men are the J.V. squad of concealment, compared to how women do.

Yet, those parts of her past she doesn’t want you to know about may be exactly the things you need to know about most. In “Why Her Past Matters If You Want Something Serious”, I shared a trio of scientific investigations into women’s age at first sex, their tendencies to sleep with male friends, and their religious service attendance... and how these three things relate to the level of fidelity you can expect from them, on average. And in “How Many Partners Has Your Girlfriend Had? Find Out Here”, I highlight a study that finds a woman’s infidelity risk rises 7% for each additional sex partner she has.

Particularly if you want a long-term relationship with a girl, there’s a good chance you want to know the things she may not want you to. But how do you find these things out, without her lying to you or spiraling into auto-rejection?

Why Won't Women Just Say What They Want?

Chase Amante's picture

women won't say what they want
Women use ambiguity for three (3) reasons: to expose a man’s true colors, to retain room to maneuver, and to preserve their social reputations.

Maybe an hour ago, I finished reviewing a lesson from The Dating Artisan, part of my upcoming master class on succeeding with women. For each of these videos, I have to review once to make sure there’s nothing that snuck in we should edit out (our DoP’s toes sneaking into the frame have been a constant annoyance), as well as to add text and citations I want added. Then I have to review the final video a second time to make sure everything checks out. Each of these videos is around 50 minutes long on average, and there are about 50 of them... so you can imagine why it’s taking me so long (that, and that we still need to build the site / file delivery system / etc. for this thing).

Anyway, at multiple points in this lesson, our actress on the shoot claims she would not like if a guy did something to her I described (in the case I’ll tell you about, it was slapping a naughty girl on the butt). Meanwhile, even as she claims this, she laughs and becomes excited and flirtatious. At one point I highlight this and say, “She’s saying ‘no’, but at some point with a guy she likes, it’s going to be ‘yes’.” If you’re at all good at reading women’s signals, it’s pretty obvious when viewing the clip how the idea affects her. Not only does she get excited in the moment, but her flirting and laughter dial up dramatically after this incident for the rest of the lesson.

If you’re an old pro, you see a situation like this and grin and go, “Yeah... girls!” You love it. It’s fun. It’s a big part of what makes the whole thing exciting.

But if you’re not so good with girls yet, this is likely to be a point of major frustration for you. “Why the living bleeding hell won’t women just say what they want?”

Because sometimes they do.

But other times they don’t.

Sometimes they say exactly what they want. Sometimes they say the opposite of what they want.

How the heck is a guy who’s not good with women yet supposed to decipher all this?

How to Date a Party Girl (If You So Dare)

Hector Castillo's picture

how to date a party girl
Party girls are fun, but can be real handfuls. Want to date one anyway? Here’s everything you need to pull it off… As well as can be expected.

While I was visiting my hometown after a long tour through Europe, I decided to hit up an ex-girlfriend. Since our sex was always great, we stayed friends after multiple breakups... and she was bisexual, so I decided that we should set up a threesome together. We’d done it before and it was hella fun, so why not again?

We spent the next week matching with girls on Tinder and contacting anyone we knew. We had a few YESs, but they fell through for some reason or another. It was around the holidays, so most girls who were down were going to be out of town and wouldn’t get back until after I’d already gotten out of Dodge. I personally had a lot of “I like you but I don’t want to share you” messages. Those were nice.

Eventually, the night came and we decided to go out and find our prey together.

Awesome, right?

We meet up, shag a few times, drink a bit, then head out to the bars. We talk to a few girls and both make out with some (and almost pull), but half way through our second pull attempt, she starts getting super aggressive with the girl. If it was a guy doing it, he’d be considered creepy, but she’s a hot girl, so it’s more funny than anything.

After this scene, I watch her stumble up to random girls and get totally blown out. She comes back to me, defeated.

“That girl totally ignored you, chica.”

“Yeah, she’s a bitch.”

“Haha, oh really? Well guess what – welcome to my world. This is how guys get laid.”

“Yeah, it fucking sucks.”

5 Secrets from The Alabaster Girl

Hector Castillo's picture

alabaster girl
Zan Perrion’s book The Alabaster Girl contains masterful philosophy on women. Here are 5 of its most stand-out points.

There is a beast in this world who walks around in the form of a man.

He doesn’t advertise himself too much, but he has been a constant yet subtle presence ever since the seduction community came out of the basement. This subtlety and grace speaks even more to his level of mastery.

He has been dedicated not to fame, glory, or riches (all of which he deserves), but to his passion: to be the greatest lover of women the world has ever seen.

His name... is Zan Perrion.

And if you navigate the treasure room that is his book, The Alabaster Girl, you will quickly discover that he is in contention for the title he seeks.

When you first encounter the flow of Zan’s prose in The Alabaster Girl, you may think you’ve stumbled upon an 18th century poet’s lost writings.

This is a mistake, and one he addresses in his videos about the book (and if you have trouble understanding his sometimes-cryptic language, especially if you’re still inexperienced, these videos will help clarify his thoughts):

Zan is anything but a hopeless romantic. If you’re experienced with women, you will see how the dark truths of male and female sexuality tinge the edges of each page and fill his flowery prose with rustic realism. He will say something so nonchalantly that if you simply gloss over it, you’ll miss how darkly beautiful it is, and how true.

Or, if you’re familiar with his old mASF forum postings, you will know personally how much of a scoundrel he is (a charge he accepts in the opening pages of his book). Eighty-nine lays in one year, cuckolding Johnny Depp in a nightclub, dating and living with two girls who are best friends... he is no saint, and that’s why he knows women and truly loves them. He embraces both the darkness and the light of the world, both of the masculine and the feminine.

Once you get to the chapter on his early childhood, you will understand. You will know his grit, his darkness, and therefore the true breadth of his light, because of that darkness.

And you will know his deep, abiding love for women. Reading of his longing for women was like reading my own confessions of unconditional love toward women.

I could write an entire book on what I learned from his book, but we’re going limit this post to the first five secrets that resonated with me upon my now third reading.

A Perceptive Man, a Responsive Man, a... Sensitive Man?

Chase Amante's picture

sensitive man
The word ‘sensitive’ has lost it’s old meaning. It now means something weak or womanly. But what it used to be was something so much more.

I think we need to reclaim the word ‘sensitive’.

The word no longer means what it’s supposed to mean.

Somewhere along the line, it grew warped, twisted. Perverted. Now, if you call a man ‘sensitive’, it’s a backhanded compliment, at best. You’re calling him a motherly nurturer. At worst, you’re saying he overreacts, is too emotional, and too womanly.

But it hasn’t always meant this. And in fact, the concept it used to describe – a concept we no longer have a perfect word for in English anymore, if we yield ‘sensitive’ completely to too-soft men and guys who think the friend zone is the surest path to sexy times – is one every man who wants to do well socially, romantically, or sexually must ultimately strive to make use of, or perpetually struggle.

What to Do When She Giggles or Jokes (Hint: Don't Break Tension!)

Alek Rolstad's picture

girl giggles
When a girl giggles or jokes in response to sexual tension, it doesn’t mean she isn’t interested. Instead, it usually means she IS.

In my last post, which was the second part of this series on sexual tension, we discussed how one can create sexual tension by focusing on these elements (simultaneously):

  1. Presence:

    • Using a poker face that doesn’t reveal much – which also creates intrigue and mystery

    • Having a neutral body language

  2. Sexualization (using physical escalation tools and following a ladder):

    • Escalating till we reach the so-called “sweet spot” and stay there in order to allow the tension to unfold and grow bigger and bigger

    • However, the golden rules of calibration still apply

  3. Additionally:

    • Make things mutual

    • Slow the pace down

If you want more details, go ahead and reread part two.

In the comment section beneath part one of this series (where I lay down the “theoretical groundwork”), a reader named Jimbo shared a few concerns:

The thing is that when I turn the tension sexual, whether from silence or not, and the girl breaks the tension by making a joke or something, I just figure she doesn't see me as a potential mate and move on. That mostly happens with acquaintances or girls I've known for a while. But I never thought of reengaging it later on.

Jimbo’s concern is a common one. When he attempts to create sexual tension with a girl, she reacts by making silly remarks, giggling, cracking jokes. This is because she is a bit uncomfortable with the tension. This is a normal thing – most girls you encounter will react this way, some more than others. Occasionally you will be lucky and deal with girls who do not show signs of discomfort whatsoever when building up the tension.

Before I move on, I would like to make it clear that her reaction is not some indirect way of communicating that she doesn’t see Jimbo as a lover. Oftentimes it is quite the opposite… she reacts that way exactly because Jimbo triggers butterflies in her stomach. I hope this post will give clarification to this statement.

I will dedicate this entire post to this subject – maintaining the tension and dealing with discomfort related to sexual tension. I will illustrate this process by covering 3 levels of sexual tension. You will see how going from one level to the next affects the interaction. I will also dedicate a big portion of this post to how one navigates through these levels. The idea is that the “levels” that I am about to cover will help you make sense of what is going on, and the rest of the post will be practical solutions to the issue at hand.

How to Beat Your Girlfriend’s Double Binds

Varoon Rajah's picture

double bind
Girls use double binds on their mates more often than you might realize. But it isn’t always easy to defeat these – and lots of guys try and fail.

It was a wild night. A girlfriend of mine came over after work and we had incredible sex – multiple hard sessions, one over 60 minutes – until early in the weekday morning. “That was sooooo amazing, I loved it!” she said as she fell asleep on me, spent and exhausted. The lights were on, and we didn’t even get up to brush our teeth.

The next morning, we went at it again, and after some cuddling I woke up and began to meditate as usual – my morning routine. My girl got up to shower and get ready as I did this. She had to leave for work before me, so I carried on with my meditation, taking time to achieve the right mind state, beginning what would later be an awesome, productive day.

As I was on the ground, my eyes closed, delving into the depths of my breathing and vision, I heard her come out rustling her clothes and jacket on. I could tell she was about to leave, but I wasn’t done meditating. She circled around me but I paid no attention. After a few minutes, she walked toward the door.

“I’m leaving! Kiss me!” She said aloud hoping to get my attention. She was already by the door. But I was still on the ground meditating.

I wasn’t done, and she was interrupting me.

“I hate you!” she said aloud, noticing that I didn’t acknowledge her.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

She said it again. “I HATE YOU!” She said this with a stern face as I looked at her still sitting on the ground.

I was coming out of my meditative state, and I gave her a blank look, holding eye contact. She frowned a little bit more and looked at me sternly, disappointingly, waiting for me to get up and see her out the door. I held my eye contact, and then turned my blank face into a devilish smile.

She abruptly broke her stern frame, transforming into a most subtle smile, then yelled out again, “I hate you…” more gently and calmly.

We paused, still holding eye contact. Then I blew her a kiss, smiling. She blew me a kiss, her face transformed into a huge smile. She grabbed the door handle, opened it, and left.

I was still sitting on the ground. I closed my eyes again and went right back to my meditation.

She texted me later in the day: “Sorry that I kind of messed up your meditation this morning,” followed by “Although I had a great night last night!”

I passed another Double Bind. One of many I’ve seen with this girl... and with others.