Female Mind | Page 30 | Girls Chase

Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

How to Beat Your Girlfriend’s Double Binds

Varoon Rajah's picture

double bind
Girls use double binds on their mates more often than you might realize. But it isn’t always easy to defeat these – and lots of guys try and fail.

It was a wild night. A girlfriend of mine came over after work and we had incredible sex – multiple hard sessions, one over 60 minutes – until early in the weekday morning. “That was sooooo amazing, I loved it!” she said as she fell asleep on me, spent and exhausted. The lights were on, and we didn’t even get up to brush our teeth.

The next morning, we went at it again, and after some cuddling I woke up and began to meditate as usual – my morning routine. My girl got up to shower and get ready as I did this. She had to leave for work before me, so I carried on with my meditation, taking time to achieve the right mind state, beginning what would later be an awesome, productive day.

As I was on the ground, my eyes closed, delving into the depths of my breathing and vision, I heard her come out rustling her clothes and jacket on. I could tell she was about to leave, but I wasn’t done meditating. She circled around me but I paid no attention. After a few minutes, she walked toward the door.

“I’m leaving! Kiss me!” She said aloud hoping to get my attention. She was already by the door. But I was still on the ground meditating.

I wasn’t done, and she was interrupting me.

“I hate you!” she said aloud, noticing that I didn’t acknowledge her.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

She said it again. “I HATE YOU!” She said this with a stern face as I looked at her still sitting on the ground.

I was coming out of my meditative state, and I gave her a blank look, holding eye contact. She frowned a little bit more and looked at me sternly, disappointingly, waiting for me to get up and see her out the door. I held my eye contact, and then turned my blank face into a devilish smile.

She abruptly broke her stern frame, transforming into a most subtle smile, then yelled out again, “I hate you…” more gently and calmly.

We paused, still holding eye contact. Then I blew her a kiss, smiling. She blew me a kiss, her face transformed into a huge smile. She grabbed the door handle, opened it, and left.

I was still sitting on the ground. I closed my eyes again and went right back to my meditation.

She texted me later in the day: “Sorry that I kind of messed up your meditation this morning,” followed by “Although I had a great night last night!”

I passed another Double Bind. One of many I’ve seen with this girl... and with others.

7 Reasons Why Women Get Into Relationships (6 Bad, 1 Good)

Hector Castillo's picture

why women get into relationships
Women have all kinds of reasons to get into a relationship. Here are the 6 worst reasons… And the 1 best one.

Both men and women are guilty of entering relationships for unhealthy reasons, but today I’m going to talk about some unhealthy reasons women get into relationships – and the only genuinely healthy reason why she should date you.

This article might rub some the wrong way, because you may find that your girlfriend or a girl you’re interested in fits one or more of these “unhealthy” categories.

Two things to say about this:

  1. Firstly, it’s not a death sentence if you date one of these girls. It can actually be very fun and educational. I have a habit of taking dominant, high-sex drive girlfriends (I’m currently dating one), and these women tend to fit into one or more of these categories. Why do I do it? Because it’s a challenge. I usually come out of these relationships tough as hell and with a new paradigm of game that sets me onto a reckless path of pussy destruction (however, I will note that I am becoming a bit unhappy with women like this; the return on the effort you have to put in is quite unbalanced, and I’m probably going to shift more toward conservative, low-partner count women).

  2. Secondly, you’re probably not going to listen to me. I talked to Chase about a girl I’m dating, and after I concluded I’m not ready to make the relationship serious, I suggested that maybe I should have one or two other girlfriends (not casual relationships, but developed relationships). His response went something like “That’s probably what’s best for you, but I’m not going to tell you who to date, because nobody ever listens; people date who they want to date.” I took this as a personal challenge and am going to actively try and find another girlfriend more suitable to my long-term desires, because I’m not interested in anything but the most elite in life. That being said, most won’t do the work it takes to push themselves beyond short-term emotions, and even I have to admit it’s a bit difficult when you do genuinely like and care about a girl (as I do this one).

So, if you find some truth in what I say in this article but choose not to act upon it, I don’t blame you. It’s hard. It’s where even the best pick-up artists in the world (and the most talented naturals) fail.

That being said, let’s get to it. I’ll go over the six (6) unhealthy reasons why women get into relationships, what kind of women usually follow these paths... and then I’ll tell you the most important reason she should get into a relationship with you.

Why It's a Bad Idea to Take Your Girlfriend to Nightclubs

Chase Amante's picture

take girlfriend to nightclub
It’s fun to take your girlfriend to the club. Yet, the negatives (guys hitting on her, her becoming a clubber, unfavorable comparisons) aren’t zero.

There’s a habit among guys who like to frequent nightclubs.

And in fact, sometimes it catches on among guys who aren’t normal nightclub patrons too.

That’s the habit of regularly taking one’s girlfriend out to the club.

It’s a strange phenomenon, when you think about it. Nightclubs are primarily places for single people to go dance, talk, and hook up. They’re sexually charged environments that serve as platforms for mate selection and mate competition. Why would an attached man bring his girlfriend here?

A variety of justifications exist for taking a girlfriend to a nightclub:

  • To inject excitement into the relationship
  • To provide cover for your own clubbing without her
  • To demonstrate how secure you feel in the relationship
  • Because you think she wants or needs this
  • Because you work in a nightclub

This article applies to parties too, to a lesser extent. It’ll apply to lounges, and some dance and popular bars as well, though not as much to dive bars that are more laid back and aren’t meet markets. Anywhere you take a girl with drinking and people hitting on each other a lot falls under the purview of this article, in essence.

If it’s a place people aren’t as sexy and no one’s flirting with or hitting on anyone else, you can safely leave it out of consideration for the purposes of this article.

So today, I’m going to talk to you about why taking your girlfriend to meet markets is bad and why you shouldn’t do it. Or at least, I’m going to give you the downsides to be aware of – that way, should you choose to take girls to these places anyway, you know the risks going in.

Tactics Tuesdays: 2 Techniques that Let You Read Minds

Denton Fisher's picture

read her mind
What if you could read a girl’s mind? It’s possible to get inside anyone’s head – but you’ve got to know the techniques.

It is uncanny how some people seem unnaturally good at getting into your head. They can understand your needs and wants. Know when you are feeling a certain way. And do it as if they possess a weird sixth sense that lends a window into your mind.

Sometimes it makes you wonder if these people are born with a special ability.

But, as cool as that sounds, I do not believe in ESP.

What these so-called mind readers are incorporating – either consciously or subconsciously – is a set of techniques that allow them that extra edge. What are these techniques, and how can you master them?

Through my adolescent years I was caught in a social fog, unable to read people or their feelings, let alone their thoughts. I struggled and grasped at seemingly nothing, trying to find a firm hold on what was going on around me. Interactions with my peers seemed to buzz by me in a flurry, and I just could not keep up no matter how hard I tried.

People utterly baffled me. After several years, amazing mentorships, and loads of experience, I can say now that I am no longer that confused kid. Now a veteran seductionist, I am in the top percentile of social acuity. But it is not because I was born this way. It is because of the tricks and interactions I have accumulated in my five plus years picking up women.

With this learned knowledge and skill, I can cold read someone with 85-90 percent accuracy using what I am about to teach you.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Gauge Her Openness to Teasing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

open to teasing
Some girls love to be teased. But some girls hate it. You find out who is whom (and how to proceed with each) by gauging her openness to teasing, right up front.

Some girls you can tease, flirt with, and bust on until you’re blue in the face, and they’ll love every moment of it.

Other girls, though? Well... not so much. Give her even a light ribbing and her body language turns icy. Try and flirt with her and she just gives you that stony look. You can feel your stomach muscles constrict as she bores holes into you with her eyes.

If you can figure out where on the spectrum a girl lies before you lay your flirtation on thick (or not at all), you can adjust properly.

But if you can’t, you may just find yourself boring the girls who want you to tease... Or sending the girls who can’t handle teasing into a spiral of auto-rejection.

This article is aimed at men who are intermediate with girls and up.

You can still use it as a beginner, but it’ll likely be a little too finesse to remember to do in the heat of the moment. That’s okay, you can circle back here once the game’s slowed down for you.

So how do you know when to start teasing a girl, and when to hold off?

In this article, I’m going to give you the ‘cautious method’ for figuring out how open a girl is to teasing. You won’t always use this, and in fact I don’t always use it too (especially when I’m trying to just ping a girl quickly and see how interested she is, and move on if she isn’t that interested – I’ll go straight to personal teases in that case).

However, if you want to not blow it with a specific girl, or you’re in a captive audience situation (like seated next to her on a bus or airplane, or in a class), this is perfect for not sending girls into auto-rejection by going too far with your teases.

And if she isn’t open to teasing? Don’t worry, I’ve got a solution for you there too.

Let’s dive in.

Book Review: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

Varoon Rajah's picture

Way of the Superior Man
David Deida’s Way of the Superior Man helps men make their peace with the feminine – and truly understand how men and women fit together.

I finished David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man, in about two hours on a United States flight from the east coast to Seattle. It’s a very fast, easy read. And it’s one of the most powerful and influential books I’ve read recently on how to tap into masculine energy and become a penetrative force in our world today.

David has committed his life to teaching and revolutionizing the way men and women grow sexually and spiritually. He teaches unique multi-day workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy. He is known worldwide for his many writings, videos, and audios on a fully-integrated approach to spirituality. His works and workshops are committed to raising an understanding of our human condition through transformative practices and ideas. David addresses spiritual awakening of mind, body, and heart.

Below, I delve into some takeaways from David’s book that I found useful. There are a total of 51 chapters across eight parts – most as short as two pages. Each of these covers an area of the masculine – as opposed to feminine – that can help us grow as men.

Tactics Tuesdays: Never Explain Yourself (to Women)

Chase Amante's picture

explain yourself
“Well, the reason is because…” Lots of guys explain themselves to women. But should you ever explain yourself to her?

Commenting on my article "She’ll Do What She Has to to Get What She Wants", a reader named Mr. Shark notes (emphasis added):

Hello, Chase

I noticed that girls start to ignore me when I explain myself. It kinda bothers me because when I screw up, its like... she is a human, why does not she care where I am coming from? I am sure that it can be done from position of strength just as from position of weakness.

I mean stuff like on Tinder, she asks me what am I looking for there. And I usually look at the girl and based on what I look for *with her*, I answer. And it usually goes downhill. So lately, just today actually, I said "well, I am not exactly looking for a scrabble partner, what about you?" and she sent me this 5 row long text with lots of stuff in it.

Or like, I had a girl in a social circle, it was going well with her over text, just had to ask her out but I wanted to see if she is single first because I did not know so we talked about how she only has one good friend and that its almost as hard to find a good, honest female friend as finding a great guy. And I asked what its like when she already has both. And she replied why do I assume she does. And I let it be there for the day, but then in the evening I sent her some bullshit, precise wording would be "Because that is the positive option, not having that would be negative. And you strikes me as a girl who would rather wait for the right guy rather than to be with a wrong one just to be with someone". And then, we met at campus, it was weird, it shifted to a nice conversation about school basically... kill me. This one I understand why it is bad, but sometimes, it just sucks. You misplan something and she seems bothered and you try to explain where you made the error but she does not care. All she cares about was the outcome and that I screwed up. And I guess the only option is to accept women are this way and simply not explain myself to them.

Cheers

There are a lot of important realizations in this comment from Mr. Shark - I'll list them out:

  • As you explain yourself, a girl gets bored with and ignores you
  • She does not care about your (logical) explanations
  • If you swap out explaining with flirting, she'll get interested
  • She doesn't care about your reasons, only the outcome

Thus, the lesson of today's article is this:

Never, ever explain yourself to women.

At least not in a logical, boring, factual (or defensive) way.

Now, let me explain.

How to Get Comfortable with Female Sexuality

Chase Amante's picture

female sexuality
One of the big struggles for men who are waking up on women is getting comfortable with female sexuality. How do you do it?

One of the more challenging mental hurdles for the active dater can be overcoming his feelings about female sexuality. This is most true for men who’ve grown up bombarded with messages about female purity, chastity, and the like.

Even in our present society, with ‘slut walks’, Femen, rape culture, and Sex and the City, men still grow up confused with female sexuality. On the one hand, men are told women have the right to sexual liberation without judgment from men. On the other hand, if a man talks to any individual woman and broaches the subject of sexuality, she’ll often react with disgust and offense and tell him no, of course she doesn’t do that or isn’t into this.

This leads lots of men to an, ”Oh, that’s just TV,” mentality, where women behave sexually liberal on TV and in the movies, yet sexually chaste in real life.

Some part of most guys knows that there’s some kind of deception going on here; either the TV is lying and women are all chaste angels, or women themselves are lying and they’re not (and he just isn’t in on the action).

Yet a guy can go his whole life without ever pulling the tarp back on this sexual misdirection... Until he starts to succeed more with girls.

And then, everything changes.

13 Things Inexperienced Girls Do that Men Mistake for Sluttiness

Chase Amante's picture

inexperienced girls
No one’s dating instincts are perfect. Sometimes you’ll think a girl is slutty when the truth is inexperience makes her act too direct.

You don’t realize it until you’re quite experienced with girls, but your instincts – especially as a beginner – don’t always give you the most reliable information.

You see this with a lot of inexperienced men, who end up dating very experienced women, convinced of these girls inexperience and chastity (check out my article on how to gauge a girl’s partner count if you want a better handle on this). Yet the opposite happens too: inexperienced men often write off inexperienced women because they misread these girls’ inexperience as confident experience. Even men who are pretty good with girls often misread these signals.

Today, I’m going to show you 13 things inexperienced women do that cause men to incorrectly assume they are more experienced with men than they are.

There’s a theme running through these 13 things, you might notice. That theme is this: more experienced girls create mystery, build anticipation, and embody a feminine air. Less experienced girls are usually blunt, raw, and over-direct.

Put another way, the more experienced a girl becomes with men, the better able she is to trigger within men the emotions men most enjoy from women. The less experienced she is, the worse she is at this.

Note that none of these are absolutes. There are experienced women who do these things too. However, if you see a girl do two or three or four of these things, you can feel be confident she’s likely inexperienced with men.

That in mind, let’s peel back these 13 things and change how you look at the women you meet.

Deep Down, Do Women Long for True Love Most of All?

Chase Amante's picture

women true love
Love seems like the ultimate female obsession. But do girls actually desire love as much as it seems? The answer is “It depends.”

In my article on dating mistakes, a reader asks about women and love:

What about girls & wanting to fall in love? I think most women deep down want “true love”, aka to find a sexy, awesome guy who they fall in love w/ (w/ the great sex, & intrigue, mystery & all that).

Love being a strong connection, caring for & bonding, etc. Also society paints it as wife-husband but whatever the label, the concept’s the same: to fall in love w/ an awesome guy & for it to last is what most women want at the core – What do you think of that theory?

If you watch a lot of cinema, you’re likely quick to answer, “Of course!”

Love – it makes the world go ‘round. All you need is love. And all the other slogans like that.

And love is a wonderful thing. It’s a great emotion. It’s an important one, too.

But is it, in the innermost hearts of womankind, truly what the fairer sex seeks?

As you likely know by now, if you’re hoping for the Hollywood party line, this isn’t the site for that. However, before I give you a straight answer, I’d like to explore a little of the science on love with you.

And then we’ll talk about how important it really is to women.