Female Mind | Page 26 | Girls Chase

Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

How to Take Care of a Girl's Appearance on Approaches & Dates

Chase Amante's picture

girl's appearance on dates
Women care about their appearances more than most men realize. Yet once you know it, you can run better dates and approaches.

In his article on approaching girls in a high energy vs. low energy state, Alek mentioned women’s tendency to put weight on how others make them look in-venue. I thought this was a great topic, and one we haven’t talked about as much as we should have. So today’s article takes that topic and explores it further.

So let’s talk about the importance women place on appearances... both how they look themselves, and how the people and environments they’re associated with make them look.

Different women place different amounts of importance on appearances. Yet everyone values appearances to one extent or another... if not always to the same degrees, or along the same dimensions.

By the end of this article, I hope you will have a better, more intuitive grasp of the importance women put on appearances. And not to worry – we’ll talk below about why this grasp is helpful to your efforts to meet, bed, and date the women you want to do that with, too.

The "How Easy is She?" Post-Sex Dance

Chase Amante's picture

how easy is she
After sex with a new girl, the real exploration begins. How easy is this girl, anyway? But you’re not the only one with an agenda.

Women are like little detectives. They’re always sleuthing around, poking, prodding, testing, to find out the truth. What is the truth with this man? Who is he really? Is he actually the man he says he is? How does he actually feel about her? Has he changed? Have his feelings toward her changed?

Men, you may have noticed, are far less inquisitive. They figure they’ve got a bead on you, and from that point on they pretty much lose all interest in any further investigations. “Okay, I’ve got her figured out,” a guy says. And then it’s settled; he knows who this chick is. Men do this about women they date and sleep with, but they also do it with their male friends, with their bosses and colleagues, with their business partners, and the like. Once they have somebody figured out, he’s figured out. Any other details they might turn up are likely to be irrelevant.

Today we’re going to talk about a male-female interaction pattern that springs from this dichotomy: the “how easy is she?” post-sex dance.

This is a dance that takes place from immediately after the first time a guy and girl have sex, up to about the point where a woman converts to a regular sex partner of the guy’s. During this dance, the male tries to find out how easy to sleep with a female is, and the female tries to convince the male she’s not that easy.

It’s a fun little game, and a lot more cooperative than you might think, because the two often have similar agendas: the man wants to believe his woman is not that easy, and his woman is happy to help him conclude exactly this.

Hot/Crazy Girls are Easier than Hot/Sane Girls

Chase Amante's picture

crazy girls are easy
Why do guys so often end up with hot-but-crazy girls as their breakthrough girlfriends? Due to the hot/crazy discount.

Over my years in the dating niche, I’ve become aware of an interesting trend. Inexperienced men, time and again, after slaving away to do better with girls, end up with gorgeous-yet-crazy women. And often get quite attached to them, until they have a dramatic breakup at some point.

I’ve seen it happen again and again. It happened to me as well. Much of the time, it seems to be unavoidable: the less experienced guy finally ends up with this girl who is just so hot... but also, well, a little nuts.

Sure, there are experienced men who date crazy girls too. Some guys have certain issues that lead them to end up with crazy chicks time and again. Or sometimes you meet a ‘stealth crazy’ who was extra good at hiding the bats in her belfry (though you’ll still catch her fast if you know what to look for). But by and large, the “I’m dating this girl and she is so hot... but she’s also crazy” phenomenon is one you see primarily among a.) less experienced daters, and, to a somewhat lesser extent, b.) intermediate daters.

But here’s the interesting part of the pattern: the hot/crazy girlfriend is often a breakthrough girlfriend for a guy... she’s the first girl in her looks class a guy has managed to bed, let alone get into a relationship. After a guy breaks up with a hot/crazy girlfriend, he’ll typically go on to date similarly attractive women to his ex, except that these next girlfriends are sane (or saner, in any event).

Why should this be so? Why are hot/crazy girls so often the gateway drug to the hot girl castle?

Because hot/crazy girls are easier to have sex with and date than hot/sane girls.

Are Women Chronic Liars?

Hector Castillo's picture

women chronic liars
Women and lying go together like ice cream and sprinkles. But do women chronically lie? Can they not tell the truth – or do they do so strategically?

“I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” – Doesn’t come back.

“I’ll let you know when I’m free.” – Never texts you.

“I will love you forever.” – Dumps you a week later.

“I hate liars.” – Lies.

When a man faces these blatant contradictions hundreds, if not thousands, of times in his life, he will inevitably ask himself a question.

“Are all women liars?”

You would really hate if I gave a response of “Yes and no,” wouldn’t you?

Don’t worry. I won’t. Here’s the bottom line.

Yes, women lie. A lot. The majority of the time. Except only when viewed from a male perspective of truth.

See what I did there? I lied. I said I wouldn’t give you a “yes and no” answer, and I did. But it had value to it. I used it as a literary technique. I think it’s funny (maybe you don’t). But there was a purpose behind it.

Same with women. They lie with a purpose. They also lie by omission. These are their two fundamental modes of truth manipulation.

First, however, let’s go into how women view truth itself.

Who Controls Your Woman, the Environment or You?

Chase Amante's picture

control your woman
Everything in a woman’s life wields some degree of control over her. The big question is, do you control your woman – or yield control to others?

College tells her feminism
Is what she must embrace.
Her boss says that it is “career”
What wins in the workplace.
Nightlife tells her status
While friends tell her “fun” too.
So who controls your woman
The environment, or you?

At some point, you will find yourself with a girl you like, and decide you want to hang onto her a while. You may not want to keep her forever. You might want a short relationship. Or perhaps you do want her forever.

The man sets the pace and trajectory of the relationship. The woman agrees with his direction and submits to it, or she will disagrees and rebels. If she rebels, she does so to force change to the pace and trajectory of the relationship, not to destroy the relationship or take control herself.

You won’t have women tell you, “We’re doing it my way now.” Well, not usually. Instead, she acts up, pressures you, whines, pouts, complains, and does everything she can to get you to change. She does not want to lead. She wants to influence the leader. Influencing, rather than directly leading, is how women control.

We talk about control in this article. Not control in the sense of unwilling control. Nothing here we’ll discuss will be anything against anyone’s will. The kind of control we will discuss here is leadership, influence, attraction, seduction, security, comfort, and power. It is about who wields the greater control over the mind of an individual. Will it be you, her partner? Or will it be the many other forces in the environment that wish her to do as they will – and not as you do?

"I Hate You" and Other Fiesty Behaviors

Varoon Rajah's picture

I hate you
When a woman tells you she hates you, it’s not a bad sign. And when you trigger behavior like this, you know you’re doing something right.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you so much.”

I first began to hear this frequently when I started to play around with non-monogamy back in the beginning of 2015. I had just ended my last (to date) monogamous relationship and entered into a FWB arrangement with a total nymphomaniac. Details aside, she loved my cock and was totally devoted to me for the next six months. However, once in a while, we’d be hanging out and she’d stare me down with dark eyes and a frowning face, and say “I hate you” to me. Multiple times. At the time, I was speechless, and my typical response was just “...okay,” and then we’d get back to what we were doing.

Fast forward to 2017 – I’ve been running non-monogamous relationships for two and a half years. Having acquired a ton of knowledge since then, I’m actually a bit surprised when I don’t hear this. Instead, I hear this or some form of it – either verbally or non verbally – with every single girl I’m seeing.

  • “I hate you,” said directly to my face, multiple times

  • Passive-aggressive style non-verbal behaviors – like a girl inviting me over to hang out but then giving me a silent treatment of sorts, being intentionally distant while I’m with her; this includes refusing to kiss or have sex (at first) but still hanging out

  • Neediness from women about wanting to know exactly where she stands, expressed directly or indirectly – a girl will openly seek information (through indirect frames) about how I feel about her and whether or not I’m seeing other girls (and how I feel about them)

  • A girl suddenly changing her behavior to be extra nice, sweet, and affectionate toward me – this includes randomly volunteering massages or taking me out to dinner to a swanky place on her tab

Quite frequently, these behaviors continue long after a girl introduces these behaviors – especially well after we’ve had the relationship talk and I have told her that I will not commit to an exclusive relationship.

In fact, one girlfriend tells me “I hate you” literally every thirty minutes, if not more often, every time I see her, and she also texts me this on Snapchat from time to time. Her voice is always stern, her face frowning, and she’s very in my face about it.

“I hate you so much.”

Tactics Tuesdays: When It's Okay to Flip-Flop Around Girls

Chase Amante's picture

okay to flip-flop
Maybe you think you should never flip-flop. But flip-flopping has a time and place. Here’s how to use it well with women and on dates.

One of the major conversation topics we discuss on Girls Chase is frame control. If you’re unfamiliar with frame control, I have a trio of articles here that will serve as a decent introduction:

The essence of frame control is that you know what you stand for and you stick to your guns. If we can say this of a man, we can say he has a strong frame. Strong frames are attractive; they suck other people in and cause them to see the world as the frame-holder sees it.

Frame control is particularly important in dating. Women will test you and challenge you as they seek to find out what kind of man you really are. A great frame allows you to sidestep these tests, ace them, and beat them.

However, sometimes you may need to change your position. You may be better served by doing something else or adopting another stance that contradicts what you said or did earlier. Flexibility is vital to your dating success. If you’re too rigid about “I have to always be 100% consistent with what I said or did before”, you will pass up a lot of potential success with girls.

Today’s article takes a look at when it’s okay to contradict yourself or flip-flop with women – and how to deal with the tests that sometimes follow.

How Slutty is She? 7 Ways to Gauge Her Sluttiness

Hector Castillo's picture

how slutty is she
Girls won’t just out and tell you when they’re sluts. You need to do some digging. Yet different kinds of sluttiness shows up in different ways...

“I’m curious, how many guys have you slept with?”

“Well, when I went on vacation to Central America, I had a bit of fun.”

That explains why she’s on a date with me. She likes Latinos.

“What’s the number, then?” I look at her carefully but without looking overly interrogative.

“Umm, I’d say like 8? Maybe a few more.”

Maybe a few more.

A few minutes later, I tell her to come over to my house. She asks what we’re going to do.

“To watch a movie.”

My shit-eating grin gave me away.

“Ohhhh, nonono. A movie? Yeah, right.”

I laugh.

“It’s fine. If you don’t want to fuck, we don’t have to.” I respond calmly.

“Okay, I’ll come over, but we’re not fucking.”

The Mirror

Alek Rolstad's picture

mirror sexuality
With the Mirror Gambit, you hold a mirror up to a woman’s sexual side... and suck her into her sexual self.

Previously, we discussed how pacing can help you crack her shield and build rapport and connection while positioning yourself as an authority figure in her reality – a guy who truly understands what it’s like to be her. The idea with pacing a girl’s reality is that it becomes much easier to lead her in the direction you desire – to bed.

This is what one refers to as pacing and leading. We covered pacing in the previous post, so now you guys may be asking: how about leading? What does “leading” really mean in this context? Leading is basically anything that can lead her from point A (where she is currently) to Z (where you want her), physically or emotionally. In other words, leading can involve isolation, extraction, verbal escalation (sex talk), non-verbal escalation (eye contact, touching), etc.

Basically, once you have paced her, she will be softened up and open for you to take the lead – which is the second step.

Today I want to show you a way to use pacing and leading – with the most focus on pacing, because I find that to be the most interesting aspect here (there are many existing posts on “leading” material, and at the end of the day, physical escalation remains one of the most powerful “leading” tools in seduction).

So, like my previous posts, I will here share a gambit you can use in your seductions or as inspiration to create something of your own. It can, like always, help you see how you can construct some juicy material. As usual, this gambit will be filled with other goodies that will have an impact on the receiver – and of course we will break it all down.

This routine/gambit comes up in my Night Game podcast with Varoon Rajah when I share one of my adventures. So check that podcast out if you want to see this exact gambit being used (and how I followed up) and get some ideas of the context in which you can use it.

21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar

Chase Amante's picture

signs she's psycho
How do you know a girl is crazy, and best avoided when you meet her at the bar? Look for these 21 signs... and keep your distance!

Talking about my article “8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should Stay Away From”, reader SZ comments:

I read the how to tell if a chicks crazy article, but it looks like if you kind of know her already, so if it’s a same night lay or a fast lay, no way to tell.

How can you tell a chick will be a problem from the first interaction, so you know she’s crazy right off the bat? How do you tell upfront ?

Good question. How do you know right away... when you meet her on the street, in a party, or at a bar? How do you know if she’s a potential danger to you? How can you identify the psychos – so you can weed them out?

As fun and liberating as hookup culture may be, there are plenty of folks who are off their rockers – and if you go out enough, you will meet them. Psycho men you need to avoid to stay out of fights. Psycho women you need to avoid for that reason... and for many more reasons. Psycho women may:

  • Manipulate you into fighting another man – psycho chicks often like to see men battle each other for their hands

  • Stalk you and harass you after sex – if you’ve never had a female stalker, you might think, “Eh, how bad can that be?” If you have had a female stalker though, you know it’s both kinda scary (you don’t have to be a big, burly man to sneak up on someone and plunge a knife in their throat; petite women can do this too), and it cramps your style in a major way (try keeping a high quality girlfriend while some psycho chick hounds you everywhere and contacts any woman she sees interacting with you to tell her made-up things to try and scare her off)

  • Slap you with a false rape accusationbetween 45% and 55% of men accused of rape are falsely accused by women; it’s an enormous problem in the West, and nobody talks about it (or is allowed to). While the odds are good her story will fall apart under police interrogation, and you will win the case, that won’t stop you from losing $10,000 to $100,000 on attorney and court fees, getting suspended or expelled from school, getting suspended or fired from work, and losing some or most of your friends. You don’t even need to have penetrative sex to get hit with an FRA; men who’ve no more than fingered a girl get hit with these, and sometimes a guy who’s never even touched a girl will get FRA’d

  • Just generally be an un-fun time – even if she’s not psycho enough to sick some meathead on you, follow you around and scare off other girls you date, or file a false police report claiming you raped her, psycho chicks are a lot of drama and can lead to some really draining nights out. Random crying fits, accusations followed by apologies, jealousy plotlines where she makes out with other men in front of you then gets angry if you try to leave, pulling you along somewhere you don’t want to go and then ditching you when you get there... these are just a few of the things I’ve seen psycho women do in nightlife

Caveat for the people who take things completely literally at all times: I’m using the term ‘psycho’ here in the colloquial sense of the word. I’m not focused on the clinical definition of psychosis. Though you’ll encounter some of that among women who exhibit these signs too. Instead, we are talking about crazy, nutty, outré behavior from broken people.

There is no reason to tolerate psychotic behavior from a woman. Unless you’re wildly desperate. Then I guess you may not be able to help yourself. But I hope if you’re someone who’s read this site for a little while, you are not wildly desperate.

Otherwise, there are so many normal women out there, who are just as hot (usually hotter) than the psycho chicks, and will not ruin or seriously monkey up your life. You want to find these girls (the normal ones), and screen out the crazies.

To help you do so, I’ve prepared a list of 21 signs to keep your eyes peeled for when you hit the bar, the lounge, the nightclub, the party, or the street at night, to make sure you don’t end up with a girl who’ll sour you on dating.