Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

What to Do When She Gets Back in Touch


Was chatting with J.J. yesterday about girls contacting you out of the blue with a, “Hey, what’s up! How are you? We should get drinks/coffee and catch up!” message, and what this means / the right way to play it.

gets back in touch

These contacts – whether by text, phone, social media, email, or what have you – out of the blue always seem exciting; they’re like free dates (or even a free hook up, if you’re imagining far enough ahead).

You get them and it’s, “All right! Score! This girl wants me bad!

And then... much of the time after you reply, you never end up meeting her.

All that initial enthusiasm she had to reconnect with you simply dies down and peters out.

That might seem irritating, or mysterious, or downright vexing to you – “Who can understand a woman?” you might say.

But it all has to do with those little things called ‘intrigue’ and ‘investment’, and what happens when you have too little of them – or, how things play out when you have enough.

Girls Chase Podcast Interviews Ep. 2: Franco


Welcome to Episode 2 of the Girls Chase Podcast, with Varoon Raja.

Make Her Feel Like a Woman


Have you ever had a night out with a girl that really made you feel like a man?

If you are anything like me, it made you feel like you could conquer mountains. All the amazing things about being a man are amplified tenfold when a woman helps you remember that you ARE indeed a man. It is an intoxicating mix of sensations that helps you notice the contrasts of life that at other times blur together, and it releases all that dopamine and those feel-good hormones that make you feel like you have purpose.

You appreciate the fact that you are a man, and it rouses a deep sense of pride in you.

Make Her Feel Like a Woman

Having her on your arm, laughing, smiling and trusting, you strengthen your sense of self like nothing else.

Now imagine that all these effects also happen to a woman when you help her to feel like one. On a scale of one to ten, how likely do you think it is she will give you her number, a date, a kiss, follow you in a sexual relationship? Will she hold up limitless resistance and string you along? Forget about it! She would not waste an OUNCE of that perfect feeling. She will want to breathe you in and be intoxicated by this world of womanhood you have allowed her to enter, and she will be grateful.

Women are truly beautiful creatures, and this is never more apparent than when you are a man who can make a girl come ALIVE into her womanly whiles.

Every Girl Has a Type – Are You Hers… or Aren’t You?


are you her typeIn “The Ultimate Guide on How to Get a Girl Back”, Danny writes:

This really rings true right now, I have been flirting with a girl for a few months, getting to know her and building quite a bit of chemistry. She works at a coffee shop I go to work on my computer. She had a boyfriend at the time, we met, who was shitty, manipulative and distant. We talked a lot and as soon as they broke up we said we should hang out, texted and flirted a lot more than previously, but she was always aloof about hanging out. In an attempt to show here I was not the kind of shitty guy she had been dating, I told her outright how I feel, that Im not the kind of guy to play games, or try and play the field, and she has been pulling back more. It seems like I came on to strong, and now she feels either disinterested or like she can have fun and Ill just sit there and wait.

In our last conversation, which did not go great (she didnt get mad, just wasnt as forward as normal) we actually talked frankly, said we were both interested in each other, but then she brought up just getting out of a relationship, always hanging out with friends etc. so, expressing both interest and disinterest at the same time

would be interested to hear thoughts.

That’s a crummy place to be in. Really no fun.

However, the scenario is amazingly common: you see a girl dating a guy that you know is just all wrong for her.

She complains about him, she hates him, she despises him. She breaks up with him, gets back together with him, then breaks back up with him again.

And a light bulb goes off: if you can just show her you’re different from him, she’ll be yours.

As soon as she realizes that you’re nicer, or cooler, or more considerate, or even sexier, this girl will jump from his branch to your branch.

Then you try it, and... it doesn’t work. She doesn’t get together with you.

You tear your hair out in frustration, but it doesn’t help. In the end, she starts dating another guy just like her ex, and your mind is blown. Doesn’t she realize he’s EXACTLY like that guy she just left whom she hates so much?

The reason this occurs is simpler than you might think, though: it isn’t because some mysterious force intervened, or the “timing wasn’t right”, or any of the myriad other reasons a girl will give you herself.

The simple fact is that she has a type... and you aren’t it.

The Trouble with Mega Clubs


One of the first places guys seem to go when they decide they are going to really knuckle down and get good at night game is to the local mega club.

These places beckon like the meccas of pickup: the hottest girls, the wildest crowds, the biggest DJs, the coolest atmospheres. They’re virtual smorgasbords of women dressed to the nines just waiting for the right man to come along and sweep them off their feet. And if you’re a guy with any social status in the nightlife scene at all, you have to be here.

pick up mega club

In most of the cities I’ve traveled to and lived in, these tend to be the places where most of the guys who are looking to pick up girls head to. And most of the guys you ask about venues will point you their way:

You: Where should I head to if I want to meet a girl tonight?

Guy: To XYZ Mega Club, of course!

Yet, there’s a problem you will notice if you spend enough time in these places.

That problem is that they are absolutely brutal venues to meet women in, and you will almost always fail – and quite miserably, at that.

The “Nice Guy” Problem: Negotiating from a Position of Weakness


I was just browsing a website where I came across young, sexually inexperienced men lecturing other men on how “lucky” they were to have a girl to wake up next to, and how, if they were in those men’s shoes, they would basically walk on water for such girls and do anything the girl could possibly want or ask... if they could get them.

In response, the men who actually got laid and had girlfriends laughed at them and responded with things along the lines of, “And that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

In business, you find it’s of vital importance to be aware of the relative strength (or weakness) of your position walking into a negotiation – any negotiation.

Ideally, you’ll walk into a negotiation where both parties are negotiating from strong positions – you are strong, and the other party is strong. In this case, you stand the best chance at having a fair outcome for both parties (a win-win) because neither side will compromise on things that are important to them.

Also possible – but far less likely – are negotiations where both parties are weak. These will also tend to be “fair” negotiations, as they are alliances of convenience; however, they don’t happen so much because everyone wants to ally himself with someone strong, and this is especially true for the weak.

Lastly, you will encounter negotiations that are weak-strong (or strong-weak), where one party negotiates from a position of relative weakness, and the other negotiates from a position of relative strength. These negotiations tend toward being extraordinarily one-sided in their outcomes the vast majority of the time – they are net value transfers from the weak party to the strong party.

That’s because the weak party inevitably compromises far too much – he knows he has little to offer, and doesn’t know when he’ll get another shot at a deal with a stronger party, so he becomes willing to trade anything simply just to keep the stronger party around and, hopefully, give himself the chance to “prove himself” to said stronger party as someone worthy getting access to even the littlest piece of value back.

Yet these dynamics are not unique to business – they happen with people, too. And the easiest place to see them in action? “Nice guys” trying to get dates and girlfriends.

How to Avoid Being a “Nice Guy”


In both the seduction community and the Manosphere, the term “beta male” is the diametrical opposite of the “alpha male”. He is also a contagious meme in the popular culture, but he is, contrary to the “alpha male”, usually referred to by folk terminology.

He is known as a “nice guy”.

avoid being a nice guy

As discussed in the previous article about “alpha male” and “sigma male” strategies, the term “beta male” is used in an imprecise way in the seduction community and the Manosphere, and I will thus not use it in the rest of this article. However, the almost synonymous concept of a “nice guy” is used in a rather consistent sense in contemporary society and it thus makes sense to discuss what characterizes him.

While there is much advice around on how socially dominant men behave and how to become more socially dominant, there is the problem that the advice usually only attempts to fix superficial behavior patterns of such “nice guys” and does not treat the underlying psychological conditionings that created the “nice guy” in the first place.

This is problematic because it causes incongruence, usually in the form of dominant behavior patterns that are in conflict with the underlying “nice guy” belief system.

There is also an incongruence problem in that a player lifestyle will generate reference experiences that are often deemed as negative in the “nice guy’s” belief system. This article will discuss how the “nice guy” has been conditioned and how the “nice guy” can recondition himself on multiple levels in order to become more socially successful. But first we will discuss why all these “nice guys” are around in the first place.

Why Do Girls Have Gay Friends?


Note from Chase: this is a guest post from Sarah Williams of Wingman Magazine. In this article, Sarah shares the features in gay men that women find so alluring, and why women keep gay men in their lives and around them. If you haven’t spent much time in gay bars, you might be surprised how cute and sexually available the women who hang around gay men can be; if you’d like a peephole into why this is, this article’s a solid primer on the subject. Take it away, Sarah.


Imagine the scene: a bar, a pretty girl or even a group of good looking girls, all hanging out with just one guy in their circle. He doesn’t seem to be a Dan Bilzerian playboy type either. He’s just their friend, laughing and having a great time with all of them. This lucky guy is simply surrounded by hot females, who all get along very well with him, instead of hanging out with a bunch of dudes talking about football. He doesn’t seem to be doing anything special, but the most beautiful chicks stick to him like bees to a honeycomb... They all have so much fun together!  He treats the presence of beautiful girls around him as a naturally comfortable situation. Why couldn’t that be you who so easily enters and enjoys a group of beautiful girls without being completely awkward?

girls like gay guys

There is one major different between you and him – you’re not gay.

You’ve probably seen at least one pretty girl or even a group of pretty girls laughing and having fun with a gay guy. I personally love to hang out with gay guys even though I’m looking for straight men. As a single woman who lives in a big city, I have quite a bit of choice with whom I hang out with. I love going out with my girlfriends, and I’m friends with guys both at work and outside of work, but most of my very best male friends are gay!  And I’m definitely not the only female who appreciates their company…

What makes gay guys so special that women love to hang out with them?  What makes so many females choose gay guys as their best friends?

The answer is more complex than just sexual orientation. It touches on certain common characteristics and typical behaviors gay guys display towards women. When it comes to conquering women’s hearts, straight guys could learn a lot from gay guys.

Quit Trying to Win Over Your Girlfriend


win over your girlfriendI covered one side of the "your responsibilities in your relationship" spectrum in "A Failed Relationship is a Failure of Leadership."

Now let’s talk about the other side.

I see a lot of men busting their behinds to keep their girlfriends happy, entranced, and entertained, to the point where they seem to be treating their relationships like a full time job – in addition to whatever else they do during the day when they’re not with their girlfriends.

These men are all too aware that keeping their woman happy and their relationship strong is their responsibility, yet they go about doing it in taxing and inefficient ways.

In fact, some of the men who pour gargantuan amounts of energy into keeping their women happy still fail the leadership test, because leading your relationship is not about immersing your partner in non-stop stimulation to keep her distracted, sated, and engaged.

And if you are doing this, you are doing it wrong – not to mention needlessly expending barrels of energy you could be using for something more productive than trying to win over a girlfriend again and again who probably would respect you more if you didn’t.

Downplay Her Interest and Really Make Her Want You


I’m writing this in the same vein as “Be Intriguing. Be Memorable.” in the hopes of encouraging you to keep your core approach to women simple. This article is about how we need to allow a girl space to show interest without overreacting.

By not trying to take advantage of every opportunity and spring into motion the moment she shows a flash of interest, we not only communicate a lack of desperation but we give a girl the space she needs to expand on her already present good feelings naturally (without effort or thought).

downplay interest

If you give her space to feel her attraction, then the seeds you plant, no matter how small, will come across clearly. A clear and simple approach allows precision, consistency, adaption, and also abides by the Law of Least Effort.

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