Female Mind | Girls Chase

Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

Tactics Tuesdays: When It's Okay to Flip-Flop Around Girls

okay to flip-flop
Maybe you think you should never flip-flop. But flip-flopping has a time and place. Here’s how to use it well with women and on dates.

One of the major conversation topics we discuss on Girls Chase is frame control. If you’re unfamiliar with frame control, I have a trio of articles here that will serve as a decent introduction:

The essence of frame control is that you know what you stand for and you stick to your guns. If we can say this of a man, we can say he has a strong frame. Strong frames are attractive; they suck other people in and cause them to see the world as the frame-holder sees it.

Frame control is particularly important in dating. Women will test you and challenge you as they seek to find out what kind of man you really are. A great frame allows you to sidestep these tests, ace them, and beat them.

However, sometimes you may need to change your position. You may be better served by doing something else or adopting another stance that contradicts what you said or did earlier. Flexibility is vital to your dating success. If you’re too rigid about “I have to always be 100% consistent with what I said or did before”, you will pass up a lot of potential success with girls.

Today’s article takes a look at when it’s okay to contradict yourself or flip-flop with women – and how to deal with the tests that sometimes follow.

How Slutty is She? 7 Ways to Gauge Her Sluttiness

how slutty is she
Girls won’t just out and tell you when they’re sluts. You need to do some digging. Yet different kinds of sluttiness shows up in different ways...

“I’m curious, how many guys have you slept with?”

“Well, when I went on vacation to Central America, I had a bit of fun.”

That explains why she’s on a date with me. She likes Latinos.

“What’s the number, then?” I look at her carefully but without looking overly interrogative.

“Umm, I’d say like 8? Maybe a few more.”

Maybe a few more.

A few minutes later, I tell her to come over to my house. She asks what we’re going to do.

“To watch a movie.”

My shit-eating grin gave me away.

“Ohhhh, nonono. A movie? Yeah, right.”

I laugh.

“It’s fine. If you don’t want to fuck, we don’t have to.” I respond calmly.

“Okay, I’ll come over, but we’re not fucking.”

The Mirror

mirror sexuality
With the Mirror Gambit, you hold a mirror up to a woman’s sexual side... and suck her into her sexual self.

Previously, we discussed how pacing can help you crack her shield and build rapport and connection while positioning yourself as an authority figure in her reality – a guy who truly understands what it’s like to be her. The idea with pacing a girl’s reality is that it becomes much easier to lead her in the direction you desire – to bed.

This is what one refers to as pacing and leading. We covered pacing in the previous post, so now you guys may be asking: how about leading? What does “leading” really mean in this context? Leading is basically anything that can lead her from point A (where she is currently) to Z (where you want her), physically or emotionally. In other words, leading can involve isolation, extraction, verbal escalation (sex talk), non-verbal escalation (eye contact, touching), etc.

Basically, once you have paced her, she will be softened up and open for you to take the lead – which is the second step.

Today I want to show you a way to use pacing and leading – with the most focus on pacing, because I find that to be the most interesting aspect here (there are many existing posts on “leading” material, and at the end of the day, physical escalation remains one of the most powerful “leading” tools in seduction).

So, like my previous posts, I will here share a gambit you can use in your seductions or as inspiration to create something of your own. It can, like always, help you see how you can construct some juicy material. As usual, this gambit will be filled with other goodies that will have an impact on the receiver – and of course we will break it all down.

This routine/gambit comes up in my Night Game podcast with Varoon Rajah when I share one of my adventures. So check that podcast out if you want to see this exact gambit being used (and how I followed up) and get some ideas of the context in which you can use it.

21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar

signs she's psycho
How do you know a girl is crazy, and best avoided when you meet her at the bar? Look for these 21 signs... and keep your distance!

Talking about my article “8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should Stay Away From”, reader SZ comments:

I read the how to tell if a chicks crazy article, but it looks like if you kind of know her already, so if it’s a same night lay or a fast lay, no way to tell.

How can you tell a chick will be a problem from the first interaction, so you know she’s crazy right off the bat? How do you tell upfront ?

Good question. How do you know right away... when you meet her on the street, in a party, or at a bar? How do you know if she’s a potential danger to you? How can you identify the psychos – so you can weed them out?

As fun and liberating as hookup culture may be, there are plenty of folks who are off their rockers – and if you go out enough, you will meet them. Psycho men you need to avoid to stay out of fights. Psycho women you need to avoid for that reason... and for many more reasons. Psycho women may:

  • Manipulate you into fighting another man – psycho chicks often like to see men battle each other for their hands

  • Stalk you and harass you after sex – if you’ve never had a female stalker, you might think, “Eh, how bad can that be?” If you have had a female stalker though, you know it’s both kinda scary (you don’t have to be a big, burly man to sneak up on someone and plunge a knife in their throat; petite women can do this too), and it cramps your style in a major way (try keeping a high quality girlfriend while some psycho chick hounds you everywhere and contacts any woman she sees interacting with you to tell her made-up things to try and scare her off)

  • Slap you with a false rape accusationbetween 45% and 55% of men accused of rape are falsely accused by women; it’s an enormous problem in the West, and nobody talks about it (or is allowed to). While the odds are good her story will fall apart under police interrogation, and you will win the case, that won’t stop you from losing $10,000 to $100,000 on attorney and court fees, getting suspended or expelled from school, getting suspended or fired from work, and losing some or most of your friends. You don’t even need to have penetrative sex to get hit with an FRA; men who’ve no more than fingered a girl get hit with these, and sometimes a guy who’s never even touched a girl will get FRA’d

  • Just generally be an un-fun time – even if she’s not psycho enough to sick some meathead on you, follow you around and scare off other girls you date, or file a false police report claiming you raped her, psycho chicks are a lot of drama and can lead to some really draining nights out. Random crying fits, accusations followed by apologies, jealousy plotlines where she makes out with other men in front of you then gets angry if you try to leave, pulling you along somewhere you don’t want to go and then ditching you when you get there... these are just a few of the things I’ve seen psycho women do in nightlife

Caveat for the people who take things completely literally at all times: I’m using the term ‘psycho’ here in the colloquial sense of the word. I’m not focused on the clinical definition of psychosis. Though you’ll encounter some of that among women who exhibit these signs too. Instead, we are talking about crazy, nutty, outré behavior from broken people.

There is no reason to tolerate psychotic behavior from a woman. Unless you’re wildly desperate. Then I guess you may not be able to help yourself. But I hope if you’re someone who’s read this site for a little while, you are not wildly desperate.

Otherwise, there are so many normal women out there, who are just as hot (usually hotter) than the psycho chicks, and will not ruin or seriously monkey up your life. You want to find these girls (the normal ones), and screen out the crazies.

To help you do so, I’ve prepared a list of 21 signs to keep your eyes peeled for when you hit the bar, the lounge, the nightclub, the party, or the street at night, to make sure you don’t end up with a girl who’ll sour you on dating.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Out * Diggers

screen * diggers
An * digger is a girl who picks which guy to date via one single quality: his muscles, or skin color, or wallet, or military status, or more.

In my article on how to avoid divorce rape, I discussed wife screening. In particular, I talked about how to screen out gold diggers, social climbers, and husband hunters. A reader didn’t like this, and took a mocking tone toward the act of screening out undesirables:

Really good article. Especially that pick the right wife part.

Do you plan on writing an article on screening out muscle* diggers?

There are some evil women out there who dig muscular men. They want to look at your muscles, touch it, ask you to hug them, to lift something etc.

“What’s the problem?” you might ask.

The problem is that those women don’t like you for you like yo mamma does. They don’t give you ego validation. If you were skinny, they wouldn’t even look at you.

What advice would you give to muscular guys?

Would you tell them to slouch, hide their muscles, wear oversized clothes, get fat asap?

You might think that I’m just jealous of those guys and trying to sabotage them... you might think that I’m in auto-rejection by calling those women evil, superficial when I realize that I’ll only ever be able to jerk off to their Instagram photos at best. I’m not.

__

* you can substitute this with fashion, popularity, credentials, nice haircut, tatoos etc.

Mockery aside, he has a point: there really ARE * diggers... and you often will want to screen them out. (I’ll likely do a second article sometime soon about the weird recent Western trend of not screening wives and girlfriends more specifically, too)

In today’s article, we’ll talk about why to screen, in case you haven’t been burned by women before and you aren’t convinced a woman would ever use a man. But then we’ll talk practical solutions. Since, obviously, totally concealing your best qualities (e.g., getting fat ASAP) will usually be counterproductive.

5 Social Media Signs She Thinks Her Boyfriend is a Chump

social media boyfriend
If she’s calling him loyal on social media, she thinks her boyfriend’s a chump. See all 5 ways to tell social media champs from chumps.

Social media is, like celebrity gossip, a waste of time.

But like celebrity gossip, it’s also a direct view into human psychology at its most brutal and honest – if you can see past the Snapchat filters and fake love.

With this article, I hope to show you how seemingly empty entertainment, like social media, can actually grant insight into how women use public displays of affection to signal their own value as a mate and, inadvertently, shame their boyfriends.

The Feminine Conundrum: Why Do Women Contradict Themselves So Much?

women contradict themselves
Women contradict themselves a lot. But they don’t always do so for the same reasons... They have 5 different ones, in fact.

She tells you she’s past her hookup phase and doesn’t just hook up with guys anymore. An hour later she’s fumbling with your belt buckle to pull down your pants and give you a blow job.

She tells you she’s done dating bad boys. But after your best bad boy performance, she’s already texting you a few days later to see when you want to do it again.

She tells you at the ordering window she doesn’t want anything to drink. Five minutes later she’s gulped down most of your cola and left you with an almost-empty cup.

She texts you she doesn’t want to be around a guy with friends like yours. Then she shows up at your door that night anyway, a big grin on her face... even after you told her you’re not dropping your friends for her.

She tells you she doesn’t want anything serious with you. A few months later she picks a big blow-up fight because she feels like it isn’t going anywhere.

She tells you she hates people who contradict themselves all the time. Then she contradicts herself again.

Spend any time around women and you’ve no doubt seen this. Most of these contradictions you get used to once you’ve seen them enough. But even if you’re a grizzled romantic veteran, women will still pull out contradictions that make your mental gears grind to a halt. And the only thing you can do is stare, jaw agape, and ask yourself, “What on Earth...? How can both of these sentiments come from the same person?”

Today we’re going to explore this feminine conundrum. We’re going to resolve all the contradictions around the female tendency to contradict.

Why Can't You Find a Loyal Woman?

find a loyal woman
To men, women can seem disloyal… Or at least, not nearly as loyal as men. What’s it take to find a loyal lady anyway?

One of the most discombobulating romantic statements I hear from men goes like this:

I just want to find a girl that’s loyal.

It’s not discombobulating because women can’t be loyal. Plenty of men throughout history, down through to today, have had women deeply loyal to them.

The statement discombobulates, rather, because you cannot ‘find’ loyal women. Any more than you can dig deep into a diamond mine in search of engagement rings, or wander into the African savanna on the lookout for trained circus lions. You may find diamonds in the diamond mine, but you won’t find rings; you might find lions in the savanna, but they won’t be trained. So it is with women.

Some women are more inclined toward loyalty than others, it’s true. But women by nature are opportunistic. They are romantic guns-for-hire, ready to serve whoever makes the best offer... and eminently practical when the lord they’d hoped to sign on with is unable or unwilling to give them the agreement they need.

“I want to find a loyal woman” is a foundational misunderstanding of female psychology. It projects male values onto female prospects.

But women aren’t men. And the way they think about loyalty, treat it, and uphold or enforce it is very, very different.

When Girls Bring Up Feminism at the Bar or on Dates

when girls bring up feminism
Girls bring up feminism sometimes at the bar or on dates. But address this wrong, and you either look weak, or get into a fight. What do you do?

It is not uncommon these days to read about feminism and gender related issues in mainstream and social media. It is indeed a hot subject; many politicians focus on gender issues, schools and universities have been affected by feminism, and society as a whole experiences both the benefits and the consequences of these ideals.

Regarding men’s websites, we often see critics of feminism – especially on websites related to the “men’s rights movement” (MRM) – who usually post about the negative effects feminism has on society and how it impacts men’s lives.

These MRM posts are usually normative and take a political stance regarding the subject. This is not the purpose of this post.

I want to analyze how feminism – and the subject of feminism – can affect some of your interactions with women. In other words, what do you do if a girl starts giving you the feminist talk when you are trying to escalate the vibe? I want to discuss the direct, practical implications this has on the interaction while treating the normative status of the subject as irrelevant. In other words, I will leave the discussion regarding whether or not feminism per se is good or bad to somebody else (for now), and instead share a more descriptive and practical perspective on the subject.

The idea of this post is to cover why and how to deal with women bringing the gender debate into interactions. The perspective of this post is based on the basic assumption that you want to get her naked.

If you are like me and go out a lot, you will encounter women bringing this subject up, especially in the light of important political events, which tend to stir up such controversial subjects. Note that this post is focused on feminism and gender related questions because these tend to be the most commonly brought up political topics when interacting with women. However, each of the techniques covered here are valid for any controversial or loaded political, philosophical (only if it is normatively loaded), religious, or ethical subject. I believe all of these are topics to be avoided in seduction. You will see in this post that my focus is mostly geared toward changing or avoiding the subject, as these topics are simply not fruitful for seduction.

Also note that when I am referring to feminism, I am not just referring to the topic of “gender equality” (which is only one of the many topics of feminism – one that I tend to agree with); I’m speaking of the whole ideology behind the feminist world view.

How to Kickstart Behavior Change in Girlfriends or Lovers

girlfriend behavior modification
So you want to modify a girlfriend’s behavior. Yet if you come out and say, “I want you to change,” you’ll offend. You must employ subtler means.

I was talking with my best friend the other day. He’s married but still occasionally reads Girls Chase. Plus, we talk all the time, so he’s bound to hear about girls and then talk about them.

One of his particular interests in relationship management right now is using social media to change the behavior of one’s girlfriend or wife.

We’ve discussed operant conditioning with relationships before. Encourage and reward what behavior you like; ignore the behavior you don’t.

But what we haven’t discussed too much is how to get the ball rolling with operant conditioning – how do you show her what you want her to do?

After a long talk on the phone with my buddy, we came up with a good system for guys in relationships to follow.