Female Mind

If you view some women as virginal saintly Madonnas, and others as dissolute slutty whores, does that create problems for you?

Have you ever heard of the Madonna-whore complex?

When I was young, there was this special girl.

She played volleyball for a rival school’s team. When she’d come to play at my school, I’d watch her bounce and frolic and think: “If only she were my girl, I’d be the happiest guy in the world.”

I built her up in my imagination to be the perfect girlfriend, even though I’d never met her. She was my “one-itis.”

Fast forward a couple years. I entered high school, infiltrated her social circle, asked her out, and wow, she became my first girlfriend!

I spent a few months going to her house, making out on her couch, annoying her while she did her homework. I never slept with her because I “knew” she wasn’t ready (hah).

In retrospect, I was the one who wasn’t ready. I was young, needy, and insecure. So she dumped me.

I cried many boy tears. I left roses on her doorstep. I wrote her love letters. And then, a few days later, I saw her making out with the captain of the rugby team in front of my locker.

What? My angel must have been seduced by this evil bastard! He drugged her. He brainwashed her!

Many years later, I found her on Facebook. “You were my first girlfriend. I was crazy about you,” I said.

“Oh, I remember that. I was such a slut back then,” she replied.

And pop went my illusion of the perfect girl. By this point, I was an experienced man-whore. But I still had a Madonna-whore complex, and I saw her as a Madonna.

If she's objecting to something, check yourself. If you have tight fundamentals, persist.

Today we’re going to look at how to handle objections from women.

We’ll do this by breaking down a post from the Skilled Seducer forums.

By the end of this post, you'll know whether to persist or desist with an objecting woman, and how to persist properly where you can.

If you're like most guys, you're not going out right now. Yet single women are lonelier than ever, and more receptive to your approaches than ever before.

I'm just about finished an epic "3 potential futures for dating in a post-lockdown world" article that explores the current and potential long-lasting social changes we're looking at, depending on one of three scenarios (lockdowns lift in 2022 as currently promised; rolling annual lockdowns become a normal part of Western disease-fighting; or permanent lockdowns are here to stay, with freedom passes awarded to good citizens).

But then you get into speculating about the future, and as neutral as I try to make an article like that it's hard not to veer into this side or that side, and, frankly, at this point, we're living in a dystopia, and talking about the dystopia we're in is sort of depressing.

And everyone's got enough depression to deal with already.

So instead I want to do something different.

Instead, let me set that huge long massive article aside (and maybe I will or won't publish it at some point) and do something else.

Let me talk to you about what women are going through right now.

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Hey and welcome back.

After finishing my latest series on indirect game, I’ve decided to make a few more posts covering aspects of the topic that did not make it into my series or respond to questions and comments that I have seen in the comment sections.

Today I want to debunk the idea that women are always aware of your intentions, as if they were ultra-intuitive super-computers.

This flawed argument is often used as a sort of counterargument to indirect game.

The argument goes as follows:

“What’s the point of going indirect, if she knows that you are hitting on her anyway?”

Followed up with:

“So, you might as well be direct about your intentions.”

I see this argument often, and every time I read it my eyes hurt.

There are false beliefs involved in this line of thinking.

I always wonder how this idea first appeared.

It seems to be a form of projection of male thinking onto women (yes, we are wired differently). And yet I have no clear idea where such notions came from.

What I can say is that this line of reasoning is wrong:

• The first dimension is that "women can sense what your true intentions are – they can sense you are hitting on them". This is false, although there are some nuances

• Even if we were to assume the above is indeed correct (or that elements of it may at times be true), then it is still not a reason for going direct

So, on both levels, the whole argument is flawed, and this line of thought can be safely thrown into the wastebasket.

This is what this post is about, debunking this line of thought by discussing these two dimensions.

Early on in a relationship, women may sometimes start to doubt things. If a girl you've been seeing decides to call it quits though, you've got some options.

A reader recently brought up a situation in which a girl he'd recently started dating and sleeping with pulled a 180 and announced she'd rather they just be platonic friends.

Commenting on my article on dealing with LJBFs ("let's just be friends"), he says:

Hi Chase,

Great article!

However, I'm having a difficult time identifying which type of LJBF rejection I received in the current situation I'm in. I recently had sex three times with a coworker. We've known each other for two years but only recently started hanging out because she switched projects and no longer worked closely with me.

I will try to describe the series of events as clearly as possible.

We've hung out 4 times over the span of three weeks. Three times were exclusively at my place (2 of the 3 times we had sex) and the final time we went on a hike. Since we've been hanging out, the girl has been giving me a few signs hinting that she wanted a relationship with me although I never brought it up. First, she told two of her old coworkers that we hooked up. Second, she told me she hadn't had sex all year until we finally hooked up—leading me to believe she's a serial dater. Third, she invited me over to her apartment for breakfast with her sister, her sister's best friend, and the best friend's husband. Since we've only been seeing each other in a sexual capacity for three weeks, I told her I was busy Saturday and could not make the breakfast; however, I suggested that we go on a hike together Sunday which she accepted.

The hike was a lot of fun, she has a cool personality and we were able to talk freely with each other. At one point, we sat at this little cove we discovered and made out. Everything seemed fine. However, on the car ride home, when I suggested that we pick a new show to binge watch together this week, the girl said she thinks it's best that we be platonic friends. I was taken by surprise a little and was driving so I didn't really react to this as well as I would have liked. But the conversation seemed off to me in the first place. I figured we were just having fun and keeping things super casual, so there was no need to have this type of conversation. Her response made me believe it was about the sex we had.

If I had to describe the sex, I would have to say it was mediocre at best. Mostly due to us getting to know each other. I also think this is compounded by the fact that she knew about the great sex I used to have with an ex-girlfriend of mine and probably had very high expectations. In the car she tried to assure me that this was not the case, that she enjoyed the sex but just didn't feel a spark between us—but at the same time I wasn't hanging out with her to date her so why would there be a spark.

Ultimately, this most recent interaction has me confused and left wondering if there is something I can learn from the situation. Any help would be appreciated!

At first this seems a bit puzzling, right?

Because we know that usually, once a girl's slept with you two to four times, she's 'converted'; that is, she now views you and her as being in a sexual relationship.

You aren't dealing with all these doubts and objections any longer.

Read more: How to Convert One-Time Sex into Regular Sex

Usually it takes only 2-3 times.

Yet sometimes, even past the point of conversion, you'll continue to have to deal with women who are on the verge of ending this connection they have with you.

So... what gives?

Why do girls want to stop seeing you after they've already gotten together with you?

Women put a lot of signals out there. Yet, there are things women do that men THINK signal interest to them… but nevertheless are distractions.

We've talked a lot about ways women signal their interest in men.

However, as big a problem as missing women's signs of interest is, there's another problem under-discussed in the men's dating advice space: mistaking as signs of interest things that in fact aren't.

What's wrong with mistaking signs of interest? I thought you were supposed to assume attraction anyway, you might say!

Well, that's right, you are.

Nevertheless, if you recall from our discussion of the importance of the similarity of interest, the interest you show a girl should closely match what she feels.

If you show a lot more interest than what she feels, because you incorrectly judged her to be more warmed up than she was, you risk of burning out the courtship before it begins.

To help you not do that, in today's article we'll look at the most common behaviors of women's that men incorrectly think show interest -- so you can recognize these yourself and not get fooled.

When a girl plays hard to get with you, it's actually because of one of three key reasons. She might be shy… she might be curious… or she might want to hook you in more…

You met a girl, you hit it off, and you're certain that she likes you.

All the signals are there, after all.

She smiles when you talk to her. She laughs at your (sometimes unfunny) jokes.

She waits for you. She plays with her hair. She stares deep into your eyes while you talk.

Yet, when you ask her out, she evades. "I can't," she says. "I'm too busy right now."

And you're perplexed! You'd swear this girl likes you. You're sure she does. She's not just some random flirtatious girl.

You've seen her with other guys. She isn't this way with them. There's definitely something there between you. You're definite about it.

However, she keeps being flirtatious with you, but keeps evading your attempts to get together with her.

Why do girls play hard to get?