Female Mind

What power do men have in dating? It may seem like women hold all the cards. Yet men have one special thing at their fingertips that women desperately crave…

Are men totally without power in the current dating game?

It could seem so to many.  Today I would like to discuss this subject while discussing what gives women that “power” and whether or not this ends up creating a skewed dating game.

Many of you will start seeing this article as some rant – but truth is, it is not. It will start of with the typical “the dating game is unfair” type of narrative – usually shared by the manosphere. However, I invite you to read the whole article, since I believe things are not as one-sided (and if you came here to get a confirmation for your flawed “the world is unfair” type of belief – you may leave disappointed).

As a matter of fact I will later in this article move on to discuss what power men actually have.

No, we are not talking about the typical “men have economical and political power” which is the argument most feminist would give.

Whether true or not (most likely some truth in it) is completely irrelevant to our discuss because whether there are more men making up the elite (political and economic) has very little impact on normal men’s dating lives.

In fact, when discussing the subject of equality (and inequalities) between the sexes, the subject is always surrounding political and economical power. Yet, we rarely see “legal” inequalities being discussed, most likely because the results of such discussion would be contrary to the current narrative (men are usually disfavoured in courts of law – especially in cases regarding parenting, etc.).

Although kind of relevant to pick up and seduction, political/economical/legal power will not be the subject of today's discussion, because it has little impact on actual dating strategies and the mating process.

Many men today believe women's standards are too high. The reality is, women's standards have ALWAYS been high… or at least, women have always claimed this.

Again and again of late I've seen this argument that women's dating standards are simply too high.

That women expect too much of men, they want men who are perfect, and their standards are completely unrealistic.

Most recently, a reader commented this on my article about the source of 21st Century Western men's distinct lack of action and motivation, saying:

I dont think men dont have the drive to have sex; its just that womens standards are too high and most men dont make the cut. Most men are trying and failing to get laid, others have given up, and a small percentage is getting almost everything. We have to be realistic and acknowledge that most men are going to be average no matter what. The problem is that women have too many options and society allows them to go for the top men.

This is a common refrain from a lot of men's sites on the web.

“How's any guy supposed to have a shot in this day and age?”

But is it true?

Are you, indeed, condemned to suffer loneliness and deprivation, sucking up the scraps of women who fell off the tables of ALPHA MALES, those rare few men who get all the girls?

Is this simply your lot in life, assuming you're unable or unwilling to join the ranks of those few elite men?

Sometimes you make a move on a girl and she hits you with "let's just be friends." Yet just because you got one LJBF doesn't mean you're out of the running…

You make a move on a girl or ask her out.

She looks you firm in the eyes, aaaaand... "I thought we could just be friends!" she tells you.

Just like that, the wind has sucked all the way out of your sails.

I guess you have to just be friends with her now.

...

...

...

I'm kidding. What point is there to that?

You're talking to her because you want her. Either to date her or to have a fun roll in the hay with her.

When she puts the "let's just be friends" (LJBF) frame on you, you're faced with several options... but not all these options are created equal.

Just because you use boyfriend disqualifiers doesn't mean you're totally out of the running as a boyfriend. Many guys still act like boyfriends… yet don't even realize it.

An issue I've noticed guys have over the years is they stumble upon Girls Chase, they read about not coming across as a boyfriend, and then they try to present themselves as 'not boyfriends' without actually changing their vibes.

Typically what they do is they add certain things to their conversations that they've read will push them out of boyfriend contention.

But then they don't actually revise the rest of their conversation to take out boyfriend-y topics and remarks. And they don't change their presentation or delivery style any, so they still seem like boyfriend candidates -- except now they're candidates who also say some slightly un-boyfriend-y things.

So let's talk about things men do (without even realizing it) that make them come across as boyfriend candidates to the women they meet... even while these men think (in error) that they are "coming across like the ultimate lovers."

Most women may like taller men. Yet if you know what traits to look for, you can spot the women who are open to dating shorter men… or who even prefer them.

Where are the women who like short men?

I used to watch this cartoon called “Invader Zim.” It’s about a jerk alien who’s one of the shortest in a society that places high status on the tallest members. The leaders of the race are actually called “The Tallest.”

The joke is obviously aimed at us, the human race, and our predisposition to give status to the big and tall. It’s tied to our DNA, I suppose. Men like women with thin waists, wide hips, and big breasts for baby-rearing. Women like big, tall, strong men to protect them from wild beasties in the night. We haven’t evolved all that much.

Does that mean if you’re under five feet tall, you’re doomed to dating other Hobbits? Are you going to be stuck traveling the yellow brick road, forever limited to other Oompa Loompas? Don’t fret little one.

Today I’m going to alleviate the insecurities of the countless vertically-challenged men seeking confirmation that they’re not doomed to a life of AI sex dolls and Cheetos. There's plenty of hope for your dating as a short man.

Yes, there are women who like dating short men. It’s not a niche you’ll find on porn sites (I’ve never looked), but thanks to something we call having “game,” any man can rise above (snicker) the competition.

A ubiquitous but under-discussed tool in every good seducer's skill set is the art of misdirection. Let's peek at how you can use misdirection to better seduce the women you meet.

One of the most enjoyable things about the art of seduction is how open it is to a variety of angles, all of them unique, and all encompassing fascinating aspects of human psychology.

We know techniques like cold reading. Deep diving. Chase frames. Sex talk. Screening and qualifying. Compliance stacking. Yes-ladders. Forcing framing. Resistance busting. And so on and so forth. All these tactics are a pleasure to use, and for the woman you use them upon, they're a pleasure to have used on her.

You see, women enjoy to be seduced.

If they didn't enjoy it, they wouldn't let you get away with it.

While uninitiated men think seducers are big baddies who trick unsuspecting women into unwanted intimacy, any veteran seducer knows the opposite is true. It's the low-skilled non-seducers who ply women with alcohol until their decision-making is impaired or snake their ways into women's trusts via the 'friend zone'.

Seducers do the opposite.

When you're a seducer, you're honest. Even when you're using your tactics, the woman still knows what your game is. She's not dumb. She plays along, however, because she likes it.

And we can use misdirection to play this game with her.

While it might have a bad rap as a tool of pickpockets and con artists, misdirection is also a part of magic shows, carnivals, and some of the very best books and movies out there, that leave you riveted to your seat and unable to turn away.

You can use misdirection to the same effect within your own seductions.

It will give you more success, and a lot more enjoyment.

Was your pure princess corrupted by a dirty playboy? Does it really even work that way? We explore whether women are innocent doves, ruined by filthy, devilish men.

I've been meaning to write this article for a bit, and we just got another one of these comments. The comment was on my article where I talked about feeling sad when splitting with a woman, not knowing if she'll ever find another guy on my level.

The commentator naturally said this showed I was an evil man for dating women and ruining them for other men and that I should only do friends-with-benefits or something (as if that was something I was even interested in!).

So I guess now's as good a time as any to address this belief that some guys hold.

Namely, that women are innocent, dove-like creatures, who are tragically ruined by diabolical romance fiends (like me), who seduce them, capture their hearts like they've never been captured before, then boot them out into the cold, to never be able to truly love a man again.

It's a kind of reverse-Disney; Prince Charming, rather than making the Princess's dreams come true, transforms her dreams into bitter lifelong regrets.

Is this how it really works?