Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

State Control, Pt. 1: Do You Need to Be "In State" to Pick Up Girls?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

state control
State control (your ability to manage the mood you’re in) is vital and powerful for seduction. Yet, like anything, lean on it too much, and it can become a crutch.

In my past article about what makes a good, consistent seducer, I listed a few related traits:

  • The ability to handle logistics

  • Good decision making

  • Good calibration

  • Good timing

  • Awareness

  • State control and cool-headedness

Today I will discuss the last aspect, state control. There is a lot of info regarding this online, and many dating companies are obsessed with notions such as “state” and “inner game.” And even though there is a lot of truth there, I find them to be sometimes overemphasized (meaning, they’re leaving something out).

I do believe having the right mindsets and a positive reality that reinforces seductive behavior is essential. The problem is that your belief system and your inner game, even though attractive, have to somehow be conveyed in order to have an effect. Conveying those traits requires a form of “outer game” – or rather, technical game.

Either way, today’s topic is related to state control. Many seducers are very obsessed with getting in state when meeting and picking up girls. What they refer to is basically getting in the mood. Even though I agree that “feeling it” and generally feeling good (i.e., having energy, feeling confident, and being in a social state as well as a sexual state) is beneficial, I believe aspects of it are exaggerated. I will discuss why I think so, and also how you can keep your head cool in tricky situations.

Women Can Get Bored with Monogamy, Jealous with Non-Monogamy

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

monogamy and non-monogamy problems
Monogamy and non-monogamy each face their own unique challenges. Women in monogamous relationships can grow bored; women in non-monogamous ones, jealous.

There are many different kinds of relationships available to the romantically gifted man. There’s classical monogamy, of course. There are friends with benefits relationships and fuckbuddies. Open long-term relationships (polyamory). There’s one-sided monogamy. Even pimp-ho and master-slave relationships, if you really want to explore the dark side (which we won’t do here).

All these, more or less, fall into one of two categories: open (in which the partners may see other people) and exclusive (in which the partners don’t – or at least aren’t supposed to – see other people. Sometimes people are naughty though). Today’s article explores the two primary challenges each style of relationship faces: the biggest challenges to the health of exclusive and non-exclusive romantic relationships.

I recently kicked off a series (the “How to Build a Harem” series) to convey what I’ve learned about non-monogamous relationships and steer guys who are interested in such relationships in the right direction. I realized that before I can delve into non-monogamy, I need to showcase it as a comparison to the conventional model we all know about. I want to highlight the distinctions between challenges in both systems (if you’re in either one, you might see these in action in just a matter of months, but really they are inevitable).

No system is better than another. There are advantages and disadvantages to all flavors of relationship, but the challenges differ vastly by system. I’ll lay these out to help you figure out which system is right for you while also creating the best outcome for yourself long term.

Tactics Tuesdays: Relaxed Openers in Bars with a Wingman

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

relaxed bar opener
The relaxed bar opener lets you meet girls in a bar in a relaxed, natural, sociable way. All you need to do it is a cool wingman, and halfway decent fundamentals.

Much of what we talk about when it comes to cold approach centers on walking up to new women solo and delivering an opener. Often we discuss going out alone to meet girls. Or we might talk about rolling with a wingman, yet treat it as little different from rolling solo; just two guys roving the streets, bars, or parties on the prowl, and when one guy sees a girl he likes the looks of, he goes in.

Today’s article is about a more relaxed approach you can take while out with a wingman in a social venue (bars, parties, nightclubs), that makes it easy for you to meet new girls in a laid back, low pressure way, without looking like the ‘guy on a mission’ who goes around and chats up every available girl.

If you’re new to approaching and want an easy way for you and a friend to transition into chatting up new women, this is a prime candidate for that. Or even if you’re an old hand and simply prefer a more relaxed evening on the town, this approach serves nicely.

Let’s talk about what this approach is.

How to Be Certain, Part 2: How to Develop Certainty

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

how to develop certaintyIn Part 1 of this series, we discussed the fundamentals of certainty – The Triumvirate of Certainty.

The Triumvirate goes like this:

  • Certainty of Knowledge

  • Certainty of Desire

  • Certainty of Morality

If any of these pillars are missing from your mind, your certainty will be imperfect. You will be uncertain. This article is dedicated to managing these uncertainties.

Let’s get to it.

Don't Let Your Approaches/Courtships Be Adversarial

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

adversarial approach
If you get your hackles up, or start to feel defensive, it’s easy to turn adversarial on dates and in conversations. Yet do this, and you will quick run into walls with women...

Here’s an insidious problem it’s easy to overlook.

Sometimes if you hit the bars, or the street, or a party, and your first few approaches don’t go well, and you pick up a couple rejections, you can start to sour on the whole ‘chat up new girls’ thing.

Or sometimes if you have a history of rejection... or you’ve been reading too much anger-inducing content on the Internet... or you’ve just had a terrible day in general... this can happen.

Basically: you start to expect the worst, and either bristle for it, go in adversarially, or both.

And when a woman talks to you, she can feel it: you’re defensive, guarding against rudeness, insult, or dismissal. And/or you’re aggressive, treating her like an opponent whose defenses and objections you must ‘beat’, instead of as a friend you’d like to help lead around those objections (and into bed).

Yet the more adversarial you let your approach become, the worse it will usually do.

You need to not do this to make things work better with girls.

The 8 Types of Orgasm Routine

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

8 types of orgasm
There are 8 kinds of orgasm a woman can experience. And with this routine, you can communicate your sexual expertise to her – and leave her dripping to hook up with you.

Hey, guys! Today I will post a technique that I have been using since 2009! And it is probably my most successful technique. It’s a real gem, folks! Not only that, but many other skilled seducers I know of have gotten laid with this exact technique over the past year. It truly is a powerhouse.

This will be a long post, but not because there’s too much to remember. I really want to give you every detail and cover the theoretical background and potential pitfalls (and how to avoid them). I’ve also included some good examples as well as good sex talk transitions you can use. Do not get freaked out. That said, this post is best fit for intermediate to advanced seducers. Depending on your level, I will share variations of this technique. I will also suggest, for those of you who are truly advanced, ways you can further spice it up.

Not too long ago, I shared a very detailed report on the forums.

In that thread, a poster named “yash” made the following request:

“Could you go more in detail on The 8 Types of Orgasms? I don't think I've seen an article on that ever on the main site, plus I haven't seen it in the boards, but I would love to know the process for how to pull each one of them off.”

Yash is right. I haven’t shared it on the main site, which is why I will do it now. Last time I posted it was on mASF in 2010 (the pickup forum back in the day where all the legends were made – a place that no longer exists). So yeah, a revisited version is in order.

The routine (or gambit) was one of my first sex-talk routines, and it is still one of my favorites. When I discovered and wrote down my theory on sexual prizing, I had to make a routine based on it. That was the “8 Types of Orgasm” routine. I have of course made many gambits based on the concept of sexual prizing, but this is the classic version.

Even though I made it when I was 16, it truly rocked my world. Girls would go easily from orange to green… and not just green… I mean they’d go straight luck-o’-the-Irish chartreuse! I used it 2 weekends ago, first on Thursday with a super-hot, introverted, 20-year-old girl who did not show me much attention at first. But she lighted right up after this routine. I used it again Saturday as a 1-shot-1-kill on a 21-year-old chick who literally asked me to take her home right away.

I am about to share something juicy.

First things first. I do not consider this technique super advanced, as I pulled it off successfully when I was intermediate (still with a few failures, which you will not experience that much if you are an advanced player – but again, failures are what transform you into a calibrated seduction master).

With that in mind, let us get on with it.

Does She Know What She Wants? Many Female Desires Are Unconscious

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

know what she wants
What women say they want and what they actually choose often doesn’t line up. Why is so much of what women really want unconscious?

One of the most challenging aspects of psychological science is how often people say they want one thing, only to choose something else.

I saw this routinely back in my tire salesman days. A customer would come in and say he wanted the cheapest set of tires we had. I’d ask him about what he wanted his driving experience to be like; I’d discover he wanted great road traction and a comfortable ride; and he’d proceed to purchase a premium set of tires with excellent traction and ride comfort instead.

This “what you say you want vs. what you actually want” issue manifests in all sorts of ways in psychological science, too. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel’s 2008 speed dating study “Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner?” found no matter how strong someone insisted a preference was (e.g., “I will only date a girl if she is beautiful” “I won’t date a guy unless he makes a lot of money”), that person was no more likely to pick someone who matched the preference in a live event than average.

In his chapter in The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Generation of Culture, on how women evaluate mate prospects, Bruce J. Ellis unfurls a host of items on how women select their mates. One of the most important things Ellis talks about, though, is some of the paradoxes in mate selection. For instance, much research finds women are drawn to men who are socially dominant: men who dominate their social environments. These men tend to be cooler, more aloof, and more detached. Yet a lot of other research finds women are drawn to men who are warm, personal, and caring. How do those two connect?

We’ll talk about Ellis’s solutions to the warmth-dominance paradox below. But first we need to pose a question: do people actually know what they want?

3 Simple Tips to Make Your Approaches Powerful

Daniel Adebayo's picture

By: Daniel Adebayo

approach tips
Hold your eye contact, don’t approach head-on, and let her see you first: 3 quick, simple, important elements of every good approach.

I’d like to say a few words about approaching women (the very first segment of the seduction process). There’s an abundance of technicalities that concern what needs to be done in the latter parts of the process, but it’s also very important to discuss the specifics of the approach.

Because the way you approach her sets the tone for the entire seduction.

That’s right, approaching her in a sloppy and uncalibrated manner will result in you setting a bad precedent for the entire seduction – something you will probably have to fight uphill and recover from as things progress. And who wants to be doing that when they could instead be delivering the juice to a much more receptive girl?

Therefore, it’s safe to assume that if you approach her correctly, you’ll be taking a necessary first step to ensure that the remainder of the seduction proceeds smoothly.

So here are three (3) tips that will help you avoid some very common slip-ups and get things going in the smoothest way possible.

Tactics Tuesdays: Brushing Off Tough Questions

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

brush off questions
You never want to explain yourself to a woman’s tough questions. Yet to brush them off, you need the right tactics – and the right mentality.

We’ve talked about tough questions (which fall under the umbrella of ‘tests’) before. I’ve given you some ways to answer these well, as well as a formula to know how to respond to such challenges (i.e., status and respect). And, perhaps most importantly of all, I cautioned you never to explain yourself to women.

Today we’ll talk about a few specific varieties of challenging questions you can receive (from both men and women... though we’ll focus mainly on questions from women today). That variety is tough questions; questions that put you on the spot, in a not-so-helpful-to-your-cause sort of way.

We’ll talk about brushing these questions off. But there’s going to be a twist to how we do this; we don’t want to do a brush off in a way that looks like we are trying not to answer. That’s because if you evade someone’s questions (for too long), it seems like you’re frightened, or have something to hide.

So instead, we want to brush tough questions off in a way that either blows up the question, or lets us answer it on more favorable terms.

How to Be Certain, Part 1: The Triumvirate of Certainty

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

how to be certain
To be able to lead – whether men, women, or both – you must be certain. And to be certain, you must have three (3) elements in place.

Two candidates are about to give their speeches for president of the Interfraternity Council. The IFC is the board that governs all the fraternities on campus. It controls how and when rush proceeds (the process by which fraternities and sororities recruit members) and deals with disciplinary action.

It's not that important of a position, since at this school, they're quite liberal with control, but it's still a position. And men, well, they like titles. It makes them feel important. They respect them. Women? They yearn for men with position. It gets them wet.

So these two men want it.

The first candidate is the former vice president and has been given the opportunity to speak first.

“Hey guys! As you know, I was vice president for the past year and hopefully have lived up to the duties given to that position. As you saw, I tried to reestablish the philanthropic duties of vice president and actually held a fundraiser, something no vice president in recent memory has done. Also, I oversaw a judicial board hearing and carried it out quickly and efficiently, another duty of vice president that hasn’t been fulfilled in recent years. I’ve seen how the executive board works. I’ve worked with the president closely, helped him facilitate almost every duty of the council, seen how all the paperwork gets dealt with, and have even met with administrators in an effort to better understand what the school wants from us.

I hope that you’ve noticed my hard work and dedication and will do me the honor of voting me in as president of the council. Thank you very much!”