Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Secrets to Getting Girls: Time Your Moves

Chase Amante's picture

time your moves
When your words, actions, and moves aren’t timed right, it all feels wrong and incongruous. Yet when the timing is right, everything becomes magic.

When a comedian makes a joke, even if it’s a spectacular joke, if the timing is wrong, nobody laughs.

Usually on Girls Chase we talk about timing in the context of:

Yet timing snakes its tendrils through everything you do with women. Timing matters in your opens. Timing matters when you ask for investment. Timing matters at transition points. Timing matters during the pull, the kiss, and the escalation to intimacy.

If your timing is off, everything in your process will be off. You’ll fly blind through the courtship, trying this here and that there. Timing, you will notice if you observe enough guys in action, often is the Achilles’s heel of many men who work hard in seduction but reap few rewards. When you see such guys, your frequent reaction will be “Why is he doing that then? He should’ve done that 10 minutes ago!” or “Why is he saying this now? She’s not ready for that yet!”

We’re going to tackle timing in two ways today.

The first is to give you a rough sequence of events a courtship progresses through.

The second is to give you a couple signs to watch out for to let you calibrate your timing no matter where you’re at with her.

Are Gorgeous Women More Difficult than Cute or Pretty Ones?

Hector Castillo's picture

gorgeous women
Some guys will tell you to get a beautiful girl, treat her the same as any girl. Good advice, but it’s worth keeping in mind: she isn’t, actually, the same as any girl.

Uh, yeah. Duh.

But every so often, I’ll hear some guy say something like “You should just treat that girl like she’s a 7.”

To an extent, I agree, but that doesn’t mean that if you walk up to any stunner on the street and treat her like you would any other girl, you’re automatically going to sleep with her.

Your initial cockiness might intrigue her and get you to the hook point, but very quickly she’s going to find out if you’re really as good as you pretend to be. And if you’re not her superior, she will quickly expose you.

Don't Compete with Guys on What They're Good At (Instead, Beat Them on What They're Not)

Chase Amante's picture

beat them at what they're good at
When you’re head-to-head against another guy over a girl, the last thing you want to do is try to best him at what he’s good at. Beat him on your terms, instead.

Commenting under my article “If a Girl Has Sex with You Fast, is She a Slut?”, Mike asked:

Hey chase, please I have a question to ask. I want to know how to compete with guys more handsome than me. Thanks.

It’s a good question. It echoes similar questions I’ve answered in articles and in the comments before, such as:

I don’t want to spoil the whole article, but the way you win, of course, is by not trying to beat that guy at what he’s good at.

Instead, what you must do to win is change the rules of engagement.

With the right tweaks, you can put a guy on the defensive and emerge victorious for the girl, despite almost any number of on-paper advantages he might seem to have over you.

What Tight Game Looks Like (or What It Should Look Like)

Alek Rolstad's picture

tight game
Tight game in general should be hard to say. That’s for good reason: while flashy game can be attractive, it can also attract a lot of unwanted attention.

Last week, we discussed the difficulties one may face in perceiving tight game – the elements involved and the ability to spot guys who are truly good with women. We also discussed some of the key elements that constitute true mastership compared to simple flash. And no, mastership is not about having that super-crazy routine or having girls react crazily over your approach; rather, it is about calibrating smoothly, making good calls, having your timing in check, and being able to handle logistics.

In this post, we will discuss “why” tight game should not be easily perceived. What are the benefits of being low key? Why is it a good thing that nobody sees you as the player guy? Keep on reading, because I believe this is a key subject that can’t be covered enough. It may have a direct impact on your dating and pick-up success.

How to Game Your Girlfriend: Good Advice for Your Relationship

Denton Fisher's picture

game your girlfriend
When you’re in a relationship, do you have to game your girlfriend? Yes! You need to know what to do once you’ve got her, how to keep things exciting, and what to do if it ends.

“How do I game a girlfriend?”

A pretty common question in this community.

Oftentimes mentors will respond with “You don’t game your girlfriend. It should be natural.” Well, I agree but disagree. Relationships aren’t something you can hold up with simple tactics. You have to genuinely be a cool guy so that when you run out of canned material, she’ll stick around.

I certainly think you can augment a relationship with proper understanding and tactics. There are most definitely ways to improve your relationships with women and better express what you want out of them if you know a thing or two about relationship game.

How Much Can You Masturbate If You Want to Get Laid?

Chase Amante's picture

how much should you masturbate
If you jerk off too much, what happens to your sex drive and motivation? Nothing good – but the problem is not masturbation; it’s masturbation to excess.

On an article of mine from earlier this month, a reader asked about masturbation:

Hi Chase,

Do you think masturbating destroys your drive for taking control of your life and motivation, even if you don’t watch porn?

Growing up I used to do it a lot and I was very timid, low self beleif, and hated sports, I’m wondering if that’s why? I use to do it like 3 times a day.

I do it now, but it’s more here and there. Sometimes I have days where I do it 3x, but I was wondering if I did it once a week or every other week, would that be good for my motivation and for me to start doing better in life and to be more aggressive?

A later comment on the same topic:

Chase, i watched porn and masturbated very compulsively throughout all my teenage years, as an escape from life. I was very depressed back then: there was a period that i would watch porn literally all day (i’m a high school dropout)! I’m 24 now and nowadays, the best i can go without fapping to porn is 10-11 days... and that requires A LOT of effort – i get crazy cravings, mood swings, even insomnia...and i don’t feel lust for women in real life at all, even if i find them hotter than the ones i’m seeing on my computer.

This affects not only my love life, but also my potential professional life, because my memory and concentration are terrible when i’m watching porn frequently. There was this time that i went a little over a month without fapping/watching porn and i was literally another person – no more acne, strong attraction for real women, much more sociable, fat loss, muscle gains, etc.

After that, i tried to reintroduce masturbation to porn once a week, i thought – “eh, i can manage that...”

Hah, i couldn’t! After a couple of weeks i started increasing the frequency, and after a while i was back where i was before. It has been about 2 years since then, and i didn’t manage to go over ~20 days without porn/fapping since then.

I find it very difficult to let go of porn, mainly for one thing – fetishes. I have a couple of fetishes (not porn-induced) that without porn would be very hard to fulfill. I could easily leave behind vanilla porn and any other subgenre (i rarely watch them).

I respect you and would love to hear your thoughts, even if you don’t have any advices. Cheers :)

So let’s talk about jerking your own chain. Can you do it? How much can you do it?

And what happens if you do it a little... an ordinary amount... or a lot?

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle "I Have to Find My Friends"

Chase Amante's picture

I have to find my friends
You’ve met a girl, hit it off, and invited her to leave with you. But then she tells you “I have to find my friends!” Don’t fret – there are several ways to handle this.

One of the most bone-chilling things a girl you’ve made a lot of headway with in a bar, at a party, on a beach, or in a shopping mall can tell you when you ask her to go somewhere with you is “I have to find my friends!”

It signals a likely end to this beautiful courtship you’ve enjoyed with her. Either she is going to go and not come back... or you are going to go with her and follow her around like a puppy dog for a bit, until her friends decide it is time to go and she leaves (without you).

It totally sucks. You thought you were doing great with her. But now she “has to find her friends.”

How do you handle this obstacle with finesse, and not lose the girl?

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 4: The Brolosopher

Hector Castillo's picture

brolosopher
The brolosopher: smart guy, easygoing diction and delivery. Sharp, savvy, but cool and social. If you want to use that big brain well, it’s time for some brolosophy.

A few years back, I was in a car with my friend. One moment, I was talking about something really deep and profound. I don’t remember what it was, but I do know that the next moment, I made some crass comment about women in some really uneducated language.

My friend, who was driving, laughed hysterically. The juxtaposition of my two stories was pretty strange.

Turning to me, he said in a loving voice, “Hector, you’re the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

I didn’t know it at the time, but there was something in what he said. It was the secret to being smart but also socially dominant, physically dominant, and relatable.

And that’s the crux of what this series is about. If you haven’t already, you can (and should) read the previous articles here:

If you don’t want to go full dumbass with women and socializing (which might hurt boyfriend potential), here’s how you hybridize intelligence and base behavior.

It’s my favorite personality that this entity called Hector sometimes adopts.

How Much Do You Actually Need to Know About Girls to Get Them?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

know about girls
Must you be an expert on women to excel with them? Of course not… yet there are different kinds of expertise, and they have different effects on your odds with women.

I have a lot of fun building mental models of how other folks think, feel, and act that are as accurate as I can get them. As you may notice from comments by female readers on some of my articles, I’m generally pretty on-the-mark.

Yet something I found myself thinking about recently was “How well do you actually need to understand women to date them and bed them?”

It’s an interesting question. And not as easy to answer as you might think... because there are different kinds of “understanding women”, and different kinds of “doing well with women.”