Social Skills

Women love men who step boldly forward in the face of uncertainty. An ‘active’ man can dig deeper into her truth, getting her to reveal more than she does to most men.

Back when I was struggling with women, I had a moment of crisis. I asked myself, “What am I even doing?” I broke down, ready to quit.

I was getting ready to head out one night, and the weight of everything hit me all at once. I had to grit my teeth and face the fact that what I was trying to accomplish might not be possible. I was an ordinary guy, and even ordinary guys have an absolute limit that my goals seemed to be beyond. Thoughts repeated in my head that it was impossible, unrealistic, and hurting me for no reason.

I was shaken, but I finished getting ready, strapped on my belt, tossed on my jacket, stepped into the wind outside, and traveled to the nightlife. I stoically persisted, with no reasoning, no decision, no plan, just one thing (or is it two?): a habit and a deep resolve forged from facing those struggles.

A great way to initiate touch in a club is to make her anticipate and desire it before it happens. You can do this with your vibe, eye contact, body language, and more.

In my previous two articles, I discussed the right kind of touch and awareness you need when in a club. Today I’ll tell you how to combine these two ideas into moves so you can get physical with ease.

Here are those articles:

• How to Transition to Touch in the Middle of a Seduction
• Club Game: Get Noticed and Make the Right Impression with Girls

I’ve explained that women have an awareness radius of five meters or so and line of sight to areas like other sections of the club, walkways, bars, and entrances. Their awareness radius lets them track you (if they feel their tracking you will be interpreted positively by you and others). If you want to convey intent via subcommunication and body language cues, you need to give to her the impression that you favor the idea of her tracking you.

Combining this with the goal of touch becomes “creating an experience by evoking the sensation of touch through anticipation rather than contact.”

Interesting idea. But how is it accomplished?

Women are attracted to confidence, and anxiety is the opposite of confidence. So if women don’t find anxiety sexy, but it’s a normal feeling, what can we do about it?

Having recently lost a lover because of anxious thoughts, I figured it would be useful to cover how to address anxiety with women and dating.

While anxiety is a normal human emotion, some people feel it more than others. It’s a terrible weakness to display around a woman and is the opposite emotion from a “turn-on” and sexual excitement.

Think back to your most memorable sexual experiences, if you’ve had some. Was anxiety present? Would anxiety have helped the experience? If yes, did the anxiety make the situation better?

Most likely, your best experiences around women involve no anxiety at all. But if you’ve had experiences that did include anxiety, and I’ve had many, I can attest that these moments become question marks in women’s eyes.

Anxiety, especially if it shows up at critical moments like the first kiss or the first escalation, can ruin your chances to get a woman and keep seeing her.

Men will often experience anxiety and nervousness in critical moments during a seduction:

• The approach
• The first date
• The pull home
• The first kiss and first sexual escalation

On the journey of getting better with women, men must train themselves to never feel anxiety around women, particularly in the critical moments mentioned above. As a rule, it’s best to avoid showing any anxiety around a woman you want to be sexual with.

The ability to convey ideas makes the difference between winners and losers. To win at life, learn how to improve your communication, when speaking AND listening.

For most people, learning how to improve communication is the most useful skill they could ever develop. I know because it’s been my primary academic study for nearly 15 years and I've seen the transformative effects in both myself and my clients.

Masterful communication has taken me from an insecure, anxiety-ridden weirdo to a world-traveling author, dating consultant, and life coach. So, yeah, it’s a pretty useful skill.

Masterful Communication

Why does someone win a position like the presidency of a country? How does an average Joe pick up a girl three notches hotter than himself? How does a man with a keyboard make a living tapping words into websites?

Communication is powerful. Yet so many of us suck moose balls at it. And we suffer for it.

It’s not just personal relationships that suffer, like bickering husbands and wives. Epic wars are fought and countless millions butchered over systems of belief. Those who most effectively communicate their "rightness" (albeit largely subjective or even straight propaganda) have a distinct advantage.

But more to the point of this article, many people are suffering from small, individual battles with lovers, bosses, brothers, sisters, etc. simply because they’re terrible communicators. So, apart from picking up women or maintaining a healthy balance of power in a relationship, the value of improving communication is priceless when it comes to all aspects of life. Let's go over a few.

If you want a loyal, passionate girlfriend, find yourself an alpha female. Or if you want to snag a hottie from a group, you best know how to appease her alpha friend.

An alpha female is a woman in charge of her female group or a group of men AND women. She doesn’t need to be a socialite who is always playing mother hen. Alpha females are not necessarily bitches or mean, controlling women.

You can be in control of yourself and those around you without being "controlling."

We know this about alpha males. They aren’t always the caricature meathead or tyrannical character we imagine when you hear “alpha male.” The best alpha male is very kind, loving, and compassionate. However, alpha males will step up and take charge when they need or want to. In relationships, they are leaders; and in their social circles, they are often leaders as well.

Alpha females are also leaders, usually of their female groups. Some alpha females can also lead men in their social circles, even if it’s from the back. This happens because most women are more refined than most men with their social skills, charisma, and sexuality. Most men are guys, not men. They have penises and play the part of a man, but when it matters, they are eunuchs. They will go full simp and submit to her rule.

Like an alpha male, an alpha female can be the alpha in one scenario and not the alpha in another (e.g., with a different group), as you would need to be an omnipotent god to be the alpha in all scenarios.

If women are alphas, they have certain characteristics. You can tell in which contexts and groups they are considered alphas. There are alpha characteristics and alpha signals to look for in groups. I will cover both.

Why should you care if she is an alpha female? Don’t we want women who will submit to us?

Yes, we want women to submit, but we may not always want submissive women. There is a distinction.

As long as they are absent of toxic traits and aren’t so aggressive or ambitious that they are essentially men, alpha females make the best girlfriends. And they are usually the most interesting women out there.

You mad, bro? Do you allow other people and things to throw off your groove? Learn to control anger, and you’ll reap the many benefits of a level head.

Why is it possible for some men to control their anger, while others rage at the slightest annoyance? Is anger something we can harness and use for personal growth, or is it completely useless?

The Road Rager

When I think of a man who struggled to control anger, I think of my father.

In my early twenties, I worked for him as a furnace repairman. We’d drive from house to house, repairing broken heaters, always under stress to reach these jobs on time.

Traffic was usually busy, and my dad was a road rager. I recall one of many occasions when we were on the freeway, and a car merged in front of us. It was a little too slow for my chain-smoking speeder dad, so he went full red zone, flew up beside this car, rolled down his window and screamed, “Where the f%#k did you learn to drive a$$hole!?”

This time, it was an eighty-year-old woman. He calmed down as if nothing had happened and went back to driving.

In the three years I worked for him, I witnessed many similar situations where he lost control. Sometimes he’d get out of the van to storm off toward someone, and I’d think he’d be better suited as a swordsman in a Roman legion.

He wasn’t always violent. He’d just become annoyed at anything he perceived as idiocy. The toast wasn’t perfect? He’d call the manager over and point it out while I sat there, red-faced. He just really couldn’t control anger, and I couldn’t relate at all. Maybe that’s why I rarely get very angry, and see it as silly.

A quality social circle does a lot for you: connects you, loves you, helps you win at life. These tips provide simple ways to join one or build one from scratch.

Some of the best times of my life were when I had a large social circle filled with awesome people.

Yes, there are benefits to being a loner, too, especially if you need to do deep work, but having an awesome social circle full of interesting people can be incredibly rewarding.

Introvert or Extrovert?

To be noted, I’m what you’d call an introvert. It’s not a crippling disorder or anything; I just like my alone time. In my coaching experience, I’ve found most men who are drawn to the seduction community are also introverted. And many use this as an excuse for not going out or having an active social circle. The result is they never get laid (without paying for it).

If this is you, that’s cool. You can be introverted, but you can also put on your extrovert hat, which metaphorically may be a flat cap or a top hat or one of those deals with a propeller on top. Whatever you have, just pick it up and try it on. Pretend to be an extrovert just to see what it feels like, what the benefits are of a more social life. Trust me, depending on the sort of group you align with, there can be many.