Social Commentary

Girls teach you a lot when you try to talk to them, date them, or pick them up. They’re among the greatest teachers you’ll have, in fact.

In Drexel’s post yesterday on the top 3 reasons to pick up sober, he discussed pickup as a crucible through which you may purge demons and unlock total masculinity.

There are a few areas of life that shape and mold boys into men in their own unique ways:

• Group leadership (sports, clubs, politics, priesthood, military)
• Business operation (or in particular, business ownership)
• Teaching
  
• Fatherhood
• Cold approach pickup
  

None of these are guarantees. Plenty of men make it through any of these crucibles with gaping holes in their masculinity.

• The talented seducer who sobs over yet another girlfriend who’s ditched him, or flies into a rage when some girl dares reject him.

• The father who fails to discipline his children out of fear and instead raises dysfunctional adults.

• The leader who’s a leader in name only, and never learns to look out for anyone more than himself.

• The teacher who’s only in it for the paycheck, the power, or to indoctrinate and inculcate, versus the instructor who exists to challenge, spark curiosity, and open minds.
  

• The business operator or owner who cuts corners and does anything for a buck, leaving a trail of burned contractors, employees, and customers in his wake.

However the man who takes his cultivation serious can grow enormously in any of these roles... Far more so than he can in any other way.

That’s because central to each of these roles are two elements as crucial to succeeding with women as they are to succeeding as a man: the social crucible, and responsibility for more than one’s self.

Check the nightlife, and you’ll see almost every guy out to pick up girls is drunk or high. If you can do it sober, you give yourself a major competitive advantage.

Do you blaze, drink, or do lines when you go out and hit the club to chat up girls?

One year ago, William Gupta talked about the truth about taking drugs and hooking up.

After a decade in the Game, I've noticed something striking - almost nobody is sober. When guys learn and practice pick-up, they tend to be drunk, stoned, or both... and a lot of the guys gaming in clubs are, to put it bluntly, doing coke in the bathrooms in order to keep themselves "up" for the long haul of partying and hitting on women until 2 in the morning.

Before you think I'm just being some prude who can't have a good time, let me preface what I'm about to say by mentioning that I struggled with various forms of addiction for a full decade. I've been through the depths of that hell, I know what the demons look and sound like in your head, and I know precisely what kind of blade a man needs to sever them in half and regain his life from the abyss.

Now, before I get into my top 3 reasons to practice pick-up sober, I'll briefly explain why I think so many guys can't seem to perform this art without a little "chemical help" of some type. I believe that the primary reason so many guys do pick-up stoned or drunk... which REALLY became clear once I cleaned up my act and started living the sober life... is that pick-up is scary as hell.

Race is a touchy subject in dating and attraction. How much does it really impact your desirability? Anywhere from +19% to -30%, it turns out.

We’ve talked about race off and on at Girls Chase. My usual advice is to not worry about it too much, because you can’t change it; there are so many attraction factors you can focus on that it’s effectively not that relevant most of the time. And if you get your fundamentals tight enough, you transcend race (or negative racial effects become bonuses – “Oh! I didn’t know X race guys could be like him!”).

William talked about race here: “Everything I Know About Race and Dating Girls”, and Jerome discussed it (with a few thoughts by me) here: “Asian Guys and White Girls: The Secret to Success.” And I called out guys who focus on race (or other subjects) to the exclusion of all else here: “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK].”

At the risk of opening up a can of worms (i.e., the “my race has a negative impact, therefore I shouldn’t even try” worm can), I’d like to look at some of the actual data on racial preferences... As well as how these change with time.

Why do some men cultivate themselves to get more dates, sex, and girlfriends, while others become culture warriors? It is the yin and yang of group morality.

I started off writing an article response to a commenter’s question about how to get inside women’s heads and understand what they’re thinking and why they think it. And I’ll still complete that article at some point and post it. But while I was writing it, I branched off into another direction – into this article.

One of the biggest divides you see among readers and commenters on Girls Chase are the guys who want to know how to change to get better results with girls, and the guys who want girls to change to be and do what they want.

Usually my advice is if you’re in that latter category, you’re going to spend a lot of time feeling angry and frustrated until you move into the former category. That doesn’t mean you become undiscriminating about the girls you go for; the more desirable a man you make yourself, the choosier about girlfriends you’re able to be and the more willing those girlfriends become to bend for you. However, it does mean if you choose this path that you seek to adjust yourself, rather than chide others to adjust.

But of course, chiding others to do and be what we wish is an age-old, widespread feature of human societies. It’s ubiquitous, and almost everyone does it.

And when you see a trend like that, that should tell you this kind of chiding and castigation serves some kind of function.

Today, I want to pick apart these two sides for you: what the difference is between those who look inward, and those who look outward.

And it won’t be as simple as the former are the enlightened and the latter are the fools.

Men in STEM fields, despite their smarts, often don’t do well with girls. What’s the cause of this handicap – and what can you do about it?

STEM is an acronym for the academic disciplines of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. It is a moderately strong stereotype that men educated in these fields are socially awkward nerds who struggle with women.

Why is this the case (that STEM men are so often nerdy and awkward and not good with girls), and what can be done about it?

The author has studied math, physics, and computer science and would like to give his thoughts on this issue.

The first thing to be said about this problem is that it IS to some extent true that STEM-educated guys have problems with socializing and women, and thus the corresponding “nerd” stereotype is rather common with students and workers in such fields.

Obviously not all STEM guys have problems, and for those who do have problems, they are rarely unsolvable. The challenges STEM guys face have several different causes, and some personality traits should be reviewed before we start discussing solutions.

Before you think she’s too hot and out of your reach, consider this: “hot” for you isn’t necessarily “hot” for the next man. Beauty is subjective.

Today we will discuss briefly the latest theories on whether or not looks are subjective. We have so far discussed a lot about women’s looks and the difficulty of picking them up. The theories covered in those earlier posts concerning the correlation between looks and difficulty of pick-up are more or less based on the premise that looks are more or less objective.

We will challenge this notion a bit – and see how the subjective aspect of looks plays out on the level of difficulty:

• Is our perception of someone else’s looks subjective?

• If yes, will/can it affect the level of difficulty in picking her up?

• Is there still some objectivity left in our perception of attractiveness?

These are questions I would like to discuss in this post. Now, before I move on, I just want to make it clear to the reader that I am not a natural scientist. There will be parts of this post that biologists and other natural scientists would be able to describe more scientifically. As I do not have a lot of knowledge concerning how our DNA affects how we perceive other people, I will avoid discussing it in the first place. In other words, I will leave out the “scientific aspect”, as I believe there are better online resources on biology outside of GirlsChase.com.

I will therefore focus more on my own experiences and observations over the course of nine years in the pick-up community. The article will focus more on the seduction aspect rather than the biological aspect. The end goal of this site is, after all, to make one a better seducer.

Feminism has fast become a dominant ideology. When so many of the girls you meet have feminist leanings, should you ever actually date a feminist?

One of the more unusual phenomena we see in the West right now is that in many cases, men and women operate under divergent belief systems.

It’s quite odd, when you think about it. Most places, at most points in history, men and women operate under the same belief system, and agree on the same tenets. Usually that belief system is a religion, like Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or Shinto.

But in the absence of religion, other causes come to fill this space by inspiring a new form of religious belief or fervor. Any time something has an -ism attached to its name, it stands a reasonable chance of coming to occupy religious-level importance to people.

One such example is feminism.

Feminism has reached a degree in the West where non-believers are immediately ‘othered’ by the more hardcore adherents of the philosophy. It has its own truths, like the wage-gap and ‘rape culture’, that are immune to facts and statistics and have moved beyond scientific falsifiability. And it engenders a particularly combative relationship between the sexes.

The purpose of this site is not to either support or combat feminism; feminism comes and goes through history, and is a perpetual feature of advanced, wealthy, safe societies. The purpose of this site is to give you useful tools to make better life decisions.

And the one we’ll talk about today is this: should you ever date a girl who subscribes to feminism... or any other -ism diametrically opposed to your own beliefs?