Social Commentary

The Two Sides

pua vs. manosphere
Why do some men cultivate themselves to get more dates, sex, and girlfriends, while others become culture warriors? It is the yin and yang of group morality.

I started off writing an article response to a commenter’s question about how to get inside women’s heads and understand what they’re thinking and why they think it. And I’ll still complete that article at some point and post it. But while I was writing it, I branched off into another direction – into this article.

One of the biggest divides you see among readers and commenters on Girls Chase are the guys who want to know how to change to get better results with girls, and the guys who want girls to change to be and do what they want.

Usually my advice is if you’re in that latter category, you’re going to spend a lot of time feeling angry and frustrated until you move into the former category. That doesn’t mean you become undiscriminating about the girls you go for; the more desirable a man you make yourself, the choosier about girlfriends you’re able to be and the more willing those girlfriends become to bend for you. However, it does mean if you choose this path that you seek to adjust yourself, rather than chide others to adjust.

But of course, chiding others to do and be what we wish is an age-old, widespread feature of human societies. It’s ubiquitous, and almost everyone does it.

And when you see a trend like that, that should tell you this kind of chiding and castigation serves some kind of function.

Today, I want to pick apart these two sides for you: what the difference is between those who look inward, and those who look outward.

And it won’t be as simple as the former are the enlightened and the latter are the fools.

Why Do STEM-Educated Men Have a Harder Time Meeting Women?

STEM meet girls
Men in STEM fields, despite their smarts, often don’t do well with girls. What’s the cause of this handicap – and what can you do about it?

STEM is an acronym for the academic disciplines of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. It is a moderately strong stereotype that men educated in these fields are socially awkward nerds who struggle with women.

Why is this the case (that STEM men are so often nerdy and awkward and not good with girls), and what can be done about it?

The author has studied math, physics, and computer science and would like to give his thoughts on this issue.

The first thing to be said about this problem is that it IS to some extent true that STEM-educated guys have problems with socializing and women, and thus the corresponding “nerd” stereotype is rather common with students and workers in such fields.

Obviously not all STEM guys have problems, and for those who do have problems, they are rarely unsolvable. The challenges STEM guys face have several different causes, and some personality traits should be reviewed before we start discussing solutions.

Is She Too Hot? Well, Looks are Subjective

looks are subjective
Before you think she’s too hot and out of your reach, consider this: “hot” for you isn’t necessarily “hot” for the next man. Beauty is subjective.

Today we will discuss briefly the latest theories on whether or not looks are subjective. We have so far discussed a lot about women’s looks and the difficulty of picking them up. The theories covered in those earlier posts concerning the correlation between looks and difficulty of pick-up are more or less based on the premise that looks are more or less objective.

We will challenge this notion a bit – and see how the subjective aspect of looks plays out on the level of difficulty:

  • Is our perception of someone else’s looks subjective?

  • If yes, will/can it affect the level of difficulty in picking her up?

  • Is there still some objectivity left in our perception of attractiveness?

These are questions I would like to discuss in this post. Now, before I move on, I just want to make it clear to the reader that I am not a natural scientist. There will be parts of this post that biologists and other natural scientists would be able to describe more scientifically. As I do not have a lot of knowledge concerning how our DNA affects how we perceive other people, I will avoid discussing it in the first place. In other words, I will leave out the “scientific aspect”, as I believe there are better online resources on biology outside of GirlsChase.com.

I will therefore focus more on my own experiences and observations over the course of nine years in the pick-up community. The article will focus more on the seduction aspect rather than the biological aspect. The end goal of this site is, after all, to make one a better seducer.

Is It Ever Okay to Date a Feminist?

date a feminist
Feminism has fast become a dominant ideology. When so many of the girls you meet have feminist leanings, should you ever actually date a feminist?

One of the more unusual phenomena we see in the West right now is that in many cases, men and women operate under divergent belief systems.

It’s quite odd, when you think about it. Most places, at most points in history, men and women operate under the same belief system, and agree on the same tenets. Usually that belief system is a religion, like Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or Shinto.

But in the absence of religion, other causes come to fill this space by inspiring a new form of religious belief or fervor. Any time something has an -ism attached to its name, it stands a reasonable chance of coming to occupy religious-level importance to people.

One such example is feminism.

Feminism has reached a degree in the West where non-believers are immediately ‘othered’ by the more hardcore adherents of the philosophy. It has its own truths, like the wage-gap and ‘rape culture’, that are immune to facts and statistics and have moved beyond scientific falsifiability. And it engenders a particularly combative relationship between the sexes.

The purpose of this site is not to either support or combat feminism; feminism comes and goes through history, and is a perpetual feature of advanced, wealthy, safe societies. The purpose of this site is to give you useful tools to make better life decisions.

And the one we’ll talk about today is this: should you ever date a girl who subscribes to feminism... or any other -ism diametrically opposed to your own beliefs?

The Unicorn Hunter

unicorn hunter
Perfect 10s, unicorns, what have you – do they even exist? In particular, we look at American girls, and if you can still find a good one.

There’s a special kind of girl out there.

This kind of girl is perfect.

During the Pick Up Artist Era, she was known as the Perfect 10.

Debates raged across the PUA world as to whether ‘perfect 10s’ even really existed. Did they? Some men claimed 10s walked the Earth and were attainable. Other men claimed there were no such things as 10s. 7s, 8s, 9s, okay. But 10s? Perish the thought.

Now, in the Manosphere Era, they call such a girl the Unicorn.

In the Manosphere, now, we see the same debate rage as previously raged among the PUAs: do unicorns exist? Are they obtainable? Or are they but a figment of man’s imagination: the ideal woman, dreamed up yet unrealized? The female human analogue to Plato’s perfect forms, perhaps.

To answer this question of whether these ‘unicorns’ exist and whether they are obtainable, though, first we need to figure out exactly how we’re defining them, and agree on a definition... Because every man defines these ‘perfect girls’ a little bit different.

And before we do that, we should talk about why we’re even talking about unicorns in the first place.

3 Theories on a Girl’s Hotness vs. How Hard She is to Get

hot hard to get
Hot girls are the hardest to get. Or is it average-looking girls who are, paradoxically, the hardest? 3 theories dig in and explain.

Previously we challenged the notion that hot girls are always harder to get, and that the hotter they are the harder it is to date and sleep with them. To do this, we looked at six (6) different variables aside from beauty that have an impact on how difficult it is to pick her up. Those were:

  1. A girl’s personality
  2. Her mood
  3. Her sociocultural background
  4. Her social circle
  5. Where and how you meet her
  6. And her self-awareness of her looks

You can read more about these variables in my previous post. If this is the first time you’re encountering them, you will find they shed a new light on the common misconception that “hotter = harder”.

Today we will delve deeper into what makes a girl more or less difficult to date and bed. This post is all about seduction theory. We’ll have a look at different theories on how looks alone affect a girl’s level of difficulty. Thus, the main focus of this post will be on the “look variable”.

The theories covered in this post might seem contradictive to some. One theory we dissect will be on why hot women are harder to get. Another theory we’ll look at today rests on the claim that average women are harder to pick up than more attractive ones.

My opinion on such theories is that they are all more or less correct and do not contradict each other – they just explain two different phenomenon.

A Few Thoughts on MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Ways

MGTOW
What is the MGTOW movement all about? Do MGTOWs reject women, love, sex, and society? Or is the phenomenon about something else...?

On my article “Quit Letting Girls Off the Hook So Much”, Jimbo asks for my take on the MGTOW movement:

That whole MGTOW movement. It seems to have gained steam lately. Their two main talking points are: – Women want to spend their prime years screwing around bad boys and then when they become less desirable they want to settle down with a good man to provide for them. So screw it, I’m not gonna be neither! – Marriage is a trap wherein in a woman grabs her man by the nuts because of all the divorce laws that favor her hugely nowadays and also because of her greedy nature. So screw it, no marriage from this guy!

Yeah, the whole MGTOW thing is an interesting phenomenon.

I’ve clashed with MGTOWs on occasion when they get into the whole ‘rah rah join our cause’ routine... I’m not really the club-joining sort.

But the rah rah MGTOWs aren’t necessarily representative of the movement overall. So what I’d like to do today is take a look at the ‘men going their own way’ movement and share some thoughts on it from a somewhat broader perspective.

How Dominant Men Approach Business, Pleasure, and Life

dominant men
A dominant man is one who wins. He’s one who holds sway over his dominion. And he does it with his aims, responsibility, interdependence, and victory.

In my article on having girls come join you, a commenter named Max asks the following:

Hey,

This is a totally off topic question, but in all articles regarding, being powerful, dominant and sexy, I could only pick out physical attributes such as slower body movements etc. Can you just describe his attitude and how he look at life, and how can I become one too, through day to day activities. Thanks!

This is a fun question for me. I rank dominance of his own life and sphere as a quality at the apogee of man’s cultivation. The man who holds true dominion over his endeavors is the closest man can ever get to absolute freedom. Combine this dominance with a clear moral character and you have a man who not only gets what he wants, but attracts, inspires, and leads, as well.

How you come to possess this attitude of striving toward dominion, and the kind of clarity and magnetism that surround it and intertwine with it, is what we’ll talk about today.

Are All Women Slaves to Hypergamy?

hypergamy
Hypergamy is her tendency to date or marry ‘up’. She wants the best, richest, highest status guy she can get, they say. But science disagrees.

One of the memes of the manosphere is that the women of Western society are ardently in pursuit of the wealthiest, highest status man they can get. The qualities women are said to prize most of all include:

  • Wealth
  • Status
  • Looks
  • Fame
  • Other forms of power

Manosphere pundits call this phenomenon ‘hypergamy’.

‘Hypergamy’ originally described the practice of marriage into a higher social or economic class by women. The manosphere has expanded that definition to describe women’s desire for and tendency to pursue men who are their ‘betters’ in some way or another for hook ups and relationships, as well as marriage.

I’m not a fan of the manosphere alpha-beta redefinition, but I have no qualms with its expanded definition of hypergamy. Seems like a natural fit for the term, especially in our present sexual/romantic environment.

So, let’s discuss.

Is hypergamy bad for you?

How big are its effects?

And, how must you adapt?

How to Survive in a Time of Moral Panic

moral panic
In a moral panic, no one is safe. Neighbors turn on neighbors, and opportunists use the panic to advance their careers. To survive the hysteria, you must be smart.

Last week I wrote an article titled “When Does ‘No’ Actually Mean ‘No’?” to help you stay smart and safe without having to hole up in a bunker and outwait an age of ambiguity and fear around sex. Today, I want to talk about survival during a general moral panic.

You may have come of age during the ‘rape culture’ witch-hunt. So this might be your first such experience with moral panic. Yet hysterias like this are a fixture of civilization.

A moral panic is a big fear that snakes through society, egged on by crusaders and amplified by the media. In a moral panic, an opportunistic minority become inquisitors in a grab for power. Meanwhile the rest of the population hunkers down and tries to wait out the storm. The few who try to fight back early on are often crushed.

Moral panics turn neighbor against neighbor. They do this by encouraging one man to condemn another for his own protection. If you accuse your neighbor of being a witch, surely you must not be one yourself.

So how do you survive a moral panic? Are you forced to keep your head down and hope no one fingers you as a boogeyman? Should you join the mob and gang up on others until the whole thing blows over, then pretend it never happened?

As I’ll lay out, these are the last things you want to do... Because they leave you defenseless against any accusations leveled against you.

Instead, you must seek to actively define yourself. You must make your identity so clear that the idea of accusing you seems not only pointless, but foolish.