Pickup

Getting past a woman’s objections to sexual escalation can be as easy as showing you understand her perspective... then reframing it into something better.

Yes, it’s possible.

In this game we call seduction, it is possible to reframe, out-frame, and smoothly redirect objections in most of the situations or scenarios we find ourselves in, to better serve our purposes as seducers.

Now, before we get into the meat of this article, let’s have a look at what reframing is and point out some common situations and examples where reframing will come in handy, as well as the mindset you need to be in to use this skill properly. Once we’ve covered these necessary primers, we can get into the nuts and bolts of how to reframe objections to your advantage.

The specifics of this technique are fairly advanced, but intermediate seducers and even motivated beginners will learn a few things from this article. However, especially when it comes to the points on the right mindset for handling roadblocks and smoothly reframing objections, I would recommend coming back and re-reading this article later on in your journey.

Once you’ve handled your fundamentals and gained more experience with meeting and bedding women, you’ll be in a position to get the most benefit from this article.

When you talk to a girl, it’s not all about the words you say. Good insight, tone, and body language speak volumes more than words ever could.

In part one of my day-game tour, I covered the proper mindset for starting out: to not give a damn what anyone thinks about you following your naughty little passions.

Now I’m going to give you some practical advice so you can get started right away, meeting women in the daytime, on the street, at the mall, the bookstore, the Vietnamese happy-ending massage parlor. The world is your moist and succulent oyster.

How to Open a Girl in Day Game

Opening simply means to start a conversation or interaction. It means saying from “Hi” to “Oh my god, look at that albino midget.” Or even just farting in someone’s general direction.

There are two basic types of verbal openers: direct and indirect. Under the heading of indirect, we also have situational openers, which are my personal favorite. I’ll cover these situations with examples from my own wonderful life.

She’s super flirty or grinding you on the dance floor. So you reciprocate... but she quickly loses interest. How in blazes does one take these freaky girls to bed?

Hey, guys. Now that I’m done with my series on hooking, I can finally allow myself to move on to my next project. However, for now, I’ve decided to spend a bit of time responding to some great questions from our readership.

Here is one of those questions, from Lawliet:

When a girl makes a direct statement of interest or sexual flirting, such as:

    Her: “I did something sexy today.”

    You: “What did you do?”

    Her: “I’ll show you.”

    Her: *sits on your face*

Or this happens through role play over text – you get the idea.

When they talk like that in person, or over text, what is your way of approaching this?

Jump on her? But what if it’s over text? Invite her out?

That feels a little too reactive.

[And when you decide to react]:

    You: *jump on her*

    Her: “Hold your horses, sweetheart, and maybe you’ll get some tonight ;)”

Then we’re stuck there, hung out to dry.

Would love to hear some examples from you on girls taking the sexually aggressive role verbally. How do we not kill the tension while keeping the mating dance going? I honestly love this flirting back and forth.

This is a great question because there is a technical element at play here. I know exactly what type of situation Lawliet is talking about, and if you haven’t seen this yourself, let me illustrate with a more extreme and even more frustrating example.

Ever have a girl hit you with a "gotcha" question, at the worst possible moment? You had just asked her out, or to come home with you, or got to bed. Then – GOTCHA!

Under my article on women not counting men they've slept with, SZ asked:

"How do we not get into the settle down relationship thing ? A girl might admit she's a slut, but she'll say something like, "you have to promise me you'll stay with me if we have sex, you have to tell me you won't leave me, will you leave me? Will you be my boyfriend? Etc.""

These are what we call "gotcha" questions. Women will hit you with them when you least expect it, and are worst prepared for it. They're tests... aimed at you at the most inconvenient of moments.

Example "gotcha" questions include:

• You're about to sleep with her, but she stops you to ask you if you'll be her boyfriend

• You ask her out, and she says "okay", then says "Wait, what will we do on this date?"

• You give her a drink, and she asks "You're not trying to get me drunk, are you?"

• You invite her home with you, and she asks "Are you trying to have sex with me?"

• You move to kiss her and she stops you to say "This is as far as we go, right?"

I'm sure you've seen other similar questions too.

These questions may be conscious traps. Or the girl may just find her in a suddenly uncertain situation, and want a little clarity from you.

Regardless her reason for asking though, the effect on you can often amount to "Geez, what do I say here?"

Beaches are laden with scantily-clad girls with nothing better to do than watch your stuff. If clubs aren’t your thing – or even if they are – find yourself a beach!

The beach is probably the best place in the world for meeting sexy, receptive, barely-dressed women. Better than a nightclub? Hell yeah, bro. I argue they’re way better, less expensive, and easier.

My recent exploits include a trip to Thailand, where I basically lived on beaches for seven weeks and went on a date with a new, beautiful girl almost every day. I also grew up in a small town that was nestled between two beaches. Suffice to say, I know beach game.

You might be thinking you don’t have ripped abs, your legs are too skinny, or whatever other limiting belief(s) you grasp on to. Sure, women like fit men, but they also like brave men, funny men, intelligent men, and charming men. I’m not tall or ripped myself – and I slay at the beach, and you can too.

Hooking girls in is just part of the great seduction algorithm, yet it contains millions of lines of code (‘cause, you know, girls). Let’s debug some common issues.

Hey, guys!

So, this is my final post in this series. It will cover the troubleshooting aspect – i.e., what to do if you fail to hook – before I provide you with a hooking “cheat-sheet” to help you pull it all together.

If you have made it through this long series, then I congratulate you! You now have the knowledge to approach girls and immerse them in a conversation with you, so that you can allow yourself to convey attractive traits and push the whole process forward – hopefully, all the way from first meeting to sexy time.

But sometimes, things will not go as planned. This is what we will discuss first.

Hooking: Troubleshooting

You approach a group of girls in the hopes of hooking them in so that you can seduce them fully. You have the confidence to walk up to them. A few scenarios can happen, which we will list below, followed by a few troubleshooting steps for when things go wrong.

Editor’s Note: this is our first post from Tony Depp, a seasoned dating coach who has schooled students in North America, Asia, and Europe for over a decade. He also runs his own blog and has authored two highly-rated books (links below). Here’s Tony! –BT

Approaching women during the day is the go-to for many eminent pickup artists. Tony Depp begins this series by sharing some key mindsets for success.

The first time I approached a girl was in high school. It was terrifying and awful.

Her name was Summer. Every day, like a creepy stalker, I watched her from afar in the school hallway. All that beautiful blonde hair, that perky nose, those ski-jump breasts. I was sixteen years old then, and there were no resources for men. No forums, PUA blogs, YouTube, or online courses. If you sucked with girls, the only thing you had to learn from was your own experience.

So one fine day, I found my balls and rallied the courage to approach her. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something like, “Hi, err… uh, hi. I wanted… umm….” I stood there with my adrenalized heart pounding, lips quivering, sweat forming on my forehead.

And her reply was, “Are you okay?”

I awkwardly turned and fled in shame and embarrassment. For the rest of the school year, I’d see her crossing the hallway from her locker to class, and that familiar adrenaline rush would rise up, internal chatter telling me to stay in my place, to be seen and not heard.

This was my very first attempt at day game. I carried that shame with me for many years before I discovered the pickup community in 2006.

Back then, almost all the information was about how to pick up girls at nighttime, at bars, clubs, and parties. Mystery and Style were the big dogs and they said to hit up the bars, so I did.

For almost two years, I went out seven nights a week, pushing myself to approach women in groups, to be more assertive, witty, entertaining, and confident. I eventually became very good at cold approach pickup, but only in bars.

I’d joined a local PUA (pickup artist) group called The Montreal Lair. On this forum were many men trying to learn how to be successful with women. All of them were focused exclusively on night game, except for one guy – I’ll call him Ricky.

He was a self-proclaimed day-gamer. Back then, day game wasn’t even a thing, but he claimed he was sleeping with a new girl or two each week, simply by complimenting them with a direct opener. Something like, “Hi. I just thought you were sexy and had to meet you. I’m Ricky.”

It was hard to believe. So we met up and I asked him to demonstrate. He said, “Sure thing, bro!” and took me to the nearest intersection. Before long, a pretty girl passed by and Ricky went jogging up to her. She stopped, laughed at his banter, and a few minutes later, he returned with her phone number. I was impressed. But not enough to try it myself – not yet.