Investment

You must know how to calibrate yourself to women to excel with them. This means you need to know how to read her signals, punish/reward, persist, and more.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where I covered some aspects that, in my opinion, good seducers have in common. One of those was having good calibration.

A few days later, a reader (drfeelg00d) asked the following:

“Calibration: Your game is indirect and based on the reaction of the girls. The examples about calibration that you gave in this article are quite basic (no criticism!)...

For instance, on a macro level:

How do you calibrate considering the girls overall personality (shy, outgoing, experienced, inexperienced, young, old, artist or career type of girl etc…) Do you always stick to the same vibe or do you for instance add some aloofness to it, depending on the type of girl? On a micro level:

How do you calibrate to specific responses to you, say, in the beginning the famous red-yellow-green scheme? Then later, if she denies a compliance test, what if she rejects a frame set by one of your gambits?”

These are very good questions indeed. In my opinion, I believe what drfeelg00d refers to as the micro level is the most important aspect. I will therefore discuss this first and put more emphasis on it in this post. I will discuss what he refers to as the “macro level” in my next post.

This post will be pretty content-packed, and I may go a bit too quickly for some. If that is the case, let me know in the comment section if anything is unclear, and I will make a new post to elaborate. A cup of coffee or tea is recommended before reading this one. That said, I think this post is worth your time, no matter the girl, your skill level, or where you meet the girls.

First things first: Regarding calibration. It is one of the hardest subjects to cover, as the nuances are infinite. The best way to become calibrated is through field experience, which entails failing and succeeding – and sadly, most of the time failing. But the end benefits are worth it. Being a smooth and calibrated seducer is so key, and also something pleasurable to become!

That said, this post, in addition to my upcoming posts, will give you clues and advice that will ease up the process. But again… experience… going out and meeting women… there are no other ways around it.

Gratitude is a strong signifier of a socially calibrated individual. Not only does it help your interactions, but it increases your attractiveness, too.

This Thanksgiving, I figured I’d talk about gratitude.

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

Girls won’t always agree to move with you, sit with you, or head somewhere else. If you’re not afraid of a little risk, though, you can often change their minds.

Hey, guys. I hope you are all doing well.

And I hope you found my posts on attention seekers useful (part 1; part 2). The first post examined the underlying mechanisms, where we had a quick look at female psychology, and the follow-up discussed the technicalities (how to deal with the issue at hand by using her strong desire for attention against her to generate attraction and compliance).

The techniques covered were mostly based on concepts such as showing mixed signals and taking away the attention from her through disqualification and rapport breaking. Those techniques can be useful in most settings.

Additionally, the techniques covered do have a general “attraction-building effect” on most girls, but they happen to work even better with attention seekers. The more attention seeking, the more dynamite the results, even to the point where her desire for attention reaches new heights, which she would be willing to fulfill through sex.

In this post, I will share a technique that is very simple on paper but may require some calibration. The techniques covered will serve as a resistance buster for whenever you are trying to move her (to isolate her or actually extract her back to your place). This is a form of resistance that is especially common among attention seekers. They resist being isolated with you, because becoming isolated with you results in lower amounts of attention for them (other men will be less likely to hit on an isolated girl and give her the attention she truly seeks). Same thing goes for extraction, which basically means “the attention seeking is over.”

Two notes to make before moving on:

• Just like in my previous post regarding attention seekers, this technique can be used on most girls, although it will have more effect on attention seekers. It is key to emphasize this.

• This strategy is fit for night game (bars and clubs). It can also be used at parties (extended social circle). I haven’t really tried this with day game. I didn’t really have to, as usually resistance toward isolation and extraction in day game is more genuine because of a lack of rapport or logistical hoops (she actually has plans to go somewhere). In night game, however (clubs being the sanctuary for attention seekers), there will be many attention seekers, and that’s where this post will come in handy.

Just because she’s a flighty, flirty attention seeker doesn’t mean she can’t be gotten. You just need to switch up your approach to get her a bit.

Welcome back, guys. This is a follow up to last week’s post where we covered the psychology and the underlying factors of female attention-seeking behavior. Part 1 covered all the whys, and is therefore recommended reading before this article. This post will be less theoretical and more practical, covering how to deal with female attention seekers – and actually manage to bed them. So this is a more technical post.

Fun fact: October and September have been months where I have encountered this type of girl in clubs and managed to successfully bed them.

• I have had 2 recent cases where the strategies covered in this post were implemented. In those cases, I managed to smoothly and successfully bang both girls.

• There was an additional case where I did not apply the strategies covered in this post. In fact, I tried doing something else. It did not work and I failed at pulling. So I’ll use this girl as a sort of “control group” in order to find correlations and identify the effects of the techniques presented here and how they help with attention seekers.

Now, I know some of you guys like to get outright scientific about stuff like this. And I realize that 3 cases may not be a very representative selection, sure. However, to my defense, I have had many similar experiences in the past (been doing this for 10 years) that more or less reflect the same pattern as what we’ll be discussing. This post is based on my overall observations, using those 3 cases to best exemplify the techniques, which seem to work out pretty fine if you ask me.

Without any further ado, let us get into it. The strategies presented in this post are inspired by the old-school seducer Swinggcat and his book Real World Seduction.

If she eludes your dates, it can feel tempting to ping her regularly to make sure she doesn’t forget you. Yet there are better follow-up strategies than this.

A reader writes in:

“Chase,

First off, I really value your dating advice; it’s rooted in logic and psychology and that’s how I operate.  It resonates in a big way with me.

So my scenario/question...

There is this one girl.

I’ve known her for about 2 years, but we never hooked up because one of us has always been in a relationship.  I own an organic juice bar and she actually came into the store the other day.  Attraction was definitely strong and she extended her number to me.

We went on a date a few days later; local, food, drinks and just established rapport and comfort.  Of course my end game was to get intimate with her, but it didn’t happen.  I was sort of bummed.  No good night kiss?  I can’t remember the last time that happened.  After the date we texted and I asked if I could call her and I did.  We basically stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours, sort of continuing the date convo.

I asked her on the phone, “Why no kiss?”.  She mentioned that she is shy, that she is attracted to me, the fact that I was on antibiotics for strep throat (day 6) bothered her a bit.  We also talked about how she is a bit messed up from an ex and that recently, she was actually falling for someone hard and chased him but it didn’t work out because he doesn’t want a girlfriend.

I’ve been trying to set up date 2 but it hasn’t happened yet.  I’m just keeping the texts short, direct, nonchalant, non predictable non needy, etc.

I really think she is just hung up on this guy (the one she was recently intimate with and doesn’t want a girlfriend) and after some time I’ll be able to meet her again and put the moves on her.  I’m confident once we’re intimate she will be chasing me.

However, I am by no means not seeing other girls.  I always keep about 3-4 in the rotation so I’m not lonely on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night.

MY QUESTION – Texting is such low effort as is Instagram and DM and things of that nature.  Is it ok to use these methods once in awhile to keep a “girl in the loop”?  I feel that timing is everything sometimes and this may be a method to grab her attention at the most opportune time.  What are your thoughts on this?  I’m not sitting home pining over her.  I just feel like the end goal is so close within reach and don’t want to completely give up.  If this is a viable method for achieving my end goal what would you recommend?  Frequency, context, things of that nature?

Thanks you for you time!”

This is a great question. You get some progress with a girl, it feels like it’s close, but then it doesn’t happen. She doesn’t come out on dates, but she still responds to your messages.

So the question is: do you ping her from time to time to see if she’s available and changed her mind? Or do you not? And if you do, how often?

Each girl needs you to show a somewhat different amount of interest in her at different phases of the courtship. There are 3 keys to this: her interest, her type, and calibration.

A few weeks back, a reader commenting on my article “The Single Guy’s Guide to Starting Fresh in a New City” asked a few questions, including this one:

“How to show interest while maintaining a sense of mystery and make her wonder whether or not you like her?”

The only short answer to that question is ‘it depends’. It’s calibration. Some girls you show more interest in, some girls less.

The long answer involves a few steps: you need to know how interested she is, you need to know whether she responds better to aloof men or interested men, and you need to calibrate accordingly.

When a girl does something good, you can reward her with a cheek kiss… and open up the floodgates of romantic and sexual potential.

This is a fun little tactic I’ve employed over the years that does a lot of good things for you.

The tactic is simple: when she does something you like, give her a peck on the cheek, neck, shoulder, or lips.

There’s a little nuance to it, because the power of the kiss will be tied to the level of investment she gives you. The bigger the investment, the weightier the kiss. The lesser the investment, the lesser the kiss.

I’m going to do a quick section to tell you why this is good. And then I’ll give you a few examples of how and where you’d use it.