Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 3: Your Approach and Vibe

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

meet girls in a gay bar
In gay bars, you don’t want to be an approach machine. Instead, it’s often best to let girls come to you. Also vital here: your vibe and conversation topics.

Welcome back. This is part 3 in my series on how to meet girls in gay bars. You may read parts 1 and 2 here:

In this post, I will start getting into the whole “how to seduce in a gay club” thing, but keep in mind that this will not be a seduction guide from A to Z.

Most of the usual seduction rules still apply in gay venues. I remember the times I’ve brought skilled seducers into the gay environment, such as when Pablo Garcia visited me a few weeks back and asked me how to work these venues. I usually tell guys to do what they would normally do. Truth is, it doesn’t take much time to figure out the dynamics in these venues. You will not be seducing dudes, you will be seducing bisexual and straight women. It is not that different from what you would usually do.

It is just the environment that changes. In the case of a bar, only the crowd has changed, but you still have to deal with usual “bar vibe” related things. For instance, with clubs, you still have to deal with wildcards, noise, chaos, and all that good stuff.

Overall, things are more or less the same, with the only exception being that big chunks of the crowd will be gay.

So in this post, we will discuss the elements that are unique to the gay environment as they relate to seduction. I will cover the things you will have to keep in mind when hunting in this community.

Basically, I will cover a set of rules. In my next post, I will cover how you can work through each phase of the seduction and cover the elements that are specific to this environment.

Anyway, let us get back on point.

If You Want to Get Good, Shut Up and Listen

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

shut up and listen
There are tons of great dating and self-improvement advice to turn yourself into a slick Casanova. But how many guys actually listen?

The inspiration for this article came from reading the Girls Chase forums, where I’ve noticed various flame wars initiated over the years by certain users who ask a detailed question about how to improve an aspect of their dating lives. The user then receives superb advice from fellow members who come with various levels of experience and angles... but the user doesn’t just ignore the angles presented, he flat-out rejects them.

Other concerned members step in and suggest that the user honestly consider the advice with an open mind – most importantly, to try it out before dismissing it.

In many cases, the advice has something to do with an obvious fundamental barrier that the asker is simply unwilling to explore. He thinks the issue isn’t important, or that it doesn’t apply to him, so he continues to ignore it, remains open only to the answers he came to hear, and eventually the discussion fizzles after everyone bails out of frustration.

Then, months later, the same forum user returns, asks the same question, and proceeds to reject the advice he is given – again. The cycle repeats.

Our friend remains in his bubble, static, unmoved, destined to repeat the same failures over and over again until he learns his lesson some other way – most likely the hard way – or never at all. That’s his choice. It's a conniving paradox. At his disposal is an invaluable resource – a group of like-minded men who will undoubtedly help him accelerate his goals. His inability to just shut up, open his mind, and trust the advice of experienced teachers and peers render his efforts practically futile.

It boggles the mind. How is a student able to judge good advice? How can a student know that a particular piece of advice is not at all applicable to him? How can someone who is seeking knowledge close his mind when multiple, experienced, well-intentioned peers are telling him the same thing?

If You Go Out to Meet Girls, You Need to be Cross Gaming

Daniel Adebayo's picture

By: Daniel Adebayo

cross gaming
Do you do day game, or night game? When you cross game – that is, do both day game AND night game – you get the benefits of both, and more.

Have you decided to start to cold approach but wonder which type to choose – day or night game?

Or maybe you’re already experienced at one or the other, and you’ve asked yourself whether it’s worth it to branch out. Should you stick to your niche... or diversify?

To put simply, should you make a choice between these two times of day, two styles of meeting women?

I believe quite firmly that the answer is to do both.

This article sums up my reasons for why you should be ‘cross gaming’.

What is cross gaming?

Cross gaming is making use of multiple avenues to meet and seduce women. While there are several ways to cross game (i.e., social circle, online, etc.), for the sake of this article, we’re going to focus on the cold-approach aspect of both day game and night game to meet and seduce women.

In this article, I’m going to explain why you should start cross gaming... if you aren’t already.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle a Bad Night at the Bar

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

bad night at the bar
Have a bad night at the bar and you may want to give up and go home. But it’s not over just because you’re off to a bad start.

Every time you step outside your door, you enter a world filled with different, random, unknown others. Some of those others will be delighted to meet you. Some will be indifferent to you. Some will be rude, dismissive, or flat-out hostile. And on any given outing, the proportions of each of these groups you meet will be somewhat random.

There are a variety of ways you can increase the odds you meet folks delighted to encounter you, and minimize the odds you meet folks who want nothing to do with you. Some of those ways include:

Yet, you won’t always be able to implement all these items. Sometimes you may want to check out a new venue, or you reach a preferred venue on an off night and discover the crowd is different from usual. Suddenly, you’re not tailored to the girls present and the environment is not so low competition.

And regardless the steps you take, there is always that element of randomness in the people you meet. Sometimes you’ll go out and every girl you talk to wants nothing to do with you. Other times you’ll go out and the second or third (or even the first) girl you talk to is all over you and ends up going home with you.

Each time you’ll be inclined to think “it’s you.” When the girls reject you left and right: “I must be really off my game tonight,” or, “Did I dress in a weird way or something? Am I putting out a weird vibe?” And when girls are all over you: “Damn, I’m good!”

Yet much of the time it’s pure chance. It’s often dumb (bad) luck when you get that string of girls who reject you all in a row. And more dumb (this time, good) luck when one of the first girls you talk to is the one you take home.

Today, I’m going to give you some tools to employ when you hit bad luck any given night. This post assumes you go out and talk to various (i.e., more than two or three) people with an intent to find a girl to take a number from or to take home. If this is not your style, it still might be an interesting read; in that case, read it through, file it away, and pull it out should you ever find yourself emboldened to meet enough girls to find that one you click with and can take home.

Who Has It Harder in 21st Century Romance: Men or Women?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

who has it harder dating
Whose dating life is harder, men’s or women’s? The answer is nuanced… because there are different groups within both sexes.

Several weeks back, I wrote “Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game.” This piece of writing was about how ‘game’ (conversational and logistical aptitude aimed at meeting, bedding, and dating women) is an organic outgrowth of complex, fast-paced urban societies.

The reason we fingered for the emergence of game was that urban societies present new opportunities for men (i.e., the ability to have sexual intercourse with lots of women), yet also new challenges (i.e., women are much more experienced with men, have many more options, and cut a lot less slack).

One of the things I mentioned in this article was that while men have it harder in urban environments, fear not – women have it harder too. Yet several commenters wanted to clarify: women may have it harder, but men have it far harder still.

Well, do men have it harder?

The answer is yes. And no.

I’m going to both agree and disagree with this “men have it harder” sentiment today. Don’t worry, if you’re currently feeling like it is far harder for you than it is for many women, I won’t be telling you you’re wrong. But I am going to show you why it is this way for you... but not for every guy in the city. Some guys have it the opposite way (i.e., it’s easier for them than it is for women).

We’re going to focus on three (3) elements of urban dating that make things harder or easier for various groups of men, as these men’s dating success compares with women’s. Those three elements are:

  1. That men and women want different things
  2. That men occupy the extremes
  3. And that what men go for in cities vs. what they go for elsewhere are different

In the end, I expect you will have a far more nuanced view of dating and mating in large urban environments, the plusses and minuses therein, and who you have to be to become one of the men who has it easier than girls do, instead of being stuck being one of the men who has it harder than girls do.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 2: Gay Bar Patrons

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

gay bar patrons
The list of gay bar patrons include a colorful cast of characters… and 3 varieties of eligible female.

Hey, and welcome to the second post in my series on gaming in the gay environment.

Previously we discussed the different types of gay venues, some of their basic dynamics, and how to handle them. Today we will discuss the different people who attend those venues. Most gay venues tend to be open to everyone, but there are certain types of people you will find here most often. Since these types of venues are niche, it is key to understand the crowd.

I will split this post into two sections, first discussing the girls (who are not gay), then explaining the regular visitors who are part of the LGBT crowd. Basically, in the first section I will cover the people who you’ll seduce, and the other section will be dedicated to the crowd you’ll have to deal with.

Before we begin... the disclaimer:

Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell all of your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.

The God and the Goddess: A Theosophy of the Sexes

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

theosophy of sexes
Theosophy is the study of divine wisdom. And what can be more divine than the coupling of male with female?

Theology is the study of God or gods. The primary question in Theology is the nature of God.

Theosophy, on the other hand, is the study of divine wisdom and actions with the intent to reveal deep truths about ourselves, our divine nature, and our behavior. This is an article born of my fascination with the subject; it explores how our masculine divinity works in contrast and in cahoots with feminine divinity. I hope you enjoy the read, and I hope that perhaps these conceits might ring true and light a few bulbs in your mind that haven’t occurred to you before.

Sometimes all it takes is a good story to illustrate something poetically that is difficult to tackle logically. I will be speaking poetically a lot and will occasionally put my metaphors into the context of this website in order to keep it practical with respect to women, dating, sex, and relationships.

If you happen upon a few paradoxes as we go, that’s a good sign. That’s how these things work.

5 Effective Ways to Pick Up Girls with a Wingman

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pick up girls with a wingman
Five (5) of the best ways to pick up girls with a wingman: the Two Buddies approach, the Leader-Follower approach, plus 3 more.

Six years ago I shared with you the 10 rules of great wingmanship. I covered some strategies for wingmanning there as well. But mostly stuck to dos and do nots.

However, we’ve talked about wingmanning a lot less than it deserves on Girls Chase. Going out with a wingman is fantastic for a lot of reasons:

  • It puts you in a more social mood
  • It gives you instant social proof to work with
  • A likeminded buddy will help make you more resilient
  • And a friend like this can lend you an assist (and vice versa)

One of the biggest reasons, too, is the ‘click’ advantage the two-man approach can give you. Because let’s face it, no matter how good you get, there will always be some girls you do not click with. When you’re with a wingman, you don’t have to click with every girl.

Meet a pair of girls with one girl who likes you but one who does not? It’s fine – the girl who doesn’t like you does like your friend. She’ll tolerate her friend going for you (unless she really dislikes you!), so long as your friend goes for her.

Meet a trio of girls, and one girl matches your energy, but the other two have a completely different energy? No problem – your wingman (or wingmen) matches the other girls’ energy, and gets along with them great.

Yet if you don’t use good wingman form, it’ll all be for naught. You’ll step on your buddy’s toes, he’ll step on yours, and you’ll make each other look bad instead of good. You’ll go for the wrong girls, or accidentally go for each other’s girls when you shouldn’t, or fail to support one another when support is needed.

To make sure you don’t fall prey to wingman miscues, you need strategy – you need a way you both agree on to team up to get girls. And to that end, I’ve put together five (5) of the most effective wingman strategies I’ve used or witnessed other wingman pairs use. These approaches are guaranteed to scoop girls off the pavement (or the barroom floor) and into your respective beds.

To kick off the article, we’ll start with the approach that is, to my mind, the classic wingman model: the Two Buddies approach.

Girls, Social Proof, Herding, and Copycat Hookups

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

copycat hookups
Most girls are inveterate copycats… Especially when it comes to when, where, and whom to hook up with. But you can leverage this herding behavior to your advantage.

10 Great Tips to Help You Master Approach & Dating Women

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

approaching and dating women
Where you put your focus makes all the difference in how fast (or slow) you progress with dating. Should you booze, is it about the hours, and what should your focus be?

Guys keep asking me how to get good with the opposite sex – fast.