Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tony’s Tips for Getting First-Date Sex

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

first-date sex tips
The first date is your best chance to have sex. Whether you want a one-night stand or to make her your girlfriend, these first-date sex tips will help make it happen.

Once you learn how to approach women and get dates, you might run into other quality problems – like how to turn those dates into sex. The most logical way is to bring her home on the first date.

And I'm here to show you why it's not only the most logical way, but also the most effective way. The only reason you shouldn’t be aiming for sex on the first date is if – well, honestly, I can’t think of any reason.

I always try for sex on the first date.

As long as there’s mutual attraction, why wouldn’t you try to sleep with her? It’s in both you and the girl’s best interest to copulate as soon as possible. The sooner, the better. Because the farther you get away from banging, the less likely it is to happen at all. And once you do, she’ll backward rationalize that she really likes you, otherwise, why would she have slept with you on the first date?

There could be the odd chance she feels buyer’s remorse; like she slept with you too fast, but it’s rare, and it’s her problem, not yours.

Or she may feel she was used for sex. But you can mitigate this by cuddling, having post-sex intimate conversation, or taking her for breakfast in the morning.

Tactics Tuesdays: Group Invite Dates

Chase Amante's picture
group invite dates
Girl won't come out, or isn't sure about you… or you're too busy to meet her 1-on-1? Extend a group invite date to her, and get her doing something social with you.

My normal advice with you for dates is 'get her out alone with you'.

Don't make dates less intimate. Don't do party dates. Don't do things where there are other people around to distract.

In the typical scenario, where you have a girl who's already game to come out with you 1-on-1, this is the best advice for you. There's no need to overcomplicate things for yourself or introduce chaos by involving additional people. Make the date about you and her, and get everything else out of the way.

However... there are a few scenarios in which 'get her out 1-on-1' isn't practical or viable. And sometimes it just makes more sense to do something in a group.

For such cases, it can actually make sense to skip the 1-on-1, and invite a girl to a group event.

Because just like 1-on-1 dates, group invite dates have their upsides, too.

How to Talk Dirty to a Girl Without Being Awkward (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Dirty talk is ESSENTIAL for a good time in bed. It’s not optional. It’s MANDATORY.

You arouse a woman’s mind as much as you arouse her pussy.

But if you do it wrong, it can seem a bit cringe worthy. I totally understand.

However, you can get away with a lot in the bedroom that doesn’t work in real life.

THE BEDROOM IS YOUR SECRET GARDEN.

So become a SAVAGE.

And I’ll teach you how to do it without being cringe worthy.

Franco Lombardi – Gauging a Woman’s Comfort Level on Dates (Podcast)

Varoon Rajah's picture

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics, our podcast here on Girls Chase! Today once again I feature Franco, with whom I’ve done several podcasts – and they’ve turned out to be some of the most popular due to Franco’s special knowledge of dating and relationships. We met up in San Diego over New Years and talked about a girl’s comfort on dates, which is a sticking point I had late last year, where it was difficult to tell how comfortable a girl was on a date, which made it tough to move things forward.

Franco always tells me about his excellent track record on dates, as he was closing 9 out of 10 girls he would take on dates with him. What helps is his ability to gauge a girl’s comfort and where she is emotionally on a date.

Knowing a girl’s comfort level and emotions are key in the moment, as this allows you to determine what you need to do to move a date forward toward intimacy – and very importantly, when.

Girls also often give mixed signals to test a guy, and a good guy should know how to handle these tests as he moves the process along with a girl.

In this podcast, we talk about how to determine a girl’s comfort level early on a date, the adjustments in vibe we need to make to make her more comfortable, the adjustments we should make if an emotion is too strong, how to determine when a girl is comfortable enough for touch and what type, when to start and escalate touch, how to use sexual touch when she’s comfortable, and how to close at the end of the date – whether it’s just going for the kiss or pulling her home.

Here’s Franco…

Female Attachment Profiles: Secure, Avoidant, and More

Chase Amante's picture
female attachment styles
A woman's attachment style determines whether she is clingy, or distant, or prone to upset at the most trivial thing. Know her style, and you know what to expect.

Early in life, the way someone's parents raise her shapes the way her brain deals with her relationships with other people.

If her parents are loving and supportive, and around enough, and not abusive or neglectful, she'll form a secure attachment style.

Secure attachment is the healthiest form of attachment: it's the ability to form real bonds with other people, free from either neediness or (on the other hand) an urge to 'get away'.

However, not all parents are loving and supportive, or present enough; some are neglectful, or even abusive. Some parents have attachment disorders themselves and simply aren't good at parenting. And when a child grows up with parents like this, she learns different lessons about close relationships, and her brain wires itself to respond differently to closeness.

Depending on her upbringing, she may learn to cling to others for dear life. She may flee closeness, and try to keep space in her relationships. She may have chaotic emotions toward closeness and vacillate between wanting it and pushing it away.

Once you know attachment styles, you can better grasp the women you bring into your life... and better grasp yourself.

How to Use Your Phone to Set Up Dates and Avoid Flakes

Alek Rolstad's picture

phone calls set up dates
Calling girls on the phone is no longer the norm. But if you prime her for a call, it can save time, be more personal, and reduce the odds she’ll flake on your date.

Today I have a beginner-friendly article about something I rarely talk about – how I take phone numbers.

Dealing with flakes is a common topic we discuss in our 1-on-1 sessions. It is one of the most frequently discussed subjects on our forums and elsewhere on the web.

And for good reason.

I have been studying this subject for over ten years and consider myself pretty successful with women. Yet the issue of dealing with flakes was never fully resolved.

Many beginners think that the perfect text, with the coolest message, with the coolest frame, sent at the right time will help them solve the issue. I am sorry to tell you that this is not how things work.

So let's talk about how they do work and shed some light on getting numbers and avoiding flakes.

How a Woman’s Age Affects Her Dating Strategy

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

women's priorities age and dating
Women’s priorities change as they get older, in life and dating. This guide will help you understand these shifts and how to tailor your seduction strategy with them.

With so many women to choose from in the world, it helps to understand what kind of girl a guy should go for – especially when it comes to her age. A girl’s age has big implications on the dating experience: who she’s looking for, where she is in life, and what you can expect from her in regards to dating and sex.

Men and women mature quite differently when it comes to their character and human role. Men “age” and grow more attractive as they grow older, provided that they take very good care of themselves.

Guys should always aim to have their life handled as they grow older; the social perception of older men stems from guys who “resign” by not keeping fit, having healthy goals, and continuing to be dominant and masculine.

But the guy who takes good care of himself, has his finances handled, maintains a good focus and career, is dominant, and gains experience with women through his life can indeed become very deadly as he ages.

On the other hand, women tend to have a different cycle: maturing faster and earlier than men, but also moving through several phases of life quickly depending on their biological and reproductive “needs.”

The mating and reproductive instincts are big, as is a woman’s desire for having lovers, providers, and friends in her life. As such, her needs change throughout life depending on her hormonal and reproductive drive as well as lifetime goals – anything from sowing her wild oats, to getting married, to having children.

Now, keep in mind that these descriptions are general (accurate for most, with exceptions) but also based on my observations and those of others around me. We can see trends in how age influences where a woman is biologically and mentally; therefore, as men, we can build our game around the kinds of women we want in our lives.

What Caused the Trust Collapse Between Women and Men?

Chase Amante's picture

men women trustA recent article on loneliness exploded to the top of Hacker News (the Reddit-like programming and entrepreneurship newsboard). The article clearly struck a chord. The thrust of the article was that the decline of the family has led to an epidemic of lonely people.

In the comment section below the article, a reader had this to say:

After numerous attempts to find a reasonable/semi-normal female "life-companion" I gave up at 50. I tried to overlook the hostility and conceit they had towards men in general at first, until neurosis and personality disorders would reveal themselves later - if the relationship got that far. I felt like I was in a competition and she was determined to "win".

It's many things, but the enmity and distrust that feminism has caused between men and women is by far the most significant contributor. Men are the "enemy" that must be defeated. Why are the majority of homeless white men? They surrendered.

It's a sentiment that seems to be bursting out of the stitches among more and more people. Women express similar sentiments as often as men -- this isn't a purely male issue.

At the core of it, the real center of the issue, is the cultural phenomenon of 'trust collapse'.

The great tragedy of our time is this breakdown in trust between the people... and, particular to this website's mission, the breakdown in trust between the sexes. When the sexes trust each other, anything is possible. When they do not, society comes undone at the seams.

The sexes have battled throughout history; a little tension is nothing new. Yet rarely does the fight grow as embittered as it's today become.

Today more and more women are distrustful toward men. They worry there are rapists behind every tree. They opine that women are paid less than men (and thus, implicitly undervalued). They jump when a stranger approaches, or chide men not to walk up to them in the first place. At the same time, they wonder where the good men have gone, and instruct men that now that they are ready to marry, it's time for those men to be ready too.

Just as women's trust in men has crumbled, so too has men's in women. Many men fear false accusations of harassment (described as "sometimes just a different perspective" in this article), false accusations of sexual assault, or false accusations of rape. Men with good careers walk on eggshells around female colleagues, wary not to become easy prey for unscrupulous corporate climbers (all a woman has to do is say a man did something to her, the same way the football player feigns injury to penalize his opponent and benefit his own team). Many men fear the power women wield in marriage courts, and the loss of their children and assets and lives in the event of a divorce. Some swear off marriage under current Western law; others swear off dating entirely. In a recent 'sexual harassment backlash' survey by the very feminist Lean In organization, 60% of male managers report now being uncomfortable mentoring, working alone with, or socializing outside of work with female employees.

While not everyone has caught it as bad as the more sensitive (and paranoid) among us, everyone has felt it to some extent. And plenty have felt it to large extent... between 2008 and 2018, a mere 10 year gap, the number of 18-29 year old men not having sex in America rocketed up from 10% of them to a whopping 28%.

As the relations between the sexes have increasingly frayed, more and more individuals have come out as preferring their own same sex instead. That number increased by 17% in only four years, between 2012 and 2016. Among millennials, in 2012, 5.8% were homosexual; just four years later, in 2016, a full 7.3% were out of the closet (so much for the ol' "only 1-2% of the population is gay" chestnut you used to hear, huh?). And the fertility rate in the U.S. hits new all-time lows pretty much every year.

How do make heads or tails of all this?

What is happening to the mating market in the West?

Is there any sense we can make of this at all, or is it all just a bunch of unfathomable deep civilizational processes, layers beneath layers, impossible to peel back?

Well, we're going to peel the layers back. And we'll see if we can arrive at an understanding of just what's afoot in all these tremors we've felt in the modern mating market.

Fortunately, there are white polished stones that lead the way us to follow. Let's see where those stones lead.

Tactics Tuesdays: The 'Too Distracted' Opener

Chase Amante's picture
too distracted by you opener
A simple, fun, direct opener to use on girls who are stationary and alone. "I'm too distracted by you" puts the blame on HER for being too cute.

This is a little gem from the old mASF seduction forums (credit: Lifeguard).

It goes like this: you're out somewhere and see a pretty girl, so you approach, give your name, tell her she distracted you with her cuteness, and ask her name.

Example:

You're in the café and see a girl. You approach her and tell her, "Hi, I'm Lucas. I was sitting over there trying to read my book but I am too distracted by how cute you are. What's your name?"

This opener combines direct with situational relevance, so it's to-the-point but still grounded.

It's also versatile (useful in a lot of different situations), as we'll see just below.

14 Best-Ever Self-Help Books to Help You Grow as a Person

Tony Depp's picture

self-help books
The answers to life’s questions are found in the best self-help books. Want your brain to work better all-around? Want to be more interesting? Start with these.

It’s time for a list of my favorite and best self-help books for men. Because when’s the last time you read a book?

The average American reads 2.5 books per year, and 25% don’t read any. So if you’re like me and read 20 or more books a year, you’re basically a genius-level Renaissance man.

When people ask what I attribute my success to (with women and life), I tell them “BOOKS.”

Books taught me how to think, talk, and pay my way around the world. If I had a choice between a lifetime of books or easy sex – I’d choose books.

“I don’t know, Tony. I get tired when I read. I fall asleep. I prefer podcasts and audiobooks.”

I hear that a lot; men get “tired” when reading. It’s because their brains are flabby. Reading a proper book is like the fat, lazy dude going to the gym, pushing weights for five minutes then going home to “rest” because he’s “tired.”

There’s an intellectual joy from reading long-form books. I just don’t get the same feeling from audiobooks, podcasts, or YouTube. There’s nothing wrong with those mediums; they’re great, too. But something magical happens to your brain when you read books (click here for science).

You can also read at your own speed to ensure comprehension and retention.

For guys who love to read but only read non-fiction, studies have shown fiction helps with intellect, empathy, and imagination. So reading fiction will help with your game, too, as fiction lets you see (imagine) from another’s perspective.

This list of books is subjective, by the way. They’re not really the best self-help books ever. After all, there’s no such thing, really, as it depends on what you're looking to help yourself with.