Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

7 Signs a Girlfriend (or Wife) Is Checking Out of Your Relationship

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girlfriend is losing interest
How do you know your girlfriend is losing interest and checking out? There are 7 signs of this, from makeovers to disagreeableness to new Sex in the City gal pals.

Picture this: you get into a relationship with a girl, and at first everything is pretty good. Not perfect, but good. Things coast along for a year or two, consistently pretty good: she’s fun to be with, she cooks you nice meals, you have nice sex. It’s good.

Then at some point, things start to feel ‘different’. It’s hard to put your finger on what. But it feels like your girlfriend is losing interest. Your gut tells you she is checking out... but when you confront her on it, she tells you not to be ridiculous. It’s not that she’s checking out, she says; she just wants to [whatever it is she’s doing]. You grumble a bit and try to ignore your misgivings. Maybe she’s right and it’s all in your head.

A few months go by and the relationship quality is now definitely not what it used to be. When you try to talk to her about it though, she dismisses the thought. More and more, she seems checked out of the relationship.

Eventually she tells you she wants to “take a break” for a while and maybe get back together again later. You knew it was coming; but you couldn’t put your finger on exactly why. And you knew of no way to stop it.

Today’s article looks at the 7 most common signs a girlfriend is ‘checking out’ of your relationship. These are the signs she isn’t out yet – but might be on her way there. Forewarned is forearmed; if you don’t want to be broadsided by a surprise breakup (or a surprise affair), these signs are your fair warning. Note that these signs serve equally well for wives as they do for girlfriends; any serious relationship is subject to the same potential signs.

Decision Making in Seduction III: Building and Keeping Momentum

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

building pickup momentum
Negative sexual momentum can spoil your interactions with women. But a good decision-making strategy helps break the trend – and can even reverse it.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. I hope you are enjoying this series on decision making so far. Making good decisions is key if you plan on reaching consistency in your results and increasing your odds of getting that girl.

Sometimes you will be stuck in situations where you will have to make calls, and you had better make the right one — making good or bad calls in these situations means the difference between a lay and no lay.

Today I will add a few more words on decision making, an expansion to my previous post. I will be sharing with you a few examples of mini-reports from the field where I have found myself in tricky situations and been forced to make decisions. I will share both success stories and failures.

Tactics Tuesdays: Barrier Destroyers

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pua barrierI lately responded to a comment where I talked about one kind of barrier destroyer. I figured I’d talk about some others here.

Barriers are a spectacular tactic. They challenge a girl you are with to take some kind of action (favorable to the direction you want to move things in) to get things moving. For instance, “I’d really love to get to know you better. But you have this sarcastic attitude toward any attempts at real talk that makes it so difficult.” Use this with a girl you have a good thing going with, and you make her aware of her defenses, and encourage her to drop them (to let you in). Another common barrier: “If it wasn’t for the crowd of people around us, my hands would be all over you.” A girl who’s already pretty into you is fairly likely to start suggesting somewhere more private the two of you might head at this point.

But this article isn’t about using barriers yourself. It’s about what to do when women use barriers on you.

Because they can and they will.

The productive barriers you don’t need to dismantle, of course. If she says “It’s too bad we’re in public and not somewhere private right now”, don’t destroy that barrier. Just get her somewhere alone with you.

It’s the unproductive barriers you need to watch out for. Ones that put the brakes on the courtship, slip you into the boyfriend zone, or banish you to the platonic friend zone.

When a girl hits you with an unproductive barrier, you can feel stuck: barriers can be hard to tear down in an effective way. They put up a wall between you and her that can feel insurmountable. This article gives you the tools to get unstuck, and get past the wall.

Decision Making in Seduction II: Weighing the Variables

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

seduction variables
As a seducer, your decisions can trip you up… or set you up. How do you weigh the odds and decide whether to stick with a girl or find a better option?

Hey, guys!

Welcome back. So, last week we discussed the importance of cool-headedness and how it relates to better decision making in field, resulting in more lays and better odds of getting that girl. Today, we will discuss decision making itself. I will cover each of the variables I personally take into account when I’m making a decision.

There is an infinite number of variables to be taken into consideration when making decisions, depending on the situation, context, who you are, and your desires. Some situations are truly unique, and you will need to account for additional variables you did not initially take into consideration. For example, if a girl happens to have a boyfriend who turns out to be a gangster, you will have to factor that into your evaluation. Another example that comes to mind is interactions that lead to tricky social situations, such as banging your best friend’s ex – “don’t” is my go-to advice. You have to assess the consequences.

Another situation is double-pulling with a wingman like I do with my friend Pablo Garcia. Sure, we can go tandem, split up, and each leave with a girl, but we don’t see each other often and we get plenty of lays on our own. When we are together, it is because we want to pull together – we just find it so much more fun! However, if I screw up, Pablo is doomed and vice versa. Additionally, if he doesn’t hook, we can double-pull. Same goes for me if I don’t hook. Unless we both hook, we move on.

As you can see, different scenarios will offer new variables to take into consideration. The list I provide here is a starting point, things I think are key to keep in mind in most if not all situations. There is no way to write an article on in-field decision making and take into consideration every potential variable of every potential scenario. However, from this post, you can learn a lot about the overall mindset of decision making to use as you see fit. You can add your own variables to your equations if you wish. In fact, in certain circumstances, I recommend it.

12 Facial & Body Tics to Eliminate (to Stay Cool and Look Sexy)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

facial tics and body tics
Nervous tics can play havoc with your social and romantic attractiveness. But before you can eliminate them, you’ve got to know you’ve got ‘em first.

One of the biggest contributors to your attractiveness to the opposite sex is the strength of your fundamentals. Fundamentals (in Girls Chase parlance) include everything from your physique, to your fashion, to your hairstyle, facial expressions, walk, voice, mannerisms, and a whole lot more (larger discussion of fundamentals here).

The reason fundamentals are so important is the good qualities they convey of you:

  • Personal strength
  • Self-confidence
  • Self-assurance
  • Composure
  • Elegance
  • Coolness

Even if the majority of your fundamentals are in excellent shape though, there's one thing that poses a direct threat to this powerful, nonplussed impression you'd otherwise create with them.

That one thing is the subject of this article: tics.

Tics are small behaviors with large negative effects on your overall impression. People often won't be consciously aware of what is setting them off when they respond to a tic; they'll just know something seems off about you. When everything else says "strong and composed" but one thing says "uncomfortable", that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch.

There's an upside to this, though: eliminate tics, and you boost to your overall presentation. Once you've stripped out a tic that was 'giving you away' in uncomfortable situations, you get a uniform presentation that stays cool, collected, and attractive, no matter how hard a girl tests you or how much her friends challenge or interloper males try to pick her off from you. Or, for that matter, no matter how heated things get at work, how uncomfortable you feel when asked for ID on the street by a random police officer, or when you walk up to that super cute girl and seem collected even though inside you're a bundle of nerves.

We'll focus on 12 common types of tics today that manifest in your face or body language. Note there are also vocal tics (like throat clearing or repeating your own words or someone else's), but, with one exception, we won't cover those in this article. We'll stay focused on visual tics in this piece.

Your Use of Tinder Is Hobbling You with Girls

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

tinder get women
Truly hot women are scarce in the world of online dating apps. If you want to meet them, give your swiping finger a rest and focus on your in-real-life game.

Throughout 2017, I’ve noticed two strong trends that have put questions in my mind about the future direction of teaching and practicing social arts.

  1. The increasing reliance of men on Tinder and dating apps as their main resource to meet women; many of these men are frustrated with their results on the app

  2. The simultaneous frustration in women who meet men using dating apps like Tinder

The conclusion I’ve derived from both observations is that Tinder is now well on its way out of the limelight, and guys are far better off in the long term if they learn to meet, date, and sleep with women without using these apps.

Now, I’m not saying Tinder doesn’t have any utility. We have posted some great guides on Girls Chase on how to use Tinder. I’ve even used them myself, meeting, dating, and having sex with girls using the methods described therein. I’ve seen it work for men around me, too.

So the crux of this article is not to argue that you should never use Tinder, because it definitely has its uses, particularly for guys who just want to get laid without spending the time necessary to meet women elsewhere. If Tinder and similar apps get you everything you want with the quality of women you desire, great.

My point with this post is that guys can get better-quality women if they take the time to learn to meet them in person rather than relying solely on online and app-based dating systems. In short, when you get good at meeting girls in person, there’s little reason to use Tinder to meet them.

Trust Your First Impressions

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

trust your first impression
When you meet new people, should you trust your first impressions about them? How can you tell whether new “friends” are genuine – or out to use you?

You will have many friends in this life. Many will come, most will go. I can count on my fingers the number of true friends I have, and I suspect that with most, we will eventually no longer need each other, want each other, or respect each other.

It’s easy for a friendship to dissolve.

The more I see, the easier it becomes for me to ditch a friend who acts up. I have raised my standards of behavior, not only because I know that those closest to me influence me more than I realize, and I don’t want to be held back by poisonous people, but also because I would prefer not to put someone in a position to be able to betray me.

You will be surprised at the closeness of the bonds you will form with the most random of people you meet. Before you meet them, everyone is a stranger. Even if you are introduced to someone, they’re a stranger — doubly so if you tend to meet people randomly like I do.

Those introduced to you through social circles have an impetus to be nice to you, as you have been vetted by their friends and they assume you are an ally. They will be on their best behavior.

Random people are a bit more… well, random. Sometimes, they will show you their true selves the moment you meet them, since they owe you nothing and have no act to put on. Other times, especially if they’re more skilled, they will put on their best face the moment you meet them. Why? They may want to use you. Sometimes it’s because they’re polite and high value, but you’d be unwise to count on this — you’ll meet more sharks than saints.

So how do you screen out those who wish to use you — or even harm you — for their own benefit?

Trust them the first time they reveal themselves. Trust your first impression.

Lopsided Relationships: the Friend Zone and FWBs

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

unhappy relationship
Friend zones, friends with benefits, sexless marriages – many relationships are lopsided and unhappy. Why do these relationships exist (and how do you avoid them)?

In dating, there is one truth above all, and that is that men want a few things from women, and women want a few things from men, and not all those things overlap.

The result of this failure to overlap is sometimes you have a woman who is good at getting what she wants without giving the men she gets it from everything (or anything) they want. Likewise, you sometimes have a man who is good at getting what he wants without giving the women he gets it from everything (or anything) they want.

This mismatch is the root of all the most unhappy relationships with the most broken dynamics you see in dating. The friend zone, where a man who wants intimacy with a woman is exiled to her sexless borderlands without it. Friends with benefits, which some women are fine with for some time, but most women eventually go at least a little crazy in. Disrespectful and/or sexless long-term relationships or marriages, where the man is treated as a second-class partner. And neglectful and/or domineering long-term relationships or marriages, where the woman is treated as a second-class partner.

The Zen area of dating, of course, are setups where both partners get what they want: where the woman gets everything she desires, and the man gets everything he desires.

But not every coupling will be this way. Most won’t.

Instead, most fall somewhere into that overlap zone – for a very simple reason.

Decision Making in Seduction I: How to Be Cool-Headed

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

cool headed
How you conduct yourself has a big effect on how attractive you are to women. Cool heads in moments of chaos set men significantly apart.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Today we will discuss another subject that I believe will make you a better seducer.

This subject is one of the variables covered in my post “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where we covered multiple variables that I believe are what give a guy great success, and more importantly, great consistency – which kind of signifies that the “luck aspect” is less significant for him, hence why he is good.

In that post, we covered the following variables:

Decision making is another subject that I believe has been under discussed. I will make this a two-part article, with the first piece focusing on cool-headedness (the right state of mind to be in whenever facing difficult situations). We will focus more on the practical aspects of decision making in Part 2.

Decision making is key, and it can mean the difference between hitting and missing. Wrong decision? You are out. Think about it. You have a great lead with a girl but suddenly decide to change venues (without her). Well, guess what, you won’t bang that girl. Now, perhaps you may find another girl in the next venue, but what if the next venue sucks and you get no leads? I am sure we’d all agree the decision was bad.

Usually, situations that force you to make decisions hastily result in, sadly, unfortunate decisions. She is resisting, your material is not working, a cockblock shows up, or another wildcard chimes in (e.g., her friend starts puking). These situations can be stressful, forcing you to make a decision, and often quickly. We will discuss these scenarios in further detail next week. However, before you are able to become a good decision maker in the field of seduction, you first and foremost need to understand the importance of cool-headedness.

Cool-headedness is a prerequisite for decision making in dating, pickup, and seduction. To be honest, I think it also is essential for all types of decision making in life.

Therefore, we will focus on this subject first before moving on to the more practical aspects of decision making.

Get Way More Out of Your Club Pickups with Mass Approaching

Halvor Jannike's picture

By: Halvor Jannike

mass approaching
Mass approaching gets a bum rap. When it’s used well, it stops being sloppy and scattershot… and becomes a savvy, effective way to meet many women in a hurry.