Game Openers That'll Get You Girls
If you're keeping up on the latest in game openers, you're probably familiar with the now-canon advice to pay women a compliment when you approach them during the daytime… and, that actually works pretty well, sometimes.
I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of beautiful girls that way … a sincere compliment during the daytime is often unexpected, and women admire the courage it takes to pull it off.
Especially on a dead cold approach of a girl you’ve never met before – she will often be jealous. She might WISH she had that kind of courage, to be open enough to just meet strangers like that.
That said, there are a few serious disadvantages to this approach, which is why I’ve stopped doing it almost altogether.
Here, in no particular order, they are:
- You need to be in the right “head space” in order to deliver a compliment right and make it work. That’s fine when you go out specifically to meet women, but it can be hard to do it right on these off-the-cuff approaches… on your way to work or while doing your shopping. Especially when you have a million other things on your mind.
- Even if you’re extremely charming and good at winning girls over… running up to them with a compliment doesn’t always give you enough time to do that. It screams: “I’m coming on to you”, and forces her to make a decision about you ON THE SPOT, without ever having a chance to get to know your social graces. Not to say that a direct approach is bad… but there’s a more refined way!
- Getting rejected on a compliment can be a real sting to the ego. If you open with anything else and she doesn’t take the bait, that’s one thing… but with compliments, you're basically walking around town telling everybody how great they are and half the people snub you off as if you were a bum who just asked them for a coin. Ouch… humiliating!
Ricardus’s Patented Daytime Ice-Breaker
So what's a guy to do?
On the one hand, most girls are busy during the day… So there’s rarely enough time for a more indirect approach in day game, and to let her get to know you a bit better before forcing her hand.
On the other hand, going up directly with a compliment has a lot of drawbacks, and really reduces your success ratio.
That makes for a tough choice among game openers.
This catch-22 bothered me for years. In fact, there was a time when I decided to simply make this very dilemma INTO an opener.
I went up to girls and asked them how they would like to be approached during the day.
And that actually works, believe it or not.
It’s not as direct as opening with a compliment, but it’s also not really indirect – your interest is implied. Or is it? It’s still ambiguous, so she will often be curious what’s going on.
It’s a social opener… and it works pretty well: “Hey… quick question… what do you think would be a good thing to say… to strike up a conversation in a train station… with somebody you’re curious to meet?”
Give it a try some time. You’ll have some success with it if you do it right, and who knows, maybe a girl actually ends up giving you a useful opener!
Be Artful, Graceful, Masterful
However, this approach will only feel authentic for a while. Once you’ve opened with this question a couple of dozen times, it will be hard to ask with genuine curiosity. And once it starts to feel fake to you, it will start feeling fake to the girls you approach as well.
They can SMELL that sort of thing!
There still had to be a better way than running up to a girl’s house and kicking the door in, so to speak… something more subtle, elegant.
It's called "Pickup ARTS", not "Hitting on Tons of Girls and Hoping Something Will Stick", after all.
There had to be something that avoids the shock reaction and the auto-pilot rejection that a compliment often triggers… but without pussy-footing around and feigning disinterest.
Negative Compliance Momentum
The standard format that most guys use these days for approaching a girl with a compliment is:
- Pace – e.g. “I know this is really random”, or “I just saw you walk down the street”
- Compliment – e.g. “I had to tell you that you’re really cute”, or “and you’re absolutely beautiful”
- Showing Intent – e.g. “so I wanted to come talk to you”, or “so I had to say hi.”
Again, this does work sometimes; I’ve done it a lot and successfully approached dozens and dozens of girls this way.
But just because something works sometimes doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way. Let’s take a closer look at the psychology of game openers like this:
- The pace is basically starting out with an apology
- The compliment proceeds to give all the man’s power away – she has 100% control in this situation, to grace him with her acceptance, or to crush his advances and brush him off
- Showing intent gives away all the mystery, and ruins the challenge completely. Girls LOVE a challenge. No, asking what makes her special or whether she’s really creative doesn’t count, because if she’s going to snub this approach, she will do so before you even get to this point.
Game Openers: A Better Way
I suggest you try this formula instead:
- Get Her Attention – e.g. “Excuse me”, or “Hey!”, or “Quick question!” – This breaks her internal dialogue, and gets her to focus on you – make sure you have her full attention before you continue. (Don’t say "excuse me" unless you have to give her the false impression that you're going to ask her for directions, because she's in a rush.)
- Demand Compliance – e.g. “Are you single?”, or “Are you married?” – This puts the pressure on HER, and completely shifts the power dynamic in your favor. As a colleague of ours says: “She realizes that she just lost ALL the power in the situation and she hasn't even gotten to talk yet.”
- Answer Her – e.g. if she asks why you want to know, say “I’m just curious” and keep expecting more compliance from her… but more on this below.
Why does this work? Doesn’t this break every rule in the book?
The answer is, she doesn’t expect this question… and if you deliver it with the right confidence and strength, you’d be surprised how many women are totally thrown off. It keeps them on their toes, much more than a compliment does… and puts you in control of the approach.
Say this in a very challenging tone – cock your head back a bit, and deliver it the way a bouncer would ask her if she’s under age… or the way a cop would ask her if she stole that purse.
If you speak from a place of authority, as if you absolutely EXPECTED total and complete compliance, you’d be surprised how many people simply go along with it.
4 Possible Outcomes
You will usually get one of the following four responses:
- Why do you ask?
- She stutters and doesn’t know what to say
If it’s the latter, you can just tell her that you’ll take that as a yes, and then keep talking to her. If she says yes, she’s single, you can definitely keep talking… and even if she says no, keep going.
Girls often say no even though they really are single… if she stays to talk to you, she’s curious! So no matter what she says, you can continue the conversation and win her over with your personality… where she might already have shut down a compliment long ago.
And if she wants to know why you’re asking, just tell her you’re curious, as I mentioned above. Keep looking at her and expecting an answer… this is called a “vacuum” – it's a pregnant pause, an empty space in conversation that sucks people into talking.
It packs a massive pull – use it in your favor!
Or you could hint that you’re really asking because a friend of yours might like her… you don’t need to lie, but it can’t hurt to be ambiguous.
As a good exercise to overcome the fear of the approach, you might even want to ACTUALLY ask girls if they’re single, with the intention of introducing them to a friend of yours – it will give you the emotional distance to approach completely nonchalantly.
Throw Her A Curveball!
This approach really catches girls off-guard because it’s the opposite of what they usually hear from guys. Most men see a beautiful girl and think: “Oh, she’s probably got a boyfriend”… and so they don’t even give it a shot.
If they DO approach her despite that fear, they often ask that very question: “Do you have a boyfriend?” It sub communicates that they expect her to be taken… That they expect to be unsuccessful.
“Are you single” is the opposite, and it’s also something she hears very rarely – girls usually don’t have an answer ready, it’s a real curveball you can throw them!
Where a pace is apologetic, this approach is cocky.
And where showing your intentions right away ruins all the mystery, this approach gets women very intrigued!
And if you’re not in the right head space because you’re on your way to a meeting, the very wording of the opener FORCES you into a challenging mindset, into demanding compliance and being dominant… which, as we know, is attractive to women.
Don’t Be Reactive!
Many men who have never read a word off GirlsChase.com show interest in girls, even when the girls are showing DISinterest.
She’s being evasive, he pursues all the more.
Guys who have a bit more experience have learned to calibrate their interest to the girl’s – if she shows disinterest, so does he… and if she gives him signals that she likes him, he reciprocates as well.
That’s a bit better, but the problem with this approach is that it is reactive. You don’t want to only respond to whatever she’s doing… you want to take the lead.
The advanced Casanova doesn’t show interest simply because he notices that she’s into him – he’s not that easily won over. He will still TEST her and make her WORK for his attention.
He will demand compliance.
When you open without the false pretense of being disinterested in the girl, you operate under the assumption that she will be attracted to you… you should hence not show your attraction just yet, but demand compliance.
An Approach That Just WORKS
As I mentioned above, the classical complimentary approach can work really well during the day – especially if you do it right. Some key points on opening with the direct opener:
- Expect the approach to go well – visualize her responding positively before you even go in.
- Don’t smile too much… you don’t want to come across as seeking rapport or approval. Create some tension when you open.
- Don’t make your opener sound too polished – if you’ve done too few approaches, you may come across as too nervous, whereas if you’ve done too many, you may sound rehearsed. Talk naturally, not in a scripted way.
- Focus on your VOICE. This is easily forgotten, but it’s the 20% (the fundamentals) that get us 80% of the results… projecting a resonant, masculine voice with a lot of bass and spoken from the chest is part of those 20%.
- Make sure she sees you before you open. If you tap her on the shoulder from behind, your voice will come out of nowhere and she will be startled. I always make sure I enter their field of vision and be there for a second or two before I even turn to them and say anything.
But when I stopped opening with compliments and started demanding compliance from girls off the bat, I suddenly started successfully seducing a lot of beautiful girls who weren't having ANY of it at first.
Several times I was out with friends who later said they were SURE I was going to get blown out… just from some of the girls’ obvious initial disinterest. But this modus operandi turned it around, ended up winning them over and led to solid interactions... and eventually, a lot more.
A compliment opener would have meant game over from the start with these girls.
Want to See an Example?
Then let me suggest you go out and TEST all three openers!
Approach 50 women and give them a compliment, ask another 50 if they’re single, and ask yet another 50 how they want to be opened during the day.
Once you have these 150 approaches under your belt, compare your data.
Put it in a spread sheet if you want and make a graph, I don’t care.
The important thing is that you experiment with a few different styles of approaches and figure out what works best for YOU in the REAL WORLD.
Are you still on the computer?
Onward and upward,
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