Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

The Importance of Vibe in Attracting Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

vibe and attracting women
Vibe is a HUGE factor when it comes to attracting women. Here’s how to tweak your vibe to more reliably spark attraction in girls, get them on dates, and into bed.

How important is maintaining a positive vibe when picking up women? Long story short, the difference in results between low-energy or moody men and positive-minded extroverts is night and day.

The best supporting data I know of is my own experience, which, as a dating coach, is varied and vast. But there are some case studies that convincingly illustrate the phenomenon, like this one about the “halo effect”:

 

In the video, two groups of women watch a dating proposal made by the same guy. But the guy makes two videos, one for each group of women. In each video, he uses the same script but with a different vibe.

He’s upbeat and expressive in one version, with good posture. In the other, he’s slouching, not looking at the camera as much, and speaking with a less-enthusiastic tonality.

The women who viewed the video with the upbeat vibe generally agreed they’d be down to go on a date with him. The other group, hearing the same script but with less positive energy, all declined.

Same guy, same script, different vibe (tonality, mood, posture, lighting). One video sparked no interest in the guy; the other sparked attraction!

Since attraction is the key factor here, let’s dig a bit deeper and discuss ways you can tweak your vibe to spark it.

12 Limiting Beliefs Men Have About Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

limiting beliefs
If you have one of these beliefs about women, it's holding you back... and you probably don't even realize it.

Each man sees the world in a different way.

Some of the differences between how one man sees the world and how the next one does are slight. Other differences, though, are extreme.

If a man holds the right beliefs, he unshackles himself to achieve success beyond his most fantastic hopes and dreams. If he holds beliefs that limit him though, he may stumble into great ravines on the road to wish fulfillment... or he may chain himself fast, so that he never starts on the road to fulfillment at all.

There are four types of limiting beliefs men hold:

  1. Inaccessibility ("I can't get/have what I want")

  2. Over-accessibility ("I can have that whenever I want")

  3. Transience ("Once I have it, I'm destined to lose it")

  4. Permanence ("Once I have it, or someone else does, it's forever")

Those beliefs boil down into two dimensions: one of accessibility, and the other of transience/permanence.

The most accurate belief sets abandoned these extremes. Men who succeed most stop thinking about the world in terms of the blacks and whites of beliefs like these, and view it as a vast world of gray -- a promising world of gray, with boundaries and limitations, but where most things are achievable, though not always easy.

Today we're going to talk about 12 common limiting beliefs men have about women and dating. Hang onto these beliefs, you'll make costly mistakes, or never get far with women at all. Wouldn't it be neat though, to be free of these beliefs -- and free to meet the women you want, date them how you want, and get success with them that seems out of reach to most other men?

The best way to overturn limiting beliefs is through action, because action is where you put your beliefs to the test -- and find out which hold up, and which do not. We'll talk about this below too.

We'll begin with one of the most common limiting beliefs: that girls like that are simply too hot for you.

Why Cuffing Season Is So Awesome for Single Guys (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Cuffing season.

’Tis upon us!

How does one take full advantage of this season when horny, love-hungry women are frolicking around looking for something... someone?

You get your fishing rod out, drop a line into the cold water, and start jiggin'. The fish WILL bite.

Whether you’re looking for a fish to last you a long time (a relationship), or maybe you just want to net some quickie fishies during the spawn, you’re in luck.

I'll teach you how to get both sex and relationships during this festive time.

Stop Assuming Other Men Are Better Than You

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

don't compare your success with other men
If you keep asking yourself why you suck so bad with women while all these other dudes are getting laid, there are probably some things you aren’t taking into account.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of posts to debunk common ideas that I believe are wrong. I decided to follow up with a problem I see a lot of men suffering from – and that I also struggled with.

That is when you start comparing yourself to other men’s success. You see them with girls and feel inferior. This happens especially when you don’t find yourself in female company. You start seeing these other men – either willingly or unwillingly – as superior to you.

It isn’t a good feeling, and it doesn’t result in any kind of productive mindset when it comes to meeting women – quite the contrary. You usually start experiencing this feeling when you have a crappy night. You’re already in a bad place, so feeling inferior creates a vicious circle.

This post is designed to debunk some common misconceptions, but it’s more of a fact check that will help you avoid harmful biases about your own and others’ success.

First things first – we shouldn’t care about whether other people succeed or not unless it has an impact on our own interactions. However, many of us do care.

Shari James | Treating Erectile Dysfunction (Podcast)

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we feature a show in development for quite some time with my first female guest – Shari James – who runs a successful coaching practice based out of Los Angeles, CA called Architecture of Pleasure to help men resolve Erectile Dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction is an epidemic among men. More and more guys suffer from it in the worst moments, and guys are trying things like Viagra and Cialis to get hard when they shouldn’t have to. I’ve heard of tons of guys who complain about ED, often at some of the worst times – like right before they’re about to have sex with a new girl.

In my own experience, having gone through this often during one period of my life (in my case, it was caused by deep emotional stress), one of the worst feelings in the world is to not be able to perform for a girl who just got into your bed excited to have sex with you. Oftentimes girls will re-rationalize that a guy actually isn’t that into them because he can’t get hard, and I often got instantly rejected after I had a girl in my bed, got ED, and it just kept on happening.

As we’ll soon see from Shari, ED is more common among guys than you think, and the sources of ED are many, ranging from excessive porn usage, to emotional and mental issues, to circulatory and nervous system functions, and also how guys control and release their sexual energy. I hope you guys enjoy this one, as it’s a common issue that few are open to talking about – especially with a woman!

Should You Go Out Alone to Learn Pickup?

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

improve pickup/seduction game by going out alone
Lots of guys are horrified to go out alone when learning pickup/seduction. But once you get over your fear – and you will – you’ll see it’s the best way to get good.

I remember the first time I went to a club alone.

It was Montreal, circa 2007. I’d been into PUA stuff for about a year, taking little to no action other than reading blogs and watching YouTube videos, but I’d moved to Montreal for the sole purpose of mastering my game. I was determined and focused on fixing my sex life.

The only problem was, I didn’t have any friends or wingmen to help me. My normie social circle thought it was a weird and pointless hobby, so I said “Screw it!” and went out alone.

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
Steve Jobs

That night, I went to a hipster club in the Plateau. It was packed with pretty college girls, drinking, laughing, and dancing with their friends. I stood there and felt all eyes on me.

My internal dialogue chirped away.

“They’re all looking at you. They know you’re alone. Why are you here? You should talk to someone. But what would you say? Isn’t it creepy to talk to strange women? Maybe go home and try again tomorrow. Come back when you’re in a better state. You don’t have to do this. Go and watch another video about what to say to women.”

Blah, blah, blah. The ego never stops. It wants you to be safe and to fit in with the herd. Feeling the judgmental eyes of all these strangers, I pulled out my cell phone and pretended to talk. Yeah, I mimed talking on the phone. I even acted out a laugh. Yep, I’m not alone! I’m just waiting for friends! Ho, ho, ho… so much fun!

Eventually, I just gave up, walked out of the club, got on my bicycle, and pedaled my pathetic ass home. That night, I made a vow – never again would I go out and at least not try. The next night, I went out and felt those same pangs of terror, adrenaline, and self-conscious doubt. But I remembered my vow. All I had to do was try… so I did.

Tactics Tuesdays: When Dates Don't Work Out, Do a Post-Mortem

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating post-mortem
When a date or an outing doesn't pan out, use a post-mortem to figure out why. Give yourself clear action items for next time – and recover your emotions, too.

Your dates and outings won't always work out.

Sometimes they don't pan out at all. You go out and approach girls and all you get are stony faces. You take girls onto dates yet can never get past the polite zone. You bring women home and hit a wall of last-minute resistance.

There is one thing you ought to always do, whenever things don't go your way.

That thing is a post-mortem.

The term comes from the Latin for after death, and it's pretty close to how we'll use it here.

After your date, outing, or seduction has 'died'... after the whole thing is over (and not before), you're going to do an 'after death' review to figure out what within your control went well, and what to change next time.

This is so incredibly important to your learning and future success. It takes your progress with women and puts it on the fast track -- and all it takes it a little cognizance of what you could've done better, and enough emotion control to step back and look at everything objectively.

Travel and Romance: The Wonders of International Friends with Benefits

Darwin Niwrad's picture

By: Darwin Niwrad

Travel and Romance: International Booty Calls
Who doesn’t fantasize about romance when they travel? For all you adventurers, here’s how to combine sex and travel to enhance all aspects of your time abroad.

Every year, I head to Bermuda with my buddies and spend about a week there. It’s quite an amazing place. With stunning beaches and some of the most beautiful women in the world, it is truly the island of hospitality... and it really opened my eyes as to why travel and romance go hand in hand.

The first year I visited, I met a spectacular girl. I spent a day or two getting to know her and, after a long day of hiking and exploring – and an even longer night of drinking rum – we spent some time exchanging stories, dreams, and kisses before finally boarding her ship.

I’m not a fan of sex on the beach, so we went back to where I was staying. Throughout the summer and into the next year, we would consistently text about the good times we had (and were going to have) together.

She had a boat and a place by the water. She knew everyone in town and took me to the most spectacular cliff-diving areas. We went to private beach parties, and I made sure she had a great time with me from the moment I met her until I headed home. After I left, I stayed in touch with her.

The next year, we came back to visit. I’d cut my expenses by half, I’d made tons of friends, and the locals welcomed me back like I was one of them. Now, any time I get the traveling bug, I have this amazing option I know will turn out great.

By collecting international lovers, you broaden your travel plans, and those plans are far more exciting knowing you have a sexy someone there waiting for you.

If you’ve checked out some of the other articles here on Girls Chase about romance around the world, you’ve probably come across How to Pick Up Girls in Foreign Countries. Check it out if you’re not sure how to create romantic encounters when you travel. There are some things you should know and others you should avoid.

How to Create a Personal Plan for Success with Women

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Create a Plan for Success with Women
Want to get better with women but don’t know exactly how to go about it? Follow these steps to create a plan that makes efficient use of your time and your mind.

How should you go about planning for success when it comes to learning about women?

This is a difficult question to answer because seduction has many moving parts, but to follow up on my previous post, I will describe my process and the questions I use to forge my way through the chaos.

To plan for success in seduction – or anything you want to get better at – try asking these three questions.

  • What do you need to improve?

  • When do you need to improve it?

  • And why?

These questions might seem simple at first glance, but we can only learn at a certain rate. Therefore, to improve at a rapid pace, you want to streamline the process by focusing on what is most important for you at a certain time, with the right purpose behind it. While these questions are simple, there is a lot more substance to them than meets the eye. So, in this article, I will go through a few things that should make answering them an easier task.

Knowing why you need to learn something requires you to understand the broad context. Knowing when to learn something requires self-awareness. And knowing what to improve requires access to technical details and common trends. The substance of these questions is in how you go about developing technical proficiency, self-awareness, and contextual understanding.

Dating and Relationship Precedent: Avoid Leading Her On (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Spending time with a cute girl is fun. Enjoying sex and good conversation with her is one of the finest pleasures in life.

But sometimes that's all you want.

As lovers of women, it's paramount that we make sure she knows that's all you want and doesn't get her hopes up for anything more than you can offer.

We want to make women happy and leave them better than we found them.

That's why it's important to understand precedent and expectations, in any kind of relationship, sexual and romantic.

Watch the video to learn how to set the right expectations with women.