How to Pick Up Girls in Foreign Countries
Note from Chase: This is a guest post by my friend Mark Manson over at Postmasculine. Mark's just released an inventive new book titled Escape Plan: Ditch the Rat Race and Discover the World, and to mark the occasion he's put together a "dream trip contest" the likes of which you usually only see on well-funded TV gameshows, with him flying the winner out to a chosen dream destination and Mark footing the bill for flights and lodging. Details if you're interested on the Escape Plan page.
To promote his new book and the idea of ditching the rat race and escaping wherever you want in the world, Mark's assembled this post on his travels picking up women in foreign countries just for us here at Girls Chase. Onward.
I have been fortunate enough the past few years to not only travel all over the world, but to do it as a young, single man. I’ve spent more than my fair share of time pursuing the women of foreign countries. In fact, I can say that it’s become one of the most interesting and exciting ways to acquaint myself with a new culture.
When men back home hear my stories, a lot of them make the assumption that meeting and dating women in these cultures is easy. They figure I’m a young American and so women must throw themselves at me wherever I go. They think that just because I’m from a rich country and I’m white, that women throw themselves at me wherever I go.
Not the case.
The truth is that meeting women while traveling gets a bit complicated. It presents a set of extreme circumstances and there are a lot more variables to deal with.
There are language barriers, cultural barriers, racial stereotypes, logistical conundrums, and not to mention you’re in a totally unfamiliar place and don’t know a single person.
It’s not always easy. But it can be exciting as hell.
Here’s a brief breakdown of the major factors one needs to be aware of when traveling to a new country as a single man. It IS possible to have some amazing sexual experiences with foreign women, and in many cases, these experiences can be far more exciting or enjoyable than the ones you have with women back home.
But you have to know what you’re doing.
1. Be Aware of Stereotypes
In some countries, being white and having money will carry you a long way. In others, it will bring resentment or disgust. Some places, you’ll be treated almost like a celebrity. In others, you’ll be looked at as a disgusting sex tourist.
For instance, the perception in a lot of Asia is that women go crazy for westerners. This is somewhat true, but not entirely. Prostitution is a lot more socially acceptable and therefore much more common in most Asian countries. So, yes, being white will gain you a lot of attention in some areas, but not necessarily by the women you want it from. Also, many non-prostitute women will be reticent to engage you. Why? For fear of being judged as a prostitute.
Racial stereotypes exist for non-Caucasians as well. There are areas where blacks and Asians suffer racist stereotypes. There are places where these ethnicities are considered very exotic and sexy. Pay attention to the places you go. Ask around. Do some research online before you go. Ask expatriates or people who live there. It’s rarely clear-cut.
2. A Little Language Goes a Long Way
Always take the time to learn at least a few basic phrases in the local language of a country you visit. I cannot overemphasize how much this sets you apart from all of the other tourists and travellers who pass through a place. Even if it’s 10 words, it will go a long way.
If you can manage to invest the time or effort to become conversational in a language, then that is a massive advantage.
The perception in many countries toward western foreigners is that yes, they’re wealthy and educated, yes they’re attractive and fun and on vacation, but they’re self-absorbed, don’t care about the culture, don’t ever learn to speak anything in another language, and most women will have little patience for it.
In some countries where the women are hit on often by foreigners (Brazil, Japan, France), showing that you put some effort into her language will differentiate you from the dozens of losers who tried to make her a part of their vacation.
3. Self-Selection is the Name of the Game
When traveling and meeting women abroad, self-selection becomes such a big part of the game, that self-selection basically IS the game.
Self-selection is the idea that whatever you do, or however you choose to pursue women, you’re always going to screen for a certain percentage of women who will naturally be interested in you.
For instance, one form of self-selection is to dress in nice suits. The kind of women who are interested in a man in a suit are likely to be the kind of women who are interested in you, so it will naturally attract women compatible with you and repel women who think suits are ridiculous.
Self-selection is often used by men without them even realizing it: by deciding which venues to go to, what to wear, what to say, how to present themselves, etc.
Self-selection is ever-present. No matter what you say or do, you are always going to intrigue a certain percentage of women and create no interest with the majority of women.
Self-selection is usually subtle and many men aren’t even aware of it or that they do it.
Well, when you’re abroad, self-selection becomes blindingly obvious. The reason is because you stand out SO much and you immediately become SO unique to the local women, that self-selection will become very extreme.
For instance, if you are a black man in Russia (where there are no black men), you will self-select extremely hard in two ways: the small percentage of women who are interested in a black man will be VERY interested (because they’re never exposed to them), and you’ll be limited to the small pool of Russian women who speak English (who will be interested because they spent years and years studying English).
What happens in environments with more self-selection is that responses become extremely hot and cold. Back home when there’s little self-selection at work, you’re just another guy in a bar – upon introduction not very memorable or different than the other 50 guys there.
But in many foreign countries, you immediately make yourself incredibly unique and different. This will cause many women to reject you quickly, but when you find a woman who is interested, she will be VERY interested (because you’re such a rare man!)
The way to leverage self-selection in your favor is to hunt down situations where women interested in foreigners congregate. For instance, if you’re in Guatemala, chances are English schools or universities (educated women who are studying English) are going to be much better bets than the local town tortilla factory.
In China, a lot of cities have “black men” night clubs, where all of the African guys go and hang out and dance to hip hop and the Chinese women who are interested in black men go. There are venues in Eastern Europe that specialize in English music. Chances are that’s where you’re going to find a woman interested in an English speaker.
Self-selection is ubiquitous. Hone it and play it to your favor. Make yourself stand out with your knowledge of culture and language – do NOT present yourself as just another tourist. And be aware of how you’re perceived – the whole world doesn’t drop to their knees just because of your passport.
Mark Manson is a perpetual traveler and entrepreneur. He blogs at Postmasculine.com. He's the author of Escape Plan: Ditch the Rat Race and Discover the World and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, among other books available online at his site.