Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Pickup Priorities: What to Focus on in Each Phase of a Seduction

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

priorities in pickup and seduction
Knowing what to focus on in each phase of a seduction will facilitate a smooth end game. Get your priorities straight, and all else will fall into place.

Hey, guys. I’d like to finish off our discussions on frame control for now and transition into other subjects. Today’s article will cover priorities in pickup.

Instead of making an overly long series on frames, I decided to move on to a topic where frames play a major role but focus on a universal issue that I see many up-and-coming seducers struggling with – their priorities.

They may know all the right theories and the right tech. Perhaps, to some extent, they have their calibration in check, and their timing is decent. It is true that if you have all these covered, you are already pretty good, and you are probably getting a lot of results. However, I often see those guys not having their priorities straight. In other words, they focus on the wrong things at the wrong time or focus on the right things, but at the wrong time.

Yes, you will have different priorities. Are logistics important? Hell yeah! But are they important when you have not yet talked to the girl? Yes, they are still important, but you have other things to worry about.

That was an extreme example, but it gives a good impression of the theme of this post. So, what we will do in this post is to go through a textbook interaction and discuss step by step the best priorities to have within different phases as you progress.

Now, obviously every interaction is different, and many exceptions will occur. Of course, it’s impossible to cover every potential scenario. So I will give you an idealistic model on how most interactions take place, and how you can correctly prioritize things. Even though some interactions will follow different structures, I believe these rules will give you a good starting point that applies to most of your interactions. And even if your interactions follow the typical textbook course, there may be nuances that force you to make exceptions and change your priorities – something that is required quite often in pickup. In this case, do not be afraid to fail, as failure will give you invaluable field experience.

Therefore, this is yet another argument for why field experience is vital, because it gives you a better idea of how to adapt to different scenarios, including less common ones. But for now, let’s talk about the general rules.

Conventional Ideas Beget Conventional Results – How to Go Beyond

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

conventional ideas conventional results
If you do what ‘they’ do, you get what ‘they’ get – but it may not be what you want. If you want more than conventional, you have to get unconventional.

I was just having coffee with an old friend of mine who recently moved back to town. We were talking about his experiences with dating in a city on the US west coast where he didn’t find the quality of girls that attractive or interesting – for the last couple of years, he’s been longing to move to New York City and start a new journey with more attractive girls. I knew he worked many hours each week and spent little time learning “socially unconventional” paths to meet women.

Learning seduction, game, and pickup is one of those unconventional paths that people dream about but few implement, usually out of fear of social repercussion and shame. Yet, my friend did tell me that he attends meet-up groups, speed dating events, and social mixers to meet women – and didn’t like any of the women he met. He tried to enter new social circles and join activities with like-minded people, and he still didn’t meet a girl he liked.

Conventional dating advice that he followed told him that he should look in these places to find single women he clicked with. Much to his disappointment, after attending many events, he was puzzled as to why he didn’t meet any women he clicked with.

Why did so many people tell him to go to these events to try and find women, he asked? My response to him was pretty straightforward – conventional ideas and solutions lead to conventional results. And that clicked with him immediately.

Recently we had a poster on the Girls Chase forums discussing cold approach pickup – namely, his lack of experience with it. This poster does quite well for himself as it is – he uses a calibrated, sexy, don’t-give-a-damn, alpha guy approach in dating apps such as Tinder.

After spending years working on his profile, pictures, message style, and portraying himself as an attractive man on the apps, he tells us that sex with girls who are 6-8s on the scale and who are his type come pretty easy to him.

At this point it’s so easy, he doesn’t even find the desire to pursue these women at times. He’s so good at this game that it started to get boring, and he feels that it’s netted him the highest ROI when coupled with the good pictures and profile he’s put together. He noted that he can go out with and bang an above average looking girl at least every other week – because, according to him, on dating apps the intentions are super clear.

“I was in the school of thought that cold approaching was dead or just an overall low return on investment. Lately, I have incorporated so much into my life in regards to dating and women that I don't really have that urge and killer instinct to want to cold approach hot girls. Online dating has spoiled the crap out of me, my hobbies provide opportunities, and social circle game is starting to slowly take off for me. In many ways, I don't need cold approach…”

Yet, he also acknowledges that cold approaching is one of the few ways to realistically get the most attractive women on the higher end of the looks scale outside of his lifestyle and social circle game – and that is one of the ceilings in online dating, even though it’s comfortable and men are happy with screwing 7s.

“In the past months, I realized that I was getting girls who were solidly above average and cute. Due to hobbies, dating apps, and a host of other things, I noticed that I got quality, but it was not top tier like I wanted. The closer I approached to an 8, the more I realized that only two things were going to give me opportunities: social circle and cold approach.”

To my surprise, he used this perspective to justify his lack of effort in learning cold approach, calling it a lottery without the opportunity to get a suitable ROI, and that the apps seemed superior to cold approaching as a result. The argument here was that cold approaching is so out of touch with what other people around us do, that you’d have to be completely clueless socially to only use that method to meet women.

Well, then you have my story. I’ve spent the last 6-8 years (depending on perspective) focusing on learning cold approach dating methods – specifically, day game and approaching women in any environment in New York City, especially on the street, in subways, and coffee shops. I’m consistently able to get several phone numbers a day, several dates a week, and theoretically sleep with almost all the women I go on a date with. The numbers at the moment are quite fascinating – I’ll have more to share on this soon.

From my own perspective, the ROI of cold approaching has far exceeded what I have ever achieved through any other method I’ve tried – whether through social circles, dating apps, online dating, and more. In fact, a couple of years ago I relied heavily on dating apps to meet women – and quit because it was making me lazy about learning cold approach to get the girls of quality I truly wanted. Part of this was about finding a system that works well for what I want; the other part has just been about truly following an unconventional idea.

More Tools to Help Conquer Your Fear of Approaching Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

fear of approaching women
If you want to get laid, approach lots of girls. Sounds simple, but what if approaching women terrifies you? These tools will help you conquer your fears.

Approach anxiety is the #1 problem every guy thinks he has.

I say “thinks he has” because once you get over your irrational fear of striking up conversations with attractive women, a whole world of dating possibilities bloom. But you can’t even seed that journey if you’re too afraid to approach.

#2 is knowing “what to say” to girls.

The two are connected.

You don’t approach because you don’t know what to say – you don’t know what to say because you don’t approach. It’s a paradox with a very simple and logical solution.

How to Be Funny: 15 Secrets the Best Comedians Use

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

how to be funny
Want to learn humor that makes you friends and gets you laid? You’ve come to the right place. Here’s a crass and thoroughly offensive lowdown on how to be funny.

Whew, lad. This is going to be fun.

Me talking about comedy is usually a dangerous topic because I have very poor filters. I have zero limits on what I’m willing to discuss.

When I started to write this article, I was going to stray from super contemporary topics, but I couldn’t resist. It just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t address some current ideas, and I’d feel like I was no longer being neutral, but outright cowardly.

However, I’m also not a culture warrior. I will briefly discuss culture, but in a detached way. MY philosophical/political leanings are pretty clear if you read my articles, but that doesn’t matter here. I’m simply going to discuss humor.

If you don’t agree with me on what’s funny and feel like getting testy in the comments, then attack my ideas about humor, not my choice of humor.

If you come across this article and are itching to find something to offend you, there will be plenty of that in the clips chosen and the topics covered.

I’m here to teach you the structure of how to be funny, and that will require me to use examples of what I find funny.

I’ll be scholastic with this article, but if I have to make some long apology or explanation to every demographic that might get butthurt at my words, it would be dreadfully boring, and you’d want to kill yourself before you finished the article. (See? Suicide joke. Strap on your panties, there’s more to come.)

You have been warned. All offense or outrage that you may experience by scrolling down is your responsibility and your responsibility alone.

Now, to the good stuff.

How to Use Listing to Set Good Frames with Girls

Daniel Adebayo's picture

By: Daniel Adebayo

frame control technique: listing
Frame control is a master weapon in seduction. And “listing” is a great way to set frames with a girl by making you stand out as someone she’d love to have sex with.

We’ve been talking a lot about frame control lately, and I’d like to chime in with a specific technique I’ve found quite handy for setting frames. Namely, LISTING.

As a seducer, there are many frame control techniques and tactics at your disposal to aid you when it comes to getting girls. You can use these techniques to direct the flow of your conversations.

Some are persuasion tactics and specific techniques to set and solidify certain frames in your seductions. Sexual frames can benefit you by giving your interactions with women an exuberant air of sexuality that can ramp up her lust for you.

There are even ways you can use frame control to talk your way into higher levels of compliance with the girls you meet. These enable you to move fast, isolate her quickly, or even take her home just minutes after approaching. In fact, there are dozens of frame control techniques you can learn to help you with each and every one of these things.

And while it’s generally recommended that a seducer on the path toward mastery should expand his toolbox as much as possible, he should also learn as many of these techniques as he can to develop a varied arsenal and complete skill set. This is especially true for seducers who subscribe to the controller class. But unless that seducer is already at the advanced level in his journey, then this is a task that could be rather overwhelming.

Like I mentioned earlier, there are many, many frame control techniques out there, and after I took the time to learn and internalize a good chunk of them, I noticed that a number of these techniques are unfortunately quite complicated.

Faced with the task of learning all of these cutting-edge yet highly complicated techniques, it would be very easy for many students of the game to fall into information overload. It’s not difficult to end up confused and overwhelmed with the sheer number and complexity of these tactics.

But what if there was such a thing as a multipurpose frame control technique?

What if there were some extremely versatile techniques you could master that would enable you to enjoy several benefits that come with great frame control? So instead of having to learn dozens of different techniques, you could just learn a handful. After all, it’s easier to master one well-rounded method and make it a part of you first than to struggle while trying to learn nine or ten specific ones. Plus, once you’ve mastered one of these techniques and reached the point where you can use it naturally with unconscious competence – you can always come back and learn another.

The good news is these techniques do exist. And some of them are easy to learn and use.

In this article, we’re going to discuss one of these multipurpose frame control techniques. Listing is a technique I regularly use in the field because of its potency. By using listing, I was able to bed a number of pretty girls last year.

In this article, I’ll explain what listing is and how to use it. Then I’ll give some examples of how you can use this technique to accomplish a variety of important actions when it comes to getting girls. Listing can help you get better frame control and enjoy more success as a seducer.

5 Tips to Help Your Girl Enjoy Better Orgasms (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Every girl everywhere would LOVE if you knew how to help her have a better orgasm.

It's what women really fall in love with.

Not looks. Not money. Not charm.

If you make her cum hard, she will LOVE you.

You're the realest man she's ever met.

So, let's help her cum her brains out.

Here are some tips to give her a better orgasm and drive her absolutely crazy every time she thinks of you.

Frame Control Methods to Get Women in Bed Fast

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

frame control methods
In this series of posts about frame control, we’ve learned what good frames are and why they work. Now let’s talk about the methods you can use to set frames.

Hey, guys! Welcome back.

In previous weeks, we have discussed what frames are, why they are important, and what constitutes a good frame versus a bad frame.

Here are those posts if you haven’t checked them out yet:

Hopefully, with those posts you’re now familiar with:

  • What frames are
  • Their importance not only in seduction but in every social setting
  • What defines good frames
  • How you can make your framing more powerful
  • How you can better control the frame

But after all this theory, I have not given contextual examples, which is exactly what I will do in this post. We will discuss different ways in which a frame is set. This will give you an idea of what framing looks like in real life.

Even though we will not go into heavy details of how each technique is used, rest assured that each has been addressed on Girls Chase (and there will always be more to come). This post serves as an overview and starting point. Maybe you will discover new ways to set your favorite frames.

Of course, the list I am about to share is not complete, but I would say that it covers the most common methods of setting frames. My point is – there are more ways. We will distinguish between a few here:

  • Verbal and non-verbal
  • Direct and indirect
  • Active and passive

You can set frames both verbally and non-verbally. For example, you can tell a story or talk about a subject that would help set a frame. However, note that frames can also be set verbally as a response to her actions. That is often a good place to work from, or you can work with what you have in that moment. We will get more into that, do not worry.

You can set the frame non-verbally as well through escalation and eye contact.

You can set a frame passively – through action or passive behavior that dictates the vibe. For example, when you build social proof, you will automatically frame yourself as a man with options who is pursued by women – a very attractive frame. But you are not directly setting a frame; it comes as a result of the context you have created.

Anyway – no more dwelling, let’s get to the meat.

I will first discuss direct ways (active) to set a frame before moving on to how to do it passively. Finally, we will discuss how to set a frame reactively.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 10: When MLTRs Ask About Your Other Women

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

When MLTRs Ask About Your Other Women
It’s generally a bad idea to let MLTRs meet or know details about your other women. But what do you do when they persist in questioning you about them?

Welcome back to the Harem series!

If you’d like to recap, here’s a full list of articles in the Harem Series so far (in order):

  1. Queen Theory
  2. Jealousy and Discretion
  3. Compartments and Precedent
  4. Tiers of Girlfriends and a Man's Capacity
  5. Phases of Non-Monogamous Relationships
  6. The Talk
  7. The Ethics of Non-Transparency
  8. Non-Monogamy and Revolving Doors
  9. What Happens When Your MLTRs Meet?

In Part 9, I covered a real-life example of what happened when I brought three of my multiple long-term relationship (MLTR) girlfriends to the same event with me – long story short, it wasn’t a good experience. Even though I felt like a King having all of my girlfriends with me, and even though my pre-selection rose sky high at the event, it caused unnecessary complications and drama with every woman involved, including one that stopped seeing me altogether.

One of our goals with having a harem is to date multiple women with as little drama and management as possible. As you can surmise from my articles in the Harem series, managing your harem and your women is a process in itself – you’ve got to constantly keep tabs on your women and manage them in the context of your system.

While the harem system is not a good fit for the lazy person (it’s much better for the active hedonist), the payoff is equally great when you’re getting love, attention, devotion – and sex – from several women a week, plus opportunities to sleep with new women when you meet them down the road.

For everything to work correctly, we must minimize the drama and anything that might cause it – both for your sanity as you run the system, and also for the women themselves. Our goal is to keep the women we like who are low drama in the system for as long as we can through excellent management. By doing so, you get to have an abundance of women to spend time with every week so you can focus on other things besides game and pickup.

Anyway, women being women, they will still question you and test you about this, especially when they want to see where you stand.

8 Ways Men Over-Game Women in Pickup

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

over-gaming women
Guys who do pickup and seduction often over-game women; she’s ready to smash, but they keep spitting game. Here are some tips to avoid falling into that trap.

Are you making success with women more complicated than it needs to be?

Most likely you are. I know – because been there, done that.

In seduction, true beauty is found by taking something rough, disorganized, and raw, then whittling it down into its most pure, functional form. You strip away the excess until all that’s left are results. Or, at least, a sharpened tool, or polished art form.

That’s the idea anyway.

Back when I was a noob, there was this cute barista I wanted to bang. I didn’t realize at the time that I could have had her simply by saying “Hey, what are you up to tonight?” Instead, I’d go in there, order a coffee and practice my game on her.

I’d use push-pull, making fun of the way she wiggled her nose when she talked, or how her lips curled upwards when she was annoyed. I’d show her new gambits, like palm reading, or the horsey flowers routine. I’d do everything except pull the trigger and ask her out.

One day she’d had enough. In the middle of one of my jokes, she said, “Tony, why don’t you just get real with me?”

“Just get real.” Uggh. She was right. I’d been over-gaming. Trying way too hard. Practicing rather than seducing.

Taking something incredibly complex and skill-based seems as if it’s natural, easy – even effortless, as if you were born gifted. That’s the law of Sprezzatura. But to get to Sprezzatura, you’ll have to earn it.

It’s the process of earning your skill that leads you through the land of try-hard, where over-gaming rules the experience.

Rather than focusing on hundreds of theories and tactics, focus on maximizing your strengths and minimizing your weaknesses. Simplify your game.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up Girls Who Are Out to Be Seen

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl out to be seenThere's a certain kind of girl you'll meet when you frequent social venues.

These girls are out for a specific purpose: they want to be seen.

They want people to see them: how good they look, how popular they are, how in-demand.

Any kind of social venue will have women like this:

  • Nightclubs have them
  • Lounges have them
  • Bars have them
  • Parties have them
  • Wine tastings have them
  • Art gallery events have them
  • Charity events have them

Now, you might at first think if a girl is out to be seen, she's not a worthwhile prospect for a night of bedroom delights. Yet that's not always the case. The psychology of a girl like this is one of seeking validation. She desires the validation of 'being seen'... she wants others to see her, think well of her, and admire her.

In some cases, you can turn this drive of hers for validation directly to your advantage, and become a source of validation she pursues. In other cases you can serve as a kind of reprieve from the pressures of validation-seeking; one she can run off with later on in the night once she's quenched her thirst for validation.

Today we'll talk about some tactics to use to bring these types of girls to bed.

But first, we should explain whom these women are and what's happening in their heads a little bit more.