Emotions

In any endeavor there are two kinds of difficulty:

• Those obstacles that can be overcome by the resources you have access to (in the woods you can make a fire to keep warm),

• And those obstacles that cannot be attained by seemingly any means (in those same woods you find out what it takes to survive).

In response to these two types of difficulty there are often two ways people respond: they become a "workaholic" in regards to the things they can influence, or they become a "protestor" for a certain kind of symbolic change that will modify what is attainable and what isn't.

These two kinds of difficulties lead to much of what you can see in the world, whether it be the man protesting how girls need to change, or the man who constantly strives to be "on top" so that he might have greater perceived value than others.

When it comes to HARD work both types of men have justifications for their own version.

Whether the argument is about responsibility or about change often shapes a man's image to the rest of the world. Is he hard at work at being the best of the choices we have, or is he hard at work to expand/change those choices? Both approaches have their merits, but I introduce you to these two approaches to illustrate a third kind of difficulty.

Heart.

In the article on bids for connection, a commenter asked about the following fear about random people recognizing him as, essentially, 'that pickup artist guy', and creating trouble for him:

“What's really missing is in your articles to cover - most men have rooted lifestyles, so whether they know it consciously or not they meet mostly the same people every day. We are aware that coworkers don't change daily, but other people - people who goes to the same shops, uses the same public services are pretty much the same people, and if you live in a 500,000-1,500,000 people city you think consciously that you always meet different people, but in most cases the people you see around are the same people you've seen two weeks or two days before and just don't care to remember them. I've experimented with it and seen that there are people I meet pretty much everyday or at least once in a week, because of daily schedule which is highly repetitive. I notice the effects of what they call this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthday_problem which in a nutshell means that running into the same items (people, numbers whatever) is more likely than it may seem. If you have 10000 people using public services at the same time, and then you see ~20 all the time around you, it doesn't mean that you run into the same person only 0.5% of the time, it's much higher percent actually and it grows with every day you expose yourself to the world until you expose yourself to the same and same people again and again without consciously knowing it.”

He goes on to discuss the fear of being called out by a "nagging old lady or angry psycho of some kind" who may say something mean, and notes that a "large clump of guys [may] never start the game because of emotionally feeling the high percentage of such shaming happening [i]s a big danger to their identities of "good guys" they work so hard to preserve."

It's a perfectly natural concern and, in fact, one I wondered about myself early on. It's one worth paying some attention to, in all honesty, and I'll tell you why and how to do that in this post as well.

However, the biggest lesson you'll see with this kind of thing is the same one this same commenter notes at the start of this same comment: "You've got hundreds of articles less or more discussing pretty much the same topic of "Just move your ass and do the thing, accept early failures and later get awesome results!""

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I might as well save you 10 minutes if you don't feel like reading: the advice here is going to be exactly this: just move your ass and do the thing... and this fear magically vanishes. -Poof!-

Surprised? No? Well, let's look at why, at least.

In my article “Tactics Tuesdays: Calling Her When Texts Don’t Pan Out”, commenter AnonDude asked the following:

“I found that interesting and it would be great if you could write a post on different styles and goals of seduction, pros and cons of each, combinations of different styles and stuff like that.”

I thought this’d make for a fun article, so decided to write this one next.

Now, this might not necessarily be as practical an article, since, as you’ll see, you are what you are and you like what you like and you don’t have much, if any, conscious control over that.

Nevertheless, this may still be useful for you: we’ll be looking at what you want, why you do what you do, and what things you ought to be focused on (and what things not).

Let’s talk about what the 3 sorts of lady-killer are... and figure out which one you are.

It’s Thursday afternoon, you planned on hitting the streets (or was it bars?) to chat up some girls, but as the day is coming to a close and you feel the daily stresses are taking their toll on you, you find yourself thinking how maybe today is not the best day to do it, after all:

• “I had a stressful day.”

• “I need to wake up early tomorrow.”

• “I don’t feel like my best self, and surely it won’t be as effective…”

You even start bargaining with yourself:

“Hey, you know what, I better hit the gym after work, eat a healthy meal – I’ve been meaning to improve my physique for some time now. Here’s my chance.”

Or

“I could stay at work for a little while longer and cover some of tomorrow’s tasks. This way tomorrow I’ll have an easier day and feel so much more energetic to go out and meet women.”

Then it hits you…

“Yes! Tomorrow I will feel so much more like it, I will have a good night’s sleep, wake up earlier, get myself ready and sexy, and I’ll even talk to twice as many women for skipping today. Yes, tomorrow!”

So you go home. You didn’t stay at work to finish tomorrow’s tasks nor did you hit the gym on your way back. Instead of a healthy meal you grabbed an XL combo meal at a fast food joint and stayed up late watching re-runs of “The Office”.

And yet for some reason you kind of feel good about yourself. After all, tomorrow you will make it all worth it!

You don’t have to be a master of observation to realize most guys flat out suck when it comes to flirting. And this isn’t even necessarily because they don’t know all the right techniques. The reason for it is actually much more fundamental.

What is this fundamental reason, you ask?

Only this: more often than not, we repress our emotions and act too stiff or too mechanical.

Just imagine what a terrific flirt you could be… IF you didn’t repress your emotions.

Why do we repress them?

Out of fear of failure and public humiliation if efforts fall flat, or *gasp!*… a girl snubbing you. Repress them, and snubs and failures seem easier to shrug off.

But imagine what it’d be like to be completely comfortable flirting… with even the hottest girls you meet.

What would you have to do to be that guy? That’s what we’ll be covering today.

Welcome back,

If you remember our last post, I covered an evening out in Bulgaria where I totally failed – the failure was due to what we labelled as “inflation”. Now the principle of inflation can be defined as follows: when you deliver too much of the same seduction material (humor, sex talk, language patterns, cocky lines, etc.) it loses its impact. There are numerous reasons for that:

• It loses its value; women and humans in general do not value things they can easily get. If you give her a lot of, say, “funny lines”, then she will not value them as much anymore.

• It can in worst case scenarios make you come across as needy/“trying too hard” and ruin all her attraction for you.

Now this is just a quick recap of my last post. The theory of inflation is explained in-depth there. At the end of that post I shared a number of ways we could avoid having to deal with such situations in the first place.

A lot of guys new to game view clubbing as a natural and easy first step. We think that immediately jumping into the deep-end and trying to swim is “obviously” the biggest and best move we have at our disposal to get more success meeting girls. But what if jumping into clubbing too fast reduces opportunities and causes early plateaus?

When it comes to clubbing, if you don’t hit the right notes, it is very easy to slip into the background of the club, ignored and unsuccessful, and being in that background encourages all kinds of bad habits and mistakes to form or grow out of control.

If I was to sum this central message of this article intro one sound-byte, it would be: make sure you are going in with a good chance of coming out ahead. Doing so obviously comes down to solid foundations, but it also comes down to some very specific foundations that are needed in clubs specifically.

The guys at Girls Chase have covered some of the big ones, like moving fast, selection, and mindsets, but there is another layer of preparation that exists just below this advice that ensures you optimize your clubbing, whether or not you can pull the aforementioned off.

These pre-club foundations act like a bridge between a naturally attractive attitude outside of the club, and a naturally ACTIVE attitude inside the club.

And they’re what we’ll be talking about today.