Confidence

There’s one reality on the glowing screens. There’s another one in the realm of the five senses. You can only live in one of them. Which one do you choose?

The other day I talked a bit about screens warping men's perceptions and making them think women all lust after men with giant muscles.

This is not the only way screens have been warping people's perceptions, however.

It is just the tip of the screenberg.

For some years I, like most people I suspect, had been held increasingly captive by the state of the world.

Popular revolts, widespread protests, political polarization, transnational saber-rattling, and of course, unprecedented government lockdowns resulting in a rolling back of civil liberties in a way unprecedented since the flowering of modern liberal democracy.

Not to mention masks everywhere, gym closures, nightlife closures... and a bizarre new dystopian system where the initiated gleefully compete to boast about their excellent compliance with the rules, even as they label and shun those who refuse to comply with the same facility.

In the midst of this cultural collapse/upheaval, I've talked to more and more people who've become much more apathetic about things they used to care about than they ever were before.

The decline of dating is only one example; it's a widespread one, and one I covered (along with the statistics to back it up) here.

Yet even I found myself slowly sinking into a tar pit of progressive apathy, transfixed by the state of apparent global chaos. When you wake up and check the state of affairs and it's one item of shrieking disastrous apocalyptic news after another, who has willpower enough to do anything worthwhile with the rest of his day?

But what happens when you don't wake up and check a bunch of things... but instead just live your life?

For a lot of guys, approaching women’s a chore. Yet if you can make it not a chore, but instead a good time, suddenly it gets easier to do and a lot easier to do WELL.

When a lot of guys start out trying to do pick up girls, they punish themselves.

It's a whole lot of:

• Being awkward
• Facing rejection
• Doing hard things
• Wallowing in failure

However, if you look at the guys who are good with girls, they're all having fun with it:

1. Some of them are playful types who enjoy teasing and flirting with women.

2. Some are physical types who enjoy touching or dancing with women.

3. Some are talkative types who enjoy having a rapt female audience for their stories, insights, or theories.

4. Some are tacticians who enjoy the tactical and strategic game of seduction.

A lot of newer and intermediate guys miss this, and never focus on trying to make seduction fun.

But it's an important point to get to with your courtships. Because if you can't make it a good time, sooner or later you'll burn yourself out.

If you can make it a good time though, it becomes easy to game for as long as you like.

Many guys think giant muscles are the key to getting laid. But are they? Do hulking muscles turn you into a babe magnet… or are their effects subtler and more nuanced than this?

We had a commentator asking me the other day why I don't talk about physique more.

He thought it was because maybe if I admitted that big muscles were really the key to getting laid, I'd have to close down Girls Chase and start selling supplements.

After all... who needs to learn game when you can just get ripped?

Once you've got gigantic muscles, beautiful women just chuck themselves at you. Don't they?

Well... not exactly.

But he's right, I should talk more about physique.

However, like many things here, I'm going to give you a perspective you probably won't get elsewhere.

I'm not going to tell you physique doesn't matter. But I'm also not going to tell you you need to be on gear, lifting hard at the gym 3 hours every day, eating raw steaks for lunch, getting your delts and traps as ridiculous as possible.

Instead I'm going to tell you something else.

When you go out with the guys, do you need to be the alpha male? What if your girlfriend is there and she’s watching – will she lose respect for you if you’re not alpha?

On my article about screening vs. qualifying, reader therock asked about the necessity of being the alpha male:

Hey Chase,

I'm not sure there's an article about this specific issue on the site so I thought I'd ask.

I noticed a curious thing when I'm with my girlfriend in a social circle situation.

Say we're all going to get pizza, all close friends, including my girlfriend.

Now there's always someone who's in the lead.

Simple stuff like where to go, what to check out, etc

While I'm clearly in the leadership position with my girlfriend, I find myself in a situation where we're both being led by another guy.

I'm much more of an interpersonal leadership kinda guy. One to one with a girl I clearly lead. But in groups, it's a bit different.

I considered trying out leading he group but found it counter effective for these reasons:

1. One guy's gonna come out of top and if it's not me, I lose even more power points for trying AND failing.
2. Most of the time the guy was doing an excellent job at leading the group. He knows the best restaurants, knows where we'll have a good time (he knows the city much more than the rest of us). So no one's complaining. I've had situations where other guys made leadership faux pas and i jumped in, doing what's best for the group.
3. The leader is my friend, not hostile and never pulls crap like trying to flirt with my girlfriend.

My question to you: is it mandatory that I always lead any group I find myself in with my girlfriend?

What is its impact on attraction?

And what can one do to minimise the effects of being led by another man in front of his girl?

This is a good question, and it's a common one for guys who're starting out.

The answer is a bit nuanced, too.

Enhance your seductive character with these useful exercises. Think about things better, achieve deep relaxation, and create desired effects in women.

We’ve got a lot to cover in this series finale. So, prepare yourself for a wild ride.

Even though governments are scaling back on restrictions, we are living in a time when the vast majority of social frames instill fear and social anxiety in the women you’ll meet and seduce.

What’s more, game students and experienced ladykillers find themselves shaking off more rust than ever.

So, in this article, we’ll cover more seductive characters that will boost your day game and night game arsenals to show you how to get results in a post-lockdown society.

Creepiness isn’t about how attractive you are. It’s about behavior. Creepy people behave in ways that set off alarms in others’ heads. Cool people don’t.

What is 'creepiness'?

How do you define it?

A lot of guys really dislike this term. There are all kinds of unfavorable definitions for it out there, such as "Creepy is just what a woman calls a man she does not find attractive."

But everyone's felt creeped out by someone at some point.

Even if you're a guy, I have no doubt you've felt creeped out. Whether by:

• Some shifty character you suspected was getting ready to mug you

• Some gay guy or transsexual you suspected wanted to get with you

• Some lonely individual tagging along with you or your friend group

... you've probably been creeped out by someone.

So what is this 'creepy feeling', exactly?

In the past, I've defined creepiness as being a result of someone hiding his true intentions (see: How to Not Be a Creepy Guy). However, today we'll go deeper still.

You see, there are certain rules that govern 'creepiness'.

The better you know them, the better you will be at not triggering the 'creepy switch'.

Do women not notice you’re there? Are you… invisible to women? If so, there are a few key reasons why. And the solutions are not as hard as you might think.

I spent most of my teens and early twenties alone and depressed.

The one constant thought in my mind, the biggest source of despair, was over how invisible I was to women.