Confidence

Men hold quite various views on women. Why do men’s views diverge so sharply? Much comes down to how they meet, with different avenues leading to differing views.

We just had another conversation on the forum where a guy who does 'sugar dating' (i.e., a type of prostitution previously known as 'girlfriend experience' or GFE) argued the same line I've heard a hundred times from men who frequent prostitutes of all stripes:

You pay for it one way or another, whether the meals you buy her on a date or the house you buy her once she's your wife. At least with prostitution the whole thing's [benefits of prostitution].

This isn't an article about whether you should or shouldn't do prostitution. I've already written that article.

Instead, I want to cover some of the more common ways men meet women, and how the way they meet women colors the interactions they have with them and shapes the way they think about them.

What end must you aim for in a seduction? Is it attraction? Is it stimulation? Is it to impress her so much she chases? In fact, it’s none of these… not if you want the girl, that is.

Hey guys.

I hope you are all doing well.

Let’s get ready for some advanced stuff.

Today, I would like to reflect on how the typical “ends” in pickup and seduction are not what one should strive for (aside from shagging her, of course).

By ends, I am referring to what you want to accomplish, so you get her into bed:

• Do you impress her?

• Do you stimulate her?

• Do you make her attracted? (I prefer the word “compliance”)

Are these ends the correct ones? That’s what we will discuss. I will cover the typical concepts of ends and why they are not real ends or simply just a means to an end.

Then I will cover what the real ends are.

This post should not be confused with “the end game” of seduction and whether your end goal with a woman is a relationship or casual sex. Only you can provide the answer to that question.

So we will discuss which ends to focus on to have the most results. This is a more objective approach than trying to answer the subjective question of what type of relationships you’d like to have with women.

I will start with basic concepts and get into complex stuff later. Let’s dive in.

Society doesn’t care about men. Women are worshipped. For this reason, men can’t get women. Is this true? Or is it… fantasy?

We had a guy register on our forum and derail a thread to talk about how if you're "not in the top 1% of men" women don't want you and you can't get girls.

Needless to say, this is a guy who admittedly does not get girls. So he must know all about what it takes to get girls, eh?

Am I in the top 1% of attractive men? I suppose it depends how you determine that. I tend to think I am, so long as you're taking into account charm, social abilities, resolve, and whatnot. But I can tell you I definitely was not when I started out on this journey... and I still got girls. Some of them quite hot, too.

I shagged a fashion model when I had a beer belly, baggy clothes, mumbled talk, and a little boy haircut! I got a beautiful, vivacious girlfriend who was the niece of the former Secretary of Defense of a Latin American country around the same time! (she didn't want to date me at first, but persistence paid off!)

Our Field Reports Board on the forum is filled with lays from guys who aren't yet in the "top 1% of men" (as well as some guys who probably are!).

But this isn't about "do you need to be top 1% to get girls" (I've already addressed that elsewhere).

This is about this particular excerpt from one of this user's posts in his forum thread:

But it is true though.  Women are propped up and worshipped by society.  Men are disposable and basically thrown away like defective toys.  The only ones with any real power, control or lasting effect over women these days are the 1 percent.

There it is, isn't it?

"Women are worshipped. Men are disposable. Only the top 1% of men can rise above it."

Let's talk about that mentality, and how guys get it... and also why it's a sack of over-ripe mainstream media brain-slave cow manure.

Must you be driven to succeed at seducing women? It depends how far you want to take it. Also discussed: success in other areas of life vs. with women.

I'd like to talk today about 'drive'. Drive to greatness in anything, be that seduction or anything else.

If you don't care about greatness or aren't seeking it in anything, the discussion in this article is moot to you. You don't need to be great to get girls. You can use the material on Girls Chase without needing to be some legendary seducer and still enjoy as much success as you want.

However, we also get guys coming here who want to talk about greatness; so let us talk about that.

I see this issue raised from time to time that asks whether focusing on women is a distraction. Learning to find, approach, talk to, flirt with, ask out, and bed women may be pulling a man off his grander purpose(s), goes the reservation.

There's some truth to this, of course; when you're very focused on women, you won't tend to be focused on whatever else you are doing.

However, there's another truth, which is this: the rate men succeed at seduction has a lot more in common with the rates they succeed at other passions in their lives than it 'takes away' from such things.

Because, you see, there are underlying factors that impact how well a man does and how far he goes in this art... and many of these underlying factors have a great deal of overlap with other areas of that man's interests.

Rather than seduction 'pushing them out', it's more the case that a man who is sufficiently driven will tend to excel in seduction alongside a few other areas of excellence too.

Men with Asperger’s struggle with “social confusion.” Others often behave in ways that seem irrational to them. Why is this so, and is there anything they can do?

I write this article for every guy on the autism spectrum, whether he's on it a little or on it a lot.

I'm not an expert in autism or Asperger's, but I will say this: after coaching social skills for a dozen years on a site that attracts many folks on the spectrum, due to

1. said folks really needing social skills training, and

2. this site being more drilled-down and nuanced than any other site (something of particular appeal to autistic folk)...

... well, when it comes to the autism spectrum, I know it when I see it.

I'm going to focus on Asperger's in this piece; that is to say, high functioning folks on the autism spectrum with normal language and intelligence who, nevertheless, have a significant social stumbling block.

I want to lay out some of the (very) common stumbling blocks I see Aspies making, again and again, when they start learning dating, and I want to highlight a missing 'sense' these men have, that they may not realize they're missing, that, at least, the knowledge of its lack can help fill in some blanks for them.

Can you preserve your value by not taking risks with women or people? The truth is you can’t; social and romantic value is predicated on risks.

There's a recent post on our forum where a forum member claims seduction is dangerous for men because at some point in the seduction a man must make a big, risky move and "give up his power."

The member cites a few instances he says are examples of this:

The sexual inuendos, the sexual misinterpretations and sexual overload techniques, etc They all show intent and give the power away. For example

"You turn me on so much when you do that [whatever] or wear that [whatever]". You then inmidiately give her the chance to reject your intention and make you drop your social value if she responds something like: "Yes but Don't get any idea. It wont happen [and she walks away].

If there are friends or people around, they will think "You are such a Loser".

I mean, every time you escalate you are giving your power away.

Thus, men are confronted with a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation, he says:

Hold your value and not get laids Or Risk Your value but You increase the chance to get a laid.

Pretty tough choice he's lain out for men, isn't it?

Either you're a valuable dude forced to go woman-less, or you're a potentially-devalued dude who gets women.

Yet, nevertheless, this thinking on how value works, and how other people assess yours, is deeply flawed.

It is, in fact, not how "other human evaluations of your value" work at all.

How much does dick size affect your ability to get laid? Can girls tell your dick size before you hook up with them… and what happens once the clothes come off?

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I want to put the nail in the coffin on an old discussion that seems to re-occur on seduction forums, on the web, and in face-to-face discussions between men.