Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Girls Who Seek Attention, Part I: What Are "Attention Seekers"?

Alek Rolstad's picture

girls seek attention
Women love to get attention from men. Why girls become attention seekers, and how to interpret what they want, is key to getting somewhere with them.

Hey, guys. I hope you are ready for a theoretical post regarding female psychology.

Today I will share some in-field observations I have made recently concerning attention-seeking behavior in females. Now, this phenomenon is nothing new to me; however, it wasn’t until recently that it became clear to me how to deal with it. Yes, I have had encounters with attention seekers before and have managed to have sex with them, but it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized a post about the subject would be highly valuable to many of you guys, as you will inevitably meet attention seekers in your seduction adventures – it is more or less impossible not to.

All women seek attention; some more than others. We will discuss why they do and which parameters affect their behavior. The idea here is for you to understand how the process works and its impact on your interactions with women. I believe that by covering this subject, many lightbulbs will illuminate and a lot of things you are experiencing when interacting with women will make more sense.

As mentioned, this post will cover the phenomenon, the causes, and the impacts. Next week, however, in Part II of this series, we will cover the solutions to the problem.

Why Girls Sleep with Cads Fast (and Put Boyfriends on the Slow Track)

Denton Fisher's picture

boyfriend slow track
Girls “slow track” boyfriend candidates for a variety of reasons. So what must you do to be the guy on the fast track – to her bedroom and beyond?

This is a touchy subject for most. I first and foremost believe in treating everyone with respect and love. However, sometimes it is best to be real and not sugarcoat the dating scene with the ideals that have been littered among our society by Disney and such. Sometimes it is best to deal with the world with a Machiavellian eye. If this bothers you, best not read any further. Otherwise, read on.

Whenever I talk to men, I hear the same thing over and over. It must be so easy to be a girl; they get guys so easily. Everyone wants a cute girl. Well, not to burst any bubbles, but both sexes have their troubles. Being a women is not easier, just different.

In the arena of dating, yes, girls can generally get sex whenever they want. If you are a cute girl, you can go anywhere and get a guy, but you cannot necessarily tie him down. It is hard for girls to keep a man who is worth a damn.

Let me put it this way. The crucial difference here between the sexes in terms of dating is that girls can have sex whenever they want but have a hard time achieving their goal of a relationship; we gentlemen have a hard time getting sex but an easier time getting a girlfriend out of the situation. In this way, the goals of each sex can confound the achievement of the goals of the other.

"Girls Only Want Good-Looking Guys or Young Guys"

Chase Amante's picture

girls only want young guys
The most attractive thing to women is neither youth nor beauty. So why do so many guys think girls only want good-looking guys or young guys?

Okay, I want to talk about the “girls only date good-looking guys” or “girls only date young guys” thing. I have more intellectual articles against these positions and I’ll share them with you in a moment. But intellectual arguments aren’t always the best way to get the message across, especially when guys are deep in a certain viewpoint.

First let me share a comment from a reader of my “When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?” article from last week:

Keep deluding yourself that youll be more attractive to women as you get older. I have never heard a younger woman say Kevin Spacy or Sean Connery was “hot.” Only older women. Women in the past had to settle down with older men because they didnt have the means of supporting themselves. Thats it. If she had the choice and the income theres no way she would choose him over a younger guy. Plus, do you think its right that older men had relationships and children with teenage girls? Its a pretty messed up system because a girl hasnt even lived her life, and you know if the girl could support herself theres no way she would go for that older man6. Girls go for older men because of convenience, not because of attraction.

To which I responded with a screen grab of a bunch of young chicks swooning over Old Man Connery on Yahoo Answers, plus a picture of Sean having a merry laugh:

Sean Connery sexy to younger women

There are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of younger men than anywhere else on Earth, who remain very attractive to younger women even into quite old age. And there are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of good-looking men than anywhere else on Earth, who are very attractive to women despite plain or terrible faces. This is undeniable. The only way you can pretend these men don’t exist is if you plug your ears and shut your eyes and make loud noises to yourself every time one of these guys crosses your path.

But this willful blindness/ignorance guys engage in about this subject runs deeper than just “I don’t think that ever happens or if it does it must be super rare.” It’s actually about guys with zero or very little experience with women, who do not understand women, trying to tell men with lots of experience with women who understand women very well that actually those men have no idea what they are talking about and in fact women are actually some other way.

The guys who say stuff like this are never guys you would take woman advice from in the real world. From 30 feet away you can tell these guys don’t do well with girls and don’t understand them.

I’m not trying to pick on these guys. There are a lot of men who don’t understand women, and it’s always been that way historically. Women are hard to fathom. This entire website is dedicated to helping men who don’t understand women come to have a better understanding of them.

But when you get guys who do not understand women trying to talk about how they know women so well and that actually all these things that are commonplace things that happen with women are in fact impossible and never happen, you get this weird bizarro world perspective on dating emanating from certain corners of the male sectors of the Internet.

And we need to talk about that.

How to Plan a Party that Makes You Friends and Gets You Girls

Chase Amante's picture

how to plan a party
The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more.

We've had guys on Girls Chase asking me for years for a party planning guide that will help guys make awesome friends and meet beautiful girls. Most of the women I meet I meet via cold approach (i.e., I see a girl I like wherever, so I just go talk to her). And most of my friends I've met either via other friends or from forums (often private forums) I participate on.

However, there was a time I used to throw parties. Great parties, exclusive parties, with high status men and beautiful women.

Sometimes I threw big parties, with hundreds of people in attendance. And more often I threw smaller soirees with 25 to 40 people (which are generally easier to manage and better to connect with people at... and hook up at).

I didn't start off good at party planning. The first party I threw, a Halloween house party a few days before the holiday (back in 2007), saw a total of four people show up: one close friend of mine at the time, who flew down from Chicago for what he thought would be a legendary bash, and three random guys sent there by some girl I'd asked to come (she didn't come, but she sent some dudes I didn't know over. First rule of party planning: random dudes showing up = not ideal). This after I'd spent weeks preparing for the party – my decorations were awesome! – and loads of cash on drinks, candy, and other snacks. My friend, myself, and the three random dudes ended up heading to a bar after about 40 minutes when no one else showed up.

I spent the next 3.5 years going to every party I could and picking the brains of the party planners before I felt confident enough to try another party of my own. And once I did start to throw my own parties, unlike that first attempt these parties were hits.

What I learned along the way, from first flop to final bash, was how to plan a party a lot more people showed up to... for, in general, a lot less work.

This is my guide to that. And while it will be easier than what I did in 2007 for that go-nowhere bash, it'll still be some work – don't think this will be a cake walk.

It's going to be work. But if you want to build the kinds of parties that make all your wildest party dreams come true, and be the man of the hour yourself, you're going to want to build them yourself, too.

The Problem with Gaming Girls You Don't Like

Hector Castillo's picture

girls you don't like
It’s good practice to chat up girls you aren’t much into. But what happens when your ego gets involved? You mustn’t let girls you don’t want affect you.

I had a bit of a breakthrough recently. It was almost childish that this was a lesson I hadn’t truly integrated into my psyche, though I’ve understood it conceptually for the longest time. Hell, it was a flaw that I had fixed in a few of my coaching clients, to their benefit, but I thought I had moved past it.

‘Tis the blinding power of pride. You think you know something because you understand it backwards and forwards, but it’s a very different thing to know something on the cellular level – to feel it.

What was this lesson?

Don’t game girls you don’t really like.

Seems simple enough, right? Duh.

But not so quick... let’s set some groundwork.

Fractionate Your Eye Contact, and Make Your Eye Contact Mesmerizing

Alek Rolstad's picture

mesmerizing eye contact
Want to make the women you gaze at find your glance irresistible? A simple dash of fractionation added to your eye contact is all it takes.

Hey, guys. I have shared a lot of practical techniques lately in addition to different strategies and tactics. My latest technical contributions have mostly been verbal gambits. Today, I decided to share some nonverbal techniques.

Personally, I find both verbal and nonverbal techniques to be equally powerful; they just have different uses. Here are a couple posts I have written about verbal vs. nonverbal game.

I think it all comes down to:

  • Who you are – some people prefer one form to the other

  • Context – some contexts are better for verbals; others are made for nonverbals

  • What pros and cons you want to live with

  • What kind of frame and vibe you want the seduction to follow – how you proceed will affect the pace, vibe, and frame

Anyway, without further ado, I am about to share a very simple yet powerful seduction technique that you can use:

  • In clubs
  • In bars
  • During day game
  • At parties
  • And even on dates (if calibrated right)

Oh that’s quite interesting, isn’t it? This technique doesn’t require much brain power, either. This is a post that suits readers of all levels, particularly intermediate guys. Beginners can also give this a shot.

I will start off by sharing the technique, then I’ll explain the mechanism behind it.

When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?

Chase Amante's picture

too old to party
At some point, you can’t go to the club or the frat party anymore. But when do you get to old to party? And can you ever get too old to meet girls?

We have a few guys on the comments and in the discussion boards who are fixated on age. These guys (in their late 20s or early 30s) worry about the future: they’re not living the lives they want right now, and they fear that in a few years it will be too late. Life will have passed them by, and they will forever regret not having done what they always longed to do. Here’s an excerpt from a recent forum post by Oh Pry:

I like the idea of celebrating a holiday or special time of the year with a party and going to events with hot girls but at times I do like to get put it into perspective to see how long I have until I start to feel like the old guy in the group.

Even on this forum I doubt members over 30 are spending Halloween going to a party with a hot girl or having a hell of a Christmas party with hot girls doing kinky shit.

Any thoughts on this?

We also get guys who stop by and express regret or depression that it’s too late for them and there’s little left for them to do. These are mostly men in their mid-to-late 50s... but we get guys in their 20s who express this same sentiment too.

I want to tackle this article from two perspectives. One is the mindset perspective: that is, why it’s counterproductive to worry someday you’ll be too old, or feel depressed because you think you already are too old. The other will just be a straight age-opportunity rundown: what places are available venues to you at different ages?

How Much Interest to Show a Girl (The 3 Considerations)

Chase Amante's picture

show girl you're interested
Each girl needs you to show a somewhat different amount of interest in her at different phases of the courtship. There are 3 keys to this: her interest, her type, and calibration.

A few weeks back, a reader commenting on my article “The Single Guy’s Guide to Starting Fresh in a New City” asked a few questions, including this one:

How to show interest while maintaining a sense of mystery and make her wonder whether or not you like her?

The only short answer to that question is ‘it depends’. It’s calibration. Some girls you show more interest in, some girls less.

The long answer involves a few steps: you need to know how interested she is, you need to know whether she responds better to aloof men or interested men, and you need to calibrate accordingly.

If You Want to Do Well with Girls, Fundamentals are Everything

Hector Castillo's picture

fundamentals are everything
Your game and your mindsets (inner game) are important. But the only thing women see and experience firsthand is your fundamentals.

This is one of my axioms of game. I consider it true on a biblical level.

Game is fundamentals.

Traditionally, we think of fundamentals as that which attracts bitties.

Your face. Your fashion. Your muscles. Your walk. Your voice.

These get your foot in the door. She’s interested enough to give you a hint that she wants to talk, be it a smile or a prolonged stare, and she’ll give you a good shot once you approach.

Afterwards, you spit game and try to amplify the already established attraction into arousal and lead her to bed.

Fundamentals get her interested. Game gets you inserted.

How are they equal, then?