Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.7: Locked-In Positioning

Alek Rolstad's picture

lock in positioning
How do you get in the ideal position to lock yourself in with a group of girls? Our resident night-game expert shares his strategies – with diagrams!

Hey, guys! Welcome back. So this is my final addition to the locking-in part of this series. Today, we will get straight to the point and discuss the aspect of positioning within the larger concept of “locking in”. Previous posts applied to most types of pickup, including day game (I even added some examples in my previous post). However, this one is dedicated primarily to night game.

I recommend that you read the other posts before this one. I won’t repeat myself too much here. The fundamentals were covered previously, so I won’t go into them in much detail now. You must be familiar with what locking in is and why it’s useful before proceeding with this post.

Quickly explained, “locking in” is part of the hook phase. The idea is to make it seem to the outside world and the girls you are interacting with that you have been accepted into their group.

There are two ways this can happen – one is to build compliance and become accepted as a natural progression. The issue here is that it can take some time, and occasionally, you may not become locked in even with high compliance with your girls, simply because women are passive and may not invite you in, even if they really like you.

That’s why we use locking in: to speed up and control the process. We want as much control as possible. The way this works is that by positioning ourselves or creating a scenario that sub-communicates that we are part of the group, we will make the girls (and dudes) backward-rationalize into accepting us being there (i.e., “This guy is positioned in a way that communicates that we’ve accepted his presence – that must mean we accept him!”).

Today, we will discuss how positioning can affect this. We will get practical later, but before we start, let’s discuss some of the real basics regarding positioning.

Fixing Your Woman's Bad Behavior with Sex

Chase Amante's picture

fix bad behavior with sex
Want the most enjoyable way to fix a girlfriend’s bad behavior? Do it with sex! However, you must be careful to do this the RIGHT way…

I was too late with yesterday’s Recommended Reading list to make Tactics Tuesdays this week. But we’ll still cover a useful tactic for your relationships regardless.

Today’s tactic focuses on fixing a female partner’s behavioral problem through a mix of calling a problem out both before and during (good, but not great) sex.

This is an ‘intermediate’ level tactic and up. I don’t suggest it for beginners... you need to be fairly dominant already with women to pull it off, and you need fairly solid social calibration/timing. If you’re still building your confidence around women, save this tactic for once you’ve built up more.

You’ll also want to save this for your more girlfriend-level relationships. Using it with friends with benefits is too much; while it’s a great technique for behavior-shaping, it also communicates to the girl that you are really looking out for her, and this is a bit too much for casual relationships.

The gist of the technique is you will tell a girl to knock off a bad behavior... then begin sex with her... then, when the sex is good (but not before then), you’ll tell her in a dominant-yet-protective way that you want her to cut off the behavior and how it is for her own good.

Before we get to the technique though, we need to talk about one aspect of it.

Recommended Reading 2018: Lubbock's List and More

Chase Amante's picture

recommended reading
A collection of books across many genres Chase recommends. History, business, biography, psychology, spirituality, self-defense… there’s much to read.

I wrote a post in 2012 about books I’d read and would recommend to readers. It’s been six years since then, and I’ve had numerous folks over the years ask me for an updated list. This is that updated list.

I won’t include books already on my 2012 list, but I still recommend them all. The books on that list by Jared Diamond have come under academic scrutiny more recently, and have not necessarily stood the test of time. Still, even those books were fun reads... and everything else on my 2012 list I’d continue to heartily recommend. You can see that list here.

Full disclosure: there are Amazon affiliate links for these books in this post. I almost left them out, since Amazon affiliate pays such trinkets, but if we’re going to send them traffic I guess if you buy through those links some of it might as well come back here rather than all stay with Amazon. Note however that many of these books are available free online (especially the ones written prior 1950, most of which are no longer covered under copyright), so if you want to pick them up that way, you can likely find them with a quick search engine query.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.6: Lock-In Props and Moving Your Girl

Alek Rolstad's picture

lock in and move
Rapport plays a big role when getting locked in. Here are some tools to make a girl you just met feel she’s known you for much longer.

Hey, and welcome back!

So, previously we discussed the theoretical background behind “locking in” – the end of the hook phase – and creating a scenario where you can claim to be part of the interaction, if not part of the group altogether.

It doesn’t matter if you stand there talking to a group of chicks for 30 minutes. If you never get locked in – either by deliberately locking yourself in or being locked in by the girls themselves – you will most likely get nowhere.

In some cases, as mentioned previously, you may approach a group, deliver your game super-smoothly, and hit a high note, generating compliance that would lead the girls to invite you further into the interaction.

Sadly, as we discussed previously, this tends to be the exception rather than the rule. In most cases, girls won’t naturally invite you in, despite liking you a lot. The reason for this is because you are the guy – the active one in charge of making things happen. Women tend to be more passive, so they are less likely to make a move to escalate the interaction further.

Therefore, I wrote this post about the concept, originally crafted by the community godfather “Mystery” back in the 2000s. Many are familiar with the Mystery Method, yet very few seem to discuss this crucial aspect of it. Locking in is key. Period.

Relationship Management: Getting the Girl Is Just Round One

Varoon Rajah's picture

getting girl not finish line
Getting the girl is a goal, but staying with her is a process that requires continued effort. To keep a relationship strong, you have to keep playing.

I was just talking with a group of friends about how clueless some guys are about relationships. Most men are bad at meeting women. And once they find a girl they like, they’re even worse at managing relationships, so they flounder, again and again.

Here’s how the topic came up. One of my friends was dating a girl he really liked, but he’s much younger than her, lives at home with his family, and can’t hold down a job.

On the other hand, she’s in her thirties, and even though she liked my friend a lot, she didn’t feel like he was up to par to date publicly. He wasn’t ideal boyfriend material, in other words, but she still liked him and devised an interesting solution to the problem.

She continued to date my friend as a lover, hidden away behind the scenes, while she picked up a public boyfriend she could go out and be social with, and maintain the public façade of not being single. It was a situation that confused her for a long time – until her public boyfriend made so many mistakes during the relationship that she decided to dump him once and for all.

He didn’t take it well – his first reaction was to get drunk and go to her home, blocking her car in with his so she couldn’t leave. When she showed zero desire to get back together with him, he locked himself in her bathroom for an entire night, only coming out occasionally to beg her to take him back. Eventually, he vomited in the bathroom and fell asleep in it.

The next day, my friend had great sex with her for several hours. She’d lost any modicum of attraction she had left for the other guy after how needy he had become.

We talked about why things sometimes happen this way, and we deduced that most men just don’t know how to manage relationships correctly. Thus, I’m here to share with you why this is an important skill to learn, and how to go about it.

Tactics Tuesdays: 5 Mid-Pull Tips for Multiple Girls with a Wing

Chase Amante's picture

pull girls with a wingman
You and your wingman want to pull a couple of girls back home. Use these 5 tips to make sure the pull goes smooth and the girls come along.

Today’s Tactics Tuesdays is an assortment of five (5) little tactics to mind when you pull a couple girls with a wingman. These hold true whether it’s you and a buddy and you’ve pulled two girls together, or you and a buddy pull three girls, or you and three buddies pull two or three girls, or you and a buddy or buddies pull a group of guys and girls... all these tips hold regardless.

Before we begin, you may want to check Daniel’s article out, which is about inviting multiple girls home to after-parties. Though not required reading, this is generally the easiest way to invite multiple girls home at night (whom you meet in bars and clubs, or via nighttime street game) – just invite them to an after-party.

We won’t talk about the specifics of how to invite girls home in this article. You can learn more about those subjects in these articles:

This article focuses on the transition itself, mid-pull. You’ve gotten a few girls to agree to go somewhere private with you and a friend or two... now how do you keep things smooth and make sure your gals don’t decide to ditch?

How Being on Your Smartphone Can Attract Women

Hector Castillo's picture

attract with phone
Busy, waiting, or boxed in? If done right, being on your smartphone can be a powerful tool to intrigue and attract women.

A common target of social criticism these days is our obsession with phones. You’ve seen those trite, hipster videos about how all we do is stare at our screens, how we live in a fast-paced, consumerist society, which has caused us to lose touch with in-person communication, leading to our lacking social skills.

I don’t buy it. For a while, I did. It makes sense. We do live in a disposable society that throws things away when they’re no longer needed. Chase elegantly pointed that out in his article on how some guys feel like disposable dicks-on-sticks.

However, he also pointed out how this disposability goes both ways, affecting women, too.

There’s always a flip-side.

Is a Woman Ever Really "Done with Hookups"?

Chase Amante's picture

done with hookups
Women tell you they’re “done with hookups” all the time. But when they say it, do they really mean it?

A few years back, I rode down the elevator from a business conference around 8 o’clock at night. There was a woman in the elevator car with me as I rode down, and I struck up a conversation with her. She was 39; six years my senior at the time. She was married with children, but thin and shapely, and looked good for her age.

In the lobby, she revealed she was leaving the conference. I was on my way out too, and I noticed her linger a bit after she told me. She seemed like she was waiting to see what I’d say. So I told her “Me too. I’ll walk with you,” and we left together.

She was hungry; she hadn’t eaten dinner. We headed to a diner nearby. There, she ordered food and a drink. I didn’t want to eat and only ordered a drink. And she told me about her life. The vibe grew ever more intimate, and ever more charged. We got the bill; she paid for everything. Then, as we got up to leave, she said she thought she would just head back to her nearby hotel and rest. She gestured in the direction of her hotel and told me it was this way.

So, I called it off. I bid her goodnight, and walked a different way. I’d gone along with her because I don’t spend time with women in their late 30s, or women who are married with children, and I was curious how far things would progress. I never had any intention to sleep with her though. Just to have a nice conversation.

As things progressed, and the vibe got sexier, I did get a bit tempted... everything just flowed so well. I try not to break my “no girls over 30” rule, though I thought about it here since the girl looked fine and everything flowed so smooth (I’ll set the rule aside for genuinely beautiful post-30s women who don’t look like they’re post-30s... or for attractive-enough women in their 30s who make it sufficiently easy and enticing). However, I also have a rule about not hooking up with married women I know are married, especially if I know they have children, and that is one I don’t break. So I let her go... yet it stood out to me, for one reason:

I thought women her age were supposed to be ‘done with hooking up’ and too mature for all this hookup stuff, I thought.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.5: Intro to Locking In

Alek Rolstad's picture

locking in
Locking in is an effective way to build rapport and come across as high value, all while continuing to hook and attract.

Hey, and welcome back. Today, we will again talk about a subject I know a lot of guys struggle with – namely, hooking. Many aspiring seducers struggle with this phase, and for good reason. Not only does it require an element of performance, the results also rely a lot on your state. Additionally, you have little room for mistakes – you must do things right.

I know the advice I write is primarily dedicated to night game. However, most of the concepts can be tweaked to be used in day game scenarios, too. The same goes for this post – I will try to give both day and night game examples.

Now, besides the opener and pre-opener, which obviously come first, all other advice shared here can be used in no particular order. Initially, I wanted to write about group theory today (and I will do so very soon), but I felt the urge to write about a rather simple to grasp yet key concept that is often overlooked. That concept is called “locking in”.

The reason I wanted to write about this subject first is that our readership is prone to the bias that, in a series like this, the order in which articles are posted reflects a linear process.

So, if I were to post about group theory today and “locking in” next week, the reader may assume that locking in comes after having dealt with a group. The truth is, group theory is applicable whenever it’s needed, while “locking in” should happen as fast as possible.

When Girls Think You're a Player (Then Shut You Down)

Chase Amante's picture

girl thinks you're a player
If a girl thinks you’re a player, it can be a pretty uphill battle with her after that. Here’s why she thinks you’re a player – plus how to remove the ‘tells’.

I counseled a friend recently who's struggled with women for sometime. He's a bit of a 'hard case' - a guy who's been in the game a long time, is friends with many very skilled seducers, and is highly skilled at the early part of approaching and meeting women, and even good at getting girls back to his place... but he has lots and lots of trouble sealing the deal with women. After the first kiss at his place, they invariably leave.

Guys like this can be tough to work with, because things that work for almost everyone else stubbornly don't for them. And you run into the issue of the guy not knowing exactly what's wrong himself, and it being hard to diagnose if you don't spend a lot of time with him in-person.

However, one clue recently was his report on a date that didn't pan out. Early on into the date, the girl closed off a bit and made remarks such as "How fast do you usually have sex with the women you have sex with?" and "I'm someone who doesn't just hop in bed right away." This, mind you, was not when he was trying to take her home, or touching her, or hitting on her - this was early into the date, when they'd just arrived at the date location and just began to talk.

This friend gets comments like from other women too; sometimes on dates, sometimes back at his place.

And while it is common to get girls telling you things like "This is too fast for me" or "Do you always move this fast with girls?" once you're back at your place with them, peeling their clothes off, the farther removed you get from that while still receiving these comments, the more of a problem you know you have.

In this case, the problem is the 'player vibe problem'. The problem is she feels like you are a heartless player, and she is only the latest slab of meat to cross your path.

Obviously, for successful seduction purposes, this is one perception you'd like to dispel.