Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Are Casual Hookups Worse Than Relationship Sex?

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

casual hookup vs relationship sex
Most experienced guys will agree that relationship sex is better than casual hookups. But that’s not to say you should limit yourself to one or the other.

I’ve read and heard many, many, many times that sex in a relationship is better than casual sex.

You’ll see it said in most media – be it television, movies, books, or on social feeds – that being a player and having lots of casual sex is empty and unfulfilling.

While there is some truth to this sentiment, I want to dispel some of the negative connotations surrounding casual sex.

Firstly, realize some possible motivations behind the negativity.

If a man says that casual sex is empty and relationship sex is fulfilling, he will usually fall under one of a few categories.

He is most likely a guy who doesn’t get laid a lot, is envious of those who do, and tries to shame them. To dissuade other men from banging lots of girls, he will advise against casual sex. He will poison the lifestyle with claims that it robs you of meaningful connections and is a waste of time. He’ll say that you shouldn’t disrespect women by seeing them as sex objects.

This guy is wrong for reasons you already are aware of – the pursuit of women is a worthy one. There are higher goals than chasing pussy, but it’s something almost every man needs to learn, at least to a degree.

There are also women who aren’t that competitive in the dating market, so they look to undermine men – either consciously or unconsciously – from pursuing other women during their sexual adventures. Ironically, this crusade against casual sex rarely stops the protesting women themselves from engaging in it.

Occasionally, you’ll hear this from a conservative, high-value girl, but it’s usually her reacting to a specific conversation rather than going out of her way to denounce casual sex. And don’t forget about the girl who just got pumped and screwed by some guy – she’s going to cry about casual sex being lame, but the real issue is she’s mad that the guy she gave it up for didn’t want more.

Men who are experienced but not expressing themselves clearly or are currently in a down state might also criticize the player lifestyle. It generally doesn’t come from a bad place and is usually the most informative of the “casual sex is inferior to relationship sex” arguments, but one should take pause when reading or listening to such criticism.

There is an important nuance when considering whether casual hookups are inferior to relationship sex.

How to Stop Premature Ejaculation – Proven Tips from a Pickup Artist

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

premature ejaculation
A perk of good game is having sex with beautiful women. And being able to last for more than a few thrusts makes it all the sweeter – for everyone involved.

Hey, guys.

Today I will take a step away from pickup theory and instead discuss a subject related to male sexuality: premature ejaculation.

The reason I got caught up in this subject is a phone call I received the other night from a guy who is starting to pull quite often. Now that he’s started pulling hotter girls, he’s becoming frustrated that he only gets to enjoy them for a few minutes.

It sucks putting in the work just to burst your load after five minutes… or less. He wanted advice regarding this issue, and the advice I provided is the same as what you will read here.

Sometimes, you get easy lays and it goes smoothly. Sometimes, it’s hard, and you must jump through a lot of hoops. At times, you bang really hot chicks, sometimes less hot. Hopefully, you don’t bang ugly girls too often – it happens to us all – but no matter who we’re screwing, we always want to be in control of when we ejaculate.

I won’t make a guide sharing all the techniques that are already discussed elsewhere on the web, especially not the ones you’re most likely not going to use anyway. How many of you have been doing daily kegel exercises to strengthen your PC muscle and thus withhold longer? Probably very few – although it does work against premature ejaculation!

Rather, what I want to discuss is what I do when I’m with a girl. I don’t care about the sciences behind it or what some virgin doctor or scientist says. I care more about what I and other men have experienced. The techniques I’m about to share work for me and others.

Let’s get on with it.

Day Game Tour with Tony Depp, Pt.2: Openers and Body Language

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

day game tony pt2
When you talk to a girl, it’s not all about the words you say. Good insight, tone, and body language speak volumes more than words ever could.

In part one of my day-game tour, I covered the proper mindset for starting out: to not give a damn what anyone thinks about you following your naughty little passions.

Now I’m going to give you some practical advice so you can get started right away, meeting women in the daytime, on the street, at the mall, the bookstore, the Vietnamese happy-ending massage parlor. The world is your moist and succulent oyster.

 

How to Open a Girl in Day Game

Opening simply means to start a conversation or interaction. It means saying from “Hi” to “Oh my god, look at that albino midget.” Or even just farting in someone’s general direction.

There are two basic types of verbal openers: direct and indirect. Under the heading of indirect, we also have situational openers, which are my personal favorite. I’ll cover these situations with examples from my own wonderful life.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Compartmentalize Your Lifestyles

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

compartmentalize lifestyle
Compartmentalization lets you keep separate areas of your life separate – and avoid fallout from ideological clashes or failing relationships.

As you become more active socially, some things get hairier. You meet more and different kinds of people. You start to run in some very different circles. And eventually you end up with friends and connections who are completely incompatible with one another. The broader and more diverse the people in your life become, the more you need to take care who you introduce to whom.

Further, the more integrated your various circles and lifestyles are, the easier it is for problems in one to snake their way into others.

To fend off mismatches and problems bleeding from one area into another, you use lifestyle compartmentalization.

The ability to compartmentalize your lifestyle is a handy one to have. It lets you prevent mismatched acquaintances clashing. It lets you avoid friends wanting you to choose themselves or others. It keeps you out of scenarios where your girlfriends judge your buddies and try to get you to stop hanging out with them.

It's easy to compartmentalize your lifestyle, yet it's something not a lot of people do. It feels good to introduce people we like to other people we like. It's lazier too - rather than do one thing and talk about certain topics with your buddy Eric, and do another thing and talk about other topics with your buddy Kevin, and do yet another thing and talk about still more/different topics with Kate, the girl you've been seeing for a couple months, why not invite them all to hang out together and do one thing, and talk about the same things with them all?

Yet failure to compartmentalize your life leads to a more limited life - because when those different people from different walks clash, they tend to decide a.) maybe they didn't know you as well as they thought, if you have this type of friend, and b.) you're going to have to decide who you really want to be with: themselves, or those other folks?

Do You Keep Thinking “I Need a Girlfriend”? Read This First

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

I Need a Girlfriend
Do you need a girlfriend? Maybe. But perhaps you’d be better off without one right now. These considerations will help you decide.

What I’ve learned over many years of teaching, mentoring, and coaching, is that my desires have not always matched those of my students and clients.

One of my most common recommendations for guys at all levels is to sleep with a few women before settling down with one.

I know – from both ends of experience – why this can be helpful for men. My first serious girlfriend was the girl I lost my virginity to. Then, a few months into dating, we had to shift to a long-distance relationship when I went off to college.

The relationship itself wasn’t bad, and I learned a lot. Additionally, my life has led me to where I am, so I have no regrets. But regarding that long-term relationship, there were many better paths I could have taken, given how many chances I had with hot, thirsty girls at college.

It’s tough to judge the past from the future, since it is self-evident that the past – every detail and crease – led to this future.

As for girlfriends, something that takes time and focus on your part... that’s a tricky subject.

When should you have a girlfriend?

The question “Do I need a girlfriend?” comes to mind, as a teacher of the romantic arts. But for many guys out there, it takes the form of “I need a girlfriend.” Two different sentiments, but both lead to the same inquiry if one is calm and introspective.

There are times in your life when a girlfriend is nice but not necessary. There are also times when you really shouldn’t have a girlfriend, and there are times when you really need one.

Do You Really Need to Know, or Is It Just Mental Masturbation?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

mental masturbation
Information is good to have, and plans can be useful. Nevertheless, sometimes it goes too far – into the realm of mental masturbation.

There's a term from the mid-2000-naughts, somewhat less popular now, called 'mental masturbation'. Mental masturbation is any line of thought people spend time on that is, for all intents and purposes, useless. It doesn't help achieve any goals or shed any worthwhile insight. The mind is engaged, but its output is worthless.

I never much liked the term. It's crude, and often dismissive. Most things, at some level, are worth thinking about. When the 'mental masturbation' meme took over mASF (the now-defunct pick up artist community forum) years back, it fast became overused to the point of inanity. New, shy guys would ask some question or other, and veterans would tell them "That question is just mental masturbation!" Which to me always sounded like the natural's retort: "Who cares about those details. Just talk to girls!" Useful for some, but a door shut in the face of others.

Yet there's certainly something to the 'mental masturbation' concept... because there absolutely is a limit beyond which continued focus on the details is pointless:

  • You're worried about getting a girl pregnant, but you haven't been laid in four months? Mental masturbation.

  • You're trying to dream up a new way to hook up with sorority girls, yet you've never hooked up with a sorority girl before? Mental masturbation.

  • You're thinking about how cool it'd be to have a playboy lifestyle, when you mostly stay at home with no social or romantic life? Mental masturbation.

It's important to realize when you've slid into mental masturbation... if only to stop wasting your time (and perhaps others') with go-nowhere fantasies and lines of inquiry.

3 Ways to Handle Women Who Are Attention-Seeking Freaks

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

attention seeking freaks
She’s super flirty or grinding you on the dance floor. So you reciprocate... but she quickly loses interest. How in blazes does one take these freaky girls to bed?

Hey, guys. Now that I’m done with my series on hooking, I can finally allow myself to move on to my next project. However, for now, I’ve decided to spend a bit of time responding to some great questions from our readership.

Here is one of those questions, from Lawliet:

When a girl makes a direct statement of interest or sexual flirting, such as:

    Her: “I did something sexy today.”

    You: “What did you do?”

    Her: “I’ll show you.”

    Her: *sits on your face*

Or this happens through role play over text – you get the idea.

When they talk like that in person, or over text, what is your way of approaching this?

Jump on her? But what if it’s over text? Invite her out?

That feels a little too reactive.

[And when you decide to react]:

    You: *jump on her*

    Her: “Hold your horses, sweetheart, and maybe you’ll get some tonight ;)”

Then we’re stuck there, hung out to dry.

Would love to hear some examples from you on girls taking the sexually aggressive role verbally. How do we not kill the tension while keeping the mating dance going? I honestly love this flirting back and forth.

This is a great question because there is a technical element at play here. I know exactly what type of situation Lawliet is talking about, and if you haven’t seen this yourself, let me illustrate with a more extreme and even more frustrating example.

How to Escape a Woman's "Gotcha" Questions

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

gotcha question
Ever have a girl hit you with a "gotcha" question, at the worst possible moment? You had just asked her out, or to come home with you, or got to bed. Then – GOTCHA!

Under my article on women not counting men they've slept with, SZ asked:

"How do we not get into the settle down relationship thing ? A girl might admit she's a slut, but she'll say something like, "you have to promise me you'll stay with me if we have sex, you have to tell me you won't leave me, will you leave me? Will you be my boyfriend? Etc.""

These are what we call "gotcha" questions. Women will hit you with them when you least expect it, and are worst prepared for it. They're tests... aimed at you at the most inconvenient of moments.

Example "gotcha" questions include:

  • You're about to sleep with her, but she stops you to ask you if you'll be her boyfriend

  • You ask her out, and she says "okay", then says "Wait, what will we do on this date?"

  • You give her a drink, and she asks "You're not trying to get me drunk, are you?"

  • You invite her home with you, and she asks "Are you trying to have sex with me?"

  • You move to kiss her and she stops you to say "This is as far as we go, right?"

I'm sure you've seen other similar questions too.

These questions may be conscious traps. Or the girl may just find her in a suddenly uncertain situation, and want a little clarity from you.

Regardless her reason for asking though, the effect on you can often amount to "Geez, what do I say here?"

10 Reasons Beaches Are Better for Meeting Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

beaches are better
Beaches are laden with scantily-clad girls with nothing better to do than watch your stuff. If clubs aren’t your thing – or even if they are – find yourself a beach!

The beach is probably the best place in the world for meeting sexy, receptive, barely-dressed women. Better than a nightclub? Hell yeah, bro. I argue they’re way better, less expensive, and easier.

My recent exploits include a trip to Thailand, where I basically lived on beaches for seven weeks and went on a date with a new, beautiful girl almost every day. I also grew up in a small town that was nestled between two beaches. Suffice to say, I know beach game.

You might be thinking you don’t have ripped abs, your legs are too skinny, or whatever other limiting belief(s) you grasp on to. Sure, women like fit men, but they also like brave men, funny men, intelligent men, and charming men. I’m not tall or ripped myself – and I slay at the beach, and you can too.