Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How Soon to See Her Again (After a Previous Date)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how soon to see herWhen should you plan your next date with her for? It depends on a few “next date determiners”, including her eagerness, both your busyness, and more.

How soon should you see a girl again after the date you just had?

Should it be the next day, a few days later, a week, or more?

Timing for your next date will often be crucial. Rush it, and you can seem over-eager or too available.

Delay too long, though, and your date may decide you aren't interested and auto-reject... or someone else may snap her up while you're waiting. Or life may intervene (she gets busy, a loved one dies, her job moves her away to Alaska, etc.).

We'll look at a few crucial factors that help determine how long (or short) you should wait to plan that next date with her.

Zero-Sum Power Dynamics & Empowering Others

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

zero-sum powerWhen people want power from you, they may pretend it’s in your interest, too. But is it? Power grabs may be cooperative, competitive, or competitive masquerading as cooperative.

I'm going to give you a way to think about power that will make many things in life clearer to you.

It is the perspective that contests of power are always zero-sum games, where anytime one person gains power, another loses it. There is no 'free creation of power' from nothing into a kind of power void. Power is always either seized or yielded by one person or group from/to others.

However, it is possible for individuals or entities to work together against external competitors to increase power jointly, at the expense of some external opponent.

You have probably been taught to not think about power this way.

You have been taught that power is 'inclusive'; that you can have power, and someone else can have power, and everyone can have power!

But the actual fact of the matter is power is exclusive; the more power one person or entity accrues, the more someone or something else loses it.

This is necessary to understand for interpersonal dynamics, and understanding societal power dynamics as well.

Dating with Herpes, Pt. 1: Dating Strategies

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

dating with herpesIf you get herpes, does it mean your dating life is over… or you’re condemned to “condoms forever”? In fact, you can be responsible, while still leading a good life.

Hey guys.

I will be deadly honest here. I never thought I would write this post. But I keep getting messages on forums about it. I even got emails about it, and very experienced seducers have asked me about this (I won’t mention names out of respect).

The herpes simplex virus causes herpes, a very contagious virus that gives those nasty bumps that ulcerate, and then you get those tell-tale sores. Yes, a cold sore is a herpes virus. There are two strains of herpes: herpes-1 and herpes-2. Herpes-1 is commonly seen on the lip, and herpes-2 shows up on your dick and balls.

However, you can get herpes-1 on your dick and herpes-2 on your mouth. So, the distinction between the two is not that important. What is important to remember is:

  • They both can be painful and have similar symptoms.

  • They are both very contagious.

  • They both have a pattern of flare-ups followed by periods of remission.

  • Herpes is almost not contagious during remission.

  • Herpes is very contagious during flare-ups (especially when you have a blister or an ulcer).

  • Condoms limit the odds of transmission but do not protect fully (unlike HIV and other STDs, for which condoms offer nearly 100% protection). Condoms are also not good protection against HPV (human papillomavirus), which can give you nasty warts.

  • Flare-ups usually last between one to two weeks but can last longer.

  • You are more contagious when you have ulcers and blisters.

  • Both types respond to treatment with Acyclovir or Valacyclovir.

Symptoms: Herpes usually starts with some redness, and you may feel a bit of itchiness. Then, a few large blisters form, or you may see a cluster of smaller blisters. The blisters burst and develop ulcers, which can cause scars if the sores break open.

You are most contagious during the ulceration phase, but during this entire phase, you will be contagious, too infectious in my opinion, for sexual intercourse.

In remission, the odds of transmission are minimal.

Why Don't All Beautiful Girls Sleep Around?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

beautiful girls sleep aroundShe’s beautiful. She can sleep with anyone she wants to. So, if she’s a beautiful girl, why WOULDN’T she sleep around with every hot guy she can get?

Commenting on my article on picking up girls with a jealousy plotline, a reader asks:

Hey Chase,

I've gotten together with a girl I met in a cafe.

That marks my first lay ever from day game!

It was not super straightforward to get her in bed but I managed.

She's beautiful, very smart, great personality, pretty good body- amazing girl.

The thing which shocks me is this:

After sleeping together, I casually asked her how many partners she's had before. I always do this and never come across as judgemental, so chicks always give me the full list, including guys who don't "really count"

So I know she's been honest with and freely opened up. She told me she had one serious boyfriend and that's it. One partner only.

I asked "What about any casual wild adventures? Some naughty action at parties or something?" She laughed and said she's not really a party kinda of person. She can drink socially but never got drunk and passed out and she despises clubs.

I guess what really confuses me is: if she's telling the truth, why on earth would a sexy girl like her not hook up? Guys check her out all the time, I'm sure they must have hit on her. It's so easy for her to have sex, yet she claims she only had one serious boyfriend.

It does not make sense to me because beautiful women can get sex on demand, so why on earth would she not use that opportunity?

It's interesting the range of expectations you see among men for what beautiful women's sex lives must look like.

There are men who expect the most beautiful women to be almost virginal. There are others who expect them to be total nymphomaniacs.

The actual truth of course is beautiful women are just like normal women.

They have the same kind of range in sexual inclinations and experience you find in the general population of girls: some with many lovers, some with few, most somewhere in the middle... with the added twist that as women get more beautiful, they trend toward fewer overall lifetime sex partners.

But... why?

Why wouldn't these girls, given the opportunity to hook up with so many hot guys, indulge?

Or, on the flip side, given the ability to not have to hook up, why wouldn't they stay virgins till marriage?

8 Ways to Differentiate Yourself with Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

differentiate yourself with womenMen who stand out in attractive ways attract far more women. There are many ways to stand out: peacocking, behavior, social proof, standout items, stages, and more.

In a previous article, I mentioned differentiating yourself with women who are used to being hit on all the time. A reader asked for more tips like this one might use to stand out with girls:

Hi chase but this concept of appearing different that in this case you do it through this technique for this type of woman how to do it in general and with different types of women? Or on women who are not like that you just have to build rapport, generate emotions and carry things forward?

It's a great question, because 'standing out' is a big part of what we do. If you can differentiate yourself from other guys... if you can stand out from the crowd and intrigue women... it makes the job of meeting and getting somewhere with girls much easier.

There are different ways a man can stand out, and guys will tend to focus on different ways to do it.

Which makes sense; if everyone tried standing out the same way, no one would actually stand out, right?

I'm going to give you the eight (8) most useful ways to differentiate yourself from the crowd.

Before we get to those ways to differentiate though, first we need to talk about standing out in general.

Learning to Love Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

learning to love womenIf you’ve been hurt by women, can you ever become a lover of women? To love women is not to ignore their flaws, but to enjoy them for their blessings.

I have always loved women.

They haven't always been perfectly kind to me. On some (fleeting) occasions, women have really been quite cruel to me. Of course, I don't think of it as "she is being so cruel to me!" because that is not how I think about things... instead I think, at worst, "Geez, here is an unpleasant person!"

I'm not a masochist; I don't stay in bad situations, and I am rather ruthless about cutting value-draining people from my life, including unpleasant or nasty women.

However, my dislike for a particular unpleasant person (or woman) does not dent my overall warmth toward womankind in general.

In this way, I suppose I'm opposite a great many men, who seem to have a general distrust of womankind, and instead busy themselves seeking out a singular "good woman" who is "not like the rest" to lash their hopes and dreams to.

Indeed, this is a human thing to do: there are just as many women distrustful of most men yet who search restlessly for that "one good man" who is "not like all the rest", just as men search for that among women.

Not every man may want to move from general distrust + "seeking the exception" to something closer to how I view women.

However, should you wish it, let me lay out a path for you to this kind of thinking.

Did the Game Drop You or Did You Drop the Game?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

did the game drop you?Sometimes it can feel like the game has changed… and things that used to work to get girls don’t work anymore. Yet the game abides. You can rebound, too.

Lately, I have been discussing issues with low momentum: the times when you feel like you’ve lost your mojo and that getting laid or meeting women is more difficult than ever. Low momentum periods are your “off periods.”

These are the periods when you get few results, and what worked well doesn’t anymore. Your energy level is low, your vibe is not as sexy, and your results have diminished.

It’s a natural part of the game. All seducers face periods of high and low momentum. How long the low periods last depends on your skill level, experience, and how much work you put into getting out of low momentum.

I have discussed the benefits of not giving up during low momentum, plus provided a guide on how to get out of it. If you are experiencing low momentum, these posts are for you!

Today, I’ll share a reflection on low momentum that stems from a chat I had with fellow experienced seducers.

Usually, I don’t write philosophical posts as I prefer to share practical insights, but I can sometimes make exceptions.

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Friendly

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

be friendlyA simple tactic that makes gobs of difference: just be friendly. Opening’s easier, hooking’s easier, and social proof becomes well-nigh automatic.

Here's a deceptively simple tactic:

Be friendly to every person you encounter.

Just yesterday we talked about conflict escalation and the dog-eat-dog world inside the prison system.

The good news is, you're a free man, and you're not in that kind of world. In this world, unless you venture into a bad part of town, you can and should be friendly to everybody.

Any time I've felt some rust or a renewed sense of approach anxiety, "be friendly to people" is the primary tactic I use to shake that off. Alek followed this same advice recently when he sought to warm up his social momentum after over a year of almost uninterrupted citywide lockdowns. It's simple, basic advice but it really works.

"Be friendly" has a ton of upsides for getting yourself approaching more easily with a lot less fear.

If you've only been doing targeted approaching -- where the only people you approach are sufficiently good-looking girls -- you may well find this alternate tactic a breath of fresh air.

Respect Maintenance: Conflict Escalation & De-escalation

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

escalating a confrontationWhen you find yourself in a conflict, you can back down… or you can escalate. How far should you take it? How do you know what the right thing to do is? A few simple rules can guide you.

I recently binge-read a series of colorful Quora answers from ex-convict Matthew Holmes. Holmes was someone who grew up, more or less, inside the US penitentiary system, and shares advice on how to survive the hostile conditions there. He contrasts the prison world with the outside world; inside the prison system, a prisoner's life is a Hobbesian war of all-against-all, where there is no real law and no one you can trust to have your back but you.

One of the many repeating sentiments in Holmes's prison advice is you must be prepared to defend your reputation at any time, and go to almost any length to do so. Holmes stopped short of killing anyone in prison (as doing so would've added an automatic life sentence to his 10-year term), but came close to it on several occasions, where he severely beat inmates who tried to fight or rob from him.

In terms of general principles, I'd call his approach to conflict "always escalate a confrontation until you win."

For some time, I've followed 'always escalate' as a general (but not absolute) rule. I generally follow it with:

  • Girlfriend drama
  • Some business disputes
  • Some physical confrontations
  • Moral high ground debates
  • Any kind of interpersonal argument

However, the real world isn't a penitentiary. It is not (for the most part) a Hobbesian situation of all-against-all.

Thus, much of the time, you will not want to continue escalating to the extremes in real life situations. In many cases it's counterproductive; the gains you get from continuing to escalate outweigh the costs.

Today I want to talk about the 'always escalate' philosophy -- which is one I've long found helpful -- and where the limits are to it where you decide to hop off that train and not always escalate.

The Group Approach Spill-Over Effect

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

spillover effectWhen you talk to one group, others take note of you. This is the “spill over effect”: a way to meet more people by meeting other people first.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Last time I shared insights on building social micro momentum or “warming up” socially before going for the girl you really want.

Why is it a good idea to warm up?

  • To eliminate approach anxiety

  • To feel warmed-up socially so you approach girls confidently and smoothly, increasing your chances of success

  • To acquire benefits like social proof and familiarity with girls so that you can re-engage later if needed

How do you build social momentum?

  • Start early

  • Select a warm venue if you feel like you are at risk of getting rejected

  • Approach in the most indirect and risk-averse way possible. The goal is to keep a few conversations going here and there

  • Interactions shouldn’t last less than five minutes or more than 20 minutes. Ideally, strive for 10 – 15 minutes

  • Don’t approach the girl you want yet, since you do not want to waste the opportunity when warming up

Once you feel ready to play seriously, you will be warmed up. Now you can approach those hot girls. You don’t need warm-ups because hotter girls are harder to approach (but not necessarily). You are probably feeling more anxious about approaching them because you find them attractive.

After all, isn’t it better to approach a girl you like when you are warmed up and have higher chances of succeeding with your approach, rather than doing so when your social muscle is still cold, and your approach may be unsmooth?