Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Give Her What She Wants

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By: Chase Amante

don't give her what she wantsGirls ask for things they think they want from you. If you give them these though the attraction dies out. Why? Because what girls want ≠ what they need!

The title for this one is a bit deceptive. Because you ARE going to give her what she actually wants… but you aren’t going to give her what she says she wants.

As you’re talking with women, they will frequently ask you for things or fish for things from you, like:

  • Compliments
  • Reassurance
  • Qualification
  • Free drinks
  • Free food
  • Other compliance

If you give a girl exactly what she asks for when she asks for it, which is what a lot of guys will do, because they feel like they have to, or see no way to decline without looking rude or insensitive, she loses attraction for you. You are not the sexy bad boy rebel she cannot tame. You are, rather, just another guy who will do exactly what she asks of him.

The challenge of course is that you can’t do absolutely nothing, either. She’s asked you for something… you have to reply in some way. You can’t just withdraw into your turtle shell to hide.

What we’re going to do with this Tactics Tuesdays piece is to look at how to give her not what she wants, but what she needs to move things forward instead.

What Motivates a Man: Pleasure or Victory?

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By: Chase Amante

what motivates a man: pleasure or victory?Some men long for pleasure. Others crave victory. Knowing which motivates you more will help you decide where how to lead the most rewarding dating life.

We’ve been talking about who cold approach pickup is for recently. There’s always a contingent of men who really loves cold approach and considers it the best. But there is also always a contingent of men who rejects it, finding it too difficult, inefficient, frustrating, humiliating, and so on.

Cold approach still works – it’ll always work; it works in every society imaginable – but it has always been hard to learn, and that it’ll also always be. Approaching people you don’t know, charming their socks off, and attracting them so much as to make them want to do things you want them to do is never going to be a simple skill to learn.

I see a chance to allay some cognitive dissonance for some readers here though about another dimension of who cold approach is for versus who it is not… while at the same time discussing male motivation, another topic of perennial interest here.

Namely, we are going to talk about the two (2) types of men there are, when it comes to motivation, so that you can better understand what YOU are really in it for – and where you’d do best to concentrate your romantic efforts.

Tactics Tuesdays: Deep Diving Off of Her Compliments

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By: Chase Amante

deep diving a girl when she compliments youUse this simple process to take the compliments others pay you and springboard off them into a deep dive.

Commenting on a recent article of mine, reader Cian requests “tips on how to gracefully reply to compliments and leverage them to further the conversation/Deep Dive process.”

His first request is simple enough. The way to reply to a compliment is, “Thank you.”

You don’t launch into a story (makes you look self-satisfied). You don’t engage in self-deprecation (makes you look uncomfortable taking a compliment). You don’t compliment back, usually – at least not instantly (makes you look reactive and lessens the impact of any compliments you do pay).

You just say thanks.

Can you use compliments as deep dive fuel though?

If so, how does that work? How do you use someone else’s compliment about you as an excuse to get to know more about your interlocuter?

Is Cold Approach Pickup Right for Me?

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By: Chase Amante

is cold approach pickup right for you?Cold approach pickup – where you pick up a woman you didn’t previously know – can be tough. Who’s it right for… and are you a man who can learn to use it?

Commenting on my recent article about dumb moves guys make on dates (which itself is unrelated to cold approach, except that if you cold approach a girl you might need to take her on a date), a reader named Mr. Loco declares his unequivocal rejection of cold approach pickup, along with his feelings on who cold approach CAN be for:

I think I've had to come into a realization that I just came into. And it's a big one since I've been taught it since day.

COLD APPROACHING IS INEFFECTIVE

Here's my philosophy on cold approach. As a guy. You shouldn't cold approach women romantically at all unless you can answer these 4 questions. And Three of these questions relate to yourself. And answer honestly. If you can't say yes to at least 1 of these questions. Then you shouldn't cold approach.

Are you very physically attractive. And don't lie to yourself. Do you get alot of likes on social media on your personal pics? Do you get alot of matches on OLD? Do women often stop in their tracks when you show up? Do alot of women compliment you?

Do you have a shit ton of game? Are women always laughing your jokes? Can you smoothly transition from topic to topic? Can you easily find great conversation to talk about? Do you know how to easily emotional connect with the girl? Are you remaining somewhat mysterious? Can you get her to open up to you? Do you use very useful pickup lines? Are you smoothly flirtatious? Can you seductively talk to her that's sexy? Can you turn her own with your words? Can you easily overcome alot of logistical issues? Can you tease her in the right way? Do you know how to keep her guessing? Do you not how to be unavailable?

Is the woman that you want to be approach giving you heavy signals that she wants you to Approach. I guess this is kinda cheating because that would technically be warm approach. But if the women is giving you signals and not just her just being friendly signals. Do approach women if they trying to be super subtle. Because they are usually hard to read anyway. Don't waste your time.

Are you a glutton for punishment? Can you approach 100 women and not feel shit if every women rejects you? Can you go on 20 interviews not get the job and not give a damn?

If you said yes to one of these questions than yeah cold approach. However if you said no to all these questions.... Then no.. you should never cold approach. Its a gigantic waste of time.

I used to buy the whole stick on cold approach but Frankly. NO MORE. I think this is a VERY outdating concept that just makes men hate themselves even more and more with each passing minute. It's just a way for the only attractive men to improve their chances. It's not for most men. Because most men are not one of the four things. I think the new age of dating coaches should actually stop teaching this to young men. It's harmful more than anything.

The simple fact is that the vast majority of men who attempt cold approach pickup are going to wash out of it, like Mr. Loco here. It is not an ‘easy’ way to meet women as a beginner unless a guy already has a number of traits and skillsets developed coming in. Most men lack these; they enter cold approach like fresh babes, naked and screaming. Like fresh babes naked and screaming is also how most of them exit, too, often rather promptly.

I like Mr. Loco’s idea of a set of questions for determining “who should vs. should not try cold approaching women.” His are not the questions I would recommend though – so I will give my own take here.

Thus let’s talk about who cold approach IS for… and who it is NOT.

In so doing, we will answer the question, “Is cold approach right for me?”

How to Make a Girl Want a Serious Relationship

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By: Chase Amante

how to make a girl want a serious relationshipNot every girl’s eager to commit. Some seem like they NEVER will! Follow these 5 steps however & make almost any girl want a serious relationship… in time.

A year ago, a member of our forum shared a particularly tough case about a girl he wanted a more serious relationship with. This gal was a wild mare – sexy, exciting, full of life, and wanted her freedom more than anything in the world.

Our forum member wanted to make this woman want a serious relationship with him. Yet everything he did to try and rope her in merely pushed her further away. She reacted the exact opposite way he hoped – when he’d move closer, she’d pull back; when he’d talk about the future, she’d shut that down.

I have made something of a specialty of seducing vivacious women other men struggle to tame. The girls I date seriously all have spurned marriage proposals from in-love beaus in their pasts. Some of the girlfriends I’ve had weren’t sure (at least before they met me) that they ever wanted marriage. They all end up doing their best to finagle me into long-term commitment, and they all ended up angling for a wedding, a house, and a family, too.

Obviously, if all you want is casual relationships, no-strings sex, and FWBs, this guide holds no relevance to you. You can safely skip this and move onto other pieces. We have plenty more guides on the site on those other topics (here’s my guide to one-night stands. And my two-parter on FWBs: the 4 phases of FWB and the 8 FWB rules).

However, if you want to know how to make a girl want a serious relationship with you, read on, and allow me open up my box of seducer’s tricks.

How to Turn a Female Friend Into Your Girlfriend

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By: Chase Amante

how to turn a female friend into your girlfriendFriends can resist dating friends. But if you follow these 7 steps, it gets a whole lot easier to turn a female friend into your devoted girlfriend.

We get a lot of guys asking about this topic. My usual advice is to stop obsessing over that one special girl and go meet more girls instead! This does a lot of great things for you – both raising your confidence and training up your skills.

Also, you will generally end up meeting girls you really like sooner or later whom you actually do end up together with. It’s a win all across the board! It’s why my general advice for how to get a girlfriend centers on looking outside your immediate social circle.

But let’s say you’re just not ready to do that yet. You’re just not ready to give up this great girl – you’ve got to take another crack at her. Perhaps you’re not in a position to meet other girls… maybe you’re in the middle of nowhere and she’s the only gal around. Maybe you’re so slammed with schoolwork or work-work that you just don’t have time to socialize with anyone but her.

So, in this article, I’ll show you how to turn a female friend into your girlfriend.

If you want to pull it off, you need to do everything in this guide – no halfway attempts! If you do it halfway, you won’t make her your girlfriend, and she will just remain your friend.

For that reason, be sure you read the guide all the way through. Then, be sure you put each and every one of these steps into action.

7 Dumb Moves Guys Make on Dates (Which They Think Are Smart!)

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By: Chase Amante

dumb moves guys make on datesGuys do a lot of dumb stuff with girls. But the worst is when guys think dumb things they’re doing are smart! Don’t be guilty of these 7 bonehead moves.

Over on the forum we had a member post how a wingman of his told him it’s a bad move to let girls drive you around on dates. It leads to a “loss of frame”, the wing claimed, because then you are not in control of the car. You are under her power. His wingman further claimed that:

Also, anything can happen when a girl is in the driving seat, such as she can go to any place she wants that is not within my seduction plan. A girl's mind is emotional so her plans can change anytime, and we would like to reduce the chances of this.

This is some real dumb, keyboard jockey thinking on the wingman’s part here. As a guy who never, ever has liked to drive women around if he can avoid it – and hasn’t driven at all in many years now; in fact, my driver’s license is nine years expired, likely to never be renewed – let me just tell you: having women chauffeur you around is the best thing in the world.

And yes, you are more likely to end up in bed with them when they do the driving than you do when you do it.

But this article isn’t just about driving.

It’s about all the dumb moves guys make on dates (plus the initial approach too), which they think improve their positions with girls, that actually make things worse.

Tactics Tuesdays: Retroactive Discounting (Buy-In Tech)

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By: Chase Amante

retroactive discountingHow do you know if a girl likes what you’ve proposed – or if she’s likely to reject or flake on it? By using retroactive discounts to tell… that’s how.

I’ve had guys asking me lately about tactics for generating buy-in with girls.

So here’s one: it’s called ‘retroactive discounting’. Not my term; it comes from the psychology literature. It’s a name for a tactic we’ve all heard before, and possibly used: you offer to do something, and then couch that by saying you’re not sure if she wants to do it / maybe she doesn’t want to do it.

Like so:

We could grab drinks this weekend. Maybe that’s not your thing though.

Retroactive discounting allows you to recover in real time from an overly pushy or forward suggestion (e.g., one you made before checking her interests or schedule). But more importantly, it wraps a second consideration into your request – one where even if the girl is not available she can still express interest in you and commit to wanting to see you again.

You will use this one most often when you are zipping along very fast with girls (at least that is when I’ve always made the most use of it) – in other words, where you are aiming to do as much as possible in as little time as you can.

10 Ways to Raise Male Libido/Testosterone + 4 Things to AVOID

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By: Chase Amante

raise your libido & testosteroneThese unconventional science- and experienced-based tips from a skilled seducer will take your libido to the stratosphere… assuming you follow them.

Last week I talked to someone who’d just tried testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). He’s actively dating and bedding new girls, but he wanted an extra edge to boost his sex drive up even higher.

The result of his TRT experiment was not good: while on the therapy he found himself beset with anxiety until he finally quit and went back to normal.

If you’re living in the West right now, you’ve likely been trained to believe something like “the solution to any problem is to pump more laboratory chemicals into your body!” Pills, supplements, hormones, fortified foods, inoculations, patches, vapes, you name it. The only thing I’m not seeing pushed much these days is suppositories (maybe they’ll make a comeback though). Just find the right elixir and eat/drink/inject it in, and voila! Miracle cure!

A few hundred years ago, alchemy was all the rage in Europe, with people busily concocting mixtures and potions hoping to solve all kinds of biological problems, often resulting in injury or even death of the imbiber of said concoctions. We laugh at that now, then we turn right around and load ourselves up with pharmaceuticals that every year more and more get revealed to have some sort of disastrous (or even mortal) effect upon the body… and often the promised result is marginal, fleeting, illusory, or none.

This article ignores all the witches’ brews, alchemical formulae, miracle jungle plants, multicolored sea slug compounds, and Big Pharma-produced Wonder Drugs™ to give you tips to raise your libido by as much as you want using nothing more than your lifestyle.

Because, as we’re about to discuss, the problem men are having with testosterone and libido is NOT a “chemical imbalance” problem that needs fixin’ with yet more chemicals and hormones… it is a LIFESTYLE problem.

Why Must Men Work So Hard for Women? Are Women Worth It?

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By: Chase Amante

are women worth itA reader wonders why men must “jump through so many hoops” to get women. Are women even worth it? Why can’t men just be themselves?

Commenting on my article “What Women Want”, a reader from Bengaluru, India remarked:

I read this with an open mind but was kind of let down by the final conclusion. "What do women want? They want a man who has become what they want. And need." It made me wonder if thats the highest goal in life for a man?? I've chased women and I've jumped through the hoops. But its never enough, what work do they put in to impress or woo us that we need to bend over backwards to woo them. Change my whole being just to be whoever or whatever the fuck she wants me to be just so that I can experience some sex and physical love?? To feel that I too am wanted loved and desired? That I am beautiful too?
Isn't my masculine essence enough for them?? Can I not just be who I am in my essence and attract from there?? why do I need to jump through so many hoops??

He might hail from India, but he may as well be from the West, because I’ve been getting comments like these from men in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and Western and Eastern Europe. I get them from other parts of the world as well, like Africa, the Middle East, Asia, and South America.

The remarks all condense down to sentiments such as:

  • “Women aren’t worth all this work.”
  • “Women aren’t worth the effort.”

Sometimes women are said to be not worth it “anymore”, implying they once were, but no longer are. Other times women are implied to have always not been worth the effort.

When I read old books (as I am wont to do), I come across the sentiment sometimes there, too – men, hundreds or thousands of years ago, writing that in effect “women aren’t worth it.”

A sentiment this broad, held by so many men, across the world, across time, beggars the mind as one wonders how humanity could have survived with so many men considering women so “unworthy of it.”

Why must men work so hard for women? Are women worth the work?