Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

5 Ways to Be a Smooth Dude

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

be smooth
If you want to be smooth with women and life, you won’t get there with snappy one-liners or good looks. True smoothness requires a much finer grit.

A while back, I wrote about how to be smooth with conversation. With this article, I want to expand the dialogue on smoothness and get your interactions slathering with smoothness on all sides.

Let's make your entire demeanor smooth.

It’s the way you talk (your voice tonality, rhythm, etc.), the way you gesture with your hands, the way you move your eyes and face when you speak (and when you listen), the way you walk, the way you shake hands, the way you touch a woman who is sitting with you at a bar.

That’s what we want to make smooth. And how do we make this smooth?

Well, smoothness in a sexy man can be expressed in many ways.

Smoothness is one facet of sexiness, and there are many levels to sexy. I always tell my students they need to find a way of expression that fits them.

Once you find your style, you must do three things:

  1. Master the fundamentals of your style; become the best version of your ideal man

  2. Master the conversation of your style; become the best conversationalist you can be

  3. Master your mind; see and know that you think like this man

The technicalities of smoothness are:

  • Fundamentals
  • Conversation
  • Mind (inner game)

In my experience, these are not enough to make a man truly smooth. The final two recommendations of mine are to:

  • Spend time with women you love
  • Have a mission

We will focus on these final two later. First, let’s look at the most crucial areas, the technicalities.

Never Count on a Woman to Change (& Never Think You'll Change Her)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

change a womanI talked to a friend recently and told him about a woman I'd dated with a short fuse.

She was in all other respects perfect.

Physically very beautiful. Very smart and highly educated.

Good career. A happy, positive, can-do person, with a charming personality.

More self-improvement-orientated than almost any woman I've met.

However, she had a very short fuse, and various things would set her off.

Once you set her off, she'd fly off into a (self-)righteous rage.

Her rage would last anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours, then she would calm back down. A little while later she'd be happy again.

This short fuse of hers was inherited. Her father had it. Her elder sister and younger sisters had it. Others in her family did not have it, but those four did. At a family gathering I attended with them, all four set each other off and flew into rages against one another.

The sisters often tried to avoid talking with each other and their parents, solely because of their tendencies to set each other off like that. Everything else about their relationships were fine, but the anger they all boiled over into did not well mix.

I did everything I could, within reason, over the time I dated this girl to cure her of this fuse.

I thought for a while that with proper operant conditioning, I'd break her of her temper.

I was wrong, and nothing I did was a permanent fix.

The friend I mentioned this to is an optimistic guy who is good at approaching new women, but has trouble bedding them and hanging onto them. His relationships never work out. He's one of the 'hard case' guys I know and have talked about before on Girls Chase. It's hard to put your finger on it with him, but there are many little things it often seems like he does not really 'get'.

When I talked about some of the details of this relationship with him, he told me "Well, it sounds like you set up a pattern early on where this type of behavior was acceptable."

He added that it "sounds like you were encouraging this" or "maybe you subtlely like this."

He then admitted he'd dated a few dramatic women before, but "I quickly showed them I wouldn't tolerate that and they stopped doing it."

It was a little pop armchair psychology that on the surface sounds really good. Somebody does something you don't like? Just make it clear it's unacceptable, and she'll stop for good! Don't be weak or invite it back in, and you'll never have to deal with it again!

But, as I told him, people are a lot richer and more complex than this... and you simply wanting a behavior to change, and putting a few behavior modification procedures in place to try to change it, does not ensure you'll get the change you want.

Especially not long-term.

Far from it.

Rather, while you should do what you can to get your woman to change any undesirable behavior she has, you should never count on a woman to change... and you should never think you'll change her.

What to Do In Field When Not Talking to Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

what to do when not talking to girls
When you go out to pick up women, you won’t always be talking to girls. These tips will help you avoid looking lame when you’re alone between sets.

When you head out to pick up women, you will realize that you usually spend a lot of time alone, not talking to women. It saddens me to say it, but it's true; talking to girls is more fun than being alone or talking to your buddy (at least when you're out trying to get laid).

There are times when you will not be interacting with women. Does that mean you are doing a bad job? Not necessarily. Some nights you will always be in a set because you will feel energized, on fire, and talkative. Other nights, not so much. Every night is different.

Today let’s look at an important but under-discussed subject: what to do when you are out but not in a set or talking to a girl.

Learning what to do when not talking to women is actually pretty important because it's easy to look lame hanging out in a club all by yourself.

This article is suited for night gamers of all skill levels.

If you like to go out solo, this article is especially for you. And if you go out with a wingman, you can still apply these concepts, even though you can always chill and chat with him without looking bad. Just make sure you and your wingman follow these rules:

  • Face the crowd to see potential approach invitations

  • Don’t appear completely sealed off. Don’t face each other 100%; make sure you also face the crowd and position yourself so you are open to meeting people

  • It must look like your bro is the coolest guy you are talking to ever (and vice versa) and that you are having a good time

With that said, let's get to it.

For You to Get Her, She Has to Think "I Want This"

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

make her want you
The goal of seduction is to make a girl think “I want this” with you. With a bit of knowledge and skill, you can choose what ‘this’ is and lead her toward it.

Women and men want to meet at least ONE person in their lives they're attracted to and find chemistry with, if not more. Of course, that extends beyond just one suitor and one lead.

Women are bombarded left, right, and center with requests from men in person, at bars, at their workplace, and increasingly online. Competition is fierce, and it’s common for women to have partner counts now in the double digits.

Despite having a dizzying array of choices, for sex to happen, it’s critical for a woman to get beyond just entertaining the idea of getting with a man and actually make the decision (consciously or subconsciously) to do so.

At the decision point, she's thinking: “I want THIS with this man.”

But “THIS” could mean any number of things, including:

  • A date
  • A one-night stand
  • A friend with benefits
  • A relationship
  • Some social value or a connection that could be meaningful

However, until she consciously chooses what "this" is, a guy can only try to lead her toward what he desires with her. We can’t force any girl to do anything against her will, but we CAN influence her to make choices that align with our goals, as long as she feels that those choices align with her goals. For example, if a guy wants a girl to be a friend with benefits, he does his best to frame himself as the kind of guy she'd want as a friend with benefits. He must show her that being with him in that capacity is something she consciously wants.

The key word here is “consciously.” If a girl wants you unconsciously, but she isn’t sure consciously, then have a look at our recent article series on Female State Control to see how this conflict can sabotage moving forward with a woman. If her unconscious and conscious minds are in sync with her desire, there’s nothing stopping both of you from getting together.

So, to separate yourself as the guy who gets her among the hundreds of guys chasing her without any luck, you must learn to make her feel that sense of “I want this” with you.

Don't Ask Girls for Permission; Seduce Them Instead

Frankie Bismarck's picture

By: Frankie Bismarck

don't ask girls for permissionThe guys who get what they want with women aren't asking for permission. And women don't want them to ask for it, either.

Hey guys, welcome back!

In this article we’re going to explore the question of whether or not guys should ask girls for permission regarding what they’re allowed to do.

We’ll start by touching on how girls view and treat sexy guys (i.e., you after lots of self-improvement).

Then we’ll do an exercise in future projection (if you’re not there already) where I will invite you to imagine how a man with a strong frame would deal with the most sexually attractive women... were he in the process of seducing them into his boudoir.

We’ll touch on the importance of setting sexual frames as soon as possible.

And finally we’ll talk about how you can pretty much do anything you want with a girl, sexually speaking, without needing to directly ask her for permission -- provided you read her correctly and present yourself congruently.

(that last bit is important. You must be able to read women appropriately

How to Change a Girl's Negative Perceptions of You

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

fix bad first impression
If a girl screens you out before getting to know you, don't take it personally. It's not that difficult to change a girl's perception of you and turn things around.

Have you ever felt like a woman has judged you from one look and came to a conclusion that puts you out of the running forever? Well, it is no illusion. Women do screen men out like this, and if you go in blindly, your chances of turning things around are not very high.

There is a reliable way to turn your image around with a girl, however. What I'll share in this post can help you confidently get back on track.

First, let's go through why girls get negative images of you so you don't take it personally or hold it against women. When I first started picking up girls, they screened me out, thinking that I was unmanly, weak-willed, naïve, boring, and lame. Of course, I felt shocked that I was labeled this way and thought these girls were wrong.

It's important that we understand the reason women often screen so harshly: they despise men who promise results LATER.

Anyone can promise they'll be worthwhile to a girl at some later point, after some rapport is built or whatever. If a woman gives in to this reasoning, your true character and intentions will remain hidden until the time you reveal them. She risks being played and getting emotionally hurt. No girl is so weak that she will let anybody hurt her just because he says he won't, and needs some help to get started. Women screen to see your agenda NOW. They want to know if you can DELIVER on command or not.

If you are unwilling to show your agenda or character in the now, it's because you are ashamed of it. If you are not able to deliver on command, you have no business making them.

So, from a woman's point of view, this is the most basic screening behavior. She assures herself that men GIVE her a benefit now and that they REVEAL how they feel about themselves and their actions. It lets her deal only with men she knows have something to offer.

Now, you can rage against the mating-game here and say it's unfair, but look at how trivial of a test this is. It does not determine much about you; it is actually very open (unless you failed to pass it). Her image of you can also be changed if you know how. So it is like raging at a parking meter. There are bigger issues to worry about — issues that are actually in your control.

A bit of understanding can go a long way. As with many things, the first step is to accept reality, then develop a game plan to adapt and conquer.

Here's my experience and advice for managing your image with girls in the long term.

17 Places to Go on a First Date That Make Dating Easy

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

where to go on a first date
Your best chance to make things happen is on the first date. So, where you go on a first date needs to be simple and provide opportunities for intimacy and sex.

If you’re wondering where to go on a first date, you’ll be happy to discover that you don’t have to go all nuts about it.

At Girls Chase, we are in the business of getting laid, and fast. But this strategy doesn’t diminish the prospects of getting a girlfriend if that’s what you want. The date ideas in this article suit whatever your goals are with a girl.

So, what do the dating pros do? Dinner and Netflix? Horseback riding in Hungary? Spearfishing in Playa Del Carmen?

First, let’s set the stage for a first date. Why are you going on a date in the first place? What’s your objective? Are you looking to get laid, or just get to know a girl and maybe make her your girlfriend?

Either way, you should always be aiming for sex as fast as possible. It is scientifically proven to be in both your interests to cement your relationship with a bang before she can talk herself out of it. I can count on one hand how many women were upset that I aimed for sex too quickly. But I lament over the scads of women I lost because I went too slowly.

If she rejects your sexual escalation, at least she respects you for trying. You’re not another friend zone guy; you’re a sexual threat (a good kind of threat). She knows that if she spends time with you, sex will happen. Unless you want to be her buddy or texting pal, it’s important she understands this.

Of course, not all women are going to sleep with you on the first date. But plenty will.

When I say you should escalate to sex on the first date, I don’t mean you should be needy, beg, or whine. It could be as simple as asking her to “come inside” for whatever reason, to look at pictures, or have a drink. Or asking to see her apartment “quickly.”

I once banged a girl I’d met 15 minutes earlier by asking to see her paintings. She was an artist, so of course she wanted to show off her work. There’s always a reason to come inside her or your place (other than needing a toilet). Women understand that to be alone with a man in a flat means sex is more than likely. So let that be your first date mission.

After that, you can take things wherever you want, from making her a one-night stand or a friend with benefits to making her your girlfriend or wife.

Bottom line: all those outcomes start with sex, and these date ideas maximize your odds for getting the girl to be whatever you're looking for.

Everyone Dates Whoever He Needs to Date

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

you date who you need to date
Every problem, bit of drama, suffering, torment, or heartache in a relationship is necessary... because people date the people they need to date.

I have a pretty good track record predicting how relationships will turn out.

I can tell, fairly reliably (though I'm sometimes wrong... but not a lot) how a partnership will go after a short time around a couple.

It used to aggravate me, some years ago, how when I'd identify an obviously troubled partnership, no one would listen to me and end the thing before it grew worse.

Time and again, dire warnings to friends of how their relationships would turn out came true.

And still, no one listened.

Yet, these days, people disregarding my advice doesn't aggravate me anymore.

If I see someone headed into an obviously troubled relationship, I will warn him off it.

However, if he chooses to pursue it, it no longer bothers me. I'm not a busybody... what someone is doing with his own life isn't my business, unless he wants my input. I usually won't stay as close with a guy going into a troubled relationship against my advice, because of how troubled relationships tend to affect people (i.e., they turn most folks into needy, emotional messes who bog down everyone around them... and it's not my calling in life to be a shoulder to cry on, nor is it a role anyone would want me in anyway. Really, you are better off not having Chase in that role).

Over time, my understanding of why people date the people they do (as well as do the other things they do) has changed.

I stopped viewing people's choices in mates -- even choices that hurt them, and lead them to suffer -- as 'right' or 'wrong' for them.

Instead, now I look at a partnership and say, "What about this partnership makes it what this person engaging in it needs?"

Because that is the real kicker: people only have the relationships they need to have.

The more you learn to look at relationships as people with exactly the people they needed to be with right then, the more even the very troubled relationships you see start to make a lot more sense.

How to Deal with Freeze-Ups when Trying New Venues, Part 2

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

social freeze ups
Social freeze-ups can happen anywhere, even venues you’re familiar with. So here are more ways to set things in motion and turn a sour mood into a sexy vibe.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last time we discussed overall strategies to prevent and handle potential freeze-ups when frequenting new venues. Today we will delve deeper into this topic. Let’s focus on practical tools that can help you counteract potential anxiety in the field.

Last time we focused primarily on dealing with new venues, since these are usually a source of potential nervousness. You do not feel fully at home in new environments, and they can be a bit scary.

I’ve mentioned that freeze-ups can also happen in familiar venues where you do feel at home, too.

Even though you’ve been to a place many times and have had great nights and much success there, there can be nights where you still struggle and have a hard time interacting with others. So here are some more general solutions that will also help in familiar places.