Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

A Feminine Man, Done Right, Can be Wildly Sexy to Women

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

feminine man
Masculinity is good. But a feminine man who is still sexual and dominant offers something uniquely special women just go nuts for.

We focus heavily on becoming masculine here at Girls Chase, because it’s a problem that plagues most men reading this.

You’re probably too feminine.

To define this, allow me to define some feminine behaviors:

  • Meek body language: avoiding people’s personal bubbles – if something makes you feel small, it’s feminine body language (e.g., standing with legs close together)

  • Words that temper the assertiveness of your assertions (e.g., “It’s just this” or “I was only saying that…”)

  • Flamboyant gestures (e.g., rolling your eyes)

  • Extravagant clothing (e.g., peacocking)

On that last point, though, strangely, it’s the males of almost every species on earth that “peacock” and display the most colorful coats, feathers, or behaviors to attract women. My argument would be that males are demonstrating their feminine energy to more closely link with women.

This principle, that the feminine attracts the feminine, is the heart of this article.

For a lot of men, though not all, their problem isn’t attracting women. What I’ve noticed, upon reflection, is that I’ve never really had trouble attracting women, even absolute stunners.

What the journey in game, then, seems to be about is:

  1. Increasing the frequency and degree of attraction I receive from stunning women (i.e., fundamentals)

  2. Learning how to take that attraction and lead it to bed (i.e., game)

Women are, I’d guess, far more attracted to you than you think. I know this because I will go out with guys who are in every sense beginners and immediately spot women who are attracted to them. I tell them to approach, and it goes amazingly well.

The reason they don’t close is because of their game.

Therefore, when I say, for anyone intermediate or below, you’re probably too feminine, I’m saying that you probably attract women you yourself are genuinely attracted to (distinct from doggish horniness), but you lack the male aggression to close the deal. For those who already have that masculine spirit nailed down, we can actually take a journey back into the feminine energy and amplify it to amplify attraction (and also induce chasing).

Feminine behaviors will mostly help with:

  1. Tempering your attainability

  2. Calming your over-aggression

  3. Encouraging women to chase

But before we begin, one note.

Hot/Crazy Girls are Easier than Hot/Sane Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

crazy girls are easy
Why do guys so often end up with hot-but-crazy girls as their breakthrough girlfriends? Due to the hot/crazy discount.

Over my years in the dating niche, I’ve become aware of an interesting trend. Inexperienced men, time and again, after slaving away to do better with girls, end up with gorgeous-yet-crazy women. And often get quite attached to them, until they have a dramatic breakup at some point.

I’ve seen it happen again and again. It happened to me as well. Much of the time, it seems to be unavoidable: the less experienced guy finally ends up with this girl who is just so hot... but also, well, a little nuts.

Sure, there are experienced men who date crazy girls too. Some guys have certain issues that lead them to end up with crazy chicks time and again. Or sometimes you meet a ‘stealth crazy’ who was extra good at hiding the bats in her belfry (though you’ll still catch her fast if you know what to look for). But by and large, the “I’m dating this girl and she is so hot... but she’s also crazy” phenomenon is one you see primarily among a.) less experienced daters, and, to a somewhat lesser extent, b.) intermediate daters.

But here’s the interesting part of the pattern: the hot/crazy girlfriend is often a breakthrough girlfriend for a guy... she’s the first girl in her looks class a guy has managed to bed, let alone get into a relationship. After a guy breaks up with a hot/crazy girlfriend, he’ll typically go on to date similarly attractive women to his ex, except that these next girlfriends are sane (or saner, in any event).

Why should this be so? Why are hot/crazy girls so often the gateway drug to the hot girl castle?

Because hot/crazy girls are easier to have sex with and date than hot/sane girls.

Social Proof in Nightclubs: Jumps, Momentum, and Girl Circles

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

social proof
Social proof is an exceptional tool to use in nightclubs, but it can be tricky. With jumps, momentum, and girl circles, you’ll woo women in no time.

After discussing some recent changes in night game over the last couple weeks (how nightlife has changed: part 1, part 2), I have decided to make another night game post. I am trying to inject some variation in my posts, providing a mix of analysis and techniques. I’ve posted a few cool routines and gambits lately, and today I will discuss more general strategies.

(And guys, do not hesitate to give me feedback and let me know what types of posts you prefer to read)

The idea of this post is to break down the idea that there is such a thing as night game. Well, yes, there is such a thing; it is all about meeting women at night, sure, but there are many VERY different night game methods and strategies you can employ to reach your goals.

Now, besides the obvious aspects, we need to consider the demographics of clubs, as in:

  • Ratio: how many men vs. women there are in the club – a larger ratio of men requires a more passive and safe approach, as more men will be hitting on the girls, which results in those girls turning up their defenses)

  • The type of people frequenting the club (the stereotype) – subcultures have different codes to which you must calibrate (think of an indie club vs. a hip hop club)

But the layout of different venues – how they’re built – allows for totally different strategies. Additionally, you can also pick up girls outside the clubs! Our dear Chase Amante has long been a fan of that!

There are many ways to approach night game, and some venues allow for certain strategies that others don’t. Some allow for multiple strategies.

Let us discuss one of the many ways you can approach the nightlife besides the typical “run in cold” and hook. Basically, that’s what I usually do; I go into a club, see a girl, try to trigger an approach invitation, and go straight for it, delivering my best game in order to hopefully get laid. Here I present a different way of doing it.

Are Women Chronic Liars?

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

women chronic liars
Women and lying go together like ice cream and sprinkles. But do women chronically lie? Can they not tell the truth – or do they do so strategically?

“I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” – Doesn’t come back.

“I’ll let you know when I’m free.” – Never texts you.

“I will love you forever.” – Dumps you a week later.

“I hate liars.” – Lies.

When a man faces these blatant contradictions hundreds, if not thousands, of times in his life, he will inevitably ask himself a question.

“Are all women liars?”

You would really hate if I gave a response of “Yes and no,” wouldn’t you?

Don’t worry. I won’t. Here’s the bottom line.

Yes, women lie. A lot. The majority of the time. Except only when viewed from a male perspective of truth.

See what I did there? I lied. I said I wouldn’t give you a “yes and no” answer, and I did. But it had value to it. I used it as a literary technique. I think it’s funny (maybe you don’t). But there was a purpose behind it.

Same with women. They lie with a purpose. They also lie by omission. These are their two fundamental modes of truth manipulation.

First, however, let’s go into how women view truth itself.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Use a Time Bridge to Get Numbers & Dates

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

time bridge
Want a fun way to ask girls out? Try the time bridge. The time bridge lets you take anything a girl likes, and turn it into a date.

In old pickup community parlance, a ‘time bridge’ was any excuse you used to seed a future meet-up. For example, if you discover a girl likes arcades, your time bridge could be, “Okay, you and I need to get together and play Skee-Ball and air hockey. Let me get your contact details.”

A good time bridge allows you to seed a fun meet-up a girl is inclined to agree with because it matches what she’s told you she’s interested in. It works fine for girls who like you, of course (they’ll be inclined to say yes to anything reasonable you propose), but it works even better for girls who are on the fence. If she isn’t so sure she’d like to meet you for you, she may still be open to a meet-up with you plus some activity she likes.

There is an art to time bridging. Part of the art is that there are many things a girl might tell you you could use for a time bridge... yet not every item she gives you will equally well. Another part of the art is your enthusiasm during the ask plays a big part of how readily she gives you her contact info – but not necessarily how readily she actually comes on the date.

We’ll talk about both nuances, and a bit more advanced time bridge tech, below.

7 Reasons Why Your Approaches on Girls Don't Hook

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

approaches don't hook
If you approach girls but they rarely or never hook, what’s the cause? There are 7 technical reasons why women may not hook.

Whether by day or at night, sometimes you’ll approach a girl yet it just doesn’t hook. Sure, there are the girls who aren’t into you. But what about the ones who open well, and feel like it should work... yet for whatever reason you cannot make things connect?

My usual suggestion for men who have trouble getting their approaches to hook it to improve your fundamentals... things like walk, posture, fashion, eye contact, and voice. The stronger each of these are, the faster and more reliably women hook.

Nevertheless, even men with strong fundamentals can run into this “girls I approach just don’t hook” phenomenon. They approach plenty of girls. But those approaches go nowhere.

So if you feel like your approaches connect a lot less than they should, this troubleshooting article’s for you: things to tweak to make those conversations hook a whole lot better.

Below, you’ll find seven (7) technical reasons why men’s approaches often don’t work.

If you’re doing any of these wrong, you’ll want to switch it up. Fix all the issues, and you can expect a noticeable boost in the number of women you hook.

Here’s the list.

How Nightlife Has Changed, Part 2: Good and Bad Changes

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

nightlife has changed
The nightlife scene has changed. But it hasn’t necessarily gotten harder to sleep with women at night… It’s only gotten different.

Last week, I shared a post about how the nightlife has changed in most of the Western world (can’t say too much about the world outside of that, as I have not visited it lately). I explained how girls are dropping the club as a hook-up spot for quick sexual satisfaction, and heading for Tinder, an app that allows them to do their business in more or less total secrecy.

For finding quick and available dick, girls have found an alternative to going out – so when you see girls out these days, it’s probably not because they’re hunting dick. Those were the freebies back in the day – girls you would spot (if she didn’t spot you first) who seemed to be available for quick, NSA penetration. They’d sometimes even open you and touch you in provocative ways, or seem very sexually available from get-go. Those were the freebies, and now they are gone from the clubs, only to be found on Tinder.

The nightlife has therefore changed – typical meat market places have died off (they have become sausage fests), and all the girls there have turned into purely status hunters, going out only to have fun, meet “cool” people, and get male attention to validate themselves. Now, this is not necessarily a bad thing, as pointed out, because this means all the girls are more or less stuck at the same places, and the girls in those places are hot. Only these days do I seem to find venues packed with only hot women – those did not truly exist back in the day (except super high-end, invite-only clubs).

But apart from this small positive aspect, my previous post seemed a bit negative, and things were presented as rather pessimistic. Are things really so hopeless these days? Is there any hope for aspiring night-gamers? I would say so.

However, before I get to my reasoning, I think that men these days have a tendency to cry and make excuses and blame external factors for their lack of success instead of trying to figure out how to solve their problems. The nightlife has changed, but in my humble opinion, it hasn’t become that much harder, overall – it has just changed. Some elements have become harder; others have become… easier… way easier. Don’t blame the changes for your lack of success; focus on how to change things up to match the changing environment.

Who Controls Your Woman, the Environment or You?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

control your woman
Everything in a woman’s life wields some degree of control over her. The big question is, do you control your woman – or yield control to others?

College tells her feminism
Is what she must embrace.
Her boss says that it is “career”
What wins in the workplace.
Nightlife tells her status
While friends tell her “fun” too.
So who controls your woman
The environment, or you?

At some point, you will find yourself with a girl you like, and decide you want to hang onto her a while. You may not want to keep her forever. You might want a short relationship. Or perhaps you do want her forever.

The man sets the pace and trajectory of the relationship. The woman agrees with his direction and submits to it, or she will disagrees and rebels. If she rebels, she does so to force change to the pace and trajectory of the relationship, not to destroy the relationship or take control herself.

You won’t have women tell you, “We’re doing it my way now.” Well, not usually. Instead, she acts up, pressures you, whines, pouts, complains, and does everything she can to get you to change. She does not want to lead. She wants to influence the leader. Influencing, rather than directly leading, is how women control.

We talk about control in this article. Not control in the sense of unwilling control. Nothing here we’ll discuss will be anything against anyone’s will. The kind of control we will discuss here is leadership, influence, attraction, seduction, security, comfort, and power. It is about who wields the greater control over the mind of an individual. Will it be you, her partner? Or will it be the many other forces in the environment that wish her to do as they will – and not as you do?

"I Hate You" and Other Fiesty Behaviors

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

I hate you
When a woman tells you she hates you, it’s not a bad sign. And when you trigger behavior like this, you know you’re doing something right.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you so much.”

I first began to hear this frequently when I started to play around with non-monogamy back in the beginning of 2015. I had just ended my last (to date) monogamous relationship and entered into a FWB arrangement with a total nymphomaniac. Details aside, she loved my cock and was totally devoted to me for the next six months. However, once in a while, we’d be hanging out and she’d stare me down with dark eyes and a frowning face, and say “I hate you” to me. Multiple times. At the time, I was speechless, and my typical response was just “...okay,” and then we’d get back to what we were doing.

Fast forward to 2017 – I’ve been running non-monogamous relationships for two and a half years. Having acquired a ton of knowledge since then, I’m actually a bit surprised when I don’t hear this. Instead, I hear this or some form of it – either verbally or non verbally – with every single girl I’m seeing.

  • “I hate you,” said directly to my face, multiple times

  • Passive-aggressive style non-verbal behaviors – like a girl inviting me over to hang out but then giving me a silent treatment of sorts, being intentionally distant while I’m with her; this includes refusing to kiss or have sex (at first) but still hanging out

  • Neediness from women about wanting to know exactly where she stands, expressed directly or indirectly – a girl will openly seek information (through indirect frames) about how I feel about her and whether or not I’m seeing other girls (and how I feel about them)

  • A girl suddenly changing her behavior to be extra nice, sweet, and affectionate toward me – this includes randomly volunteering massages or taking me out to dinner to a swanky place on her tab

Quite frequently, these behaviors continue long after a girl introduces these behaviors – especially well after we’ve had the relationship talk and I have told her that I will not commit to an exclusive relationship.

In fact, one girlfriend tells me “I hate you” literally every thirty minutes, if not more often, every time I see her, and she also texts me this on Snapchat from time to time. Her voice is always stern, her face frowning, and she’s very in my face about it.

“I hate you so much.”

Tactics Tuesdays: When It's Okay to Flip-Flop Around Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

okay to flip-flop
Maybe you think you should never flip-flop. But flip-flopping has a time and place. Here’s how to use it well with women and on dates.

One of the major conversation topics we discuss on Girls Chase is frame control. If you’re unfamiliar with frame control, I have a trio of articles here that will serve as a decent introduction:

The essence of frame control is that you know what you stand for and you stick to your guns. If we can say this of a man, we can say he has a strong frame. Strong frames are attractive; they suck other people in and cause them to see the world as the frame-holder sees it.

Frame control is particularly important in dating. Women will test you and challenge you as they seek to find out what kind of man you really are. A great frame allows you to sidestep these tests, ace them, and beat them.

However, sometimes you may need to change your position. You may be better served by doing something else or adopting another stance that contradicts what you said or did earlier. Flexibility is vital to your dating success. If you’re too rigid about “I have to always be 100% consistent with what I said or did before”, you will pass up a lot of potential success with girls.

Today’s article takes a look at when it’s okay to contradict yourself or flip-flop with women – and how to deal with the tests that sometimes follow.