Sex

When you've bedded a new girl, everything's great. You're on the 'new relationship high'... you and this new paramour are into each other, entranced, and enjoying every minute.

Something that likely does not pop up a whole lot in your mind is "What sex should I have with this new gal?" You might occasionally have sex ideas bubble up in your head you then walk back, because "I don't know if she'd go for that." But if you're like most guys, most of the time you'll think about new relationship sex in one or both of these ways:

• "There are a few things I like. Let's see if she'll do them."

• "I'm pretty happy with what I'm getting with her. I'm going to keep doing that."

Whether you're a BDSM guy or you just like regular sex with a side of blow jobs (or not even that... maybe just straight up missionary with a little doggy style thrown in for variety here and there), you'll settle into whatever you settle into. Within 3-4 weeks with her your sexual pattern will be pretty established.

Except... the new relationship is an ideal time to push the boundaries on what you can do with a woman sexually. It's an ideal time to see what she's willing to do with you, and to try out new things with a woman you've wanted to try but haven't yet.

It's hard to get too experimental with a one-night stand. And once a relationship is established, most women put the brakes on experimentation too.

But early on into a new relationship? You're in both laboratory and pleasure dome, rolled into one.

It’s good when a man knows how to unleash female sexuality.

It’s good for her, for obvious reasons. And it’s good for you because you teach her how to be used for your pleasure (and that is, incidentally, the best way to give a woman pleasure in bed).

And even if you two don’t see each other again, you will have changed her life for the better, giving her a whole new confidence in her sexuality and freedom from self-judgment.

So here’s to liberating her orgasmic female sexuality.

Women test men to ensure they aren’t with a loser or impostor. The final shit test before sex can be a real doozy, so make sure you’re not caught off guard.

I approached her on the street in the rain. She was a sexy young Asian girl who walked past quickly. I turned and caught up to her and opened. She smiled but said she was in a rush. I quickly asked if she was single; we had a quick one minute exchange, and I grabbed her number.

We texted in a flirty way, and she was pretty invested in the texting. I set up a date for the following week on a Tuesday (one of my standard dates). We went to an art gallery then walked over to have drinks. However, the vibe on this date felt different from most others. It was fast, and she was touching me often. At times, I got the sense that she was getting impatient when she started looking at her watch repeatedly. At this point, I hadn’t even gone through my sex talk stack yet; once I began to bring it up, she told me that most of her friends were gay men and she was super nonjudgmental.

Well, okay, neat.

She looked at her watch a third time and was quiet.

We had only met for an hour and change, but I figured what the hell; let’s try pulling anyway, and I went for it.

I just invited her home. “So I think I want to show you my art, and I have this really awesome beer you’ll love that I brought from Canada. We can sit on my rooftop and have drinks. Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you inviting me over to have sex with you?” She replied.

With a deadpan face, I said, “Yes.” And smiled.

Without stopping, she said “Okay” and started getting up to leave.

The moment we walked into my apartment building, I kissed her. It was on before we even got into my place.

I passed her shit test, and we screwed all night.

Do women like being dominated in bed? The answer is obvious, isn’t it?

Of course there will be many protests to the opposite, but usually these are protests of TIMING or CONTEXT.

“I don’t like it rough... all the time.”

Right, but 9/10 times? 8/10 times? What we talking here?

My stance on this has gotten a little softer over the years. I used to be the “If you don’t split her open every time, you’re a bitch,” but then I've also encountered some situations where I’d go too hard and it’d make girls feel like a fleshlight... which they love, but maybe just not YET.

Some girls need to be warmed up to the really crazy, dominant sex.

But once they’re comfortable and trust you... the doors EXPLODE.

Watch the video and see why.

Cunnilingus, gentlemen. Eating pussy. It's a beautiful skill indeed.

And a beautiful dish it is.

But can you eat that cat the way it was meant to be eaten?

This is the answer. This is the way.

I KNOW DE WAY...

Before having sex, a woman needs to feel she’s not putting her ego at risk. Here’s what you need to know to manage her self-esteem before and after the act.

Welcome back to the female self-esteem series! I hope these articles have shown you how important it is to keep women’s self-esteem high, as well as your own.

Nobody wants to screw or be involved with someone with low self-esteem; except for some abusive relationships which can be addictive in their own right. Most women want to be with men who make them feel good about themselves, and all women want to feel sexually validated and have more ravishing sex than all their friends.

In Part 1, we shared stories about how two different girls auto-rejected during the escalation process because they felt low self-esteem.

In Part 2, I shared how self-esteem matters when you’re on a date with a girl, and described ways to amp up her self-esteem to close the deal.

In Part 3, we covered self-esteem issues in the bedroom and how they affect women’s feelings for you.

Now, in the final installment, let’s talk about calibrating self-esteem to keep it high, and what to do if you mess up and lower her self-esteem.

Over the years I've seen friends go through relationships where after a while their woman stops having sex with them. When it happens, the guy is shaken; his self-esteem slides hard. When a man needs something, and is denied it by the woman he thought was there to be his partner for that thing and many others, his view of himself can crater.

I've never had to deal with a sexless relationship for long. A few times in the rockiest parts of soured relationships, I've had female partners do their darnedest to avoid sex with me. I reached a point with one ex like this where it would take me an hour or more of me doing everything I could to break through with her every time before I'd finally get some bone-dry vagina. I've had partners sour enough with me they'd completely dried up for me for sex (like that one), or sometimes firmly denied me for stretches of time.

But in the end, they always ended up pursuing me for sex and initiating on their own again.

I've had some longer relationships... some past the point where other friends' relationships have seen the sex dry completely up. I've had girlfriends whose libidos have waxed and waned. But me getting enough sex with them, except for short tumultuous stretches before I fix whatever the issue is, has never long been a problem.

This is a thing most people dread, the sexless relationship / sexless marriage. It's something when people fall into it, they become lost, confused, lonely, and hurt.

They don't know how to remedy it... and can't find a way out.

Yet, the most reliable cure for sexlessness is a simple one.

It's a position you can adopt that will motivate any partner who wants to keep you to be a whole heck of a lot more flexible with her sex life with you.

That position is this:

I completely understand if you don't want sex. But I NEED sex, and I'm going to HAVE it. If you can't provide it to me, I'll be sad, but again, I understand.

You will find out very quickly at this point whether she wants you enough to change the sex life... or whether things are so far gone it's time for you to hit the eject button.