Seduction

First time sex that’s too rough or makes a girl feels slutty often backfires. The secret to passionate sex is to escalate to it over a series of encounters with her.

The first time you have sex with girls, you do not want it to be overly rough. Nor do you want to do anything to trigger feelings in a woman that you think she's a slut.

Yet I have noticed over the years that some guys are fairly (or even quite) rough during the first sexual encounter with a girl. They may do other things that imply to her they think she's a slut (such as using dirty talk where they might even tell her she's a slut. On the first night!).

Some possible reasons men do this with women include:

1. They've watched a lot of porn and have conflated 'rough' and 'wild' with 'showing her a good time'

2. They're just really physical, manly guys and think just being rough with a woman the first time is normal

3. They may have had a girlfriend or FWB who liked it rough and gotten into the habit of being really rough during sex, and that's carried over into their hookups with new girls

4. There's also the less-charitable interpretation is that they may not really care about the girl at all and are just using her to pump and dump (who cares if she has a good time or not!)

Regardless the reason for their roughness the first time they have sex with a girl, the fact is you should not be too rough the first time you bed her.

There are a variety of reasons for this. Some of them are quite important.

So, I hope you will read on -- and have better first encounters + avoid a lot of potential heartache for yourself and women.

When you’re out picking up girls, the question is: do you take her home now, or take her number to meet up with her later? It depends – on several things.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I’ll cover a rarely discussed subject: when to go for numbers or try to seal the deal right there and then. Next week, I will discuss whether you should try to have sex with her that night or try to see her another time. Maybe she is at your place, and you could try to have sex with her, but some resistance is in the air. So when should you “give up” and go for another date?

The goal is to decrease potential pitfalls and increase your chances of sealing the deal, improving your consistency.

I am not going to lie. Whether you should go for it that night and when you should play it more calmly and opt for a day two can be hard to tell as a beginner or even as an intermediate.

I hope this post will help you with these assessments.

Women may resist a man’s romantic advances due to three (3) different causes: low compliance, FSD, or ASC. Identify which your problem is to get things moving again.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Previously I discussed how to persist and calibrate your persistence. You’ve learned how to use the different forms of persistence and when to use them. Today I’ll discuss how you can deal with resistance through persistence by persisting the right way.

You will typically have to persist when dealing with resistance. Persisting is a form of resistance, broken down into:

• Lack of compliance – (or attraction, not to be confused with rejection). See this post for details. It goes over how to tell whether you are dealing with a form of resistance or an outright rejection.

• Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) – her resistance against your sexual move. It’s grounded in her fear of feeling or being perceived by others (you included) as a slut. See this post for more information.

• Female State Control (FSC) – her defense mechanism against getting emotional (aroused) without feeling that this is a good choice for her. See this post.

Ideally, the key is to persist by increasing her compliance toward you. If you are using the passive and the passive-active form of persistence, which involve compliance building tools such as breaking rapport/disqualification and social proof and jealousy plots that deal with the cause of her resistance, you will skyrocket her level of full-blown compliance, making your persisted attempts more likely to work.

But how does one deal with the causes of resistance presented last time? This is what we’ll discuss and clarify here.

I am not going to share anything new or groundbreaking. I am saying this now for transparency.

This post is a recap of previous posts and builds a bridge between different concepts to give you a clear idea of how everything fits together. It’s crucial for full understanding and is often overlooked. Many guys ask me to write posts adding different concepts in context to provide information about how they all fit into the bigger scheme. This is one of those posts.

Today’s post is for players of all levels, although the level of details may make it more suitable for intermediate and advanced players.

So first, a recap.

There are three (3) ways a man can persist with a woman: actively, passively, and with a mix of both flavors of persistence. He must calibrate his persistence for it to work, though.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I have discussed calibration a lot lately. I wrote a series on basic calibration, covering these areas:

• Calibrating to her response

• Calibrating to the environment

• Hitting the right timings

• Calibrating other things to her

I followed up recently with advanced posts on calibration, addressing:

• Information gathering

• Managing arousal spikes (three posts)

Today I will add another layer to calibration: how you should persist with women.

Just how much should you push, and do you deal with her resistance? You can blindly press on until she says yes, without attempting to solve the root cause.

Sometimes things between you and a girl go smoothly on the first attempt.

Other times you will face some resistance (honestly, this happens more frequently when you are a beginner).

What causes resistance?

• Lack of comfort or a social frame – she doesn’t feel it is right socially to hook up with you.

• She fears feeling like a slut for being sexual around you or is afraid of being judged by others.

• Lack of compliance (“attraction”) which you can increase by using many of the powerful tools we teach here).

Often, you can increase your chances by solving the issue at hand. If she feels a lack of comfort, set a strong social frame (show more rapport, make her invest in you, display higher social value, befriend her friends).

Next week, I will write a post about what tools to use to handle different types of resistance. I’ll focus on calibrating by using the right tools for each form of resistance.

But first, we need to discern the different forms of persistence. That is, different strategies of persistence. I’ll discuss the benefits of each and indicate when to use them.

This post is suited for seducers of all levels.

Women need a reason for sex; men just need a place. So goes the saying… but why is this the case? Much of it has to do with the way women experience sexual arousal.

Comedians are often sources of soundbites of wisdom, wrapped up in humorous packaging.

I suppose it harkens back to the old saying that, "Many a truth is said in jest," eh?

Comedian Billy Crystal once made the following observation:

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

It's a funny little quote, that both makes an amusing "women are overly complicated / men are overly simplistic" jab at sexual dynamics yet also highlights an important truth.

The truth it highlights is that, indeed, women do not choose their sex partners or sexual situations the way men do. Women always need 'a reason' for physical intimacy to occur.

Night game doesn’t always get a lot of love. But it has a lot of love to give. Here are 5 big benefits of night gaming… plus how night game differs from meeting girls by day.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Considering night game is not getting much love lately, I am dedicating two posts to it to give it the love it merits. I want to convince those who aren’t into it to give it a chance. Trust me; you are missing out—just AS MUCH as those night gamers who’ve never tried day game.

What is amazing about the field of seduction and pickup is that you have a vast library of knowledge, theories, techniques, and different playing grounds with different dynamics. Various “weapons” (seduction tools) work differently in certain scenarios, while new maps will give you a unique experience. This may confuse many, but the truth is, they are just different tools—similar to a video game where you can choose the weapons that fit you best!

This makes it all exciting and fun. I had a night game student who struggled and was getting demotivated. I told him, “Hey, why don’t you try day game for a bit?” He was hesitant but eventually went for it. The change of scenery and dynamics gave him more results and made him excited again—soon, he became a better night gamer.

I see no reason why this shouldn’t work the other way around. The true seducer is the guy who masters the trifecta: social circles, day game, and night game. An advanced guy will specialize in one field (or multiple). You are wrong if you think Hector Castillo, our social circle (and day game) expert, has never done night game and pulled from it. You are equally wrong if you think that Dan, our major day game expert, has never practiced night game.

Be open-minded. Try out things and give them a chance. Stubbornness never helped anyone in this field.

Here are more reasons why night game is amazing.

When she can’t figure you out, she’s intrigued. When you seem like you might be the man she wants, even more intrigued. Once she’s intrigued, she’ll chase.

If you've used my ball-in-your-court text properly (i.e., the way I tell you to use it), you may have been surprised how often it leads to complete reversals in how women behave toward you.

When used right, the text has something like a 50% return rate for girls... half the girls you use it with, despite them having been flakey or even ghosted you before, pop back on your radar weeks or a month or two later to tell you they're now available to go out.

Why does it work though? How does ONE text change her opinion of you from "I'm not that interested" to "You know what, I think I'd like to see him"?

Or how about the way preselection works, where a girl rejects you, totally disinterested, only for her to see you with another girl all over you a few weeks later, and suddenly Girl #1 is back flipping her hair, parading around in front of you, preening to get your attention. Why does she now care about you, when a few weeks earlier she didn't?

We know preselection has a massive positive effect on female attraction, of course. But why?

There are several factors at play for why these and other techniques work.

However, one of the factors, something that most men do not well understand, is women's need to feel like they have a firm handle on the social status of everyone around them, and how nuts with intrigue it drives them when they suddenly receive a signal that they've read you wrong, and your status and desirability might be higher than they thought.