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Seduction

Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

Pickup Problems Faced by Intermediate Seducers

Alek Rolstad's picture
pickup problemsIntermediate-level playboys have problems too. Their problems picking up women are different from beginners. They get some success now… but now come the plateaus, inconsistency, and ego.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Today I want to address a rarely discussed subject: issues intermediate and advanced players face with their learning curves. We often talk about difficulties beginners face, such as approach and escalation anxiety, lack of motivation and confidence, and even becoming depressed.

I know coaches who specialize in helping beginners. They spend time motivating them and playing the role of a therapist so beginners deal with whatever issue they may face while teaching them the basic skillset.

Many products are also geared toward beginners. They give a basic understanding of social dynamics and teach them the fundamentals of pickup and seduction.

Fewer products or coaching programs are dedicated to intermediate practitioners and even fewer to advanced guys. I will get to why that is.

I am careful about calling a top-tier advanced guy a student since they might hire me as a consultant to get an external perspective or learn about something I specialize in to master a new area.

Take a moment to jot down some challenges these two groups of students face. Then I will share a few words on dealing with these issues.

Women Select Mates Very Differently from How Men Do

Chase Amante's picture
female mate selectionWomen are different from men. They aren’t attracted to the same things men are, and they choose their mates differently than men do.

I spoke with a friend recently about how important preselection is to women's mate choices.

I shared some of the research on it (most of which I've shared in other articles or in One Date) that shows men get a +25% attractiveness boost when women see them with a good-looking girl who is visibly attracted to them... this is a bigger boost in attractiveness than height, good looks, confidence, humor, or anything else women like in men. Having attractive women attracted to you is the single biggest attraction factor there is for men.

My friend noted how he knew this, and in fact it was a big part of his game back in the day, letting women see lots of other good-looking women being very into him. It made hooking up a breeze.

However, he still found it a bit mind-boggling. He's not interested in women with lots of men around at all... it's a bit counterintuitive to a man that women like men who get women.

Recently he tried an experiment, just for the heck of it. He had a couple of average girls who were very into him, yet who he himself was not really attracted to. Just to test it, he told them a few stories about women not wanting him. The result was a complete 180 in their attraction; they lost all interest in him and stopped bothering him.

Imagine a hot girl telling you, "Guys just don't want me." You'd be all over her!

Why's it so totally different with the sex roles reversed?

Why Do Guys Screw Up When the Girl Is Really Hot?

Chase Amante's picture
hot girl screwupsHow come when a girl is really hot, you mess up more, even if you don’t with more average girls? There’s a reason for it – and it happens to almost every guy, too.

I recently received an email from a long-time acquaintance who'd left England to begin traveling through Central and South America and get back to picking up girls again while also working as a yoga instructor.

He'd continued sleeping with average girls from dating apps over the lockdowns, then once his trip started, he bedded a few more average girls from hostels. Assuming all was good with his game, and he must be rust-free, he then proceeded to meet an extremely beautiful Argentinian girl... and it all fell apart.

He says:

I met physically my perfect girl who was working on the tour desks. She’s Argentinian and I’m really into Latin girls.  I suggested she joined me for dinner and it went really well. I deep dived alot and after dinner moved her to a quiet sofa outside by the pool.  She was a little bit tipsy by now from all the Argentinian wine at dinner, and was sitting super close to me.  She also told me what an amazing evening she’d had and hugged me twice for a long time.  It was the obvious escalation window, only I didn’t do anything!

My reasoning was that I’m new here and don’t want to seem like I was taking advantage of her when she was drunk.  I figured I had loads of other opportunities.  It was also late and I had to teach yoga in the morning. So we hugged and went our separate ways. 

That was a big mistake!  She text me the next morning saying how good a night she had. Now all I was thinking about is ‘this is going to be the hottest girl I’ve slept with, when can I get her alone again!’  So I went into full on chasing mode, suggesting she came with me on my weekend trip and suggesting a load of other potential dates. Plus inviting her to come and stay with me in London!

By time we had dinner it was the next week and by then her long distance boyfriend was unexpectedly coming to see her for a day later in the week.  She’d also been offered a job in Tulum and was leaving at the weekend.  This made me think ‘this is my last chance, need to impress her’ so I was way too high energy. Got her back to my room to drink wine on the balcony, but waited way too long to do anything, plus hadn’t been touching her or leading the conversation towards sex.

Also I’d been doing way too much deep diving that it had become an interview.  She was tired so I knew it was my last chance, so tried to kiss her with no setup.  She said she just wanted to keep things as they are as we get on really well and I said nothing to persuade her otherwise!  I just waited a while and tried to escalate a couple more times, which again was chasing and unsuccessful.

I spoke to her a few times around the hostel in the week afterwards, but just casual friendly stuff. Turns out I’ll be in Tulum next weekend, she said let her know, but feel like it would be hard to arrange to see her without it seeming like I’m chasing.  I was so mad with myself the next day! The escalation window had been wide open with a super hot girl, and I decided to walk away! But at least it lead to me re-reading a lot of your stuff!

Now, it wasn't like his game just completely disappeared. Because the very next day this happened:

The next day I had another tinder date with a Mexican girl who didn’t speak English.  As I really didn’t care about her of course my game was great and quickly slept with her and had a great night!

He wraps up by asking:

Would you say there should be no difference between game with 10’s than average tinder date girls? If you haven’t written an article on this I think it’s an interesting topic. And how would you play seeing the Argentinian girl again?

I've written about that in places, in snippets, but I don't think I've ever devoted a complete article to the subject.

So, let's do that now. Let's talk about why guys screw up with really hot girls... and whether you can (and should) approach them exactly the same as more ordinary, average, or cute girls.

Logistics Checklist: What to Prepare for Good Seductions

Alek Rolstad's picture
logistics checklistMake it easier on yourself to seduce by having everything you need logistically. Including what to have on your person, on your phone, and at home at your place.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today we will discuss the important but under-discussed topic of logistics. No matter how good you are, logistics are crucial for success. Logistics are key no matter when you approach women or what type of game you use.

The importance of logistics is undisputed. Nobody would dare disagree with this.

Logistics is everything in the interaction that facilitates or complicates the process. It includes the context in which the interaction and seduction take place. You can control some aspects and some you cannot. However, you can deal with unfortunate logistics (wildcards); see my post on the subject.

You can actively seek out some logistics (girls with two friends; sets of three are easier to deal with than sets of two), and there are others to avoid (a group of girls where one is very drunk, likely to cause wildcards later).

Today we will discuss the logistics you can control and implement RIGHT AWAY effortlessly. This post is useful for seducers of all levels.

We will discuss what you need:

  • To carry with you in your pocket or bag when you go out

  • To have at your place when you pull her home

Sometimes logistics alone can get you laid. It is not that common, but it does occur. However, bad logistics can ruin many potential lays. Once, I forgot to have cigarettes at home, which led me to nearly lose a threesome with two very cute Finnish girls in 2009. A student of mine missed a potential lay because he forgot to download Uber or any transportation app! Trust me, losing a lay because of stupid logistic issues are frustrating as hell, and you can easily avoid these pitfalls.

Well, no more with this post.

This list will be extensive. I have been into this for over 15 years, and I have been in almost every logistic loophole imaginable. So some of my advice can counteract some uncommon situations, but the little effort required on your end to avoid facing it makes it worthwhile to consider.

I am not claiming that you need to have everything listed here to get laid. Even if your logistics are not perfect, you often can get away with it—until you don’t. It is the latter scenario that I dedicate this post to. Logistics are a requirement to get laid in most circumstances. Bad logistics can ruin your game if you don’t take care of them. So, let’s take care of them, and if you implement most if not all the advice listed here, you can safeguard yourself from much trouble.

How to Be Consistent Picking Up Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture
pickup consistencyThere are many ways to be more consistent when out picking up women. More seductive tools, greater awareness of your surroundings, less reliance on mood, and more.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

This post is for advanced guys or those who want to work their way into the advanced level.

I’ve written much about consistency and getting results consistently before. I’ve also written about getting a high meet-to-lay ratio (how many you meet compared to how many you seal the deal with).

Both are closely correlated since a higher meet-to-lay ratio means more consistency.

Getting a high meet-to-lay ratio and becoming consistent correlates with how tight your game is and how good you are with women.

I’ve mentioned that calibration was the key to the high meet-to-lay ratio, and thus consistency. I want to elaborate on what leads to consistency. So today, I’ll discuss what makes one consistent.

First, a few words on the meet-to-lay ratio.

Charisma Breakdown: Errol Flynn

Chase Amante's picture
errol flynnHollywood’s most prolific, charismatic womanizer of all time, Errol Flynn was a magnetic force unlike any other. Just what made Flynn so utterly irresistible?

Welcome to the third installment in this Charisma Breakdown series.

For the series, I've been breaking down the mannerisms and behaviors of wildly charismatic individuals, along the lines of the four Charismatic Archetypes we discuss in greater depth in my soon-to-be-rereleased course, Charisma in a Bottle.

You can see the previous two installments here:

  1. Charisma Breakdown: John Wayne (King Archetype)

  2. Charisma Breakdown: Russell Brand (Savior Archetype)

It was my intention to do the Father Archetype next, then the Hero, but it's been a bit of a challenge finding good Father Archetype charismatics who also fit a seductive role. I think I'll most likely do Sean Connery for that, who fits the Father Archetype, and for whom I've promised to do a charisma breakdown for a while.

Meantime though, I'm just too eager to get to Errol Flynn... so we're going to jump ahead here to do the Hero.

Today we cover cinema's most legendary swashbuckler and Hollywood's biggest ever real-life charismatic womanizer: the magnetic, the charming, the irresistible Errol Flynn.

Tactics Tuesdays: Back Turns and Freeze Outs

Chase Amante's picture
back turns and freeze outsIf a girl is being snippy or you’ve hit a wall with her, make her chase you with a back turn… or just simply freeze her out.

There are a couple of old seduction community tactics I'd like to talk about today:

Back turns and freeze outs.

These are useful tactics when used correctly.

When used incorrectly they can make you look bitter at times, clownish at others.

The most key element of a successful back turn or freeze out thus is calibration: timing it right, using it correctly, and not doing it too short or too long.

Seducing Women to Sex vs. Guarding Daughters from Sex

Chase Amante's picture
lovers vs. daughtersHow can a seducer view sleeping with women as morally correct… while knowing he likely wouldn’t want his daughter to sleep around? A deep dive into sexual morality.

On Alek's recent piece showcasing three new sex talk gambits, a reader posted the following provocative comment:

Hello Alek.

I've noticed something about Girls Chase and the seduction community at large.

There seems to be a lot of cognitive bias and intellectual dishonesty in this space Re: "Sluts".

See, in this space we teach that women are human beings just like men and should therefore be free to engage in sex freely w/o judgement.

Additionally, the concept of "high body count" is a non issue to us "lovers" unless seeking an LTR.

However, the facts show that "most" women are NOT in fact built for casual sex. Most high n count women either have personality disorders, histories of child abuse, poor impulse control or high sex drives.

For the most part women barter sex for relationships and constant hookups for the average chick without committment damages her psyche. That's why FWB chicks sometimes get jaded and tired of empty sex.

Here's a thought, if women like sex so much, why cant they hold down an FWB arrangemnt in perpetuity like men would prefer?

Chase has also countered the argument that older seducers do not corrupt younger girls by fucking them young 18/19yo) because women have agency and can think for themselves.

Yet we also go on to say that women are cute little smurfs who need guidance and direction. They aren't the best decision makers particularly when young.

In short all these axioms we have here seem to be rationalisations for "lovers" to be able to fuck girls without suffering from guilt.

And one way I can prove this is to request an article titled "A Letter to my 18yo Daughter" or sth along these lines giving her advice on how to manouver sexual relations as she goes off to start her first year in college.

Would you still tell your daughter that its okay to fuck a smooth talking guy on the first date if she feels the vibe?

Would you still tell her that body count is a social construct used by prudes and puritans? One nightstands are perfectly okay.

Would you still allow her to be fucked by older dudes (30s) while in her first year of college because older man + younger chick is a completely normal thing to do?

I find it hard hard to fully embody the lover archetype because it frequently clashes with the patriach archetype inside me who thinks he might have a daughter one day.

And I understand that this site does not give womens advice because it is a mens site for MEN but in this case saying that might be an easy cop out from addressing the disingenious nature of the things we teach here Re: Women and Sex

Is it possible to be a lover and a patriach without experiencing cognitive dissonance?

Trillion Dollar Question.

I love this question, and I'd love to answer it... so, while it may be addressed to Alek, I'd like to weigh in with my thoughts on it too.

Advanced Game: 3 Qualities Elite Seducers Possess

Alek Rolstad's picture
advanced gameYou might see a playboy pull a beautiful girl or two. But is he advanced – or did he just get lucky? The trifecta of calibration, meet-to-lay, and consistency will tell you.

Hey guys.

We often talk about skilled seducers. But what defines a skilled seducer? Many people post videos of famous movies scenes on forums where the protagonist is acting sexy (like James Bond) to show what perception they have of “sexiness” or “tight game.” Some tell me about their “supernatural” friend (a “natural” is someone who is naturally skilled with women) to show me what tight game is. Sometimes they share a story of themselves in field or post a lay report on the forums and comment about the amazing job they did.

The truth is, I rarely am impressed. Don’t get me wrong. I am not claiming that the James Bond smirk is not sexy or that your natural friend has no skill. Nor do I want to discredit you in your success.

If you post a cool report on the forums and I happen to read it, you will hear nothing but praise from me.

But what really constitutes an advanced-level seducer goes far beyond that. Trust me; it is not what you’d expect.

That’s why today, I’ll share what I consider advanced-level play. Many veterans feel the same way. I know because I’ve talked to them. These are just opinions, and you are welcome to disagree.

We all have different goals, and true mastery depends on what we seek to achieve. What defines success is individual. That being said, I think there are ways to become more objective with success. I will discuss that here.

I will be setting the bar quite high for what I consider advanced level. The requirements presented in this article are reachable goals.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Value Vortex

Chase Amante's picture
value vortexBy creating a vortex of value, you can suck girls into chasing you. Yet you need two (2) key elements to NOT become the dancing monkey / friend zone guy…

Here's a little technique I like to call the 'value vortex'.

I didn't invent it, but I haven't seen it named before (or if I have I don't remember what others have called it).

It's a suspiciously-simple sounding strategy that's very easy to get wrong. Therefore I do not recommend it to beginners. Beginners will see this and want to use it, but it will backfire for them. I'll explain why below.

The basics of this strategy are that you run a seduction in such a way that you only provide value to the girl's life -- heaps of it -- while sharing next to nothing about yourself. You must also be initiating touch and getting compliance as you do it, but only in the context of providing more value to her.

The effect, if executed well and on a girl who is not immune*, is that the girl you use it with will start to chase. She will at first be intrigued by you, then she will start to chase you harder, then harder.

If not used the way I lay out in this post, however, the strategy will backfire, and you will quickly friend zone yourself.

Disclaimers out of the way, let's open up the hood on this vortex and talk using it to seduce.