Pickup

One of the habits women have that can be frightfully frustrating for men is asking them to give reasons on the most difficult of subjects. You know, when a man says, “Hey, let’s go do this,” or, “Personally, I like XYZ better,” and the woman looks at him quizzically and says, “Why?”

Until you get your reasons down, this can be one of those damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t scenarios.

Consider the following scenario and a couple of different possible responses: a man meets a woman at a bar and invites her home with him. She asks him why. A few of the more common responses:

Man is caught off-guard:
“Well, um, because I think it would be fun for us to hang out and stuff.”
Woman’s reaction? She’s probably not going with him.

Man is straightforwardly honest:
“Because I want to get together with you.”
Woman’s reaction? She’s also probably not going with him.

Man is evasive:
“Come with me and you’ll see.”
Woman’s reaction? She’ll insist on him telling her why, then – probably, not going with him.

There’s a tough situation you may run into from time to time where you’ll be asked to move things forward with two women at once. For instance, you may be sitting in a bar getting to know one girl, when suddenly another you already know or had met earlier comes up to you. What do you do?

In this situation, most beginners panic and make a silly mistake or two and lose both girls. As a guy gets more skilled, he’ll handle this sort of situation a bit better, but still view it as a bad one to end up in, and often end up worse off for having been in it than had he met each girl independently.

But if you stop and think about it, it really shouldn’t be a bad thing. Women are, after all, most attracted to men they know, or at least sense, have success with other women. So a woman seeing you in the process of getting another girl ought to be excited by this – turned on even. This ought to be a good thing.

I met a really very cute and pretty 20 year old college student waiting in line for the bus today. We started talking and grabbed seats together – actually, we almost missed the bus, too engrossed in talking to each other as we were, until we suddenly realized everyone else had walked past us and boarded already!

Our conversation flowed smoothly, but I could tell she had just the slightest hint of reservation, though I did not know why. I was being quite calm and nice with her, and was relatively certain I wasn’t coming across too strongly, and I did my best to stay away from any overly high-value topics, aside from speaking a little French with her and discussing my impression of France while traveling there a few years back when she mentioned learning French and wanting to visit Paris. Even that might have been a little too much, but overall I estimated the benefit of having these additional things to bond on outweighed the danger of showing too much value.

It wasn’t until near the end of the bus ride, fifteen or twenty minutes after we had already exchanged contact information and tentatively discussed meeting this weekend, that she finally came out with what it was that was keeping her reserved. I was able to get to it by asking her some deeper emotional questions – she discussed not loving what she studied in college, so I asked her what she loved. She then told me that her boyfriend had been disappearing together with his ex-girlfriend and not taking her phone calls.

Know how when you walk into McDonald’s or any other fast food restaurant or just about anywhere with service personnel they ask you if they can help you? They are, after all, at your service; it’s their job to be so.

Now, if you had to reckon, what do you think the likelihood is that a woman becomes very sexually attracted to a man asking her how he can help her, then catering to her every need? Chances are, not terribly likely, right?

Yesterday on my way home, the bus I was riding on came to a stop with lots of young people – in particular, lots of young college age-looking women. My interest, needless to say, was piqued. As I sat in my seat, I watched everyone board the bus out of the corner of my eye… and then, I caught sight of a cute girl dressed very fashionably coming down the aisle. Ooh.

Now, when you’re already settled in somewhere, there aren’t a whole lot of ways you can get a woman to join you proactively. You might call out to her, of course – but this is chasing pretty hard and can hurt your chances, and you’ve probably got to be feeling rather bold to do it. If you are, and you want to try it, go for it; I wasn’t yesterday, but I still wanted that cute girl to take a seat next to me.

So I pulled out my trusty ol’ come hither eyes.

Short post, but one I don’t think needs a lot of explaining to get the point across.

A guy meets a girl on the street. He likes her; she seems to like him. They talk for fifteen minutes or so and get along just fine. He feels like he ought to do something more with her… but he isn’t sure what, exactly. So, he asks her for her phone number, tells her it was great meeting her, and the two part ways.

Chances are, they never see each other again.

Sure, maybe they do, but odds are they don’t. How many of the phone numbers you take turn into lovers? Even if your follow-up is amazing, your conversion rate of numbers-to-lovers is doubtfully any higher than 20% – maximum. And if your follow-up is anything short of amazing, expect a conversion rate substantially lower.

“Consistency” has long been a focus of mine – I tend to be a very busy person with a lot going on, and I want to make things as consistent as possible, to operate as efficiently as possible. Nothing bugs me more than wasting a lot of time on something – including getting girls.

So one of the things I’ve looked for is this: what are the most consistent places to meet women and take them home from?

Nightclubs are good. Lounges are better. But there’s one avenue of meeting women I’ve found that’s more consistent and reliable than anything else: