Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

3 Reasons Women Will Resist You (+ How to Artfully Persist)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

persistance through resistanceWomen may resist a man’s romantic advances due to three (3) different causes: low compliance, FSD, or ASC. Identify which your problem is to get things moving again.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Previously I discussed how to persist and calibrate your persistence. You’ve learned how to use the different forms of persistence and when to use them. Today I’ll discuss how you can deal with resistance through persistence by persisting the right way.

You will typically have to persist when dealing with resistance. Persisting is a form of resistance, broken down into:

  • Lack of compliance – (or attraction, not to be confused with rejection). See this post for details. It goes over how to tell whether you are dealing with a form of resistance or an outright rejection.

  • Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) – her resistance against your sexual move. It’s grounded in her fear of feeling or being perceived by others (you included) as a slut. See this post for more information.

  • Female State Control (FSC) – her defense mechanism against getting emotional (aroused) without feeling that this is a good choice for her. See this post.

Ideally, the key is to persist by increasing her compliance toward you. If you are using the passive and the passive-active form of persistence, which involve compliance building tools such as breaking rapport/disqualification and social proof and jealousy plots that deal with the cause of her resistance, you will skyrocket her level of full-blown compliance, making your persisted attempts more likely to work.

But how does one deal with the causes of resistance presented last time? This is what we’ll discuss and clarify here.

I am not going to share anything new or groundbreaking. I am saying this now for transparency.

This post is a recap of previous posts and builds a bridge between different concepts to give you a clear idea of how everything fits together. It’s crucial for full understanding and is often overlooked. Many guys ask me to write posts adding different concepts in context to provide information about how they all fit into the bigger scheme. This is one of those posts.

Today’s post is for players of all levels, although the level of details may make it more suitable for intermediate and advanced players.

So first, a recap.

Should Men Have Open Relationships?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

should men have open relationshipsOpen relationships are an increasingly popular relationship setup. But should you as a man engage in them? It all depends on what you’re after.

I'm pretty familiar with the open relationship.

The open relationship has been linked with the seduction community, which I've been a part of since the tail end of 2005, more or less since its inception in the late 1990s.

Through my connection to it, I've watched countless men begin, engage in, and recommend to other men open relationships. I've seen guys transition their monogamous relationships to open relationships. I've listened to men proclaim that open relationships are the only workable long-term relationship solution and that "monogamy is dead" or "monogamy doesn't work."

Most of the OGs who stick around in the seduction community are open relationship guys -- there's a strong survivorship bias in online seduction community posting for being inclined toward open relationships. Which makes sense, right? If a guy's off in some long-term committed monogamous relationship he's not too likely to keep keeping up with a bunch of rapscallions sharing notes on tagging new tail.

Generally speaking, if you are in seduction, you will not usually get much of an alternate perspective from the open relationships cheerleading you'll see in the space coming from OGs.

It's the same in mainstream media, Reddit, and much of other social media in general. Here's an article in Vogue this month talking about "love's sharing economy" and declaring that open relationships (here dubbed 'consensual non-monogamy') are the next stage of romantic evolution -- a sort of inevitable future we will all be a part of, in a kind of joyously open sexual egalitarian utopia. Monogamy, according to the current sexual zeitgeist, is "boring", "stifling", "patriarchal", and "outdated"; non-monogamy is "progressive", "liberating", "egalitarian", and "modern." Non-monogamy is the way all the cool kids are doing long-term relationships these days! Right? Right?

The thing with open relationships folks don't tell you though is that this relationship configuration is:

  • Highly suited to SOME types of people over the long-term

  • Fun for OTHER types of people over the short-term only to degrade for them over the long-term

  • Simply unappealing altogether for a third chunk of people over either the short- or long-term

How do you know which camp you fall into?

Is the open relationship for you? Is it a joy and a liberation, a temporary dalliance, or a mistake?

Well, it's going to depend -- on you, on what you're after, and the way your life plays out.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Disruptor Destroyer

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

disruptor destroyerSo some guy wants to disrupt your conversation with a girl, either to talk to you or to take her for himself. If you can’t ignore him, what can you do? Destroy him!

Quick little tactic that absolutely wrecks anyone trying to butt into your conversation with a girl.

Every guy's been talking to a girl only to have some random dude rudely interrupt his conversation, either trying to talk to him or trying to talk to the girl.

Sometimes it's because the interloper is uncalibrated and just wanted to talk to you or her but did not know how to wait properly for an opening in the conversation to jump in.

Other times it may be because the interloper directly wants to steal your girl, and he's hoping to peel her off you, or to peel you offer her (either so his wingman can talk to her, or so he can back-turn you once he's gotten you to break circle and turn his attention to the girl, with you now out of the conversation).

My normal recommendation (and normal policy) is to just ignore the guy (see: Dealing with Disruptive Men).

Most guys won't be able to break into a conversation if you don't acknowledge them, especially if the girl is into you enough to follow your lead and ignore the guy so long as you're ignoring him too.

But what do you do if the guy is really loud, aggressive, and in your face?

What do you do if he approaches the girl first, and you can see she's about to crack and break circle to engage with him?

There's an alternate tactic you can use -- something of a disruption Plan B -- if you're quick enough on your feet.

I call it the 'Disruptor Destroyer'.

How to Deal with Opinionated People

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

opinionated peoplePeople have all kinds of aggressive, often ignorant opinions. About everything! To deal with this without losing your head, you must first put things into perspective.

Decidedly on the rise is the profusion of aggressively opinionated people.

You know, those people who will get in your face, flaunt their opinions at you and, with little manners or decorum, do their very best to bait you into either agreeing with them or outing yourself as one of 'the bad ones' who believes not as they do.

Regardless of your set of beliefs (on any of a range of items), you can probably agree that there are many of both the people who agree for the most part with you and those who really don't agree with you who hold rigid, inflexible opinions about a great many things.

If you're a critical thinker, you can probably also admit that most people -- even most of those who agree with you -- hold only shallow understandings of the positions they purport to hold, and are far more emotionally attached to their positions than they are logically secure in them.

This is a human tendency, to form emotional attachments to views, often with only a superficial eye cast toward any kind of objective underpinning of said views. Opinionated, impassioned, yet superficial arguments are annoying to everyone, but they're especially annoying if you're a critical thinker.

There's little worse for critical thinkers than to find oneself in a debate with someone demanding he unquestioningly accept the veracity of a flimsily-supported position or else be forever damned as evil incarnate (or perhaps just stupid, brainwashed, or uninformed).

This article won't be about any particular current events or hot button issues, and if you comment I'd urge you to keep to the spirit of that here too.

Instead, its focus is on dealing with opinionated people: both avoiding pointless entanglements with them as well as preserving your own sanity despite maddening insistence you agree to the unreasonable or be damned.

3 Ways Men Can Persist with Women

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

calibration persistenceThere are three (3) ways a man can persist with a woman: actively, passively, and with a mix of both flavors of persistence. He must calibrate his persistence for it to work, though.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I have discussed calibration a lot lately. I wrote a series on basic calibration, covering these areas:

I followed up recently with advanced posts on calibration, addressing:

  • Information gathering

  • Managing arousal spikes (three posts)

Today I will add another layer to calibration: how you should persist with women.

Just how much should you push, and do you deal with her resistance? You can blindly press on until she says yes, without attempting to solve the root cause.

Sometimes things between you and a girl go smoothly on the first attempt.

Other times you will face some resistance (honestly, this happens more frequently when you are a beginner).

What causes resistance?

  • Lack of comfort or a social frame – she doesn’t feel it is right socially to hook up with you.

  • She fears feeling like a slut for being sexual around you or is afraid of being judged by others.

  • Lack of compliance (“attraction”) which you can increase by using many of the powerful tools we teach here).

Often, you can increase your chances by solving the issue at hand. If she feels a lack of comfort, set a strong social frame (show more rapport, make her invest in you, display higher social value, befriend her friends).

Next week, I will write a post about what tools to use to handle different types of resistance. I’ll focus on calibrating by using the right tools for each form of resistance.

But first, we need to discern the different forms of persistence. That is, different strategies of persistence. I’ll discuss the benefits of each and indicate when to use them.

This post is suited for seducers of all levels.

Women Need a Reason to Have Sex

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women need a reason to have sexWomen need a reason for sex; men just need a place. So goes the saying… but why is this the case? Much of it has to do with the way women experience sexual arousal.

Comedians are often sources of soundbites of wisdom, wrapped up in humorous packaging.

I suppose it harkens back to the old saying that, "Many a truth is said in jest," eh?

Comedian Billy Crystal once made the following observation:

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

It's a funny little quote, that both makes an amusing "women are overly complicated / men are overly simplistic" jab at sexual dynamics yet also highlights an important truth.

The truth it highlights is that, indeed, women do not choose their sex partners or sexual situations the way men do. Women always need 'a reason' for physical intimacy to occur.

How to Know If You'll Succeed: How Many Men Do It?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

know if you'll succeedThat way you meet girls… how many other men are doing it? What’s the competition like? Often, if you’re willing to be strategic, you can raise your odds above other men.

Here's a simple metric to go by when selecting a new niche to meet women in:

How many folks are doing it?

Few guys seem to ask themselves this before they dive into things.

They just dive in.

Nevertheless, with a little due diligence before selecting a niche, you can save yourself mountains of extra work... and frustration.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Feminine Interest Spectrum

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Over the years there has been much discussion of indirect vs. direct game, going for women who are very interested in you vs. women who are only moderately interested in you vs. women who aren't at all interested in you, debates over which women are distractions and time wasters and which aren't, and related other topics.

Underlying all these discussions are various men's assumptions about the workings of feminine interest, alongside each man's preference for the type of feminine interest he pursues and the way he likes to pursue it.

By 'feminine interest', we mean:

  1. What a girl wants
  2. How much she wants it
  3. How directly and aggressively (vs. not) you can pursue that with her

Today I want to give you an easy way to think about feminine interest, that will help to resolve the various disputes between methods, and also give you a new and helpful way to think about the women you set your sights on.

Night Game’s 5 BIG Benefits (+ How It Differs from Day Game)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

night game benefitsNight game doesn’t always get a lot of love. But it has a lot of love to give. Here are 5 big benefits of night gaming… plus how night game differs from meeting girls by day.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Considering night game is not getting much love lately, I am dedicating two posts to it to give it the love it merits. I want to convince those who aren’t into it to give it a chance. Trust me; you are missing out—just AS MUCH as those night gamers who’ve never tried day game.

What is amazing about the field of seduction and pickup is that you have a vast library of knowledge, theories, techniques, and different playing grounds with different dynamics. Various “weapons” (seduction tools) work differently in certain scenarios, while new maps will give you a unique experience. This may confuse many, but the truth is, they are just different tools—similar to a video game where you can choose the weapons that fit you best!

This makes it all exciting and fun. I had a night game student who struggled and was getting demotivated. I told him, “Hey, why don’t you try day game for a bit?” He was hesitant but eventually went for it. The change of scenery and dynamics gave him more results and made him excited again—soon, he became a better night gamer.

I see no reason why this shouldn’t work the other way around. The true seducer is the guy who masters the trifecta: social circles, day game, and night game. An advanced guy will specialize in one field (or multiple). You are wrong if you think Hector Castillo, our social circle (and day game) expert, has never done night game and pulled from it. You are equally wrong if you think that Dan, our major day game expert, has never practiced night game.

Be open-minded. Try out things and give them a chance. Stubbornness never helped anyone in this field.

Here are more reasons why night game is amazing.

Female Quirks: Women Go Nuts When They Can’t Tell Your Status

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women tell your statusWhen she can’t figure you out, she’s intrigued. When you seem like you might be the man she wants, even more intrigued. Once she’s intrigued, she’ll chase.

If you've used my ball-in-your-court text properly (i.e., the way I tell you to use it), you may have been surprised how often it leads to complete reversals in how women behave toward you.

When used right, the text has something like a 50% return rate for girls... half the girls you use it with, despite them having been flakey or even ghosted you before, pop back on your radar weeks or a month or two later to tell you they're now available to go out.

Why does it work though? How does ONE text change her opinion of you from "I'm not that interested" to "You know what, I think I'd like to see him"?

Or how about the way preselection works, where a girl rejects you, totally disinterested, only for her to see you with another girl all over you a few weeks later, and suddenly Girl #1 is back flipping her hair, parading around in front of you, preening to get your attention. Why does she now care about you, when a few weeks earlier she didn't?

We know preselection has a massive positive effect on female attraction, of course. But why?

There are several factors at play for why these and other techniques work.

However, one of the factors, something that most men do not well understand, is women's need to feel like they have a firm handle on the social status of everyone around them, and how nuts with intrigue it drives them when they suddenly receive a signal that they've read you wrong, and your status and desirability might be higher than they thought.