Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Improve Communication Between You and Someone Else

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

how to improve communication
The ability to convey ideas makes the difference between winners and losers. To win at life, learn how to improve your communication, when speaking AND listening.

For most people, learning how to improve communication is the most useful skill they could ever develop. I know because it’s been my primary academic study for nearly 15 years and I've seen the transformative effects in both myself and my clients.

Masterful communication has taken me from an insecure, anxiety-ridden weirdo to a world-traveling author, dating consultant, and life coach. So, yeah, it’s a pretty useful skill.

 

Masterful Communication

Why does someone win a position like the presidency of a country? How does an average Joe pick up a girl three notches hotter than himself? How does a man with a keyboard make a living tapping words into websites?

Communication is powerful. Yet so many of us suck moose balls at it. And we suffer for it.

It’s not just personal relationships that suffer, like bickering husbands and wives. Epic wars are fought and countless millions butchered over systems of belief. Those who most effectively communicate their "rightness" (albeit largely subjective or even straight propaganda) have a distinct advantage.

But more to the point of this article, many people are suffering from small, individual battles with lovers, bosses, brothers, sisters, etc. simply because they’re terrible communicators. So, apart from picking up women or maintaining a healthy balance of power in a relationship, the value of improving communication is priceless when it comes to all aspects of life. Let's go over a few.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Good Lover

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

good lover seduction gambit
To get women in bed fast, adopt a lover’s frame. This gambit accomplishes that with sexual prizing and by displaying your deep understanding of women.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Last week, we discussed the lover’s frame, what it was, and how it is created. The lover’s frame is different from the provider frame, which involves impressing women with mostly economic resources. Sometimes it gets men laid as a reward for providing for women, but usually, all they may get is a bit of female affection, similar to the friendzone. In best-case scenarios, these men will VERY occasionally get lucky, get laid accidentally, or end up in a relationship, often with a subprime girl, or sometimes with the girl of their dreams.

Back in the day, those relationships likely resulted in marriage, and because of sociocultural factors, those marriages would remain stable. But with today's sexual liberation, this is not the case. Being a provider today is much less likely to be a fruitful mating strategy.

All you do as a provider is pay and provide for little, if anything, in return.

You have a choice: to get political and try to change society, or play the game and calibrate according to the current rules. The latter is the strategy I favor, and sadly, many men hate me for it.

The lover frame allows you to:

  • Get laid like a rockstar if that’s what you want, and enjoy a deeper form of erotic connection with a woman who will respect you as a man, not as a result of your wealth

  • Have better sex, and more quickly

  • Experience less frustration in the seduction process

  • Move from banging like a rockstar to building a relationship with the right girl; you’ll have a relationship that builds upon a sexual connection (and from there, a REAL emotional connection)

So, a win-win more or less.

There are two main effects of a strong lover frame:

  1. You generate desire as a man who can create strong emotional connections. Any gambits that display sexual prizing can work here. Some examples of gambits that accomplish this include the eight types of orgasm gambit, the orgasm control gambit, the tantra gambit, and the therapist gambit.)

  2. You make her feel allowed to act upon her desires. You want to be a man she can allow herself to be sexual with, both socially, but also emotionally (she feels you are the right guy, and you don’t judge her). Low-keyness also helps. Notable gambits here are any that communicate sexual liberalism: the period paradox, the mirror, to name a couple.

Now, what if we can use this knowledge of the lover frame as a gambit itself? This is where it gets interesting.

Poor Men vs. Cheap Men: Women View Them VERY Differently

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

poor man vs cheap man
Being poor can give you certain advantages in the dating game. But if she thinks you’re CHEAP, it’s game over! Here’s how to avoid that “cheap” stink of death.

At the time of the story I'm about to tell, I'd been on a roll for a good month. I had high momentum, pulling girls left and right from day game and having wild, same-night sex pretty consistently. I was in a spectacular groove.

During this wonderful month, my friends and I decided to go out one Friday night. My entire aura was just glowing with sex, and the girls picked up on it. We walked by this tall, skinny-but-busty Chinese girl smoking a cigarette. She stared me down and smiled as I walked by. I broke off from my friends and approached her as they kept walking. She introduced herself, then quickly revealed she’s bisexual, looking for some fun, and was bored waiting for her friends inside the bar. She was out for her friend’s birthday party, hosting out of town friends and showing them the New York City nightlife.

She invited me to meet her friends, and I obliged. Soon after, the birthday girl left, leaving me with my girl and a group of four hot single women. All were 8s and 9s in my book, and three of the five were travelers. Great group logistics. I texted my two wings to meet me at a bar ten minutes away where I led the girls. We all sat at a table and ordered drinks. The waitress asked for a card to hold the tab. As the de-facto leader of the group, I surrendered mine.

Five girls and three guys were having fun and vibing, but my wings weren’t doing the work they should have, and my girl (the alpha of HER group) was getting antsy. To keep the vibe up, I proposed we head to another lounge in a different part of town, closer to my place. The girls discussed this and agreed. My girl was still on the fence because her girls didn’t have guys, but she was following my lead, and things looked promising for an end-of-night pull.

I asked for the bill, and seeing that it was over $100, proposed splitting it. I told the waitress to bring half for me and half for the girls, and this foolish decision killed me for the night!

Long story short, the alpha girl, my girl, was furious that I wasn’t picking up the tab for her friends. When none of the girls nor my friends offered to pay, the birthday girl decided to chip in, which rubbed the alpha wrong even more. “Why should the birthday girl pay?” she said. I immediately realized my mistake and put my card down, paying the tab, but it was already too late.

She stormed off, and in an angry Chinese tirade to her friends, told them to leave my group and go to another bar. I tried to salvage things and restore the vibe, but it was too late. I’d already blown it.

In the end, I came off as cheap to my girl, the alpha lead, and the opportunity was lost.

10 Signs You're Dealing with an Alpha Female

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

alpha female
If you want a loyal, passionate girlfriend, find yourself an alpha female. Or if you want to snag a hottie from a group, you best know how to appease her alpha friend.

An alpha female is a woman in charge of her female group or a group of men AND women. She doesn’t need to be a socialite who is always playing mother hen. Alpha females are not necessarily bitches or mean, controlling women.

You can be in control of yourself and those around you without being "controlling."

We know this about alpha males. They aren’t always the caricature meathead or tyrannical character we imagine when you hear “alpha male.” The best alpha male is very kind, loving, and compassionate. However, alpha males will step up and take charge when they need or want to. In relationships, they are leaders; and in their social circles, they are often leaders as well.

Alpha females are also leaders, usually of their female groups. Some alpha females can also lead men in their social circles, even if it’s from the back. This happens because most women are more refined than most men with their social skills, charisma, and sexuality. Most men are guys, not men. They have penises and play the part of a man, but when it matters, they are eunuchs. They will go full simp and submit to her rule.

Like an alpha male, an alpha female can be the alpha in one scenario and not the alpha in another (e.g., with a different group), as you would need to be an omnipotent god to be the alpha in all scenarios.

If women are alphas, they have certain characteristics. You can tell in which contexts and groups they are considered alphas. There are alpha characteristics and alpha signals to look for in groups. I will cover both.

Why should you care if she is an alpha female? Don’t we want women who will submit to us?

Yes, we want women to submit, but we may not always want submissive women. There is a distinction.

As long as they are absent of toxic traits and aren’t so aggressive or ambitious that they are essentially men, alpha females make the best girlfriends. And they are usually the most interesting women out there.

Tactics Tuesdays: For Resistant Girls, Use This Parting Shot

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

resistant girl parting shot
Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this.

I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before.

A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave her behind, or otherwise cut contact with her, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her.

It is, in my opinion, not great form to simply walk away from a woman you've invested time and energy into, and had even a bit of a connection with and got a little ways with, without a parting shot.

The reason for this is simple: sometimes women play games, under the assumption that you will continue to play games.

They do this because most guys will.

But you're not most guys.

And before you shove off, it's important that women understand that.

Control Anger in 4 Simple Steps

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

control anger
You mad, bro? Do you allow other people and things to throw off your groove? Learn to control anger, and you’ll reap the many benefits of a level head.

Why is it possible for some men to control their anger, while others rage at the slightest annoyance? Is anger something we can harness and use for personal growth, or is it completely useless?

 

The Road Rager

When I think of a man who struggled to control anger, I think of my father.

In my early twenties, I worked for him as a furnace repairman. We’d drive from house to house, repairing broken heaters, always under stress to reach these jobs on time.

Traffic was usually busy, and my dad was a road rager. I recall one of many occasions when we were on the freeway, and a car merged in front of us. It was a little too slow for my chain-smoking speeder dad, so he went full red zone, flew up beside this car, rolled down his window and screamed, “Where the f%#k did you learn to drive a$$hole!?”

This time, it was an eighty-year-old woman. He calmed down as if nothing had happened and went back to driving.

In the three years I worked for him, I witnessed many similar situations where he lost control. Sometimes he’d get out of the van to storm off toward someone, and I’d think he’d be better suited as a swordsman in a Roman legion.

He wasn’t always violent. He’d just become annoyed at anything he perceived as idiocy. The toast wasn’t perfect? He’d call the manager over and point it out while I sat there, red-faced. He just really couldn’t control anger, and I couldn’t relate at all. Maybe that’s why I rarely get very angry, and see it as silly.

Why "The Lover" Always Wins the Dating Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

lover vs provider
Should you come across as a lover or a provider? Let’s examine why the lover’s frame is always best, no matter the type of relationship you want with a girl.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

In this post, I’ll discuss two aspects of seduction men need to consider to achieve great success with women.

There have been many theories that split concepts into categories, phases, or into different aspects, like “the five pillars of seduction,” etc. Today I want to break it down to its core.

The framework I’ll present will be very intuitive and broad, yet I’ll give examples as we proceed.

You may have certain frameworks you already use to make sense of the world of seduction and women. There is nothing wrong with that if it is helpful. However, you may encounter a competing framework that you happen to find equally interesting. Yet, it is not coherent with your usual framework. This will not be the case here.

The framework I’ll discuss is so basic that any other framework you may have will be compatible. If it is not, then your initial framework needs reworking.

A Girl's Commitment Is Honest, but Not a Promise

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

commitment in relationships
The vast majority of relationships don’t last, though they begin with sincere commitments. Let’s take a look at why that is and your options for dealing with it.

A good friend of mine is experiencing a 7-year drop with his girlfriend after living together for many years, even supporting her as a performing artist in an expensive west coast city. My friend had discovered Girls Chase after struggling somewhat through high school and college. While he didn’t have it as bad as some, he still missed many opportunities with girls who were interested in him.

Soon after discovering Girls Chase and working out his system of cold approaching by night on weekends, he started to develop a decent pickup and close rate. Once guys find a working system AND good momentum, they generally have a quick period of extreme success and many wins all at once. Often, a guy’s attractiveness and vibe are SO high and SO good at this time, that girls WILL want to rope them into relationships.

My friend is quite careful and picky, though. He enjoyed being single and picking up women. Then one night, he met a REALLY attractive woman. Instead of picking her up that evening, she gave him her number and they went on several dates before having sex. This soon blossomed into a monogamous relationship that would last seven years.

As with most monogamous relationships, girls want increasing investment from a man from the first moment until the day things end, whether by choice, mutual consent, or death do they part. After being together several years, she moved in with him on the premise of wanting to be together forever. The couple also agreed that they didn’t want kids.

While my friend was in this relationship, he didn’t stop studying Girls Chase and other materials about women and relationships. With an extremely inquisitive and process-driven mind, he learned MORE about dating and pickup after getting into this relationship. However, he was prevented from using his knowledge for self-benefit; his relationship wouldn’t allow for it. My friend felt trapped. He wanted to date other women (at least for sexual satisfaction), but he couldn’t.

As with every relationship, women want more investment over time, so the pressure increased with my friend, especially at the 4–5 year mark. His girlfriend wanted to take their relationship to the next level, to formal marriage (that's what her friends were doing). She talked to several friends in open relationships and proposed opening her relationship with my friend to help increase the spark they felt with each other. As I noted, my friend already felt trapped, so he was on board with this idea.

This opened up room for his girlfriend to “explore” as well. Women and men mostly desire different things, of course. Men (even very emotional ones) are more driven by physical appearance, and women (even very practical ones) by emotional connection and social dynamics. My friend was allowed to have extra sexual partners but no emotionally involved relationships. His girlfriend was allowed to go on dates with men but not have sex with them.

This setup only stalled the underlying issue: forward progress in their relationship. Girls always want more than they have, and a relationship either keeps progressing through growth (usually led by the woman’s paradigm), or one gets trapped with the other (leading them to support or resent each other), or it ends.

This is how relationships transpire.

Book Your Ticket to "Girls Chase Island"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls chase island
Ready to beat approach anxiety once and for all and enjoy the experience of a lifetime? Book your vacation TODAY to Girls Chase Island, where the girls chase YOU.

With all the lockdown craziness we have going on now, I'm very excited to announce the general public opening of Girls Chase Island.

Girls Chase Island is the first vacation destination in the world where you are guaranteed to have hot girls chasing you.

If you're well traveled you might know about spots like the Philippines where the women are much easier than usual. However, even in the Philippines the women won't actually approach you very often (and the Philippines is not nearly as good or easy now as it was 10 years ago).

The question we had at GC though was "Where can a guy go in the West to experience an actual full on 'better than spring break' experience with the opposite sex?"

We wanted to use it both for training purposes to help some of the 'hard case' guys with really bad approach anxiety... and just in general as a really fun resort.

Because honestly, what guy doesn't want to fly to an island where, for once, desirable women chase him?

So, in 2018, we set to work to bring Girls Chase Island into being.

And now, a few years later, as we're opening it to the public, you can at last get your ticket to the island.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Heavy Pause

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

heavy pause
Use the 'heavy pause' in the right moment, just before you escalate. It makes it EASIER to make moves with the women you want to make moves with.

A pregnant pause is a pause you make before you say something impactful, or when you wait for the other person to fill in the silence.

Yet there's a specific type of pregnant pause we can use for specific situations, right before escalation.

To differentiate this pause from the more generic pregnant pause, let's call this type of pause the 'heavy pause'.

You can use a heavy pause before any important courtship milestone:

Heavy pauses serve as a sort of 'moment of truth' when you find out whether a girl is ready for the next step or not.

They also let you build up anticipation before you take the plunge... which makes the next move you make all the sweeter.

And if you're used to speeding through your interactions, a few heavy pauses at the right places can make all the difference between a rushed courtship versus one that proceeds at a whirlwind pace yet never feels hurried to her.