Insights from the Mind of a Seducer
3 Reasons the Girl You Had a Great Connection with Disappeared
I’ve been coaching guys on their love lives for over a decade-and-a-half now, yet this one mystifying complaint shows up again and again:
Why did this girl I had an amazing connection with disappear?
This problem perplexes men when it occurs. It seemingly defies all the rules of logic + sense! Great connection = want to see each other again… right?
So why the heck do girls you have a great connection with vanish?
In fact, there are THREE (3) common reasons this occurs – all of which aren’t things men normally consider as potential reasons a girl might ghost.
We’ll have a look at them all, and then we’ll talk what to do to avoid these boondoggles of connections happening to you.
How to Chat Up Two Girls (Dealing with 2-Sets)
Hey guys and welcome back.
Table of Contents
Last week, I discussed running 2-sets—groups of two women when you are alone. With a wingman, theoretically, it’s more straightforward.
I also mentioned screening, looking for 2-sets that appear easy to deal with and those that are more difficult or impossible (hint: move on!) by assessing different screening factors.
And I went over a few tips and tricks for running 2-sets.
Today, we will delve further by discussing how to run 2-steps. This post continues last week’s post but also stands on its own. If you like, you may read this first, then last week’s post.
Both posts continue my older post on 2-sets. The advice in this post still applies, and I try not to repeat myself in these two posts. So, check out that post, as it covers the basics and strategies I do not mention here, such as the social proof strategy and the last-resort (ultimatum) strategy.
Today’s topic is how to run a 2-set, covering some theory first. Next week’s post will explore how to sexualize and seal the deal when running 2-sets.
How to Develop the Ladies Man's Killer Instinct
On the forum, a member shared a report of a girl he pulled to his place, only for him to forget to sexualize things with her once back. Instead, he held an engaging, yet platonic, conversation with her. After some time passed, she departed on friendly terms – nothing intimate having taken place.
A second member in another report discussed a pair of dates he’d had with a girl. This girl had signaled strong sexual interest in him from the first date… but he had yet to make a move. He planned to have her at his house for a third date. He hoped to finally get up the gumption to make his move then.
All across seduction forums you can find stories like these. You can find them other places, too. A few months back I shared some tales from women talking about guys who’d moved too slow and how disappointed these women were. Most guys who eventually become skilled seducers are guilty of moving too slow and missing escalation windows plenty in their younger years, too. I certainly was. My early years were littered with lost lays, purely because I lacked the ‘killer instinct’ to make the move.
You should not be discouraged though.
The development of this instinct takes time.
Once you have it, it will begin to feel strange you ever once lacked it.
Tactics Tuesdays: Interest Loops
Let’s have a quick look at combining interest bait with open loops – something we’ll dub ‘interest loops’. This is really only for intermediate and advanced socializers, but might still be an interesting read even if you’re not there yet.
As a recap, interest bait is anything you say that piques a girl’s interest in what you’ll say next or why you’re saying it. For instance, “You know who you remind me of?” or, “Can I ask you something persona?”
An open loop is a conversation thread you open, then leave open, while you switch over to another conversation thread. For instance, if you open a loop talking about your recent trip to California, then without closing that thread switch to having her tell you about her semester abroad in France. When the semester abroad thread ends, you can return to the California trip – or just open more loops.
The benefit of interest bait is its ability to intrigue girls who might otherwise not be tuned in (or even have one foot out of the interaction).
The benefit of open loops is that conversations feel ‘incomplete’ when they still have conversation threads left open… so you can keep a bunch of loops open and she’ll feel more committed to continuing the conversation.
So what happens if you combine interest bait with an open loop, creating what we’ll call interest loops?