Pickup

You have something sexual you want to tell a girl or show her, but it’s inappropriate. How do you get around its impropriety? By baiting her into begging you to share it with her.

Want a simple little tactic you can use to bait girls into asking you things you couldn't/wouldn't normally be able to get away with in conversation?

Because there are some things that you really cannot just come out and drop on a girl, without it being too forward or out-of-place.

The solution, if you want to use a really forward compliment or bring up or show her something really sketchy is to lure her into asking you for it, pushing you for it, so that when you finally drop it on her, "she asked for it."

With a little good framing, this is not hard to do at all.

Note: while this tactic is simple, it requires a fair degree of calibration, and thus its use is a bit more advanced. So this will mostly be for intermediate and up guys (and really is for more advanced seducers).

Beginners may still find it interesting to read about, if purely for the psychology aspect.

Canned game routines get a bad rep in the community since the natural game reaction. But are they really all that bad?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

On my second article about dealing with groups, DJM commented:

“Alek! Thanks for your great posts. Now that the mainstream pickup scene is filled with so much crap, it’s great that we have someone from the old school days still writing great content. I would really be grateful if you wrote a post about routines, gambits, and canned material. Nowadays, it’s taboo to mention routines or gambits in the community. You’re one of the few who still believes in and uses them. Please elaborate on how they can help – especially for beginners – and remove some of the stigma around them. Thanks a lot!!.”

Thank you for the kind words! Comments are what keep me motivated in doing the work I love: writing about pickup and seduction. So, thanks again.

Now, onto your request. As DJM implies, I think routines are misunderstood. What is a routine? In pickup and seduction, they’re ready-made techniques you can use as routines. The commentator is correct when he says there is a stigma surrounding them. It’s why we often prefer calling routines “gambits.”

In this post, I’ll discuss the pros and cons of using canned routines. Next week, I’ll explain my way of using routines, how they can benefit you, and how they can give you ALL THE PROS without THE CONS listed in this article.

First, I need to discuss some theories on why routines have such a bad rep.

Paradiastole is a technique for reframing criticism into trophies. That vice of yours? Hey, look on the bright side! At least it means you (something good). That’s paradiastole.

"You shouldn't say something like that to a woman!" a girl recently told me, half-tickled, half-irate. "It shows you have low EQ!"

"Well, least I'm honest," I said. "Just think how bad it'd be if I was low EQ and I wasn't honest!"

I use this kind of reframe a lot. There's a name for it: it's called 'paradiastole'.

(my EQ's pretty good, by the way)

Paradiastole is a way to reframe a criticism into something positive, in a playful and humorous way. It deflects the other person's judgment, often with a bit of moderate self-deprecation.

If you don't do this, or you don't do it enough, it's a handy little tactic you can add to your arsenal.

It’s easy to get a big head because you beat an RTS noob or picked up a DTF girl. Yet a truly good seducer (like a good RTS player) relies on strategy, counters, and skillful pacing.

Hey guys. Welcome back!

Last week my post described how playing RTS games inspired me and taught me lessons over time. Today I’m going to take you through the second and final part of this series.

This series might seem odd to some readers. Isn’t the idea of writing about Real-Time Strategy video games on Girls Chase borderline geeky? Sure.

However, we are talking about strategy games, and to me, pickup and seduction is a strategy game of sorts. As I mentioned last week, it also comes down to execution (the distinction between micro and macro from the gaming world).

Today I’ll continue to discuss what I’ve learned from playing RTS games and how they apply to seduction. Due to the pandemic, I’ve started playing again (what else is there to do?), and the more I play, the more I see how my overall mindset has been influenced by my time playing online.

Last week I broke down the overall ideas behind RTS games and how they apply to seduction, and today I will get deeper into the subject and show how strategic thinking from RTS can help you become a better seducer.

Each man forms his opinions on women from the women he meets. Yet not every man meets the same sorts of women — so selection bias shapes his opinions.

I've talked about this a bit here and there. But today I'd like to highlight it specifically (and clearly).

You (yes you, the reader) are suffering from selection bias in the women you date.

Your opinions about women form from a subsection of all women that is almost certainly not comprehensive.

Further, even if you've experienced a broad cross section of women over time, if your seductions of late have been limited to a smaller cross section of women (and any chunk of your seductions across any discrete chunk of time will likely have been), selection bias has crept in whether you realize it or not.

Selection bias is subtle but sometimes insidious. It can lead men to sweeping, inaccurate beliefs about women they don't realize are inaccurate at a broad scale.

Right now, I'd like to highlight how selection bias in dating works, to help you be aware, and allow you to shield yourself from the downsides of this mental glitch we all possess.

If you take her from the setting you seduced her in to one that’s very different, you risk disrupting your seduction. Keep an eye on environments as you pull/change venues.

One of the biggest mood-killers in a seduction is when the setting changes.

Every guy who's been around the seduction block has encountered this during transitions.

You meet a girl somewhere (let's say at a bar), and the vibe is great. She's connected with you, laughing with you, the flirtation is strong. There's a strong sexual vibe.

Then you take her out of there. You go to a diner. The two of you chill. The vibe comes down.

You head out onto the street to hail a ride back together. "You know what, I'm just going to go home I think," she tells you.

You try to get her to stick around: "No, no! The car's almost here. We'll just go back for 30 minutes. It'll be a great time, I promise."

But she bails anyway.

What happened?

You know (you could feel it) that if there'd been some way to shag this girl in the bar you met her at, she would absolutely have been yours.

However, there wasn't. You tried taking her to the diner, then home, and somewhere along the way things lost steam.

This will not always happen. Sometimes you can maintain the vibe across settings.

Nevertheless, if you want to maximize your odds to get the girl, keep the setting constant.

There are two tried and tested ways to approach a mixed group. One is to wait for the opportune moment. The other? Mystery Method.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week we discussed mixed groups and the tendency guys have to immediately assume that any men interacting with girls must be part of their group, when they could have met the girls that same night.

You can’t assume all men in a club will spend the entire night idle. Some approach girls eventually (especially after binging booze — if you’re able to do the same somewhat sober you’ll enjoy a significant advantage).

In my experience, most men don’t cold approach much (unless drunk) in bars and clubs, but it still happens. Cultural differences can play a part. In some more social cultures, men walk up to talk to girls more often.

What if you happen to belong to a culture where that is not the norm? It could be that the guys with the girl you fancy know each other. But does that mean they’re part of the same group?