Pickup

Does it seem like sexually experienced women are more likely to reject you if you’re less aggressive or don’t go for things right now? Expectations + experience are the reasons why.

We're going to talk about some fairly advanced attraction psychology in this article. However, if you stick with it, the responses you see from different types of women will start to make a lot more sense. It will also make even clearer to you the importance of moving faster and refining your calibration with women.

Commenting on my article about myths about women novice seducers often believe, a reader named Marco asked the following:

But in your experience so far, have you ever came across a girls ( "sluts") who will perceive you as too "soft" and sexually inexperienced if you asked them out on a date? Maybe its all in my head but i think there are some type of girls who reacts much better to sexually aggressive guys, might even say uncalibrated guys, who immediately suggest casual hook ups oppose to guys who want to take them out for a drinks?

Well, for one, I have, but, for two, it's not quite so black-and-white as one might think.

This article is going to be something of an unofficial companion to Alek's piece on the easiness or not of sexually liberated vs. sexually reserved women yesterday (haven't run it by him so I don't want to call it 'official'... but it's right up that piece's alley).

You can absolutely take sexually open women out on dates while still maintaining the sexually aggressive playboy frame. Likewise, it is possible to have sexually reserved women so amped up hoping you'll make something happen with them now that they become disappointed when you do not.

So, while sometimes open or slutty girls will look down on you if you try to date them rather than pull them, they may not. And while many times reserved girls will be perfectly fine with dates, from time to time they won't be.

What determines whether a girl likes or dislikes your attempts to pull her or date her?

A big part of it is the interplay between you, and your response to her signals.

In-your-face sexually promiscuous girls are not what they seem. Neither are "conservative" girls...

Hey, all! Today we will debunk one of the biggest biases in the seduction community. Even as a skilled seducer, I’ve fallen for this in the past, and I still do it on bad days.

This post is to educate you and help me become more conscious of a bias I experience. Debunking this bias will give you success with women and hopefully make things seem less scary. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

What I’m about to discuss is something only skilled seducers seem to be aware of. Ironically, we haven’t discussed it here before.

Girls who seem less sexually liberated or “upfront” are not necessarily harder to lay than so-called “sluts” (I don’t like this word) or “easy” girls, who tend to be more sexually expressive and open.

It follows that these girls may be easier to smash (and easier to deal with in a relationship) than more “sexually liberated” or “expressive” chicks.

This doesn’t mean sexually liberated and expressive women are always harder to bed than more “stuck-up” girls. Nor does it mean “stuck-up” women are necessarily easy to get. The point is: assessing how easy a girl is to roll in the hay with based on how much she expresses sexual intent or how liberal her attitudes are can be a mistake.

We’ll start by looking at WHY sexually liberated girls may not be as “easy” as they seem before making the case for more sexually “restricted” girls.

Being able to assess difficulty is a key tool in seduction, as it helps you optimize your efficiency and success rate.

Hey guys! Today I will share a post for our advanced readers. This post may serve players of all levels, but it may be a bit heavy for the less experienced.

Nevertheless, it is an interesting subject. We’ll go over why a particular girl or group is hard to seduce.

As you will see, it can be tricky to assess, and so it should be obvious that you are likely to be wrong in your assessments (the harder something is, the more likely you are to make mistakes). Hence the message is: don’t overthink and waste your energy but instead go for it. You may realize that some girls are not that hard to get, even though they may initially have come across as hard nuts to crack.

And if they are hard to get, the challenge will provide you with valuable lessons.

These are some simple facts to consider.

This post will cover different variables in determining how hard a girl is to seduce. I will leave out one variable I have covered in-depth in a previous article: girls put up various types of resistance at different phases of the interaction. Some are hard to approach but easy to extract once you hook them in; others are easy to approach but hard to extract. Some are easy to both approach and extract but infernally difficult to escalate to sex with.

So keep this variable in mind as you read this post.

Take a girl into another room, and her emotions and memories change. But are these room transitions good for your seduction… or are they harmful to it?

Here's a tactic shockingly simple that a surprising number of men don't seem to have in their tactical repertoires: room transitions.

That is to say, when you need a shift in how things are going with a girl, particularly once you've established a certain pattern in the room you are in, it's much more natural to do that following a switch to a different room.

Sounds simple, but if you've ever found yourself trapped on a couch with a girl you brought home, having a deep conversation where you've waited too long to kiss and now it would feel awkward, a room transition can save you.

Further, if you bring a girl to your place for a date, and she isn't ready to go to bed right away so you need to take her through the courtship in the apartment, often it is going to be much easier to jump from courting to seducing following a room transition.

There's a downside to room transitions too: if you've ever had an amazing connection going with a girl somewhere, then stepped outside with her and it was like the connection completely evaporated and she left... or if you had a girl at your place totally ready to get intimate with you, but you decided to move her to the bedroom to get more comfortable, only the moment you set foot in the bedroom with her it was like a switch flipped and she decided she needed to go, you've run into the ugly side of room transitions.

Knowing how these transitions work allow you to switch things up when things are stuck or aren't going well, and avoid ruining a good thing when things are smooth.

What makes the room transition work as a seduction tactic is a little-known psychological principle known as 'The Doorway Effect'.

Resistance is not rejection. Pros know this and calibrate accordingly. Novices think it's the end of their chances with the girl they're talking to.

Editor's note: while this is Part 2 of Alek's series on fear of rejection, we mistakenly published it first. You can read Part 1 here.

Hey guys, welcome back!

Last week I discussed how to counter different forms of anxiety regarding “making a move” with girls, whether we’re dealing with:

• Approach anxiety

• Fear of escalating the vibe

• Fear of going for the kill (attempt an extraction)

Some of you have experienced great results through affirmations and other techniques (inner game). Others have conquered anxieties with meeting women by repeatedly exposing themselves to rejection.

I won’t deny that for some, these strategies may work. However, they simply don’t work for me. I’m a practical guy; I want practical solutions to my problems. Whenever I know that I have an answer to any potential difficulty I may face, I feel more comfortable and less anxious about the situation.

It’s from this point of view that I decided to write a two-part series on this subject. Last time we discussed the many causes of resistance and rejection. Being aware and knowing how to avoid these issues will grant you better results and allow you to feel more confident and relaxed since you know you can potentially avoid resistance and rejection.

Resistance may still occur, but with my advice, it can be a lighter form that is less hostile or scary. More importantly, that “lower caliber” resistance (sometimes facing resistance is simply unavoidable) will be easier to deal with.

That alone should make you feel more at ease with making a move (that’s the message from my last post). But what if you could prevent the mistakes that trigger resistance and deal with it whenever it bears its ugly face? What if you could turn resistance around to your benefit?

Would making a move seem scary then? You’d not only know how to prevent resistance (the subject of my last post) but also know to circumvent it and turn things around. There wouldn’t be any lingering fears, or they’d be greatly minimized. Worst-case scenario you’d enjoy the practical benefits of doing things right, which would give you better results.

Today I’ll discuss how you can learn to handle resistance and turn it around, listing the different strategies. I won’t write about anything new here but will share some basics in a new light so newer readers can take the message and get more results. More experienced guys may view this post as a good recap.

If you meet a girl or have a date, but you use a tactic too long or too many times, the tactic “inflates” – i.e., turns stale. How can you avoid stale tactics? By using a tactics timer.

This is a little technique I developed for myself to guard against inflation.

As a refresher: any time you use a certain tactic too long, it becomes 'inflated'. That is to say, you get predictable and things turn stale.

You can use this with any basic example. Imagine a guy talking to a girl who uses a good "That's what she said!" joke at an opportune time. The girl laughs. It's kind of cheesy, but also a little bit funny.

Three minutes later, he uses the exact same joke. Then another five minutes and he uses it again. Ten minutes after that, he tells her, "That's what she said!" yet again.

By this point, the joke is tired, stale, and inflated, and using it actually hurts the interaction because it feels like this guy has nothing else. He only has the few tricks he's been using, and while they might've felt fresh at first, that freshness is now long gone.

What are this guy's odds to hook up with the girl he's talking to? Not great, and getting lower by the minute. The more time he spends in inflation, the lower his odds become.

When you're learning, or you're rusty, you will tend to find yourself trapped in inflationary spirals at times. You'll realize you're getting boring, stale, and predictable... and then you can feel stuck.

You might start to panic a bit.

What can you do to escape, and salvage things with this girl?

The solution is to use tactics timers as a way to consciously avoid slipping into inflated interactions.

The Moon Is Blue is a 1953 film about pick up, seduction, and sex. In it, a playboy picks a girl up and brings her home. Another player tries to seduce her first, and fascinating things ensue.

The Moon Is Blue is a delightful 1953 film about seduction, based on a German play translated in 1951 to English and staged on Broadway.

It begins with a day game out-shopping pickup. Donald Gresham (played by William Holden, who has a habit of playing the moody seducer types) receives an approach invitation from Patty O'Neill (played by the charming Maggie McNamara), but fails to approach after she backturns him and walks away.

When he spots her eying him a second time a few moments later, he realizes she's definitely into him and he'd better chase her down to make his approach. So chase her down he does.

This entire film is about pickup, seduction, and male and female dynamics. The words 'pick up', 'seduce', and 'seducer' appear throughout its runtime.

If you like film examples of seductions, or you're interested in seduction dynamics, you're almost certain to like this film.