Articles by Author: Joseph W. South | Girls Chase
  1. Articles by Author
  2. Articles by Author: Joseph W. South

Articles by Author: Joseph W. South

How to Decipher Female Subcommunication, Part 2

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

In the last segment of the Practical Female Psychology series, we discussed how and why females developed the language of Subcommunication and how it gets used by women today.

We learned how women are often Ambivalent; that is, a woman will communicate in such a way so as to cause confusion in the male mind, make sure she keeps her options open, and attract resources and romantic affection from as many avenues as possible without crossing the line into social ostracism, where she risks getting labeled a “slut”.

We also learned how the men who best succeed with women understand this secret female language, and in turn have learned the art of Discretion, which is basically a conspiracy to allow females to operate in that certain way without any hindrance.

subcommunication

Today we’ll discuss Subcommunication as it relates to the dangers and opportunities surrounding dating in the workplace; why no matter how much you learn about females, you still want to talk like a man does; and some more practical tips for mastering the fine art of interacting with females.

How to Develop True Self-Control as a Man

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

I couldn’t wait to get my driver’s license when I was 16, and before my 17th birthday I got my dream job as pizza delivery boy. On my second night of work in Mississauga, Ontario (a suburb of Toronto), I got fired.

I went to an address with a pizza. As I approached the door, I could hear the pounding bass and the hoots and hollers of the people inside. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, a bunch of happy young people burst out practically on top of me, followed closely by thick wafts of tobacco and weed.

A cute girl about 3 years my senior (19 – LOL) tried to pass me a beer over the shoulder of the dude who was facing me and counting the money for the extra large… It was cold outside, so I suggested they let me step inside while they figured out the money and I could drink the beer (Canada and the USA have some of the most draconian public drinking laws imaginable and, ironically but not surprisingly, a huge problem with public drinking).

self-control

Someone passed me a joint. I found myself on a couch with a beer in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and the cute 19 year old on my knee giving me a “supertoke”. One thing led to another, and I was shocked and appalled to see how angry my boss was the next night when I went back to the pizza parlour asking if I could work again. I was fired on the spot. Logically I understood why, but I still resented it; why couldn’t I have fun AND have a job I love? Does life always have to be a tradeoff between doing what’s best for you and doing what you love to do?

As I get older, I’ve started to become more aware of the value of self-control.

Self-control is simply the ability to resist urges when it’s profitable for you to do so. It is the strength to put all things into priority and context. It would have taken only slightly more player skill to look at the host and the 19 year old girl and everyone else in that party in the eyes and tell them that I WOULD be back in 2 hours as soon as my shift was done, and if they would save me some booze and weed I would bring more pizza. How hard is that? I was already in with them. It was difficult because I had no self-control, no sense of timing, and no healthy view of context.

According to Napoleon Hill, author of the Think and Grow Rich, men learn self-control in one of two ways:

  1. Their sex drive diminishes, usually with age but sometimes prematurely due to bad health or injury

  2. They learn to sublimate their sex drive to higher thinking and purpose

Hill wasn’t talking about abstinence, he was talking about the correct sequence of profitable action. In a nutshell, if you’re feeling “frisky”, Hill wants you to do productive work FIRST, before turning to the opposite sex. Consistently doing so, Hill says, means your results in all areas of life will skyrocket.

Underlying my desire to risk my job to be close to a woman was an extremely high sex drive. Well into my 40s now, I find it challenging to go a full 24 hours without an orgasm and ejaculation at least once a day. It was 3, 4, even 5 times a day, for DECADES.

Don’t get me wrong – I was as unsuccessful with women as they come back when I was 16, but I was also very much a “natural”, something I did not fully appreciate about myself until well into my 30s.

How to Decipher Female Subcommunication

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

“You should be stronger than me

Don’t you know you supposed to be the man?

You always wanna talk it through – I don’t care!

Why’d you always put me in control?”

— Stronger Than Me by Amy Winehouse

One of the most important aspects to understand about female psychology is the use and existence of a type of language known as subcommunication – a secret language evolved by women over millennia in a male-dominated world. In this secret language, women communicate their sexuality freely, but in a way that most men cannot hear or understand. Women have learned the hard way, through millennia, that men have a psychological need to create a type of schizophrenic distinction among women, slotting all women into a category of either “whores” or “Madonnas”.

subcommunication

Subcommunication – as a feminine subset of the English language – is based on communicating with indirection, double meaning, ambiguity, emotionality, and imprecision for the following purposes:

  • To preserve social harmony.

  • On the other hand, to stir up competition amongst people when it seems profitable to do so.

  • To avoid responsibility and establish plausible deniability.

  • To signal intent to someone, as in “Tell without telling, ask without asking.”

  • To establish boundaries and frames of interactions.

  • To avoid commitment; maintain ambivalence; keep options open.

It’s important to realize that Subcommunication imposes upon the recipient responsibility for correctly interpreting the meaning. In this article, I’m going to focus on Subcommunication in the context of female sexuality.

Female Basic Conflict: Understanding Women’s Ambivalence

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

Tell me, what you’re thinking about

When you got me waiting patiently

Usually, I don’t have to wait for nobody

But there’s something about you

That really got me feeling weak

— Tell Me, by P. Diddy. Vocals here sung by Christina Aguilera.

If you truly want to understand the psychology of women, you must be aware of, and willing to accept, a paradoxical truth: women feel greater sexual attraction towards men who are less inclined to provide for them emotionally and financially.

female basic conflict

Euphemistically you can say: in their heads women know that nice guys make much better husbands, but deep within their secret hearts, women love to love bad boys.

This paradoxical phenomenon is literally a schizophrenic duality between a woman’s need for survival on the one hand, and her need to express her own sexuality on the other. This creates a psychological condition where a woman’s sexuality is necessarily ambivalent and conflicted.

Simply put, the Female Basic Conflict is the need to manipulate a man into the role of her Provider, followed by an automatic contempt and/or lowering of her sexual attraction towards a man who lets her do so.

Chick Logic Explained: Why She Doesn’t Think Like You Do

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

Since pretty much the beginning of humanity, men have considered "Female Logic", or the female way of thinking, to be one of the greatest mysteries in the universe. Psychoanalysts, philosophers, and poets have all spent countless hours agonizing over this topic.

chick-logic

Well, the good news is that female logic (also known as chick logic) can be explained to men in a perfectly understandable way. You can learn how female logic works just like you can learn the functions of a computer or the technical specifications of a car.

First of all, based on what we considered in Chapter 1 with regards to Evolutionary Psychology, let's stipulate that every function of the human brain has an evolutionary purpose. The evolutionary purpose of female logic is to achieve two basic goals:

  1. To create ideal conditions for the procreation and birth of children, and ideal conditions to protect those children during their early years of development.
  2. To influence the men and the environment that surrounds her to give her and her children support and protection. This influence commonly manifests in behaviors that any guy would recognize as "manipulation." However, in this context, feminine influence may be seen as a positive force, used by a woman instinctually as a means to support human life.

A woman naturally achieves these goals by creating within herself a sense of emotional congruence. While creating such emotional states within herself, the woman is especially concerned with "how she feels right now", as opposed to a male-logic concern of "how A correlates to B, or how A is the cause of B." In psychologically healthy women, these will mostly be emotions of pleasure and safety. In other women, drama, histrionics, and hysteria serve a similar purpose.

In the following discussion, the reader should keep in mind we are not making any value or moral judgments. Emotional reasoning is very likely deeply embedded into humans, if not all mammals. Human males have simply evolved a further characteristic of being more able to easily suppress emotional reasoning, although the way some modern men act can makes you wonder.

Female Neuropsychology: Arousal, Talking, Passivity, and More

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

If you’re a red-blooded heterosexual male who has ever interacted with a female, you will likely agree with the spiritual guru and relationship coach David Deida when he describes the differences between masculine and feminine thinking as like being in two completely different universes.

female neuropsychology

The good news is, for perhaps the first time ever, we can truly begin to understand how females think and the reasons why. We’ve learned to translate certain female thought patterns and actions into something much more comprehensible to the average masculine mind.

I would love to see the topic of Female Neuropsychology taught to men at school! Many marriages would be saved and many couples would be happier. While that’s not likely in the near future, let me try to shed some light on this complex topic for you.

Since the beginning of time, women have tended to be more refined in their understanding of male sexual neuropsychology; they simply needed such skills for physical survival in a world dominated by large, aggressive men. Women are usually completely silent about their deep knowledge of the male psyche and sexuality though. I believe this silence – playing the fool, as it were – is the result of two factors:

  • The female need to manipulate the male into a Provider role for reasons of survival; and

  • The female need for social acceptance, or “Social Status Preservation” (aka Anti-Slut Defense), whenever female promiscuity is punished. The corollary to Anti-Slut Defense in women is the Madonna/whore Complex in men, which I will discuss at length in a later article.

Bitches Be Crazy (Or, Why Women Love Strong Men)

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

Chapter I – The Role of Evolution

When it comes to theories about the sexual behavior and choices of women, it’s good to keep in mind that these are theories and not absolute truth.

As Eckhart Tolle says, this knowledge should properly be viewed as signposts along your journey in life, and not necessarily a rigid, dogmatic morality. Theories can be valid and extremely useful in helping us create models of the world.

bitches be crazy

After having sex with over 100 women as I have, and having had platonic relationships with hundreds more, you can see how patterns of behavior fit together, and how female psychology becomes largely predictable – as Franco my co-author describes it – with mathematical precision!

Practical Female Psychology, Pt. I: Why I Wrote the Book

Joseph W. South's picture

By: Joseph W. South

Note from Chase: this is our first article from Joseph W. South, a long-time staple in the seduction and men’s dating advice community who’s been helping men do better with women for quite some time now. Joseph’s in his mid-40s, and has a broad array of experience with women to contribute. He does a thorough job introducing himself in this article, so I’ll let him take it from here. Here’s Joseph.

Hey guys,
Since this is my first article for Girls Chase, I want to take a moment to introduce myself:

I was born in Toronto in 1969, which makes me 45 years old today. By the age of 39, in 2008, I was retired with over a million American dollars in the bank. By late 2012 I had lost every penny of it and I was completely broke and in debt. I’ve been on a steady path of recovery since I hit bottom, and today, my life and prospects have never been better. Going through that experience taught me humility and new wisdom, while also greatly clarifying the wisdom I already had.

I’ll try to add a personal story in every article I write, so you can put my advice into good context.

I discovered “the game” in 2003. Not the book, The Game by Neil Strauss, which was published in 2005, but the actual game of seducing women, having threesomes, hosting parties for hundreds of people, and juggling multiple girlfriends at the same time. I attended bootcamps, seminars, and voraciously read everything I could get my hands on in this genre. I had the privilege of meeting and interacting with many of the characters depicted in Strauss’ book: everything from brief conversations, to bootcamps, to interviews on my podcast, along with some great friendships that endure to this day. In 2007, I collaborated with Franco [editor: Franco of mASF fame, different from our Franco] and David Clare to produce Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man. For the sake of brevity I will refer to the book as “PFP”.