Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Sex Talk Tonality: How to Use Your Voice During Sex Talk

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By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk tonalityWhat voice tone should you use when you talk to women about sex? Guys often get it wrong, talking too excited – but you’ll usually want normal tonality, not eager.

Hi everyone, and welcome back.

Those of you who read this blog know that my signature technique is sex talk. Talking about sex is a safe and rejection-free way to set a sexual frame. This helps convey that you are a safe and good lover (sexual prizing).

The idea is NOT to be direct and “say what you want to do to her,” as many imagine when hearing the term “sex talk,” but rather to talk about sexuality and related topics as any other subject to make the interaction about sex (set a sexual frame). The girl you are talking with will realize that you know what you are doing in bed without explicitly showing any particular interest in her, as this can trigger resistance and perhaps even a rejection (it becomes too much too quick for her).

I have discussed this in-depth at in “Sleazy Sexy Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference?”

You may also check out my forum post, which compiles all the sex talk articles and more. These include every theoretical post about sex talk, how to talk about sex in a safe and non-creepy way, calibrating sex talk, how to transition into it, as well as many different gambits and examples.

I have not yet written a post on voice tonality and sex talk. Better late than never; here it is!

Sex Talk Gambit: Female Submission

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By: Alek Rolstad

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I’ll discuss a gambit I love: the female submission gambit. I have been using this a lot lately and it is part of my current stack.

This gambit was originally from a 2019 forum post. See Sex Talk: The Submission Gambit.

I’d like to make this information available to a broader audience. I have successfully used this gambit, so I wrote a blog post about it. I'll include more details, comments, and analysis, then thoroughly explain the female submission gambit because it deserves it. Even better, this gambit is highly relevant today.

Sex Talk Gambit: Independent Woman

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By: Alek Rolstad

independent woman gambitIn this simple-to-run sex talk gambit, easily transition into sex topic with a topic every woman loves to discuss: strong, independent women.

Hi guys, welcome back. Today, it is time for a sex-talk gambit.

Gambit posts are examples of themes I use that have been extensively and successfully field-tested. This post provides examples of how to deliver a sex-talk gambit, the independent woman gambit, followed by an analysis of why it works.

I’ll describe the gambit and then present an example. Feel free to word it to suit you. I will likely not word the gambit the same way presented here the next time I go out. In field, I remember the theme and key moments and will freestyle, keeping in mind the different mechanisms happening in my setting. By doing so, I can calibrate as factors come into play or, even better, find ways to accentuate them.

To be clear, even though I do not repeat the gambit exactly as presented here, chances are that I am likely to deliver something along the lines of what I describe below. Your version may differ slightly.

Aside from wording the gambit to your style, you can take this (and any other gambit) as inspiration to create a gambit covering similar themes. You could even use different themes using the same mechanisms or try different mechanisms using this theme. So, field test and see what works.

The idea is that this gambit:

  • Conveys that you are skilled in bed or that you are knowledgeable about women and sexuality

  • Communicates that you are a safe lover and have a good understanding of sex’s implications for women (slut-shaming, pregnancy risks, etc.)

  • May arouse her (if you choose to be more explicit)

If you score favorably on a few factors, this may be a good gambit. Only extensive field testing will give a clear answer about whether it works. If it works but not as well as you’d hope, see if there are ways you can tweak it.

Strategic Calibration in the Field with Girls

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By: Alek Rolstad

strategic calibrationWhen you are “in the field” with women, it pays to be able to adapt your girl-getting strategies on the fly. Savvy strategic calibration helps you do this.

Hey guys and welcome back.

My students seek coaching to learn new material and understand what material to use, when, and in what order. They leave knowing when and how to use all types of material in a seduction context.

It's essential information for a successful seducer. What differentiates the pro from the intermediate is that the pro has this snap that less experienced guys lack. And that snap comes from pristine timings.

Good timings come from using the right material at the right time. When you learn this, your material truly hits-you get 100 % of its effect. A mistimed use of material will make it come off much duller and you'll obtain weaker results. This type of calibration is meso calibration, which means knowing which techniques to use and when.

Pros typically deliver techniques smoothly and calibrated: not too much or too little of the good stuff. This falls into the micro calibration category.

The third dimension is micro calibration, which is choosing which overarching strategy to opt for. Did you select the right strategy for the venue tonight? Did you choose the right venue?

For more, read about the three dimensions in the first part of this series, here:

Strategic Calibration: 3 Levels of Seductive Adjustment

Today, I want to guide you through thinking about strategic calibration in-field. It may inspire you to find your own way of reflecting on calibration while out. Other experienced guys may think a bit differently from me, although I I believe their thoughts follow a similar pattern.

Below is an example of how I think about calibration in-field. It is only an example. I hope these examples inspire you.

Let's begin by reviewing a few questions to ask yourself in-field that will help you make better decisions.

3 Ways Bias Can Impede the Learning Process

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By: Alek Rolstad

identifying learning process biasesEverybody wants to learn to do better. Yet some of the ways we can think about learning actually impede our progress – even while we THINK they HELP!

In the past few weeks, we’ve talked about post-field diagnostics. This is when you analyze your performance after each outing to identify potential problems and come up with solutions. I also recommended that you take time to reflect on what you did right so you can learn from those experiences, too.

It’s easier said than done, so I am sharing one more post to help with your overall diagnostics and train you to become your own coach.

Today, I will cover three typical biases men face when troubleshooting their game and propose solutions.

These biases are very common. I bet that at least one of the three biases concerns you. It will help your game development if you know how and why it happens so that you do not fall for these biases.

First, let’s answer an important question that most may be asking. You will quickly see how this question refers to the biases we will uncover.

Post-Field Diagnostics: More Variables

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By: Alek Rolstad

more variables to consider in your post-field diagnosticsAs you analyze your outings once you are out of the field, don’t forget these additional variables: the social frame of the venue, your mood, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back.

For the last two weeks, we have been talking about post-field diagnostics. This process involves analyzing our night, to reconstruct and evaluate it to determine what we did, why we did it, and what impact it had. Our goal is to understand the events that occurred, identify what was done correctly and what wasn't, understand why they happened, and decide what steps to take in the future to improve the outcome.

In my first installment, I reviewed the basics of post-field diagnostics-what it is and when to do it. Last week, I covered the most critical factors: analyzing the interaction and the social context, and ruling out possible external factors.

It's important to master the material from the previous two weeks while keeping in mind that today's variables may still be relevant. These variables are overarching and add an additional layer of analysis that can take your post-field diagnostics to the next level.

The three variables are:

  1. #1 Venue culture and social dynamics - Did you fit in? Did you calibrate to the overall vibe and culture there?

  2. #2 Venue strategy - Did you apply the correct strategy for the venue?

  3. #3 Your mood - How did your mood affect your results and strategic choices?

Let's go through each variable.

Important Variables of Post-Field Diagnostics

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By: Alek Rolstad

key variables in post-field diagnosticsAfter a night (or day) out in the field, you need to review your outing to see what worked – and didn’t. Focus on these key variables for the biggest improvements.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Last week, I discussed post-field diagnostics, the assessment you conduct after an outing to pinpoint mistakes and highlight positive moves that help your interaction.

Why should you invest your time in post-field diagnostics? The answer is simple-it's a surefire way to maximize learning from each outing and boost your success rate. As you become better at post-field diagnostics, your progress will soar. You'll develop a profound understanding of pickup and seduction, women, and social dynamics over time. This knowledge will empower you to calibrate, leading to better performance in-field: you intuitively know what to do and when. You'll become adept at strategic calibration, macro-calibration, meso-calibration, and micro-calibration.

In a nutshell, you will become a better seducer.

Last time, we went through the purposes and perspectives of post-field assessment. We ended with a checklist:

  1. What happened? Re-visualize the outing and specific interactions.

  1. What did you do? Think about each interaction phase and what you did.

  1. How did she react? Good or bad? Did it work or not?

  1. What worked? And what didn't? What caused her to react poorly? What made her respond well?

  1. Why did it work, or why not? Why did she react positively or negatively to what you did?

  1. How could you have damage-controlled a poor reaction? How could you have made a good reaction better? Are there other moves you should have made?

  1. Is there anything you could have done differently?

  1. Were there external factors that may have affected the outcome? (More on this next week).

Today, I will expand this list. I will provide three dimensions to consider when using this assessment.

Learn from Your Outings: Doing a Post-Field Diagnostic

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By: Alek Rolstad

post-field diagnosticsWhen you go out to pick up girls, sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you fail. How do you extract the lessons from that? One way is via post-field diagnostics.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week, I discussed calibration and provided key questions you should ask in-field so that you understand how you are doing. Many of my students don't lack material, or an understanding of their material but they struggle with delivery, how to calibrate it, and, more importantly, how those pieces fit together.

Knowing what to do, why, and how to proceed after delivering your material will help you understand why she is reacting the way she is, and you'll know how to respond. You'll know which questions to ask next. This should be your priority if you are a beginner and truly want to learn pickup. Ditto for intermediate guys, who may already know what they are doing. Pros likely know the answers to these questions and understand what they are doing, but if you are a pro reading this blog, you already know that you are always looking for more tips to increase your skills.

It's wise to ask yourself how and what you are doing. The answers allow you to delve into pickup and seduction holistically.

And the way to do it is by post-field diagnostics.

What are post-field diagnostics? You go out, do your best, then think back and analyze what happened when you return home. Try to understand and decipher your interactions to further your understanding of the events you experienced and learn lessons from your outing.

We know that pickup and seduction are skills that require practice. And the more you practice, the better you become.

However, you can practice smart and practice unsmart. Practicing smart involves diagnosing and fine-tuning as you progress. Use each outing to your fullest potential as you learn and grow your skills by calibrating. This is what we will discuss today.

Before I begin, let me state that what I am about to share is not meant for beginners only. Beginners will benefit the most from this information, but all can gain something, including and especially intermediate guys facing a playboy plateau. Experienced guys all perform post-field diagnostics. They may have a different template, and that's fine. They can still find inspiration in the details I share below.

Calibrating Your Social Frame: Matching Venues & Individuals

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By: Alek Rolstad

social frame calibrationYour social frame is how well you fit into a given venue or environment. Do you match it – or do you seem out of place? The better you calibrate, the easier it becomes to excel socially.

Hey guys. Today I'll discuss social frame-the social dimension of seduction. Social frame is the underlying social meaning of the interaction between you and the people you interact with, given their sociocultural background. We can define social frame by one's sociocultural identity, expressed during interactions with others. This generates the social frame.

From my past article on social frame:

What is a social frame?

It is a term coined by master pick-up artist Gunwitch (Allen Reyes) in his product Seduction MMA (still one of the best products out there for advanced guys). My interpretation of his definition of a social frame is that it is a frame that covers everything related to the "social" or the "social aspect" in an interaction, or more precisely, in a seduction.

What Is a Social Frame?

Social frame in this context is about conveying that you appear, on a social level, as the type of guy a girl usually hooks up with.

This helps ease the opening process because a girl will be less hostile as you are a guy who is "okay" to talk with socially in her environment. It also smoothens the hooking process because you gain rapport: she is familiar with guys socially similar to you and realizes that men like you are cool and sexy. Most importantly, she will allow herself to have sex with you because it feels okay according to her social frame. Also, her friends will likely accept you if you match their social frame because they think you are high value and safe.

You can make women intrigued and interested in you without worrying about social frame, but it will be challenging - it is much easier when the social frame factor is in place. Arousing a girl when the social frame is off may lead to female state control (FSC), and she may back off despite being aroused to control her state. She will not allow herself to let go and get carried away because she is unsure whether you are a safe lover or a suitable man for her socially.

Social frame is crucial.

Over the years, I have neglected much discussion of social frame. I have covered subjects relating to it that communicate and amplify social frame, like:

But today, let's explore what you should know about social frame.

When to Stay in a Nightlife Venue vs. When to Go

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By: Alek Rolstad

stay in a nightlife venue or leave it?Some bars and nightclubs are worth remaining in. Some are not. To decide which, you must consider the variables: vibe, crowdedness, sex-ratio, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Decision-making is under-discussed and making the right decision while in a venue can make your seduction successful. A bad one can kill it. And you will often need to make quick decisions.

This post covers decision-making during night game: whether you should stay in the venue or leave. It's similar to choosing the wrong girl to commit to and seeing your results go downhill (see 4 Signs a Girl Can Be Picked Up THAT Night). Some decisions you make are crucial, like selecting the right venue (Picking Up Girls: Selecting the Right Venue). You typically choose a venue based on past positive experiences there. Perhaps you know the venue, the crowd, and how to run it, and you enjoy being there, but when you return another night, it's a less-than-positive experience, and you may need to venue change.

But the grass is always greener somewhere else, right? Sometimes, changing venues may not be the best idea, even if the venue is suboptimal that night.

So, today, we will discuss the different variables that should be considered when deciding whether to stay or change venues.

A few things to keep in mind before we begin:

  • If you leave a venue, do not come back that night. It looks bad, and you do not want to look bad at a venue where you are a regular.

  • Venue changing is easier if alternative venues are nearby, and they should be venues you know (as discussed in my recent post on finding venue clusters). Use this as an opportunity to find new venues.