Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Relationship Control and Female Domination


relationship controlHave you ever noticed that in almost every relationship… sooner or later, but often right from the start or at least very early… one of the two partners is more emotionally involved than the other? And that it's invariably the other of the two who retains the most relationship control?

That one often seems to be more invested, more in love, more interested… that there always seems to be a certain lack of balance?

This phenomenon is what psychologists call a “Passion Trap”, and it has been explained in great detail in Dean C. Delis’s excellent book about the topic, The Passion Trap: Where is Your Relationship Going?, which I think everybody should read in high school… it is THAT important to understanding relationships.

But in the meantime, let me give you a primer… and some insights we “professional seducers” have come to, that psychologists haven’t even written about yet.

Making Girls Laugh Means NOTHING


make a girl laughMany guys think that all women want a man who knows how to make a girl laugh… and that is not entirely false.

However, the importance of cracking jokes and making girls laugh when picking up on them is FAR overstated… and in fact, trying to do this can actually HURT you and make you LESS sexually attractive to women.

How can this be, though? So many women will tell you that a sense of humor is one of the most attractive traits a man can possess! On the surface, it doesn’t seem to make sense at ALL.

As so often is the case, however, the truth about what’s REALLY going on in the human mating game is not obvious; it’s counter-intuitive and hidden deep beneath the surface.

The good news: this means that you can drop most of what you used to do in an attempt to be funny on the approach. You can let it all go overnight and never worry about it again, once you understand the following truth:

Getting strong emotional reactions out of girls on the approach, making them all giggly and going out of your way to make a girl laugh, means nothing at all.

I’m sure you’re probably scratching your head right about now…

Stay with me, and let’s shed some light on this topic.

Book Excerpts: What to Screen Women For


screen womenIf you've been reading material on doing better with women for any length, you're probably very familiar with the need to screen women. For men starting out in improving their dating lives, this can be one of the strangest new elements to add - you're so used to trying to pass women's screens... and now you are going to screen them, instead?

For guys who've been around the block a few times, this isn't anything new, although you might still find yourself causing women to go into auto-rejection by screening too hard or on things the women you're talking to aren't able to pass your tests on.

Either way - whether you're a new guy who's just getting around to outfitting his screening arsenal, or you're a seasoned guy who'd like to find a few new ways to screen women you meet - this list of things to screen women on from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams is designed to help you come up with a host of different (and interesting) subjects to explore... and screen... the women you meet on.

Game Openers That'll Get You Girls


game openersIf you're keeping up on the latest in game openers, you're probably familiar with the now-canon advice to pay women a compliment when you approach them during the daytime… and, that actually works pretty well, sometimes.

I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of beautiful girls that way … a sincere compliment during the daytime is often unexpected, and women admire the courage it takes to pull it off.

Especially on a dead cold approach of a girl you’ve never met before – she will often be jealous. She might WISH she had that kind of courage, to be open enough to just meet strangers like that.

That said, there are a few serious disadvantages to this approach, which is why I’ve stopped doing it almost altogether.

How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part V


how to pick up girlsNote from Chase: this is the final post in our 5-part series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Check out Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV before reading this post, if you haven't already. In this last post in the series, Ricardus discusses how to take everything you've learned in the last four installments... and apply it to cleaning up in seduction.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

By now, you’re starting to get a pretty clear idea of how we can control our own emotions… completely internally, without having to rely on alcohol, “warm-up sets” or having company around.

Two questions remain: What kinds of states should you put yourself into… and how can you transfer these states to other people?

The truth is there are several different states that can work well to meet and attract women… different things work for different people. What’s always going to work best to attract feminine women, however, is the masculine vibe of a sexual man.

Book Excerpts: How to Challenge Women


challenge womenSomething that every nice guy has painfully experienced - one way or the other - is that when you don't challenge women, you also don't attract women. Challenge is a necessary, integral part of building and maintaining respect and desire for you in women.

But what is challenge? It's easy to understand why most guys get this wrong. It's hard to pin the concept of "being a challenge to women" down when you're not sure where the line is. What if you challenge her too much and lose her? And while this does happen - it's called auto-rejection, and it happens more than most men realize - if you're hitting women's no-challenge flags too often, you need to get that one fixed first before you start worrying too much about whether you're going too far.

Can't fix the problem of going too far if you usually don't go far enough in the first place... right?

You need to train yourself, if you don't do it already, to challenge girls.

How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part IV


how to pick up girlsNote from Chase: this is Part IV in our series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Be sure to read Part I, Part II, and Part III first before reading this post, if you haven't already.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Anyway, that's the science side of state control.

Now you may think, well – these are great ideas, but is it really possible to control your state of mind at every moment? After all, we think tens of thousands of thoughts per day.

Actually, you really only need to put yourself into the state you want when you start any activity… whatever state will be the most resourceful one for that specific task.

If you can then get into the activity and get positive feedback from it, the state will reinforce itself. If it does drop, you simply notice the change in your emotional state and repeat the focus exercise… and correct your physiology along with it.

Keep doing it.

How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part III


how to pick up girlsNote from Chase: this is Part III of V in our series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Be sure to read How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part I and How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part II first before reading this post, if you haven't already.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We last discussed how if you want to be able to pick up girls CONSISTENTLY, you've got to have INTERNAL state control... we can't just leave something as important as the way we FEEL to chance.

Since we cannot influence our emotional brain directly and just will ourselves into feeling an emotion, we need to create the emotions we want through the other two parts of our brain… our logical and physical brains will be our detour.

We can control the neocortex by changing our focus… and we can control our reptile brain by controlling our physiology. If we do both, our mammalian brain, i.e. our emotions, will align with the other two.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dance Floor Game


dance floor gameIn the comments section under the post on "Get Girls in Bed," a reader writes in asking about dance floor game:

Hey Chase,

Been reading your blog for the past couple of months now, and I think there's less than 10 articles to go until I have read everything on your website.

Awesome stuff to say the least, I feel like I've hit a goldmine after reading your pieces.

From your writings I can see you are not the biggest fan of seducing women in clubs since it's loud and not conducive to many aspects of seduction. However, I keep seeing guys who do pretty well in clubs. Can you write a piece on gaming in clubs? Particularly what to do on the dance floor when conversation isn't really an option?

Thank you.

Best regards,

A

In fact, as I commented in my response to A, I do like nightclubs for meeting women - I've hands down spent more time honing my abilities with women in them and have met more women at bars and nightclubs than anywhere else - but I find them to be some of the most difficult places to do well with women for most guys, the environments in them are the most stacked against a man you'll see, and they're among the worst places to look for girlfriend-quality women you can go to... so I tend to recommend against them for guys when giving advice.

But, for straight training purposes, for coating your skin with a layer of steel and developing rock-solid frame control, and for quick pick ups once you've got your vibe and your process down right, clubs are hard to beat.

A's question is one of the first one's that come to mind when you start thinking about nightclubs though, and it's one we haven't discussed in any detail on this site yet: what do you do about dance floor game?

Book Excerpts: Get Girls in Bed (Without a Bed)


get girls in bedIn response to the "Move Girls" post, a reader named Anon Guy comments:

Chase, hey,

This is an awesome post and I am religiously reading your down-to-earth blog.

I have a dilemma of not owning my own pad (yet), and if we propose that it is a zero-sum game, and that it all boils down to sleeping with her for the two to become lovers, do you have any practical advise on guys who do not own a convenient, private space to make the magic happen?

I guess back seat of my car could work, but it's not really private, and will probably be a million times harder to pull that off.

But based on countless posts I've read so far from you, it seems like the only way is to bed her some way or another.

Let me know. Thanks!

In fact, you don't necessarily need a bed to get girls in bed. You can do it without one... sometimes, not having a bed even makes it easier.

How can this be so?