Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Barriers to Entry in Pickup and How They Affect Success


We’ve discussed various different avenues men use (and you can tap) to meet new women on here in the past:

pickup barriers to entry

I favor cold approach personally, but you can certainly make social circle or workplace dating or online work, and in fact that’s how most men meet their women.

And that’s what I want to talk about today: how you meet women and barriers to entry to those avenues.

Because in a lot of ways, meeting girls is just like doing business, and barriers to entry are no exception; the lower these are, the higher the competition, and the tinier the rewards.

The Look: Make Your Eye Contact Piercing


One of the most powerful means of communicating with others nonverbally is by calling up your most piercing, incisive eye contact.

I sometimes also call this the “death stare” or the “predatory look.” It’s the ability to stare into someone else and make her feel as though you’re staring directly into her soul... sizing her up... preparing to DO something to her, though she can only guess at WHAT.

piercing eye contact

This is one of those things that can be extremely effective wielded properly – it can shoot sexual tension through the roof, make you physically intimidating even to men twice your size, and communicate “I mean business” to anyone and everyone like nothing else really can (although it can also send you directly to creepy guy land if you aren’t careful how you deploy it).

Early on in life, I learned that not everyone had this ability – in fact, few did. A high school English teacher of mine described it as “the ability to stare at someone and put fear into his heart just with a look.”

But you can also use it to put warmth, arousal, inspiration, or just about any other emotion into another person’s heart as well.

That same high school English teacher of mine described this as something you either have, or you don’t... but I’ve heard that said about LOTS of things I’ve gone on to learn or teach, and I’d be surprised if this is any different.

I’ve never tried to teach this before because I didn’t really know how to teach it... at least for me personally, it’s something I’ve always had (from the day I was born, according to the stories).

However, in the interest of giving it a good crack – because it’s an awesome power if you can attain it – I’d like to try.

Her Sexual Availability? Vital to YOUR Sexual Success


I think that one of the most under-discussed topics in seduction is sexual availability.

What is sexual availability? Sexual availability is not only whether or not a girl has other men in her life (which she does 90% of the time), but also the extent to which she is satisfied with consistently having sex with one or more of these men.

sexual availability

It doesn’t matter if you have the tightest game. It doesn’t matter if you’re an extremely high-value man. If you don’t understand sexual availability, you will experience much more frustration and confusion toward women than is at all necessary.

So today I’m going to outline and explain this concept, and more importantly: delve into why it’s important.

How to Be Social and Lead a Social Group


Setting a good foundation socially can set you up to stumble across receptive girls and make the process of meeting new ones almost automatic.

social group

Most guys who are great with women eventually develop this skill as a result of developing their attitude and then naturally falling into it, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take away some good things at your current level by becoming aware of some foundations of sociability.

I’m going to go over quite a bit here in bullet form, and then I’m going to give you a bit of a run down on why the points are key. Some might seem really common sense, others less, but overall you want to look at the big picture and measure in your own mind how you are addressing these points now and how that compares to something more ideal.

Keeping It Simple for Planning Great Dates


I can recall with distinct clarity a time in my life when I thought it was a must that you go all out when planning a first date. I’d heard it from my mother, read it in magazines and books, saw it on television, and even heard it from the horse’s mouth. Yes, even the women I’d known as friends or romantic interests were telling me I needed to pony up and make that first date as extravagant as possible!

simple dates

However, the real way to make a great first impression has absolutely nothing to do with the activity itself or the amount of money you spend – it’s all about:

  1. Your fundamentals, such as your style of clothing and voice and body language

  2. The actual interaction itself, your conversation skills, and how well you are able to lead her

  3. Your ability to hit escalation windows and pick up on opportunities to move things forward

So as Ricardus taught us, you really can go “From Street to Bed in a Snap”, and that most certainly does not require an 8-hour date at an amusement park or a $100 dinner.

You're Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls


hottest coolest girlsWhen I first moved to California, I set up a number of dates in advance (thanks, online dating!) so that I’d be able to hit the ground running when I got there.

My first date I set up for one week after I’d arrived (I wanted a little time to unpack and make my place presentable first... plus, after a 5-day cross-country drive, I really just wanted to settle in for a few days and see some friends in town before I dialed up on girls).

When that first date showed up one week later, I was floored – she’d looked good in her pictures, but in person she was absolutely smoking hot. I fell instantly in love. But she never quite reciprocated those emotions to me, and when we ended up back at my apartment at the end of the date and I tried to kiss her, she rejected this, told me she was uncomfortable, and left.

My second date was the next night. For this date, I drove about 30 minutes north of town and met her near where she lived. She met me wearing a white, modest wedding-style dress (unbeknownst to me, she’d apparently just gotten married – when I saw it, I thought, “Is that a wedding dress? Nah... there’s no way,” but apparently, it was), sipping a plastic cup of champagne. She was very cute, with a quite attractive face and waist-length hair, but I wasn’t super impressed at the time. We slept together a few hours later, and I was pretty happy then, because not only did she have a pretty face and great hair, but her body was absolutely killer. I hadn’t really realized it when I saw her in her modest (wedding) dress.

The girl from the first date I saw a few more times over the years, and only years later did I realize that face-wise, she wasn’t really that cute. And body-wise, well, she was thin by American standards, but not so by international ones, and her breasts were non-existent.

She just dressed and acted sexy. Bright colors, big sunglasses that left more of her face to the imagination, alternately suggestive and aloof behavior, like what we talked about in “Elegance, Sexiness, and Average, Normal People.”

Yet, she’d been the one I was excited about, while the one who was the whole package I’d merely thought “meh” at the time about.

And I see so many guys doing this all the time, getting caught up on the wrong girls, and then getting bitter because of how those girls treat them.

It’s kind of a clown show that we all fall victim to.

Anatomy of a Failed Date


I found myself seated several evenings ago next to a young couple who were obviously on a first date. The girl was thin and okay-looking, though she’d lopped her hair off into a not-very-attractive medium-length boy cut, while the man was tall and lanky with a somewhat awkward accent I couldn’t quite place, but otherwise not too bad. She was dressed more fashionably than he was, her in a frilly white button down shirt, while he seemed to just be wearing a standard t-shirt or polo shirt.

My ears perked up because it was obvious from the moment I sat down that the guy had some game; what I’m always curious of in these types of situations, though, is, “How much?”

As it turned out, the guy had just enough game to get the girl extremely excited about him... before running the date straight into a concrete wall.

failed date

And that’s what I want to talk about today, because the things this guy did right and the ones he did wrong are something I see lots of newer guys making in their dates and interactions, and ones I certainly made a lot myself early on.

Because it often isn’t the “grabbing her interest and exciting her” part guys fail at; it’s all the stuff that comes after that.

Styled for Summer Contest


We’ve teamed up with SexyStyleForJoe.com to give you an exclusive opportunity to get styled for the summer (and beyond!). Once lucky winner will win a private styling session with SexyStyleForJoe.com’s style-master Darius, who will personally advise you on how to upgrade your look.

styled for summer

What Causes Infidelity – And How to Handle It


what causes infidelityInfidelity can be one of the most difficult things that can happen to you as a man.

Sometimes you feel it coming but try not to admit it to yourself; other times, it seems to come completely out of left field.

Women are such largely emotional creatures, and if you don’t know how to manage those emotions, you could very well find yourself in a world of hurt.

But what causes infidelity in the first place?

Today I’m going to talk about the root causes of infidelity, share a painfully valuable story from my past, and talk about how to spot infidelity before it happens as well as how to handle it if it does happen to you.

How to Use Sexual Qualification to Prime Women for Sex


As promised, I will now share a practical technique built on the theory of “sexual prizing”.

sexual qualification

Before I begin however, I would like to mention that this post is rather advanced. This is good news for our more experienced readers, but for those of you who are beginners/intermediates, I highly recommend you read my three previous posts that build up to this one:

These posts will work as pillars for the technique I am about to share with you. You will soon see “why” and “how” this all applies.

Although in theory reading these posts beforehand isn’t required, I very much recommend it. Reading them will give you a better, deeper, and broader understanding of the concept I am about to share with you.

Finally, keep in mind that this is an advanced (yet very efficient) technique, which means that having some in-field experience with women might be necessary in order to be able to pull this off properly. Still, if you don’t have that experience, read this post, and try it out and maybe fail anyway – it just might make you better. What I am really saying though is that you should not be too hard on yourself if you are a freshman with women and this doesn’t work as you’d expected.

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