Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: The Friend Zone Date

friend zone date

Sometimes you’re out and about and you meet a girl and take a number from her.

And for whatever reason, she isn’t all that attracted to you.

Yet for whatever reason, she still gives you her phone number.

And then for whatever reason, she agrees to meet up with you.

But you can sense this one is going through the motions.

It might not quite be the friend zone yet, but it’s pretty darn close. And she doesn’t even know you.

So what do you do... just meet up with her anyway and hope you can change her mind?

Well, you CAN do that... but if you don’t have a game plan for it, it’s like opting for a few games of Black Jack when you don’t really understand how to play Black Jack.

There’s some chance you walk away with winnings, but most of the time you’re only going to waste your time, probably going to waste your money, and if your ego’s wrapped up in it you may well take a self-esteem hit too.

So let’s set out some strategy for those “friend zone” dates, and talk:

  • Prevention,
  • Treatment, and
  • Cure

Old Fashioned Sex Symbols vs. Modern Male Stars: What’s the Difference?

male sex symbols

I previously said (in this post) my next article would be “How to Be an Alpha Provider”... however, I’m going to switch things up today. Today’s article is about sex symbols: those of the past and those of today. And we’ll get back to the alpha providers again next week. Onwards, then.

Today’s article comes in response to a question from Byron on my article about self-cultivation regarding my preference for older male sex symbols over the more current ones Hollywood has to offer. Here’s what Byron had to say:

Hey,
I’ve recently come across several comments where you reference Sean Connery and Harrison ford as the epitome of raw sexiness. I was wondering if you could elaborate on this and why not the plethora of modern sex symbols, ie what makes them so different? Or if you could write an article on their appeal or a series on famous seducers/ role models I think that would be very interesting and relevant. Again just suggestions, I realize you are very busy. Thank you for this site!

That’s a fantastic question. Why do I recommend the older guys more than the newer guys? I had a few reasons, but part of me kind of wondered if maybe I just had some kind of nostalgia-bias when this subject’s come up in the past... maybe I’m simply guilty of thinking older is better.

Fortunately, this article’s forced me to really get down to nuts and bolts, and in the process of writing it, I learned a lot. Let’s dive in.

Think about your old school, old fashioned male sex symbols. Men like:

  • Gary Cooper
  • Cary Grant
  • James Garner
  • Sean Connery
  • James Dean
  • Harrison Ford

Compare them to the sex symbols of modern cinema. Men like:

  • Brad Pitt
  • Ryan Gosling
  • George Clooney
  • Ian Somerhalder

Do you notice anything?

I like all the guys in both of these lists. All are masters of their crafts, and there are buckets you can learn from watching the facial expressions, body language, and little nonverbal tics of each, as well as studying the way each man uses his voice and his overall demeanor.

However, there’s a clear difference between these two groups of men (that span about two generations each)... a large enough difference that while I personally suggest you take the time to study all of these men, when it comes to my own preferences, the only ones I ever find myself wanting to model outright are the ones from before.

And I sat down today and the one question on my mind was, “How do I best explain this difference?”

6 Basic Steps Every Guy Who Wants to Pick Up Women Must Know

pickup basics

Last time, we discussed how one should proceed to learn the art of seduction; how I would do things if I were a total beginner again. Today we will discuss the things I would recommend you to focus on if you are new – these are the things I would work on if I had to do the learning process all over again.

There is loads of information on this website and it can be very confusing to many newer readers to actually figure out what should be their priorities. I will list what I consider basics – or foundations – in this post. I will briefly explain the different elements, and will also provide links to more in depth articles throughout.

Now what will be discussed in this article are BASICS, but that doesn’t mean the material provided here is “beginner material”, quite the contrary, this article covers things that:

  • Are the foundation to most other (more advanced) material out there – without many of the concepts covered in this article, pulling off more fancy stuff will not work well unless you have the foundations in check

  • Many of the concepts in this article will be enough to get you laid.

  • The concepts covered are things that most seducers (even advanced seducers) will have to apply in most situations. I will not go as far as to say the concepts apply to every scenario, but not far from it.

Now, this post will not cover elements such as style (and grooming), body language, and basic attractive attitudes. Although it is recommended to have those things in check for best results, this post will focus on “outer game” – i.e., techniques and practical elements of seduction. Again, this is NOT an in depth post about each of the concepts, just a list with some quick info.

The six basics we will cover are:

  1. Opening

  2. Hooking in

  3. Isolation

  4. Escalation

  5. Extraction

  6. Persistence

Let us begin with an obvious key element one should focus on.

Why You Never Hear from “Alpha Providers” in the Manosphere

alpha provider

Why do you never hear from what the Internet’s dubbed ‘alpha providers’ – men who keep the pants on in their relationships, even over the long-term?

The morose tales of men who have become ‘beta providers’, who have gone through the ‘betaization process’... men who’ve lost the drive, strength, and ambition of their youths and become punching bags for their women... these men’s tales are all over the Internet.

Yet, you hear nary a peep from their opposites, those men in provider roles who remain the captains of their ships.

Is it because they’re quiet?

Or, because they do not exist?

A commenter named Insidious Sid, weighing in on Alek’s post on sexual economics, remarks:

This “lover turned provider” idea is the biggest load of blue-pill nonsense ever to hit the internet. Once she “has you”, no matter how alpha you were, you now have provider status. She “conquered” you, and now she will be sexually attracted to OTHER alpha males who she has yet to conquer. Women like conquest just as much as men do. Men get bored after they conquer the trophy wife and cheat on amazing looking women – and most men think “Wow, I’d never do that.” Well, he’ll never get the chance. Conversely, the female will cheat on even a high value male and people will gasp “But he’s such a high value male, why would she cheat on / divorce / ruin a good man?” Same reason. Once a person, man or woman, has a member of the opposite sex in the “co-committed long-tern relationship (tm)” this is a whole new power dynamic. One part of “red pill theory” I think has it wrong is that you can “game your own wife” and alpha-up and keep the other alphas out the door. It’s a great theory, but my theory is once she gets the ring on your finger and you sign up for the house, mortgage, the full meal family deal, you also sign up for divorce, alimony and child support. Guys, let’s be real. Decent, handsome and successful lawyers, doctors and athletes are going through the divorce and family law meat grinder just like regular men are, albeit likely in smaller numbers. The point is the institution of marriage and being a provider is a sour deal for a man of ANY status. He’s got more to lose than gain regardless of his position in the mating arena.

*REAL* Alphas have nothing to DO with ANY of that crap. They bed the top females and move on. They’re not there to pay, they’re there to play.

There is no such thing as an Alpha Provider. He’s the mythical creature all women want, and they know he *does not exist* so they try to convert Mr. Alpha into Mr. Alpha/Beta hybrid and what happens? She will ultimately fail. She will be the subject of many a rom com – the Cinderella trying to turn the successful handsome worry free aloof guy into the exact same man, but also loyal, sweet, caring... think a shirtless Matthew McConaughey... rocking a swaddled infant in the baby room he just painted. This is the fantasy of every woman alive. Alpha looks, money and prowess with the servitude and commitment and *caring* of the beta provider. This is mother nature’s cruel joke on women – letting them think in their hamster-driven minds that such a feat is possible.

Alpha males can become beta providers. Beta providers can stop *CARING* and *PROVIDING* for women/children, get in shape, get fashionable, get a better crib, get some game... but perhaps they are just physiologically wired to provide. Perhaps they will never *naturally* exude the kind of confidence a real natural-born Alpha does.

Interesting and well written article, but I think it’s got some major blue-pill philosophy in there, stuff that’s already been disproved in the field, so to speak.

Another way of putting what Sid’s weighed in here with is like so:

You only have two (2) options-

  1. Be the single bachelor forever, and forever bounce from girl-to-girl
  2. Take a girl long-term and become a doormat

Sounds depressing. You’re either trapped perpetually in hedonism, which is fun until it gets stale a decade or so in (usually sooner), or... you’re somebody’s doormat.

Well, spoiler, I’m going to tell you that’s a whole lot of hooey... but so are the mainstream ideology of “the man’s REALLY in charge, even if the woman bosses him around a bit” and the pickup ideology of “you have to game your wife”.

Instead, I’m going to tell you about something else. Namely, being a legitimate alpha provider.

3 Keys to Winner Mentality: Prediction, Confidence, and Harmony

winner mentality

What are the differences between how a beneficial, robust mental model works, versus how robust-yet-harmful mental models (like victim mentality) or non-robust mental models yet clung-to models work?

I’ve been analyzing mental models a lot recently. In particular, how people can have extremely different, yet robust or at least unyielding mental models, and how each different kind of mental model produces different kinds of results.

For instance:

  • Victim mentality is actually an extremely robust mental model. Individuals who view themselves as victims – and such individuals are extremely common across societies, of every sex, race, age, and creed – continually find reason to view themselves as the recipients of misfortune, find justification for their models, and receive feedback from the world that reinforces rather than disabuses them of their models

  • Conversely, what I’d call winner, or success-driven, individuals also have extremely robust mental models. Individuals who view themselves as successes tend to be quite good at finding ways to pull victory out of defeat, at avoiding situations where they would suffer setbacks, and don’t spend much time dwelling on setbacks, other than from a problem-solving mentality. As a result, they spend little time in defeat and quickly dust themselves off even after most reasonably catastrophic failures

But it’s not just someone’s victim/winner orientation. It’s also the reliability of his predictions.

For instance, someone who sees himself as a victim has confidence in his mental model because his predictions are either correct, or he explains them away if they aren’t. He sees a pretty girl and says, “Well, she’ll reject me, of course,” and if he approaches and she does reject him, he says, “See? I knew it. Women always reject me.” If instead she’s friendly, he’ll be inclined to explain it away: “She must’ve been drunk” or “She doesn’t really like me... she was probably just being polite.”

Both victims and winners make predictions and their predictions either come true, or they attempt to explain to themselves (and others) why in this case the prediction failed, yet the failure does not violate their mental model overall. This makes these models robust.

Obviously, if they receive enough feedback to crash the model, they’ll be forced to reassess. But most people adopt models that seem to justify their experiences, and avoid experiences that may invalidate their models.

However, prediction is only the surface here – largely because it doesn’t give us a way to qualify the differences between different mental models (like victim and winner mentalities). So we need to add two more pieces.

I propose any robust, success-oriented mental model is comprised of three (3) bits:

  • Predictive accuracy,
  • Confidence in the model, and
  • Harmonious choices and outcomes

The 3 Biggest Sexual Issues that Stop Men Being Good in Bed

sexual issue

Note from Chase: this is a guest post from David Carreras, a sex coach who goes by the nickname Mr. Manpower. His topic today is men’s three (3) biggest sexual issues... and what you may do to overcome them. Here’s David.


I am not considered the most attractive of men.

While my facial features have been characterized as “handsome”, I’m only 5’7”, and I am bald as well (luckily, I’m a good dresser, and at least somewhat muscular). Not exactly the perfect example of tall, dark, and handsome.

However, thanks to powerful sexual knowledge I’ve amassed over the years, I now know I’m able to get the job done when I bring a woman home, I can approach the sexiest of women anywhere, and deep down, I know that I can control that sexy goddess all with the push of a button (literally).

All of this makes me intriguing to women... they often wonderwhat does he have... why is he so sure of himself?... there’s something there”.

I wasn’t always like this, though... as a matter of fact, I used to suffer pretty badly from performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and having no idea how to get a woman off.

Luckily, the following techniques helped me gain control in each of these areas, giving some backbone to my “game”.

Introducing GuysChase.com

guyschase.com

GirlsChase.com opened up for business in 2008. We pretty quickly revolutionized the digital dating advice scene by providing a place filled with condensed curated content where men could come and learn everything they needed to know about doing better with the opposite sex.

Over the years, we’ve covered things like how to text girls, how to ask women out, how to reach intimacy on the first date, and even how to make girls orgasm (and pretty much half the lay reports I read on the forum now mention a guy using adapted missionary and the girl cumming a few times, it seems like).

However, at this point, most of the low-hanging fruit is gone. All the big subjects are covered, and there’s not much more the other authors or I can say that we haven’t already discussed. A lot of it at this point is covering nuances and basics and more niche subjects, with the occasional “Why didn’t we cover that years ago” topic popping up here and there.

There’s one major area we’ve had folks asking us about for years though, that we’ve never covered, and that’s this: dating advice for women.

So, us being the perpetual wanderers that we are, that’s where we’re going next.

Tactics Tuesdays: Have Her Tell You Her Logistics in 5 Minutes

screen her logistics

I recently counseled one of our senior members from the discussion board on how to rapidly find out a woman’s logistics in the first few minutes of conversation.

In this member’s case, he meets women as he goes about his day in the city, making street stops or chatting up girls in coffee shops whenever one catches his eye.

His problem is he lives outside the city, and often faces resistance from women having them agree to come out where he lives. In fact, he’s usually only able to do this with women who are already sold on him – which means he ends up leaving lays on the table... lays with women he could get, if he had better (in-city) logistics.

My recommendation was for him to begin to screen women for logistics immediately on approach them; that way he can explore which women to set dates up with (or even go for the pull then and there) in ways that let him take her back to her place... instead of trying to have her commute to his.

To help him do this, I shared with him how I screen for logistics early on – and in this article, I’ll share that with you too.

The Right Way to Use Defiance to Make Progress with Girls

defiance

If you’re reading a site like Girls Chase, there’s a fairly good chance you’re a rather defiant, rebellious, countercultural individual to some extent:

  • You’ve got the whole of mainstream dating advice telling you to ‘just be yourself’ and wish upon a star and the right girl will come along if you just wait long enough, and any girl who doesn’t like you, well, that’s her problem, because you’re perfect as-is.

  • You’ve got legions of nice guys out there swamping the radio with the tragic tales of the women who’ve cheated on them and broken their hearts, and drowning the theaters and television stations with romantic comedies that depict them losing women again and again to the bad boy until finally, one day, the girl realizes she’s tired of hooking up with sexy bad boys and wants someone who isn’t going to break her heart for the long-term, and there’s Mr. Nice Guy, ready to sweep up the pieces of her broken heart and try to heal and fix her with marriage.

  • You’ve got women themselves telling you they don’t even like all those sexy guys they have sex with, and you should just stay the way they are and don’t change one bit. Don’t worry, someday when she’s done with the bad boys, you may yet get your shot with her.

  • You’ve got the downers, who want you to know it’s impossible to get girls if you don’t have movie star looks, investment banker income, basketball player height, and the right racial background.

  • You’ve even got books like The Game telling you you just need to memorize a few tricks, learn a few routines, and then basically repeat this script with every girl, and the flood gates will open up.

Yet, somehow, you’ve ended up here, studying the nuances of various tactics, fundamentals, and abilities, and coming at doing better with women in a systematic, skill-based way, where you mix experimentation and good old fashioned elbow grease to achieve the results you desire with women (whatever those results may be).

It’s pretty obvious you’re a defiant personality type... or at the very least, you’ve stumbled in here and are feeling defiance toward many of those other people and sources of information telling you to do things this way or that.

That brings me to today’s cautionary tale: be careful whom you’re defying.

Because defiance, improperly aimed, can be as big a handicap as it can a helper.