Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Going Out to Meet Women Even When You Don’t Want to

meet women routineWhen I first started lifting weights regularly, there were plenty of days I did not want to go to the gym at all - days I felt sick, days I felt tired, days I was down in the dumps. But I made myself go anyway, because I had committed myself to it, and I knew that if I started skipping days at the gym, I'd skip more and more, and whatever gains I actually made would be slow and, likely, negligible.

So, I went, time and again, when I did not want to go at all. The feeling after was always triumphant - I had vanquished my emotions and managed to achieve in spite of myself. And six months after I'd begun working out three times a week, every week, I was back in front of a bunch of my old colleagues, and everyone was impressed at how much muscle I'd put on.

I hadn't even realized; because I saw myself in the mirror every day, I hadn't seen the transformation. All I'd seen was that I kept lifting heavier and heavier amounts of weight.

Going out to meet women is just like this; the important thing is not being "ready" to go out and meet women - the important thing is going out and meeting women.

But a lot of men have trouble doing this.

Scare Tactics and the Illusion of Control in Life and Relationships

scare tacticsIn "The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View", Zac wanted to know why 'scare tactics' within relationships don't work:

It will be cool to have an article on "Scare tactics", and why it doesn't work when there is no genuine honest and open communication.

The question was posed in the context of styles of leadership and how to stop playing games in a relationship – which are actually two topics with a whole lot in common.

In this article, you're going to learn what a scare tactic is, why people use them, why they're ineffective in the long term and what techniques you can use to avoid them to have longer, more fruitful relationships, romantically and platonically.

First though, let's get an understanding of scare tactics.

How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men

girl looking for menImagine yourself walking down a crowded street, teeming with people about you on every side. Or, making your way through a jam-packed bar, or a subway station crammed with people.

Somewhere in that street, bar, or station there is a girl who would love nothing more than to meet you... you, or some other attractive, savvy man who isn't going to hem and haw, but who, rather, is going to take her by the hand and lead her gallantly off on an electric, romantic, and titillating adventure.

How do you spot a girl looking for men like this?

As you're doubtless conscious of, women give off a number subtle signals that they are receptive to meeting new men - and sometimes to your advances in particular.

However, most men are terrible at reading these signals... and most women go home frustrated, empty-handed, and bothered about life's unreliability in providing men who can recognize what they want and give it to them.

But if you knew how to read these signs... if you could pick a woman out of a crowd, point to her, and easily say to yourself, "That girl wants to meet a man right now," you would have a super power few men possess, and one that many women wished men possessed.

That super power, as it were, is within your reach.

9 Terrible Excuses Men Use to Avoid Meeting Great Women

avoid meeting womenEver see a really beautiful woman that you’d love to meet, walking down the sidewalk… she looks like your ideal, and maybe you even imagine how well the two of you would probably hit it off together, and the laughter and smiles and romance and adventures you might share in an unwritten future… and then you just let her walk by, past you without a word, off into the sunset and into being no more than a memory to you, never to know what might have been?

There is an old adage in the seduction community that goes, “It’s better to be rejected than live with regret.”

Yet so many men invent what they might not even identify as excuses for saving their feelings and remaining in a state of inaction… and fear. Today I’m going to put a magnifying glass on these weak excuses and why you should throw them out the window to make substantial changes in your life.

How to Take Girls Home with You

Meeting women in bars or the mall or on the street is great, and going on dates is lots of fun.

But sooner or later, at some point or another, you’ve got to bring women home with you, or nothing is ever going to happen.

take a girl home

If I had to sum up how to take girls home with you in one sentence it would be “keep the good times rolling”. Never get pushy with women; make it easy by taking it easy!

There are many finer points to this that guys who are beginners tend to miss - things like not freaking girls out by being all over the map, by not making the ask home a high pressure situation, and more.

If you know what these points are and you know your way around them, you can get yourself taking girls home easily, consistently, and in stress-free ways.

Why Madonna/Whore is Intimately Linked with the West

madonna whore complexA few days ago, Peter had an article up on deprogramming yourself from Madonna/whore complex, a form of black and white thinking in which there are good girls - Madonnas - who aren't all that interested in sex, and there are bad girls - whores - who love nothing more than a good pounding by just about anyone.

As his focus was more on the deprogramming side of things - so that you might optimize your sex life and dealings with women in a Western, post Madonna/whore type world - Peter only scraped the surface on where this mental model of female sexuality originates in his article, and I'd like to expand greatly upon both the background of Madonna/whore and the purpose that it serves here.

This is going to be a ride through some of the stranger and less-discussed aspects of human sexual history and civilization, so... I hope you're prepared for a lengthier piece.

Threesome How-To: Step-by-Step to Get Two Girls

As promised in Chase’s announcement 2 weeks ago about the updates on Girls Chase (especially about the new writers), here is my detailed report, from meet to threesome, about a very recent event that I feel deserves to be covered.

Chase mentioned to me high interest in how to get threesomes from some of the readers here. It’s my belief that sharing a detailed lay report on threesomes might not only be an exciting and fun way for me to kick off my series on these, but also very educational, as you can get an overall idea of how you can pull this off. Throughout this report, I will breakdown everything I do, show the stages and explain the overall vibe of the interaction.

threesome how to

This article chronicles events that took place a few weeks ago. I noted down every step in the interaction immediately the morning after while it was all still fresh, though the explanations of “why things are so-and-so” and what works and why I fleshed out later on.

On with the report.

Leaving Madonna/Whore Behind: A Deprogramming

In my article on sexual awakenings, Wallflower left a comment wanting to know how she could help a guy to drop his Madonna/whore complex:

Just a question for the ladies ;) How would you get a guy to drop his M/W complex? Is it possible? What would be the strategy here?

madonna whore

While I touched on the M/W complex briefly, I think the beliefs that frame the current Western feeling on sexual expression, particularly where women are involved, is something that is worth further examination.

To help rid yourself of your sexually limiting beliefs and any vestige of Madonna/Whore complex, a perusal of sexual lore through particular historical examples can be massively beneficial.

Learning about it will bolster your skills with women by helping you to set liberal sexual frames with genuine conviction and an understanding of why they work.

Additionally, gaining a more objective understanding of sexuality can also be of great benefit to any relationships you find yourself in, monogamous or polygamous.

And as stated in my previous article, a relaxed attitude to women's sexuality is something that is crucial to help any girl to a sexual awakening... so that the both of you can have mind-blowing sex.

Don’t Get Too Attached to a Girl Before the Sale

A few years ago, I wrote "Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls" for all the guys out there going crazy over That One Special Girl. I've been there; I understand it.

It's a tough place to be.

I was reminded of one of the essential elements of this not long ago when coaching a mentee on sales. She was new to it, and had had a string of successes, but then, suddenly, ended up working with a customer who was incredibly difficult: he kept changing his mind, kept calling her and asking to see more product, kept haggling endlessly on price.

And as this went on, as my friend plowed more and more time into this one customer, it became a more and more emotionally charged thing for her, and a bigger and bigger deal.

She also came down more and more on price, and became more and more willing to sell him something for almost nothing.

Soon it became all she thought about. She ate, slept, and breathed this customer.

Eventually the sale fell though, and it sent her into a rage. How could this customer have wasted so much of her time and not even given her anything?

attached to a girl

I was reminded of one of the most important lessons of both sales and seduction then: don't over-invest in any one prospect, and don't get too attached.

Get Introduced to Girls and Play the Game on 'Easy Mode'

Various readers have asked variations on the following questions on this site before, and it's the question I'd like to address today:

If you want girls chasing you, how do you open? Isn't the very act of walking up to a girl and starting a conversation with her chasing itself?

The answer to that last question is "yes", you are chasing women at the outset of your interactions with them, at least a little bit, although if you know what you're doing, much of the time you can mollify the effects of this early chasing by coming in very smooth and somewhat aloof, and quickly changing the dynamic so that the girl herself is soon chasing you (which is a much more pleasant, exciting, and productive dynamic for both you and her than the alternative is).

However, there is one way to meet new women in which you can start out in the "chased" position, provided you are out with one or more friends who either know the women you want to meet already, or have a good handle on opening and being received well: that is, to get introduced.

get introduced

I've long made use of getting introduced to women both to my own advantage (to have girls falling into my lap) as well as to help out my friends or, sometimes, students, back when I used to train in-field (to throw girls into the friend's or student's lap).

This is one of those things that I rarely hear anyone talk about, and I'm not sure why, because it's like pick up on "easy mode."

And if you're not taking advantage of introductions... well, let's have a look at what you've been missing out on.