Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Does Confidence = Success? Actually... No.


The Daily Mail had a piece on U.S. college students' confidence levels shooting sky high while their actual competence and performance in the areas of their confidence dipped to new lows a few days back (the original article's here).

confidence success

The article mentioned research finding that that more and more young people were carrying bigger and bigger life goals, and more and more of them were falling short and slipping into depression and anxiety disorders.

It quoted psychologist Jean Twenge as saying "You need to believe that you can go out and do something but that's not the same as thinking that you're great," and, "An intervention that encourages [students] to feel good about themselves, regardless of work, may remove the reason to work hard."

I thought it was a fantastic article for one reason: the clear differentiation between confidence and success.

I've always found the, "I just need to tell myself I can do it, and then I can do it!" approach to "achieving things" to be a little daft, and it's nice to see some research backing this up.

I'd like to talk with you a little about this today, because, if this research is anything, there are fewer and fewer people out there like me who think that the secret to success is just going out there and busting your chops until you get there, and more and more who think you can just think your way to success.

Well, I've got news for those people: nuh-uh.

Being a Challenge to Women (& REALLY Turning Them On)


Back on the article about gym pickup, The Tool (one of our forum members as well) commented in asking about ways he could meet girls in the gym as a member of the staff, without overstepping professional boundaries:

It was 8 am and this girl wanted to Tan and she had another hour before she could tan (24 hour law) so she begged and i told her to wait another hour, she stayed in the locker room and came out an hour later, she asked If she could tan yet, I told her 5 more minutes and asked her "so what brings you to the gym this early on a saturday? working out before work or to flirt with the guy at the front desk? She said Haha I am not. I said "you totally are and now your lieing about it...jeeze." she said haha I guess I am. anyway jist of it I deepdived a bit and got her digits saying your a cool girl we should get some coffee sometime. she said sure and baddabing.

Anyway as a staff member things like this are risky for I can lose my job if it was ever found out or I made it awkward for a girl. So would you advise that those guys who are in fact the staff not try to pick up girls at their own gym?

My advice to The Tool was to use barriers to get these girls chasing him; it was, in effect, this: be a challenge to women.

being a challenge to women

In the article excerpt from my eBook entitled "How to Challenge Women," I discussed why you want to be challenging women, how it helps you, and what the potential risks are if you take it too far. And I offered a few strategies from the book on not being too little of a challenge.

But what about really being a challenge to women? Is it possible to use conversation and communication to set things up so that women are pursuing you, regardless of whether they were or weren't at first?

Sure, it's absolutely possible.

And, it's a heck of a lot easier than you might think.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 14th Edition


carnival of dating advice

It's time for our first new carnival of the new year - Carnival 14 of the Carnival of Dating Advice, bringing you the best new

Today's articles include some on talking to women and what to say; one on shyness; and even articles on the impact of money on relationships and the differences in concerns between married and unmarried couples.

Let's proceed with the carnival...

How to Build a Male Body That Drives Women Crazy


Note from Chase: Ross is one of the members of the new Girls Chase forums. He's one of the posters who emerged early on as a guy with clearly a good handle on dating and seduction, meting out solid advice to posters in need. He expressed interest in writing a piece for the site on weight-lifting and building a better body, and since this is something guys have been asking about on here for some time, I told him I'd be thrilled to have him write something up. So here it is, Ross's first article on Girls Chase, on building a sexy male body that'll drive girls up the wall.


We’ve all seen those guys that are huge, muscular, and sexy. Women comment on their bodies and appear to be turned on from the get-go. Wouldn’t it be nice to have those same exact women looking at your body and being primed for sex from the beginning of your interactions with them?

male body

Luckily enough, getting muscle isn’t as hard as you think it is. Even for guys like Wes, who commented a few weeks ago:

I've been a skinny guy all my life because I have a fast metabolism...gaining weight and muscle is difficult for me.

I too was in this mindset some time back. I blamed genetics, my life, everything, just about, on me being thin. People would jokingly ask me if I ever ate, and would tell me that I needed to eat a jar of lard to finally put some weight on my frame. I was 6’3” and 147 pounds for two years after my final growth spurt in high school, and no, that wasn’t due to an eating disorder. I would lift weights, chug down protein shakes, and gorge myself with food and water whenever I stepped on the scale and didn’t gain weight.

However, no matter how strong my will was, I just wasn’t being smart about it, and eventually went on to pursue other goals, as this one obviously wasn’t panning out.

It wasn’t until a change in lifestyle, that, to my amazement, I started to actually gain weight. I thought it was crazy, but all I really needed was being able to eat as much food as I wanted at a buffet.

There are two problems that people run into when they are trying to build muscle. Either they aren’t working out their muscles hard enough, or they aren’t getting the proper nutrition that will allow for muscle growth. I’m going to teach you guys how to overcome both of these problems, and it is my hope and aim that you won’t have to go through what I had to endure before achieving the kinds of results and the kind of male body you’ve always wanted.

Get Her to Say “Yes”: Excite Women and Beat Resistance


Today I want to share with a post on eliminating resistance through prevention, and freeing up the women around you to be excited by you.

excite women

I want to start out by saying... I’m the LAST person who should be writing this article on how to prevent resistance and actually excite women about saying “yes” (to everything you want them to say “yes” to) -- but the same thing that makes me the last person who should be writing it, also makes me exactly the right man for the job.

What do I mean by this?

As you may know from my previous articles (especially the one on weight loss for men), I wasn’t always exactly the most attractive guy around. I was overweight, unattractive, and the worst of it: I sucked with women.

Strangely, as I grew out of this, and started to refine my fundamentals, becoming progressively more “attractive” meant I started to have even more issues with women... not less.

I became less seductive, and had trouble getting my way. Women were flighty with me, and often trying to burst my bubble. Challenges from girls were around every corner, as if I were being given a pop quiz.. every 5 minutes. Auto-rejection was an ever-present threat, and I had my hands full trying to figure out why girls would drop off the face of the earth when they had just a day prior gave me many compliments. They were slow to move, and had trigger fingers when it came to throwing up walls of resistance to my advances.

These girls were clearly attracted to me; I knew this as the attention I was getting was nowhere near what I had prior to losing weight. Not even close.

But what’s going on here? It sounds like auto-rejection, but it isn’t really... It wasn’t so much that they were ejecting from my presence... but rather challenging it full force as if they had to. Like:

Me: Why are we having platitudes?

Her: We aren’t exchanging platitudes. Was that your word of the day? A little awkwardly used.

Erk... great job, Eric.

In this case, it wasn’t normal testing; and it wasn’t normal auto-rejection. It wasn’t either of those things.

What was it?

It was resistance, and as it turned out, I had been the one causing it. Often you’ve no doubt heard the phrase, “follow the path of least resistance.” Well, I was no stranger to the flip side of this concept... that is to say, taking things down completely the WRONG (resistance-paved) roads.

Today, I’m going to share with you my journey from unattractive, to attractive-but-failing, and then finally: suave... and I’m going to show you how to dispel resistance, not by dealing with it, but by cutting off the root of the problems that cause it to arise in the first place, so that you can excite women instead, and get them saying “yes” to you with relish and abandon.

Of course, you’ve got to be able to identify the symptoms before you can figure out what’s resistance and what isn’t - so that’s where we’ll begin today: with identifying the signs of a woman in resistance to you.

Changes for Girls Chase in 2013


Hey there gentlemen,

Chase Amante here. It's the start of a new year - 2013; and new things are afoot.

We'll be introducing some new, (relatively) major changes to the website that are going to both massively up the value the site's bringing to you over the course of the year, and change the way you use it for the better.

Girls Chase 2013 Logo
(the new Girls Chase logo)

What we have here right now is a content business - an article-based site - where the site isn't all that well-designed for finding the kinds of articles you most want. It's a blog setup, which is usable, but far from optimal.

We also have a business model that's centered on product sales, for a website that's all about the content. It's what you'd call a mismatch between what the reader comes to the site for, and what the business side of things wants to achieve (i.e., enough revenues to properly maintain and grow the site and company).

So, sometime between late-January and mid-February most likely, we'll be premiering two new things:

  • A totally new, newspaper-influenced website design that's cleaner, more navigable, more readable, and yet retains enough of the old style of things that it should feel like a pretty natural transition to old hands around here (you can see a development snapshot of one of the new category pages here; obviously, nothing's complete yet, though); and

  • A new, New York Times-style content subscription model, where you'll be able to access 10 articles on the main site for free per month, and you'll be asked to pay about 20 dollars per month to subscribe and keep reading if you'd like to read more than 10 articles per month

I expect there's probably a fairly wide opinion here among the regular readers about this; both about the site redesign and, likely more so, about the new content subscriptions.

Before you jump to any conclusions though, I'd like to ask you to take a walk with me (metaphorically speaking) as I discuss with you why we're making the changes we are, and what you can expect out of Girls Chase in this new year.

How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs


Recently we've been getting a lot of comments from guys asking how to pick up girls at bars and nightclubs. I've even had a few commenters on here asking if any of the material on Girls Chase works in nighttime venues.

Well, that's funny to me, because almost everything I discuss on here was developed, tried, and tested first in bars and clubs.

pick up girls in bars and clubs

In fact, to this day, these remain my preferred venue type for picking up. You won't find girlfriend-quality girls hanging out much in these places... and you'll even find some downright crazy girls at times.

But if you want to pull off quick pickups and bring girls home within hours or minutes of meeting them... if you want to put yourself in a venue where much of the screening is already done, and a healthy chunk of the women there are looking for something right now... and if you want to really train and hone and test and refine your skills and abilities with women in a fast-paced, ultra-competitive, extreme-as-extreme-gets environment, bars and clubs are it.

Now if all that appeals to you, well... where do you begin?

“Do You Have a Girlfriend?” Here’s How to Answer This


In "Girl Changes Her Mind Too Much? Try This," Maxz asks this:

Speaking of indecision, I had a question for you. I recently had two girls who I was trying to bed ask me if I had a Girlfriend? I told each girl "I was not exclusive to any one woman".

One of the Girls who had agreed to come over to my place flaked the next day saying she could not make it because she had suddenly got sick though I am certain she was not. Do you think her flaking was a response to my answer? As I think this girl was trying to put me in the BF category and my answer I thought put me out of that label.

He's right here that you don't want to simply up and answer "Do you have a girlfriend?" in the normal yes/no way that most men do. A straight "yes" or "no" robs you of any intrigue, puts the control of the interaction clearly into the asker's hands, and just generally makes things a lot less interesting.

do you have a girlfriend

Plus, whether you say "yes" or "no," it's easy for either one to say something bad about you:

  • If "yes," that you're 'off the market' and not available (or some sleazy guy who sneaks around behind his girlfriend's back if you try anything)

  • If "no," that you're not preselected by other women and there must be something wrong with you (why don't other women want you?)

You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. But if you tell her "I'm not exclusive," well, that has problems too - now you're seen as some freewheeling wild man who's either immature or "not what she's looking for" much of the time.

How on Earth do you answer this?

Girl Changes Her Mind Too Much? Try This


No doubt you've had the experience of having things all locked with a girl - she's agreed to a date, say, or she's decided that, yes, she's coming to this restaurant or bar with you, or, yes, she's coming home with you.

And then, the girl changes her mind.

girl changes her mind

It can be enough to drive you crazy. All that work just to get her to say "yes"... and then she goes and says, "Wait, on second though - no!"

Or, you're out with a girl and she says, "Let's get some ice cream. Can we get ice cream?" So you say sure, and start heading to the ice cream shop. Then, out of the blue, she says, "Wait, no; let's get some Mexican food. Come on, I want Mexican." So then she turns the two of you around and now you're walking back the way you came, in the direction of the Mexican food she's now so certain she wants.

And God help you if you should find yourself out with a gaggle of girls, where you're the only man and you're not in charge... the endless back and forth between one girl saying, "I want this!" and then minutes later saying, "Wait, I want this!" and the next girl saying the same thing and other girls yelling, "What should we DO?" and still more girls yelling, "Come on! Let's just go!" can be enough to drive a man mad.

Where does all this indecision stem from - and what can you do about it as a man?

How to Text Girls: 20 More Tips and Techniques


how to text girlsIn the article on second dates, Todd comments on a girl he's met and some of the texting they've done between their first date and second, and finishes up with the questions below:

What's the next step? I don't want her to lose interest, but I'm gone for this entire week. We said we'd get together next week once I'm back. Do I just want an entire week before I give her another call/text? I don't want to fall out of her mind.

If you've been around on this site a bit, you know the philosophy on how to text girls here is this:

  • Write your texts simple and to-the-point
  • Don't get mired in long text conversations
  • Keep your eye on the ball (i.e., setting up dates)

You probably even know some of the rationale behind that... if you've ever found yourself in a long, frustrating back-and-forth trying to figure out how on Earth you're going to get this girl you've traded 10,000 text messages with out on a date, you've had an inkling of this already.

But, the temptation may still be strong to enter into some witty text banter, and do a fair amount of "maintenance" texting... after all, no harm can come from being in contact, right?

This post is put together to break you of any remaining predilections you might have for engaging in long / witty / thoughtful text conversations with women, and show you clearly, precisely, and unequivocally why you must focus not on building rapport over text... but on sorting out dating/meeting logistics, and that's it.

Let's dive in.