Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Relationship Series: Recaps, Takeaways, and One Last Note


relationship seriesWell, that time has come - time to wrap up our relationship series.

This has been a long collection of articles about the topic of relationships we’ve put out over the last several weeks… and if you asked me to, I could easily write another one just as long. Relationships are simply an incredibly complex topic, with a million little counterintuitive nuances.

Every time you think you’ve got them down… you don’t.

On the one hand, many of the rules we learn for dating go out the window… the game changes completely once you get into a monogamous, committed relationship with a girl.

On the other hand, you still can’t suddenly be a pushover, so a lot of the inner game advice still applies… and where and how to apply everything and in the right context is certainly an art and a science unto itself.

A lot of readers had written in with questions about relationships… and in my experience, this is what a large portion of our students ultimately want to get out of this game… sure, it’s nice to have a lot of choice in beautiful women, and sure, it’s nice to at least have the ability to live a playboy lifestyle for a while.

But when it comes down to it, most guys don’t really want to live life as far out as Chase or myself. The two of us have taken dating to the extreme, which is why we’re now in a position to teach just about anybody about almost any situation – after a decade of obsessing over this skill the way an Agassi would obsess over the game of tennis, there aren’t many situations we haven’t experienced yet. You might not want to be this obsessive… most people don’t.

Get Over Your Ex: 13 Steps to (Emotional) Freedom


get over your exIn yesterday’s post on ways you can lose a girlfriend, we went over the 4 things that can and almost universally WILL lead to the demise of your relationship (when you’re guilty of them): being too weak, fighting too much, bad sex, and taking her for granted.

Those things happen. In fact, they happen so much, it’s my (relatively conservative, I think) estimation that they happen 90% of the time… because something close to 90% (or more) of relationships come to an end sometime before death does them part.

Because of that, breakups end up being an inevitable fact of romantic life. Unless you’re one of the vanishingly few people out there who marries his high school sweetheart without ever kissing another girl and the two of you go onto spend the next 60 or 70 years in blissful union (and if you are, hats off to you! But why are you reading this blog?), you’re going to experience a breakup at some point.

And then it’ll be time to move on.

But like I mentioned in yesterday’s post, nobody WANTS to move on.

Everybody wants to know how to get their ex back. At least, everybody searching for information on the topic, that is.

Yet I promised a post to the readers yesterday on putting the past behind them and gearing up for the future. So let’s say you’re one of those few individuals who HAS reached that point where he’s said, "You know what? It IS time to move on."

Once you’ve decided it’s what you want to do… how do you get over your ex?

4 Things That Will LOSE You Your Girlfriend


So let’s say you do a great job with everything we’ve covered so far in the relationship series. You romance a girl, make her fall in love with you, weed out relationship drama, and build yourself a happy, healthy, rewarding relationship. There’s no way for you to lose a girlfriend now… right?

Well… not quite.

As it were, there are exactly FOUR ways to lose your girl, and quickly.

And you don’t have to do all of them.

You just have to do ONE of them.

lose a girlfriend

Because in the case of relationships, just ONE of these is all it takes to break Humpty Dumpty to pieces and cause you to lose your girlfriend for good.

Below, I list out what exactly of these four ways are… and what the one exception is to this rule of four.

Student of the Game: 7 Long Distance Relationship Tips


long distance relationship tips I’ve been seeing more guys than usual engaged in long distance relationships lately. And it’s not an uncommon situation to end up in in our increasingly mobile world - one or both partners leaves to attend school in a different city, or even country; she leaves or you leave to take a job somewhere else in the world.

And often these scenarios are okay - at least at first. But long distance relationships have a tendency to get complicated in a hurry.

Nevertheless, you may find yourself in a situation where you either need to choose to say goodbye, or choose to be in a long distance relationship with that one special girl. Is long distance a good idea?

Today, I want to give you a number of long distance relationship tips, an overview of when a long distance relationship is okay - and when to stay away - and take a look at the dynamics of making this choice.

End Relationship Drama with These 2 Rules


relationship dramaHave you ever noticed how women sometimes launch into relationship drama, picking a fight for no logical reason at all… and how even their arguments themselves are completely devoid of logic? Or how women sometimes try to boss you around, just to see how much they can get away with?

And with 80% of guys, a woman can get away with a LOT… until she completely owns him and walks all over his dignity. Yet he’s grateful - hey, at least he has a real girlfriend that is not made of rubber! (Grab one of our programs, of course, and you won’t have that problem).

But why do women do this? What’s the deal with women and drama? We all know they don’t want a weak guy… so why are they undermining his strength and masculinity? And what’s the best way to deal with it?

You may have read on our blog before that women test men because they NEED to make sure their man is strong – so that’s one reason why they put his masculinity to the fire. But if you give a girl too much rope, she’ll hang you with it.

Another reason for drama, however, is one of the more insidious tricks of Mother Nature… women also need to gain a certain amount of relationship control over their men. If she’s not in charge, he might leave once she’s pregnant… she needs to be sure that she can access his resources, both for herself and for their offspring.

If she starts to hold TOO much control in the situation though, she will see that you’re not strong enough and lose all interest in you. On the other hand, if you hold too much control, you will probably lose interest in her – that’s the essence of the passion trap.

The secret is to strike the right balance… and to do that, you will sometimes have to disarm one of her tests.

Please Help Caitlin and Her Mother (and Get Some Good Karma in the Process)


caitlinI don't normally run these sorts of things on the site because I'm a hard-hearted ne'er-do-well, but Caitlin's a close personal friend of mine and she's gone through some pretty hard times lately, so I wanted to ask for your help if you can provide it.

At the end of May, Caitlin's mother (in the picture with her on the right) was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. A mere five days after that diagnosis, on the 26th of May, Caitlin's father passed away.

It's been a very challenging year for Caitlin and her mother and sister, especially with a geographically dispersed family like theirs: a mother who is suddenly without a husband in Oregon, and two daughers living down in California who are now flying back and forth to take care of her.

As part of her catharsis, and to drum up funding to help find a cure for Parkinson's (and, her mother), Caitlin's running in the Chicago Marathon next month for Team Fox of the Michael J. Fox Foundation. She has to reach $6,000 prior to race day, and she's half the way to her goal. If you can help, please do - Caitlin's had a rough few months, and she could use your help to get a little more hope and a little closer to a cure for her mom.

You can read a little more from Caitlin and pledge a donation here:

San Francisco Sole Connection: Caitlin, Annie & Nick!

Thanks for your support, from both Chase and Caitlin

How to Romance a Girl (and Really Steal Her Heart)


how to romance a girlLet’s pick up where we left off in “How to Build a Relationship” and “How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You.” As I mentioned previously in our relationship series, no matter how hot she is and how many options she has in guys, and no matter how much of an ice-queen she may appear to be on the surface… the reality of the situation is, it’s never an impossible task to figure out how to romance a girl because she’s likely not happy with her love life.

You cannot imagine how frustrating it is for women that they can’t seem to find a good guy!

If she’s very hot, this is even more frustrating… because now she really starts to question everything: “If I’m as beautiful as everybody always says I am, then where’s my prince? And what’s wrong with ME that I can’t find the right guy?”

I know, it’s outrageous… you’re probably thinking – what are they talking about? I AM a good guy… I’m right here… and I even approach them, what’s the matter with them?

The thing is, a good man, and one that is good enough for that kind of high-caliber girl, really IS exceptionally rare… and if you shape yourself into that kind of man - if you ask the question“ What do girls look for?” and then you go and become that - you will have a LOT of choice and power with women.

But that is exactly her dilemma… not only are these ideal guys one in a million, but they also have so many options that they’re very hard to nail down.

Recommended Reading


recommended readingHere's another diversion from the ordinary (we're getting a lot of that this week - the "Do You Like Someone?" infographic yesterday, and now a book post), but we had a few requests over the past few days for a recommended reading list... and since those are fun to do and I haven't done one on here before... well, here you go.

I've broken these down into sections via category. Some are books everyone's going to love... some are books only certain folks will. I'll note which books will appeal to which people in the descriptions.

Anyway, who's this post good for? This is good for anyone who wants to read on a wider selection of topics - or anyone who's curious to explore some of the literary background of a lot my own personal thinking.

Note: yes, the links to books on Amazon below are affiliate links. No, you don't have to buy the books via the links included. But they're there if you need them.

Do You Like Someone? Here's How... and Why (Infographic)


Do you like someone? If so... ever wonder why?

Paging through some research, I came across a study performed in 2002 by Helen E. Fisher et al., entitled "Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment," published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior that introduced a 3-emotion system for attraction and mating I hadn't heard of before.

Rather than breaking this down and explaining it in a blog post though, I wanted to try a somewhat different tack than usual. So, today's post is an infographic post - something you can scan, rather than immerse yourself in.

Here's hoping you enjoy. Infographic below the jump...

Carnival of Dating Advice, 5th Edition


carnival of dating advice

It's that time again, so introducing the fifth edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice! As usual, we've got some interesting (and eccentric) articles from all over the Internet for your reading enjoyment, ranging from cohabitation to co-dependence. Let's have a look.

Topics this week include Self-Improvement, Relationships, one for the ladies, and another on friendship. We've got some pretty engaging articles this week, so I'm excited to present them to you and hope you enjoy.

On with the carnival...