Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why'd She Reject You? The 3 "Rejection Factors"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women on bench rejecting male suitorMost men mix up women’s different reasons for rejection into one big (confusing) soup. But if you want to stop getting rejected, you need to tease out the different rejection factors.

You see a girl you like the looks of.

You approach.

She rejects you.

Why did she reject you?

There's always a reason for it.

If you understood that reason, you could correct for it, and avoid future rejections from future girls who look like her.

Most guys will pick any old reason out of the sky ("I'm too ____" or "I'm not _____ enough!"). Or they may ask women why they rejected them, which only gets them the most superficial reasons, not the root reasons.

Yet there is a way to discern her TRUE reason for rejecting you... roughly-speaking, anyhow... that way you can zoom in on correcting it with the next women you talk to.

Announcing GirlsChase.TV

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

At long last, it's arrived!

Our in-house video platform.

YouTube's been telling seduction coaches to get gone for a while now. Most of them have already left.

We've kept a presence on there (via Hector's videos) but my assumption has been that sooner or later we'll have to leave there too.

Rather than focus too much effort building on a platform we can't control, I decided to focus my efforts on building one we can.

Introducing... GirlsChase.TV.

As a Man, You've Got to Know What You're About

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

man looking at own reflection in glassPeople will judge you by generic metrics unless you show them what you’re about. A man who knows that about himself becomes attractive, respected, and admired.

On one of my articles, long-time reader Sub-Zero asked once more about his age-old preoccupation with old age, talking about his being a late bloomer and saying:

What would you say is a good reason a man can tell women why he is single, childless, and unmarried as an older man? I believe you said it wasn’t a good look before and I hear it all the time it looks weird, I heard women really dislike it too and say it’s a red flag. But if you’re not really interested in it or have the funds, I think it’s wise to not have those things just for society’s approval, especially if you can’t afford it. Is there anything you can say at all to make it not look bad?

SZ has been asking questions about variations of this topic for almost seven years now. Many things change in life, but if there's one guy you can count on to be consistent, it is Sub-Zero. If there is still a Girls Chase 20 years from now, I reckon you will still find Sub-Zero here, asking questions about growing older and being a late bloomer.

What I want to address here is this idea of "How do you explain yourself if you're outside the norm?"

Because that is a skill almost every man really should have... and it comes down to not "what things do you have", not even "what deeds have you accomplished", but instead rather "what are you all about."

Hot, Sane, Single Girls Under 30 Usually Haven't Had a Soul Mate Yet

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

beautiful woman walking down the streetIf she’s hot, sane, never-married, and under 30, it’s good odds she’s never experienced major heartbreak. Why’s this good? It means you can still be her first real, deep love.

On my article "How to Be the Best Guy a Girl's Ever Dated," a reader named Lobster asks:

How many do you think [out of] 10 [girls] have had an exceptional man? And how does [this rate] change [as they] age? Thinking about it, however, the strongest are born already from young people and probably almost all who have had relationships will have someone in their hearts since when they are young they have a lot of time to spend together

I initially read his comment as "what do you think about 10-out-10 girls who have had an exceptional man", before I realized he was asking what portion of women on average have had one.

In this article I'd like to talk about why women hung up on their exceptional exes -- 'alpha widows' is the term that gets used for this a lot (I like this term; it has a nice ring) -- are not really as common as you might think, and why that means the playing field is wide open for you if you are (or are willing to turn yourself into) an exceptional man.

7 Factors Behind the 2020s Dating Collapse

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

factors of the dating collapseDating has been on the decline in the West for some time. There are 7 main sociocultural reasons why. Together, they weave a web of complexity fewer and fewer daters break through.

I want to take a break from tactical articles to talk today about a broader topic.

While this won't contain how-tos, it will contain important perspectives I think will help shape the way you think about the dating landscape.

We've talked for a while about how dating is getting harder for people. We mainly talk about ways it is getting harder for men here, since this is a male-oriented site, but it's actually getting harder for both sexes.

It can be hard to put a finger on gradual changes, and even harder to name specific contributing factors to those changes. Generally what you will see is people who have one pet theory and blame it for everything: "It's due to feminism!" "It's due to porn!" "It's due to Hollywood brainwashing!" "It's due to a decline in morals!"

Social systems are complex systems though. They are hard to understand because they have many moving parts, and all those moving parts interact with each other. There is almost never one single cause for a major breakdown in function within a complex system.

Today we'll be looking at what I find to be the seven (7) most important causes of our contemporary breakdown in dating -- one that's led to an enormous reduction in romantic activity among men and women, and an explosion of bitterness among both sexes.

Easing a Guilty Conscience After Breaking a Girl's Heart

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

woman crying and man looking sadIf you’ve broken a girl’s heart, it’s easy to feel guilty. There are reasons not to let that feeling linger, though, because all things mend – broken hearts included.

On my article "How to Be the Best Guy a Girl's Ever Dated", reader 90210 comments:

Chase,

I had a wonderful two years relationshp with this amazing girl. We eventually broke up after a big fight and ended on good terms.

I got hold of her journal (we had a shared Google account, I think she forgot about it)

And what I read broke my heart. I saw the relationship from her perspective. All her hopes and dreams on me. She was convinced I was the one. She wanted to marry me and have kids together. Our fights hurt her deeply and she used the journal as an escape.

I saw her raw, unfiltered thoughts. How she thought I was the greatest guy she's ever met. How she was not sure about how serious I was with the relationship. How she would do anything for me. How she would be my greatest supporter in my mission. How she was so madly in love with me that she couldn't stop thinking about me.

She never told me about the marriage thing nor did I set the wrong expectations.

But I gave her the best relationship she's ever had. She never failed to mention it. She invester so much in that relationship. The gifts she gave me were so expensive that I had to swerve by my no gift policy.

She's a great gal but not a perfect girl, if you know what I mean. Focussing on pick up and bringing more beautiful girls in my life is something I really want. So the breakup worked in my favour.

She hasn't chased me down. While we ended on good terms, she's still very cold and distant.

But I just can't shake this feeling of sadness for her. That I might have broken her hopes of finding a decent guy.

I feel so much regret for unknowingly leading her on. I feel so much regret for giving her hopes and then shattering that promise of a shared future.

At this point, if I could pair her up with a guy suitable for her, who would give her what she wants and make her happy, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I just want her to be happy.

I know she isn't in my life anymore and I'm not responsible for her life choices. But she is such an amazing person, she did so much for me, I'm filled with so much pain and regret for what happened.

I certainly commiserate.

I've gone through the same thing (repeatedly).

It's gut-wrenching to see a girl you care about with a broken heart after you leave.

I've even done what 90210 talks about, working to fix past lovers up with guys I think are a match for them, to get them smiling again (and ease my troubled conscience).

Not every guy goes through this.

Maybe women don't attach to you too strongly. Perhaps your relationships end before they can get that deep. Or you might regularly leave your women on equal terms, the investment balance in the relationship never having become all that lopsided.

However, if you have experienced being a heartbreaker, you have probably also experienced the guilt that comes with it -- and the soul-searching that guilt kicks off:

  • "Did I do something wrong?"

  • "Have I ruined romance for her?"

  • "Am I just not cut out for relationships?"

It's more common than you might think, people with troubled consciences over relationships they left where the other partner was hurt and pining for them. There are a lot of folks who swear off relationships to greater or lesser extent as a result of this.

You just don't want to be causing that kind of hurt; you don't want to have that kind of responsibility for someone else's feelings.

Well today, we're going to look at how to ease the heartbreaker's troubled conscience -- and what duty you have to a broken-hearted ex, plus whether you really need to swear off relationships (or not).

Picking Up Girls Fast, Pt. 2: Compliance Pickups

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

woman flirting with man who is picking her up at the nightclubAnother way to pick girls up fast: get loads of (rapid) compliance. One of the most surefire ways to do this? By having girls touch you themselves and mutually escalate on you.

Note: Although this post is primarily about getting quick lays, you can apply the tools mentioned in other situations. They are great tools to learn, even if you are not looking to seal the deal fast

Hey guys and welcome back.

Previously, I provided a checklist with tools to increase your success picking up girls fast. Today, I’d like to expand on that by sharing what I consider the two “magic weapons” for getting quick pulls:

  1. Making the escalation mutual

  2. Constantly testing her compliance

Both are often linked, as you will see. This is the tool that will truly help you out. Last time, I gave you the basic tools (and a few advanced tweaks): the bread-and-butter toolset.

Today, you will get the magical tools used by the top guys who specialize in the field of quick pulls. You can (and should) use these tools in conjunction with the escalation tools discussed in the last post.

Today’s tools will increase the level of safety. If you remember, we reviewed the issues with quick pulls in earlier articles.

What are some dangers of quick pulls?

  • They happen fast, which may be too fast for you to screen well for the right girl.

  • They often involve physical game, which is a riskier form of seduction. It can be legally risky since uncalibrated physical escalation can lead to legal consequences, especially if heavy. Sadly, quick and more intense escalation is required to get fast pulls. So it is a catch-22 that we will try to solve here.

This post is about making physical escalation safer and more efficient: two very welcome benefits.

Seduction Frames: Outsider vs. Insider Framing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

male student chatting up female student on stepsNearly every conversation you have frames you as an outsider or an insider to something. But have you framed yourself as such on the right things… and in the right way?

Often in seduction you will be presented with (or have the opportunity to present) group affiliation.

At this moment you're faced with three (3) choices:

  1. Show yourself to be an insider
  2. Show yourself to be an outsider
  3. Dodge the question altogether

Depending on the girl and the situation, your choice of what affiliation to show can make or break a seduction.

Group affiliation affects how similar a woman feels to you, a key aspect of the SAC seduction model. Make yourself too unaffiliated with a group she feels closely affiliated with, or too closely affiliated with a group she dislikes, and you may be too dissimilar for her to trust you.

On the other hand, sometimes being an outsider to a group she's a part of can work to your advantage... and sometimes being an insider to a group she isn't can too.

Talking to Girls Early On: Initial Light Approaches

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

man touching woman on the shoulder to say hiWhen you approach a new girl, what should you talk about? Deep topics… or light ones? The answer is: light conversation when you first talk to a girl, if you want success.

On my article “What an Average Girl's Dating History Looks Like” last year, reader 'Handome & Wealthy' commented:

Here's a quick Q on the part about not talking about yourself to a girl.

I do this a lot. My brand of game is the stong silent guy game. I've been told I'm "calm" "mysterious" "like a spy" and some girl even said I'm "distant" and "hard to get to know".

I'm still working on my calibration so I don't appear too detached.

But there's an issue I keep running into.

I meet girl. Hook. Then begin to deep dive without sharing much about myself. I'm careful not to go in too deep with the dives so the vibe is good. My conversations are interspered w/ a lot of flirting and mild cocky funny quips.

However after we part ways... the vibe changes. Changes bc the girl feels like she overshared and didnt get anything from me.

What goes here Chase? How do I stay detached without creating murky vibes after?

I referred him to my article on anchoring attraction, so that the emotions she feels in conversation with you don't evaporate once conversation ends.

But next I talked to him about something I see a lot of guys get wrong, especially guys who discover deep diving... which is to go straight into deep, contemplative conversation during that first initial interaction.

Early interactions should usually be fun, flirtatious, and light. You do not want them to be too heavy with meaty conversation and weighty emotions.

In today's article, I'll give you some tactics you can use to keep the initial interaction light and moving forward, without having to rely on deep dives (just yet).