Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

The Beauty, Greatness, and Goodness of Female Moral Nature

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

female moral nature
Female morality can seem alien to men – and men fear what they do not understand. Yet the moral woman can be man’s greatest lover and supporter… if he is willing to be a moral man.

Note: this article is part of a discussion on female morality among experts who view the subject through different lenses. In this article, Part 2, Chase Amante discusses the perspective of women as operating under a different, complementary moral system to that of men.

We published an article by Hector this Monday that ruffled a lot of feathers. Its title was Women Do Not Care About Morality. The premise of the article was that women’s morality revolves around what is best for their biological strategy – their morality comes in service of S+R, in other words. Survival and replication. Hector did not intend it as a dark piece, but many readers got that out of it. I wrote this article to cover the same subject – yet in a slightly different light.

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Since I started dating, over the past dozen years, I have seen women do crazy things.

I had sex bareback with a very sexy girl in a white, ornate dress on our first date. She was already a little buzzed when we met up and was carrying a cup filled with wine when we met. The white dress was odd, but nothing unusual about it struck me... until I got a phone call from the husband I didn’t know she had, and discovered her wedding to him had been, well, roughly sometime right around the night I had sex with her. I deduced I had been intimate with her in what I then realized must have been her wedding dress. The husband lived across the country and I guess flew in for the wedding then flew back out that day. Did I hike up the bride’s wedding dress and take her from behind on her wedding night? I didn’t ask the guy for specific dates; he was clearly in a lot of pain (again, I had no idea this girl was married, and it did not register to me she was in a wedding dress – just not something you expect a girl to show up in on a date, so it doesn’t really even process). But it seemed like, yes, that was probably her wedding night.

Later on, I reunited with an ex-girlfriend. She had already begun to date another man while we were split... yet when we reconciled, she neither told me about her new boyfriend, nor broke it off with him. Yet I suspected there was someone else. A few months in, she grew pregnant. I immediately expressed doubt the child was mine; she swore she had been with no one else. “We’ll see what the paternity test says,” I told her. She became deeply stressed, then miscarried; we split back up. I got the full details on her other man – and that she’d slept with both of us on the likely date of conception – when I happened by chance upon her journal months later. Which man fathered the child? I doubt I’ll ever know.

Years after that, another ex-girlfriend of mine befriended a then-current girlfriend I had. On the surface, my former girlfriend masqueraded as a very good, loyal friend to my then-current girlfriend. But she whispered all sorts of things into my girlfriend’s ear: Chase is not handsome. Chase does not have good career prospects. Chase is a selfish lover. Chase this. Chase that. You should break up with Chase. Chase is completely wrong for you. Chase will destroy your life. According to my girlfriend, 90% of what this ex-girlfriend told her about me was bad. It caused drama to spike in the relationship and brought us very close to breaking up. At the same time she whispered terrible nothings into my present girlfriend’s ear, this ex-girlfriend sent me secret messages to meet up, kissed me when I met her, cried over me, and invited me home to her apartment to renew our relationship. It was clear what her game was: get Chase’s current girl to break up with him, and get Chase all to herself. She had always been the sweetest, most warm-hearted girl in the world, and to see her lie and manipulate my girlfriend to separate her from me, so this ex-girlfriend could have me to herself again, surprised even me... and I was quite grizzled in the ways of women at this point.

You may be thinking “Chase must date low class women.” Or perhaps Chase’s women are sluts. Yet, each of these girls had a post-college education. Each had a well-paying professional job. Each of the girlfriends had relatively low sex partner counts when we started dating. These were normal, quality, classy girls (well, the first chick – the bride – she was a little kooky).

To men, this stuff can seem shocking. It may seem like women are rough, depraved... immoral.

Yet there is another side of female morality. A side that is downright pristine.

A side that, once you get past the shocking aspects of women not being Disney princesses, can hearten them to you, with all the warmth, affection, and care a man outside the Matrix can muster.

This side is the true beauty and goodness of the real female moral nature.

Tactics Tuesdays: Go with a Wingman or Roll Solo?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

wingman vs. solo
You’re about to go out and meet girls. But should you go with a wingman or just roll solo? 8 reasons solo is good and 8 reasons a wingman is.

You’re new, but you’re excited. You’re ready to go out and meet new girls. But it seems a little scary, and you’re not sure how to start. One of your biggest questions: go out with a wingman, or go it alone?

We’ve discussed both solo and wingmanning before on Girls Chase. Both are very different approaches, and each offers its own advantages and disadvantages.

Today’s article is a direct comparison between the two. Should you roll solo to meet new girls? Or is it better to take a wingman along?

When you’re new to chatting up girls, this can be one of your big decisions: whether you head out alone or find someone to go with you. Yet even if you’re more experienced, odds are (if you’re like most men) you’ll have settled into one particular style... either you always/usually roll out alone, or you always/usually roll out with a wing. This may be the style you’re comfortable with – but it may not be the style that serves you best.

We’ll pick apart the nuances of wingmanning vs. going stag here, and help you better decide which style to use for what occasion.

Women Do Not Care About Morality

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

female morality
Female morality revolves around one central tenet: is this good for her sexual strategy? If yes, do it / agree with it / subscribe to it. If no, don’t.

Note: this article is part of a discussion on female morality among experts who view the subject through different lenses. In this article, Part 1, Hector Castillo discusses the perspective of women as existing outside what we typically think of as morality.

Defining morality is tough. Even the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, which begins with a statement about how it’s simple to define, winds up incorporating an entire dissertation on the various details that go into defining morality.

This particular comment from the entry jumped out at me:

“This is strikingly illustrated by the fact that both C.H. Whiteley and Neil Cooper took themselves to be revealing the important ambiguity in the meaning of “morality” when they distinguished the sociological sense from the psychological (Whiteley 1959) and the social sense from the individual (Cooper 1966).”

This perfectly sets up the context of this article on the amoral nature of women.

Let me be clear. I’m not arguing that women don’t have moral standards. Of course they do. Even sociopaths have a moral framework, though it is devoid of sympathy and concern for others if it doesn’t also benefit them.

The most basic definition of normative morality is “what a person ought to do.”

The operative word here is “ought.”

For many people, their “ought to do X” revolves around duty. This is called duty ethics, for obvious reasons. “My family, my tribe, or my culture demands that I do X, thus X is my duty.” Of course, at some level they have to accept this duty, but this is meta-ethics, and a digression.

Others argue that we should be utilitarian, that our actions should benefit the greater happiness of society. This might also be classified as a duty ethic.

For some moral frameworks, morality is absolute. In others, it is relative. In some scenarios, you should act according to “good,” in others, you should act for yourself, even if it means doing something “bad.”

The usual response to this is some pseudo-intellectual form of “Well, who can define good and bad, huh? It might be bad to one person but good to another,” and it’s left there without an actual foray into meta-ethics.

This response, if anything, is an implication of normative moral relativism, which states that “Because we can’t come up with a good definition of good and bad, we should tolerate everyone’s definitions.”

How that works out in practice, you can judge for yourself.

Fortunately, this isn’t an article on normative or applied ethics. It’s an article about descriptive ethics.

I am describing the observed amorality of women. Nothing more, nothing less.

What you do with this information is up to you. Any anger or spite you may cultivate as a result of this article is your responsibility alone. If anything, I respect women for their savagery. They may not be as violent as men, but they can sure inspire violence, socially and physically. If you want to truly become a lover of women, you need to understand and accept the amoral nature of women. Any remnant of false idealism, and you are loving a false ideal of women, not women themselves.

Let us begin.

Should You Regularly Ping Text Girls Who've Eluded Your Dates?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ping girls for dates
If she eludes your dates, it can feel tempting to ping her regularly to make sure she doesn’t forget you. Yet there are better follow-up strategies than this.

A reader writes in:

“Chase,

First off, I really value your dating advice; it’s rooted in logic and psychology and that’s how I operate.  It resonates in a big way with me.

So my scenario/question...

There is this one girl.

I’ve known her for about 2 years, but we never hooked up because one of us has always been in a relationship.  I own an organic juice bar and she actually came into the store the other day.  Attraction was definitely strong and she extended her number to me.

We went on a date a few days later; local, food, drinks and just established rapport and comfort.  Of course my end game was to get intimate with her, but it didn’t happen.  I was sort of bummed.  No good night kiss?  I can’t remember the last time that happened.  After the date we texted and I asked if I could call her and I did.  We basically stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours, sort of continuing the date convo.

I asked her on the phone, “Why no kiss?”.  She mentioned that she is shy, that she is attracted to me, the fact that I was on antibiotics for strep throat (day 6) bothered her a bit.  We also talked about how she is a bit messed up from an ex and that recently, she was actually falling for someone hard and chased him but it didn’t work out because he doesn’t want a girlfriend.

I’ve been trying to set up date 2 but it hasn’t happened yet.  I’m just keeping the texts short, direct, nonchalant, non predictable non needy, etc.

I really think she is just hung up on this guy (the one she was recently intimate with and doesn’t want a girlfriend) and after some time I’ll be able to meet her again and put the moves on her.  I’m confident once we’re intimate she will be chasing me.

However, I am by no means not seeing other girls.  I always keep about 3-4 in the rotation so I’m not lonely on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night.

MY QUESTION – Texting is such low effort as is Instagram and DM and things of that nature.  Is it ok to use these methods once in awhile to keep a “girl in the loop”?  I feel that timing is everything sometimes and this may be a method to grab her attention at the most opportune time.  What are your thoughts on this?  I’m not sitting home pining over her.  I just feel like the end goal is so close within reach and don’t want to completely give up.  If this is a viable method for achieving my end goal what would you recommend?  Frequency, context, things of that nature?

Thanks you for you time!”

This is a great question. You get some progress with a girl, it feels like it’s close, but then it doesn’t happen. She doesn’t come out on dates, but she still responds to your messages.

So the question is: do you ping her from time to time to see if she’s available and changed her mind? Or do you not? And if you do, how often?

Girls Who Seek Attention, Part I: What Are "Attention Seekers"?

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By: Alek Rolstad

girls seek attention
Women love to get attention from men. Why girls become attention seekers, and how to interpret what they want, is key to getting somewhere with them.

Hey, guys. I hope you are ready for a theoretical post regarding female psychology.

Today I will share some in-field observations I have made recently concerning attention-seeking behavior in females. Now, this phenomenon is nothing new to me; however, it wasn’t until recently that it became clear to me how to deal with it. Yes, I have had encounters with attention seekers before and have managed to have sex with them, but it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized a post about the subject would be highly valuable to many of you guys, as you will inevitably meet attention seekers in your seduction adventures – it is more or less impossible not to.

All women seek attention; some more than others. We will discuss why they do and which parameters affect their behavior. The idea here is for you to understand how the process works and its impact on your interactions with women. I believe that by covering this subject, many lightbulbs will illuminate and a lot of things you are experiencing when interacting with women will make more sense.

As mentioned, this post will cover the phenomenon, the causes, and the impacts. Next week, however, in Part II of this series, we will cover the solutions to the problem.

Why Girls Sleep with Cads Fast (and Put Boyfriends on the Slow Track)

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

boyfriend slow track
Girls “slow track” boyfriend candidates for a variety of reasons. So what must you do to be the guy on the fast track – to her bedroom and beyond?

This is a touchy subject for most. I first and foremost believe in treating everyone with respect and love. However, sometimes it is best to be real and not sugarcoat the dating scene with the ideals that have been littered among our society by Disney and such. Sometimes it is best to deal with the world with a Machiavellian eye. If this bothers you, best not read any further. Otherwise, read on.

Whenever I talk to men, I hear the same thing over and over. It must be so easy to be a girl; they get guys so easily. Everyone wants a cute girl. Well, not to burst any bubbles, but both sexes have their troubles. Being a women is not easier, just different.

In the arena of dating, yes, girls can generally get sex whenever they want. If you are a cute girl, you can go anywhere and get a guy, but you cannot necessarily tie him down. It is hard for girls to keep a man who is worth a damn.

Let me put it this way. The crucial difference here between the sexes in terms of dating is that girls can have sex whenever they want but have a hard time achieving their goal of a relationship; we gentlemen have a hard time getting sex but an easier time getting a girlfriend out of the situation. In this way, the goals of each sex can confound the achievement of the goals of the other.

"Girls Only Want Good-Looking Guys or Young Guys"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls only want young guys
The most attractive thing to women is neither youth nor beauty. So why do so many guys think girls only want good-looking guys or young guys?

Okay, I want to talk about the “girls only date good-looking guys” or “girls only date young guys” thing. I have more intellectual articles against these positions and I’ll share them with you in a moment. But intellectual arguments aren’t always the best way to get the message across, especially when guys are deep in a certain viewpoint.

First let me share a comment from a reader of my “When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?” article from last week:

“Keep deluding yourself that youll be more attractive to women as you get older. I have never heard a younger woman say Kevin Spacy or Sean Connery was “hot.” Only older women. Women in the past had to settle down with older men because they didnt have the means of supporting themselves. Thats it. If she had the choice and the income theres no way she would choose him over a younger guy. Plus, do you think its right that older men had relationships and children with teenage girls? Its a pretty messed up system because a girl hasnt even lived her life, and you know if the girl could support herself theres no way she would go for that older man6. Girls go for older men because of convenience, not because of attraction.”

To which I responded with a screen grab of a bunch of young chicks swooning over Old Man Connery on Yahoo Answers, plus a picture of Sean having a merry laugh:

Sean Connery sexy to younger women

There are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of younger men than anywhere else on Earth, who remain very attractive to younger women even into quite old age. And there are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of good-looking men than anywhere else on Earth, who are very attractive to women despite plain or terrible faces. This is undeniable. The only way you can pretend these men don’t exist is if you plug your ears and shut your eyes and make loud noises to yourself every time one of these guys crosses your path.

But this willful blindness/ignorance guys engage in about this subject runs deeper than just “I don’t think that ever happens or if it does it must be super rare.” It’s actually about guys with zero or very little experience with women, who do not understand women, trying to tell men with lots of experience with women who understand women very well that actually those men have no idea what they are talking about and in fact women are actually some other way.

The guys who say stuff like this are never guys you would take woman advice from in the real world. From 30 feet away you can tell these guys don’t do well with girls and don’t understand them.

I’m not trying to pick on these guys. There are a lot of men who don’t understand women, and it’s always been that way historically. Women are hard to fathom. This entire website is dedicated to helping men who don’t understand women come to have a better understanding of them.

But when you get guys who do not understand women trying to talk about how they know women so well and that actually all these things that are commonplace things that happen with women are in fact impossible and never happen, you get this weird bizarro world perspective on dating emanating from certain corners of the male sectors of the Internet.

And we need to talk about that.

How to Plan a Party that Makes You Friends and Gets You Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to plan a party
The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more.

We've had guys on Girls Chase asking me for years for a party planning guide that will help guys make awesome friends and meet beautiful girls. Most of the women I meet I meet via cold approach (i.e., I see a girl I like wherever, so I just go talk to her). And most of my friends I've met either via other friends or from forums (often private forums) I participate on.

However, there was a time I used to throw parties. Great parties, exclusive parties, with high status men and beautiful women.

Sometimes I threw big parties, with hundreds of people in attendance. And more often I threw smaller soirees with 25 to 40 people (which are generally easier to manage and better to connect with people at... and hook up at).

I didn't start off good at party planning. The first party I threw, a Halloween house party a few days before the holiday (back in 2007), saw a total of four people show up: one close friend of mine at the time, who flew down from Chicago for what he thought would be a legendary bash, and three random guys sent there by some girl I'd asked to come (she didn't come, but she sent some dudes I didn't know over. First rule of party planning: random dudes showing up = not ideal). This after I'd spent weeks preparing for the party – my decorations were awesome! – and loads of cash on drinks, candy, and other snacks. My friend, myself, and the three random dudes ended up heading to a bar after about 40 minutes when no one else showed up.

I spent the next 3.5 years going to every party I could and picking the brains of the party planners before I felt confident enough to try another party of my own. And once I did start to throw my own parties, unlike that first attempt these parties were hits.

What I learned along the way, from first flop to final bash, was how to plan a party a lot more people showed up to... for, in general, a lot less work.

This is my guide to that. And while it will be easier than what I did in 2007 for that go-nowhere bash, it'll still be some work – don't think this will be a cake walk.

It's going to be work. But if you want to build the kinds of parties that make all your wildest party dreams come true, and be the man of the hour yourself, you're going to want to build them yourself, too.

The Problem with Gaming Girls You Don't Like

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

girls you don't like
It’s good practice to chat up girls you aren’t much into. But what happens when your ego gets involved? You mustn’t let girls you don’t want affect you.

I had a bit of a breakthrough recently. It was almost childish that this was a lesson I hadn’t truly integrated into my psyche, though I’ve understood it conceptually for the longest time. Hell, it was a flaw that I had fixed in a few of my coaching clients, to their benefit, but I thought I had moved past it.

‘Tis the blinding power of pride. You think you know something because you understand it backwards and forwards, but it’s a very different thing to know something on the cellular level – to feel it.

What was this lesson?

Don’t game girls you don’t really like.

Seems simple enough, right? Duh.

But not so quick... let’s set some groundwork.